

Once upon a time, there was a baby naturalista who used to sit in front of the mirror every night, with her arms held high for over 45 minutes, trying to complete the perfect twist-out.
As she huffed and puffed, she wished for a fairy godmother who could end her misery and just grant her poppin' curls at the flick of a wand. But, this naturalista eventually came to her senses and realized: ain't nobody got time for that.
Like many ladies, my time is precious. In a perfect world, I could spend 30-45 minutes every night crafting the perfect twist-out, but it just doesn't work that way. Dinner needs to be cooked. Errands need to be run. Assignments need to be completed. In my opinion, one of the hardest parts about the transitioning process is the "orientation period" when you become oriented with your new hair texture, learning which products work best for you and simply building your artillery of no-fail hairstyles. It's not glamorous, and quite frankly, it can be very time-consuming and demoralizing.
Despite the highs and lows of the "orientation period", there are ways to make your life a lot easier and still achieve your desired look. While there are nuances for every curl pattern, here is the lazy girl's guide to natural hair, 5 ways to save your precious time and energy:
Condition
Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize! Our hair needs a lot more moisture than our non-curly counterparts, and failure to keep our hair conditioned paves the road to breakage. When I had a relaxer, I'd probably dabble a few drops of hair oil on my scalp once a week, and was good to go. If anything, I tried to limit the usage of any oils or sheens that would make my relaxed hair look too weighed down. Now natural, I was shocked at how much more I need to condition my hair, both in quantity and frequency, in order to achieve the shine and bounce needed for my hair to be healthy and malleable.
I find styling 100% easier when my hair is well-conditioned (and a little damp). A lot of the frizziness and tangling I was encountering earlier in my transition process was the result of too little moisture, so now I am religious about leave-in conditioners and deep conditioning.
Tip: Invest in finding your go-to leave-in conditioner. For the days I'm in a hurry, my personal favorite is, It's a 10 Miracle Leave-In Conditioner, and the spray nozzle makes conditioning even faster.
My hair post-shower with only leave-in conditioner and no curling products.
Detangle in the Shower
Showers are a whole production in my household. Shaving and face masks aside, I have a whole detangling playlist created for my wash days. The steam from the shower helps loosen your curls and open the pores in your scalp, allowing for products to be better absorbed. I typically part my hair into 4 sections with clips and then condition and detangle each section – the whole process complete by the time I'm done singing "Neighbors Know My Name" and "Rocket". Those extra 8-10 minutes in the shower save me an additional 20+ minutes while styling, especially if I'm doing a braid or twist out.
Tip: Detangle the ends of your hair first before working your way up to the roots. And, be gentle on your ends to avoid tearing or excess breakage.
KYP: Know Your Products!
This right here is the deal-breaker. My hair with and without products looks like two totally different curl patterns – two totally different people! Finding the products that work best for your hair takes time and it's important not to call off your entire natural hair journey because one product line doesn't work for you. I personally had a terrible experience using Cantu products and was convinced that the whole natural hair movement was a conspiracy created by beauty corporations to drain my bank account. Then, I found Shea Moisture, which went on to be my holy grail for the next year before I transitioned to As I Am products. The point is: products matter. Not only is styling easier with the right products, but they should help increase your overall hair health – which may even result in you "growing out of" and moving onto new products.
Tip: Watch YouTube videos with ladies who have similar textures to your curl pattern and then try the products that worked for them. Also, purchase "tester" hair products in smaller volumes, so you don't end up stuck with large quantities of a failed product.
My hair after a twist-out and using As I Am curling products and Eco Styler gel. Note: my hair gets 50% fuller after it dries.
Recycle Your Twist-Out
In the now *rare* occasions that I do complete a full twist-out, I will only twist and add products one time before "refreshing" it. This means I will wear my hair down curly the first day and then continuously tie it up at night in a way that will let me repurpose my original effort without having to continuously restyle. At night, I will flip all of my hair up into a "pineapple" and then let my hair back down the next day. It's as easy as it sounds, and "refreshing" the next morning takes me 5 minutes tops. Usually, all of my curls are preserved from the night before allowing me to stretch my original twist out another 2-3 days before transitioning to buns and ponytails.
Tip: Do a really good twist-out on the first day and use ample products to ensure that your curls stay defined later in the week.
When in Doubt, BUN or PUFF!
I wear my natural hair in a bun so often that my coworkers are star-gazed when I actually wear my hair down for a change. Up or down, slicked or messy, buns make the world go round. Every natural girl will eventually find her no-fail hairstyle and it will become her security blanket. I love that I can slick my hair into a high bun in 60 seconds, tie my edges down for 5-10 minutes, and be out the door in seconds. More often than not, I'll style my bun or ponytail at night and just tie it down with a scarf and sleep in it. The next morning, there really isn't anything for me to do beyond getting dressed for work. It's quick, classy, and relatively effortless. For some, a puff functions the same way.
My favorite natural hairstyle: a slicked bun
Tip: Find your quick style. Own it, live it, love it.
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Featured image by Lydia Anglin
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Lydia is a recent Ivy League graduate who is passionate about using her voice to enact change in minority and female communities. Dubbed the "Intern Queen," she has worked 8+ internships in diverse industries, including Wall Street firms and the Obama White House, and is now bringing her career and lifestyle tips to you! Meet Lydia on Instagram @queen_of_anglin and Twitter @its_lit_dia.
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Relationship Timeline
Sterling K. Brown and Ryan Michelle Bathe are one of our favorite Hollywood couples. We can't get over their adorable moments together on the red carpet and on social media. While they're both from St. Louis, they didn't meet until college, which they both attended Stanford. And the rest is as they say, history. Read below as we dive into their decades-long relationship.
Mid to Late1990s: Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Meet
Sterling and Ryan met as freshmen at Stanford University. "We were in the same dorm freshman year...that's kind of how we met," Ryan said in an interview with ET. "I was mesmerized," she said after watching him audition for the school play, Joe Turner's Come and Gone. Sterling revealed that The First Wives Club star was dating someone else, so they started off as friends.
"She got cast in the play as well, and we would ride bikes to rehearsal, and we would just talk. We found out that we were both from St. Louis. We didn't know that we were both from St. Louis, like, our parents went to rival high schools. We were born in the same hospital. Like, we were friends," he said.
The first few years of their relationship involved many breakups and makeups. However, they ended up graduating and attended NYU's Tisch Grad Acting Program together.
Early 2000s: Sterling K. Brown Tells Ryan Michelle Bathe She's 'The Love Of My Life'
The Paradise star opened up about telling Ryan that she was the one. "We broke up for three and a half years before we came back into each other's lives," he said. "She was on the treadmill working out, and I had this epiphany, 'I have to go tell this woman she's the love of my life.'"
"I go to her apartment, I tell her, and she's like, 'Well, I'm working out right now,' and I was like, 'No, I can see that—I'll just talk to you while you're on the treadmill,' and she's like, 'Well, I feel like going outside. So I'm gonna go on a run,'" he continued. "So I'm like dressed [in a suit], and she starts running through Koreatown, and I start running along with her. Brother had to work, but it was well worthwhile."
2006: Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Tie The Knot
The St. Louis natives eloped in 2006 and a year later held a larger ceremony. According to the bride, the best part of their wedding was the food. "The best thing about it was the food," she told ET.
"Can I just say, sometimes you go to weddings, and you get the winner-winner chicken dinner and you're like, 'I pay. OK, it's fine.' But I wanted people to remember their experience -- their culinary experience. So I was happy about that. The food was good."
2011: Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Welcome Their First Child
In 2011, Sterling and The Endgame actress welcomed their first son, Andrew. In a 2017 tweet, Sterling revealed they had a home birth. "An unexpected home delivery is something my wife and I went through ourselves with our first born, so this was round 2 for me!" he wrote while referring to a scene involving his character Randall, in This Is Us.
2012: Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Appear On-screen Together
A year later, the couple acted together on the Lifetime series Army Wives.
2015: Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Welcome Their Second Child
In 2015, Sterling and Ryan welcomed another son, Amaré. Sterling shared an Instagram post about their latest addition to the family. "1st post. 2nd child. All good! #imoninstagram," the Atlas star wrote.
2016: Ryan Michelle Bathe Joins Sterling K. Brown On 'This Is Us'
Ryan guest appears on her hubby's show, This Is Us.
Sterling K. Brown Reveals Ryan Michelle Bathe's Mother Didn't Like Him At First
During their sit-down interview for the Black Love series, Sterling revealed that Ryan's mother wasn't a fan of him, which caused friction in their relationship.
2024: Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Explain How Jennifer Lopez Once Broke Them Up
While visiting The Jennifer Hudson Show, Sterling and Ryan share their hilarious Jennifer Lopez break-up story. "We had just gone out, we were living in New York City, we were in grad school, and we had gone to see a Broadway play and we came back to my place and my roommate was playing the ["Love Don't Cost A Thing"] video on MTV," Sterling said.
"Now I'm a fan of Jennifer Lopez's dancing, and I was watching the video and I knew my young...21, 22-year-old girlfriend was looking at me watch the video. And I know I'm not supposed to have a reaction. In trying NOT to have a reaction, what had happened was, my eyes began to water."
Ryan jumped in, "Otherwise known as, TEARS! I turn around and my boyfriend is weeping, tears like big fat [tears]. And I'm looking and she's just a shakin' and a shimming, and he's just crying. I said 'Oh no, I got to go.' "
2024: Sterling K. Brown & Ryan Michelle Bathe Launch Their Podcast, We Don't Always Agree
The couple launched their podcast, We Don't Always Agree, where they disclose more intimate details about their love story.
Feature image by Chelsea Lauren/Shutterstock