Trust & Believe: These Finds Will Help Revive Your Second-Day Curls
If there's one thing we know, it's that the relationship between a naturalista and her mane is filled with outstanding highs and sometimes embarrassing lows.
Some days, you feel like you're one of the JET Beauties of The Week. Other days, you just want to throw on a hat and disappear because your hair decided to do its own thing and show out. And we all know that dreaded feeling that comes the morning AFTER a bomb hair day. You know, the moment you take off your bonnet or silk scarf, shake out your hair, take a good look, and––yeah. We've been there sis, more times than we'd like to admit. But the good news is, you don't have to stay there.
Keep reading for some of our fave products that'll keep your second-day curls poppin'.
*Some links are affiliate links. If you make a purchase, xoNecole may earn a small commission.
Miss Jessie’s Jelly Soft Curls
Miss Jessie's
There's a reason why they call it jelly soft. If your curls are a little lackluster, dampen your hair or add a decent amount of this product to dry hair, scrunch for best results, and watch them come back to life.
Cantu Coconut Curling Cream
Cantu
If the smell doesn't get you sold, then the way this product enhances your curls will. This smooth cream lets your natural curl pattern shine through without weighing your hair down.
SheaMoisture Coconut & Hibiscus Curl Enhancing Smoothie
SheaMoisture
This product has been a staple for naturalistas seemingly since it first came out, and there's a good reason for that. It truly is one of the best curl enhancers for thick, curly hair. As a seven-year naturalista, this is one product that never does me wrong.
Garnier Fructis Sleek & Shine Fortifying Conditioner
Garnier
I firmly believe that one of the best ways to ensure good day-two hair, is to prep and properly moisturize it from the beginning. This brand is normally targeted towards our less curly friends but don't sleep on this conditioner. The fruit protein actively works to control frizz which sets you up for a smoother, sleeker finish once you get to styling.
Garnier Fructis Sleek & Shine Intensely Smooth Leave-In Conditioner
Garnier
We strongly suggest following up the Garnier conditioner with its leave-in companion. And that's because the infused Argan oil in both will help to seal in your hair's natural moisture while blocking out humidity. And with both systems working together, believe us when we say––your curls will look brand new.
Creme of Nature Pure Honey Curl Activator
Walmart
It's the shine and elongation for us. This curl activator not only keeps your strands looking silky smooth, it also helps elongate them, kicking shrinkage to the curb. And who doesn't want that?
Cantu Define & Shine Custard
Target
This custard gives you all the benefits of a nice, defined curls without the sticky buildup. It also keeps them soft and bouncy, no hard-crunch in sight.
SheaMoisture Manuka Honey & Yogurt Leave-In Spray
SheaMoisture
When this line first came out, I had never heard of Manuka Honey. But honey, when I tell you this spray is the truth? Use this for a quick curl refresher to hydrate and reawaken your coils.
Eco Styler Black Castor & Flaxseed Oil Gel
Walmart
We know the jury is still out on whether or not we really rock with Eco Styler like that. But for those that do or those who are willing, this Black Castor and Flaxseed Oil version turns your curls from dry and dull to light and luscious with little-to-no effort.
Curls Blueberry Bliss Control Jelly
You aren't a true naturalista if you don't have this jelly in your stash. From your fave influencers to everyday babes, this product not only defines your curls but it holds the curl in place. That way your hair keeps its beautiful form day after day.
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Featured image by Shutterstock.
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Writer. Empath. Escapist. Young, gifted, and Black. Shanelle Genai is a proud Southern girl in a serious relationship with celebrity interviews, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, and long walks down Sephora aisles. Keep up with her on IG @shanellegenai.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images