I have an ex who used to say, "If you've got to rely on condiments to make your food taste good, it wasn't prepared right in the first place." Say that. And you know what? When it comes to sex, on many levels, I would apply this very point. I mean, when I get the right medium-well steak, it doesn't need Worcestershire sauce marinade; sometimes, I just want it. And when two people are in sync and have good chemistry and sex technique, a sexual condiment isn't required. It is simply the icing on the cake. Quite literally.
Since a condiment is technically defined as being a spice, sauce or particular way a food is prepared in order to enhance its flavor and since what I'm gonna share today are 12 different ways that you can incorporate certain condiments into sex — look at all of these as a way to "enhance" whatever you and your partner already have going on in the bedroom. Because "cake" is already delicious. "Icing" just makes it that much sweeter.
1. Frosting
Ah, the icing on the cake. Did you catch the pun (icing? CAKE?). Anyway, frosting can serve as a really cool sex condiment for a couple of reasons. One, it comes in boatloads of different flavors. Two, because it's a much thicker texture than some of the other things that I'm about to discuss, it tends to be easier to clean up because it provides a clean, umm, lick. So, if it's been a minute since you've had frosting on, well, anything, pick up a jar or two at your local grocery store. It could make for a really fun night.
2. Chocolate Syrup
Out of all of the condiments that I plan to shout-out today, I'm thinking that the most predictable one is probably chocolate syrup. Unlike frosting, while it can make for a somewhat messy event (so be careful where you use it), it works because a lot of people like the taste and texture of it. Matter of fact, if you're someone who hates giving oral sex (check out "Sooo...What If You HATE Oral?"), it's the kind of condiment that can make everything so much easier to, well, handle.
3. Caramel Sauce
And what if you are one of the weirdos — sorry, I mean rarities — who loathes chocolate? A great substitute is caramel sauce. While it tends to be thicker than chocolate, if you warm it up a bit and add some butter (more on butter later), that can thin it out. Plus, the warmth can make going this route a little something extra special too.
4. Honey
While I doubt meeting dietary needs is the main focus when it comes to sex condiments, if you're curious about which one is probably the healthiest, I would have to say that it's honey. It's full of antioxidants. It's able to lower your blood pressure. It can even help you to sleep at night.
And while it is super sticky — like SUPER sticky — it tastes wonderful; plus, a little bit goes a really long way. So yeah, for all of these reasons (and more), this sex condiment definitely deserved a shout-out.
5. Whipped Cream
Something that a lot of movies promote, when it comes to sex scenes, is whipped cream. It makes sense on a few levels because it's got a delicate kind of sweetness to it and, if you don't want anything that tastes super heavy, it's light in texture too. Plus, in this case, you've got two options because you can either go with whipped cream that comes in small tubs and goes in the freezer or whipped cream that's in a can. Personally, I think it's more of a fun factor than anything because whipped cream does get sticky once it dries and it has a tendency to leave a milky scent on your skin until you wash it all off. Still, it's another option and definitely not one to turn your nose up about.
6. Jelly/Jam/Preserves
Personally, I think it's kind of crazy that prepared fruit, in the form of jelly/jam/preserves, doesn't get more love in this kind of sex space. If you look for jelly or jam at your local grocery store, there are plenty of different flavors, you can apply it at room temperature or put it in the fridge for a couple of hours first to make it chilly, and it's got a texture that is unlike anything else on this list. If fruit is one of your favorite things, using jelly/jam/preserves (that you can also make at home, by the way) is something to definitely incorporate into one of your other…favorite things.
7. Fruit Puree
At the end of the day, all fruit puree has in it is fruit and some sort of sweetener. You know what this means, right? You can stop by the store, pick up a favorite fruit along with some honey, brown sugar or whatever your sweetener of choice is, throw it all in a blender and you're good to go.
I actually like fruit puree a lot because you're able to customize the taste and texture and, to a certain extent, the temp too. I know this particular sex condiment doesn't typically come up in conversation. Stick with me. I'll take you places. #wink
8. Condensed Milk
Bet you didn't see this one coming; at the same time, whoever bakes on the regular can probably get exactly where I am coming from. While you do indeed need to like the taste of milk and not mind it being way thicker and super sweet in order for this to tantalize you, don't sleep on condensed milk. If you dip it into your favorite fruit and then rub it on each other — your life will never be the same, sis.
9. Cinnamon Oil
Remember how I said in the intro that condiments are sauces or spices (or a kind of preparation) that are meant to give something a specific taste or enhance the flavor of it? Back in my gettin'-it-in days, I was a huge fan of cinnamon oil. It's sweet. It's spicy. And it provides a bit of a natural heat sensation that can stimulate both parties simultaneously. Whenever I suggest this to couples, something that they will ask is if the oil burns. Well, for one thing, none of these condiments need to be going up inside of folks (for a myriad of reasons). Secondly, no. However, if you want to dilute the oil with a bit of coconut oil, just for safe measure, I totally get it.
10. Flavored Butter
Butter is a trip because, while I don't personally know anyone who just eats spoonfuls of it at a time, I do think that most of us can definitely vouch for the fact that butter makes everything better. Sex ain't exempt. The key is to make sure you go with a flavored kind. For instance, Land O' Lakes has butter that comes in honey and cinnamon spice flavors. They're tasty. They're smooth. And they melt semi-slowly. All three points are big wins. Or, if you'd prefer, you can make your own flavored butter from the comfort and convenience of your house. If this is something that you'd like to try, Happy Money Saver has three sweet recipes that you can test out for yourself right here.
11. Sweet Spice
This condiment is awesome; then add tax. The reason why I say that is because you can make it at home, put it into a jar that has a sprinkle lid and lightly sprinkle it onto your partner and lick it off — no muss, no fuss. And just what is in sweet spice? Stuff like vanilla beans, cinnamon, ginger, dried orange peels and nutmeg.
Out of all of the condiments on this list, it's probably the most drama-free in the messiness department. Anyway, if you wanna test it out for yourself, you can cop a recipe here (feel free to add or remove ingredients to your liking).
12. Ice Cream
Something that can really turn you and your partner on is switching up drastic temperatures during oral sex and intercourse. A really amazing and delicious way to do that is with the help of ice cream. The combination of the warmth of your mouth and the coolness of the creamy dessert can make for a truly unmatched experience. Just keep in mind that ice cream melts fast, it's also sticky and it will definitely require you washing your sheets immediately after. But if you're down, it's a sex condiment that can make for an unforgettable evening. Undeniably so.
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Now, I’ll be honest: as an avid TV-lover, I was well-prepared to hop on Zoom and jump into all the chatter around Bel-Air and her characters’ decisions. But after listening to her new EP Identity Crisis, I knew there was a lot more to talk about as well. During this exclusive conversation with xoNecole, Jazlyn Martin delved into the challenging journey she’s faced surrounding her identity, newfound fame, and family influence, and how it all plays a part in her art. Check it out!
xoNecole: So I know that your father is in the entertainment world, but when did you realize you shared the same passion?
Jazlyn Martin: I think it was very early on. I was a child who was full of attitude and fearlessness that would go after anything I wanted. I believe seeing my dad pursue music made me realize it was possible. I just had this hunger and fire, and my parents consciously fed and nurtured that - they are always all super supportive of whatever I do. So very, very early on, I was like, I'm meant to do this. And I just was like, I'm a star, and I know I'm a star.
xoN: Actually, let's talk about your family. What are some of your most important values, and how have your family and heritage played a part in shaping those values?
Jazlyn: I mean, my mom is like an angel; she's so graceful and kind, and I've had to work hard to get there. When I was young, I was very abrasive, headstrong, and stubborn. Whereas my mom gives an immense amount of grace in the way she carries herself. I had to learn that.
I think being strong is something I’ve always had. My parents always joke that they don't know where my personality came from. Because my dad is shy and timid and my mom is kind, and I'm a fireball. But my Dad always asked the important industry questions like, “Why do you want to do this?” And that instilled some purpose into me. It really carried me to keep going because it's so easy to be discouraged in this field, but that drive has helped me push through all of the challenges.
xoN: I bet. I have such a respect for actors and the way you all navigate the industry. Speaking of, let’s dig into “Bel-Air.” Were you a fan of the show? Did you have to go back and watch the episodes?
Jazlyn: So I actually did watch the show which is crazy because sometimes I don’t. I saw it was a reboot and was like, ‘Oh no, not another one.’ But I watched the first three episodes, realized how good it was, and ended up watching the whole season. I became a fan, and then a few months later, I booked the role!
I think the imagination is such a beautiful and powerful tool, and I feel like if you create something in your mind, it happens. It's a crazy thing, but I really just created Jackie's world - the house she grew up in, her parents leaving her, and everything. I created why she fell in love with dance. I really came at it from a human approach. If I see it, then the audience can see it.
xoN: Yeah, background plays into so much of how we deal with things, how we interact with people, and everything. And I feel like Jackie gets a lot of backlash. Like, we’ve all had a “Jackie Moment” to be real.
Jazlyn: She gets so much backlash! I just encourage people to give her grace and see the God in her because I do think she tells a lot of Black and brown girls' stories. People project on her, saying she’s too ratchet or hood, and I’m like does that mean she’s not loveable?
We have to be careful of what’s said and put out because Jackie has gone through things that I've never had to go through. The fact that she's alive and still highly functioning is a blessing. So what if she gets a little messy? I love her. Because she’s helped me extend empathy to people I don't necessarily want to or don't think deserve to have it. But she's 17, she's figuring it out, and she doesn't have parents. Like, that's such a huge factor.
"We have to be careful of what’s said and put out because Jackie has gone through things that I've never had to go through. The fact that she's alive and still highly functioning is a blessing. So what if she gets a little messy? I love her."
xoN: You mentioned how your character is viewed, which digs a bit into identity. So I want to talk a little bit about some of the emotional songs on your EP “Identity Crisis.” What inspired the track “Perfect?”
Jazlyn: When I was creating “Perfect,” I already had the EP title. So I kind of mapped out, like, the different conflicts I had in my head and categorized them into seven songs, and so one of my identity crises was being perfect. Because I feel like a lot of men tend to put women on pedestals. They're expected to be perfect - especially when you’re in the limelight. You know, you can't slip up. You can't say the wrong thing. Cancel culture is such a huge thing. And I just wanted to encourage people to give people grace to be themselves because that's not an easy thing to do.
I just wanted to take down this facade that I’m perfect because I never pretended to be. I never wanted to be. I think that's something people have placed on me, that I have it all figured out, I think I just carry it well, but that doesn't mean it's not heavy. I just wanted to be very vulnerable and honest. I think people think “perfect” is a compliment, but I think it's a cage because it doesn't allow room for error. It doesn't allow for you to be human and mess up and fail and take risks. So I just wanted to encourage grace.
xoN: Do you ever feel like you went through an identity crisis?
Jazlyn: I go through one constantly. Growing up, I didn't really have one. But I think as you get older and more aware and cognitive, you know how the world goes, and the world starts telling you who you are, instead of you deciding who you are. And I feel like being mixed played a big role in that, not feeling Black or Mexican enough. I wanted to belong to both worlds but didn’t so I was just “other.” That was an identity crisis in itself.
Also, being introduced to a level of fame has been interesting, too. I think we all go through identity crises all the time because we’re evolving and changing. It’s beautiful, but it’s also scary; you see yourself this one way, and then something happens, and there’s a shift. So yeah, I think it’s something we all go through but no one talks about.
"I think as you get older and more aware and cognitive, you know how the world goes, and the world starts telling you who you are, instead of you deciding who you are. And I feel like being mixed played a big role in that, not feeling Black or Mexican enough. I wanted to belong to both worlds but didn’t so I was just 'other.'"
xoN: I love that. And I know Hispanic Heritage Month is coming up, and you'll be speaking at the New York Latino Film Festival. Talk to me about what that moment means to you and what you hope to bring to the event. *Editor’s note: The interview was conducted before Hispanic Heritage Month began.
Jazlyn: I’m bringing some Afro-Latino-ness! I always grew up seeing Latinos being represented in a very specific way—very Spanish, not very Indigenous looking. So I'm really excited to bring the Black experience, with the Latino experience, to the stage because that's something a lot of people don't know exists.
People are always like, “Are you Black or Latina?” Well, I'm both! We were just dropped off in different parts. I’m excited to speak on that and highlight how prevalent anti-Blackness is within Latino communities. A lot of Afro-Latinos have faced an identity crisis because of it, including myself. It sometimes feels like you’re supposed to hate the other half of who you are.
For me, I held onto that little Black girl inside. I refused to let her go. And that’s what I want to represent when I speak—resilience and acceptance of our full selves. I’m also looking forward to meeting fellow Latino people, especially Afro-Latinos, and sharing our stories. It’s not a narrative that gets much attention, and I’m excited to represent.
xoN: I’m excited for you! Finally, with all the praise and recognition you’re receiving now, what has it been like to transition from working in music, dance, and acting to now being in the spotlight? How have you embraced this new level of fame?
Jazlyn: Um, it's overwhelming. I think that's the best word. Sometimes, I'm joyful, because I'm giving back to the community. People resonate with Jackie's stories and see themselves in her, which I think is the biggest compliment to me. But then sometimes, you know, I feel sad because I'm like, ‘Damn, I'm not doing enough,’ like I should be doing more. It's crazy, the industry is so fast-paced that you don't really try to celebrate wins. It's just a transition, an identity crisis of the like.
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