Once upon a time, there was a baby naturalista who used to sit in front of the mirror every night, with her arms held high for over 45 minutes, trying to complete the perfect twist out.
As she huffed and puffed, she wished for a fairy godmother who could end her misery and just grant her poppin' curls at the flick of a wand. But, this naturalista eventually came to her senses and realized: ain't nobody got time for that.
Like many ladies, my time is precious. In a perfect world, I could spend 30-45 minutes every night crafting the perfect twist out, but it just doesn't work that way. Dinner needs to be cooked. Errands need to be run. Assignments need to be completed. In my opinion, one of the hardest parts about the transitioning process is the "orientation period" when you become oriented with your new hair texture, learning which products work best for you and simply building your artillery of no-fail hairstyles. It's not glamorous, and quite frankly, it can be very time consuming and demoralizing.
Related: The Truth About Transitioning from Relaxed to Natural
Despite the highs and lows of the "orientation period", there are ways to make your life a lot easier and still achieve your desired look. While there are nuances for every curl pattern, here is the lazy girl's guide to natural hair, 5 ways to save your precious time and energy:
Condition
Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize! Our hair needs a lot more moisture than our non-curly counterparts, and failure to keep our hair conditioned paves the road to breakage. When I had a relaxer, I'd probably dabble a few drops of hair oil on my scalp once a week and was good to go. If anything, I tried to limit usage of any oils or sheens that would make my relaxed hair look too weighed down. Now natural, I was shocked how much more I need to condition my hair, both in quantity and frequency, in order to achieve the shine and bounce needed for my hair to be healthy and malleable. I find styling 100% easier when my hair is well-conditioned (and a little damp). A lot of the frizziness and tangling I was encountering earlier in my transition process was the result of too little moisture, so now I am religious about leave-in conditioners and deep conditioning.
Tip: Invest in finding your go-to leave in conditioner. For the days I'm in a hurry, my personal favorite is, It's a 10 Miracle Leave-In Conditioner, and the spray nozzle makes conditioning even faster.
My hair post-shower with only leave-in conditioner and no curling products.
Detangle in the Shower
Showers are a whole production in my household. Shaving and face masks aside, I have a whole detangling playlist created for my wash-days. The steam from the shower helps loosen your curls and open the pores in your scalp, allowing for products to be better absorbed. I typically part my hair into 4 sections with clips and then condition and detangle each section – the whole process complete by the time I'm done singing "Neighbors Know My Name" and "Rocket". Those extra 8-10 minutes in the shower save me an additional 20+ minutes while styling, especially if I'm doing a braid or twist out.
Tip: Detangle the ends of your hair first before working your way up to the roots. And, be gentle on your ends to avoid tearing or excess breakage.
KYP: Know Your Products!
This right here is the deal-breaker. My hair with and without products looks like two totally different curl patterns – two totally different people! Finding the products that work best for your hair takes time and it's important not to call off your entire natural hair journey because one product line doesn't work for you. I personally had a terrible experience using Cantu products and was convinced that the whole natural hair movement was a conspiracy created by beauty corporations to drain my bank account. Then, I found Shea Moisture, which went on to be my holy grail for the next year before I transitioned to As I Am products. The point is: products matter. Not only is styling easier with the right products, but they should help increase your overall hair health – which may even result in you "growing out of" and moving onto new products.
Tip: Watch YouTube videos with ladies who have similar textures to your curl pattern and then try the products that worked for them. Also, purchase "tester" hair products in smaller volumes, so you don't end up stuck with large quantities of a failed product.
My hair after a twist-out and using As I Am curling products and Eco Styler gel. Note: my hair gets 50% fuller after it dries.
Recycle Your Twist-Out
In the now *rare* occasions that I do complete a full twist-out, I will only twist and add products one time before "refreshing" it. This means, I will wear my hair down curly the first day and then continuously tie it up at night in a way that will let me repurpose my original effort without having to continuously restyle. At night, I will flip all of my hair up into a "pineapple" and then let my hair back down the next day. It's as easy as it sounds, and "refreshing" the next morning takes me 5 minutes tops. Usually, all of my curls are preserved from the night before allowing me to stretch my original twist out another 2-3 days before transitioning to buns and ponytails.
Tip: Do a really good twist out on the first day and use ample products to ensure that your curls stay defined later in the week.
When in Doubt, BUN or POOF!
I wear my natural hair in a bun so often that my coworkers are star-gazed when I actually wear my hair down for a change. Up or down, slicked or messy, buns make the world go round. Every natural girl will eventually find her no-fail hairstyle and it will become her security blanket. I love that I can slick my hair into a high bun in 60 seconds, tie my edges down for 5-10 minutes, and be out the door in seconds. More often than not, I'll style my bun or ponytail at night and just tie it down with a scarf and sleep in it. The next morning, there really isn't anything for me to do beyond getting dressed for work. It's quick, classy, and relatively effortless. For some, a poof functions the same way.
My favorite natural hairstyle: a slicked bun
Tip: Find your quick style. Own it, live it, love it.
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Featured image by Lydia Anglin
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In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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Feature image by Mike Lawrie/Getty Images
