

12 "Sex Condiments" That Can Make Coitus Even More...Delicious
I have an ex who used to say, "If you've got to rely on condiments to make your food taste good, it wasn't prepared right in the first place." Say that. And you know what? When it comes to sex, on many levels, I would apply this very point. I mean, when I get the right medium-well steak, it doesn't need Worcestershire sauce marinade; sometimes, I just want it. And when two people are in sync and have good chemistry and sex technique, a sexual condiment isn't required. It is simply the icing on the cake. Quite literally.
Since a condiment is technically defined as being a spice, sauce or particular way a food is prepared in order to enhance its flavor and since what I'm gonna share today are 12 different ways that you can incorporate certain condiments into sex — look at all of these as a way to "enhance" whatever you and your partner already have going on in the bedroom. Because "cake" is already delicious. "Icing" just makes it that much sweeter.
1. Frosting
Ah, the icing on the cake. Did you catch the pun (icing? CAKE?). Anyway, frosting can serve as a really cool sex condiment for a couple of reasons. One, it comes in boatloads of different flavors. Two, because it's a much thicker texture than some of the other things that I'm about to discuss, it tends to be easier to clean up because it provides a clean, umm, lick. So, if it's been a minute since you've had frosting on, well, anything, pick up a jar or two at your local grocery store. It could make for a really fun night.
2. Chocolate Syrup
Out of all of the condiments that I plan to shout-out today, I'm thinking that the most predictable one is probably chocolate syrup. Unlike frosting, while it can make for a somewhat messy event (so be careful where you use it), it works because a lot of people like the taste and texture of it. Matter of fact, if you're someone who hates giving oral sex (check out "Sooo...What If You HATE Oral?"), it's the kind of condiment that can make everything so much easier to, well, handle.
3. Caramel Sauce
And what if you are one of the weirdos — sorry, I mean rarities — who loathes chocolate? A great substitute is caramel sauce. While it tends to be thicker than chocolate, if you warm it up a bit and add some butter (more on butter later), that can thin it out. Plus, the warmth can make going this route a little something extra special too.
4. Honey
While I doubt meeting dietary needs is the main focus when it comes to sex condiments, if you're curious about which one is probably the healthiest, I would have to say that it's honey. It's full of antioxidants. It's able to lower your blood pressure. It can even help you to sleep at night.
And while it is super sticky — like SUPER sticky — it tastes wonderful; plus, a little bit goes a really long way. So yeah, for all of these reasons (and more), this sex condiment definitely deserved a shout-out.
5. Whipped Cream
Something that a lot of movies promote, when it comes to sex scenes, is whipped cream. It makes sense on a few levels because it's got a delicate kind of sweetness to it and, if you don't want anything that tastes super heavy, it's light in texture too. Plus, in this case, you've got two options because you can either go with whipped cream that comes in small tubs and goes in the freezer or whipped cream that's in a can. Personally, I think it's more of a fun factor than anything because whipped cream does get sticky once it dries and it has a tendency to leave a milky scent on your skin until you wash it all off. Still, it's another option and definitely not one to turn your nose up about.
6. Jelly/Jam/Preserves
Personally, I think it's kind of crazy that prepared fruit, in the form of jelly/jam/preserves, doesn't get more love in this kind of sex space. If you look for jelly or jam at your local grocery store, there are plenty of different flavors, you can apply it at room temperature or put it in the fridge for a couple of hours first to make it chilly, and it's got a texture that is unlike anything else on this list. If fruit is one of your favorite things, using jelly/jam/preserves (that you can also make at home, by the way) is something to definitely incorporate into one of your other…favorite things.
7. Fruit Puree
At the end of the day, all fruit puree has in it is fruit and some sort of sweetener. You know what this means, right? You can stop by the store, pick up a favorite fruit along with some honey, brown sugar or whatever your sweetener of choice is, throw it all in a blender and you're good to go.
I actually like fruit puree a lot because you're able to customize the taste and texture and, to a certain extent, the temp too. I know this particular sex condiment doesn't typically come up in conversation. Stick with me. I'll take you places. #wink
8. Condensed Milk
Bet you didn't see this one coming; at the same time, whoever bakes on the regular can probably get exactly where I am coming from. While you do indeed need to like the taste of milk and not mind it being way thicker and super sweet in order for this to tantalize you, don't sleep on condensed milk. If you dip it into your favorite fruit and then rub it on each other — your life will never be the same, sis.
9. Cinnamon Oil
Remember how I said in the intro that condiments are sauces or spices (or a kind of preparation) that are meant to give something a specific taste or enhance the flavor of it? Back in my gettin'-it-in days, I was a huge fan of cinnamon oil. It's sweet. It's spicy. And it provides a bit of a natural heat sensation that can stimulate both parties simultaneously. Whenever I suggest this to couples, something that they will ask is if the oil burns. Well, for one thing, none of these condiments need to be going up inside of folks (for a myriad of reasons). Secondly, no. However, if you want to dilute the oil with a bit of coconut oil, just for safe measure, I totally get it.
10. Flavored Butter
Butter is a trip because, while I don't personally know anyone who just eats spoonfuls of it at a time, I do think that most of us can definitely vouch for the fact that butter makes everything better. Sex ain't exempt. The key is to make sure you go with a flavored kind. For instance, Land O' Lakes has butter that comes in honey and cinnamon spice flavors. They're tasty. They're smooth. And they melt semi-slowly. All three points are big wins. Or, if you'd prefer, you can make your own flavored butter from the comfort and convenience of your house. If this is something that you'd like to try, Happy Money Saver has three sweet recipes that you can test out for yourself right here.
11. Sweet Spice
This condiment is awesome; then add tax. The reason why I say that is because you can make it at home, put it into a jar that has a sprinkle lid and lightly sprinkle it onto your partner and lick it off — no muss, no fuss. And just what is in sweet spice? Stuff like vanilla beans, cinnamon, ginger, dried orange peels and nutmeg.
Out of all of the condiments on this list, it's probably the most drama-free in the messiness department. Anyway, if you wanna test it out for yourself, you can cop a recipe here (feel free to add or remove ingredients to your liking).
12. Ice Cream
Something that can really turn you and your partner on is switching up drastic temperatures during oral sex and intercourse. A really amazing and delicious way to do that is with the help of ice cream. The combination of the warmth of your mouth and the coolness of the creamy dessert can make for a truly unmatched experience. Just keep in mind that ice cream melts fast, it's also sticky and it will definitely require you washing your sheets immediately after. But if you're down, it's a sex condiment that can make for an unforgettable evening. Undeniably so.
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After being a regular contributor for about four years and being (eh hem) MIA in 2022, Shellie is back penning for the platform (did you miss her? LOL).
In some ways, nothing has changed and in others, everything has. For now, she'll just say that she's working on the 20th anniversary edition of her first book, she's in school to take life coaching to another level and she's putting together a platform that supports and encourages Black men because she loves them from head to toe.
Other than that, she still works with couples, she's still a doula, she's still not on social media and her email contact (missnosipho@gmail.com) still hasn't changed (neither has her request to contact her ONLY for personal reasons; pitch to the platform if you have story ideas).
Life is a funny thing but if you stay calm, moments can come full circle and this is one of them. No doubt about it.
Chief Mom Officer: 23 Quotes From Working Moms Finding Their Balance
The truth is, Black moms create magic every single day. Whether we're juggling motherhood with a busy 9-5, a thriving business, or staying at home to run a household, no day is short of amazing when you're managing life as a mommy. This Mother's Day, xoNecole is giving flowers to CMOs (Chief Mom Officers) in business who exemplify the strength it takes to balance work with motherhood.
We've commissioned these ladies, who are pillars in their respective industries, for tidbits of advice to get you through the best and worst days of mothering. Here, they share their "secret sauce" and advice for other moms trying to find their rhythm.
Emmelie De La Cruz, Chief Strategist at One Day CMO
"My mom friends and I all laugh and agree: Motherhood is the ghettoest thing you will ever do. It's beautiful and hard all at the same time, but one day you will wake up and feel like 'I got this' and you will get the hang of it. After 4 months, I finally felt like I found my footing to keep my kid and myself alive, but it took vulnerability to take off the cape and be honest about the areas that I didn't have it all together. The healing (physically and emotionally) truly does happen in community - whatever and whoever that looks like for you."
Alizè V. Garcia, Director Of Social & Community Impact at Nike
"I would tell a new mom or a prospective mother that they must give themselves grace, understand and remember there is no right way to do this thing and have fun! When I had my daughter three and a half years ago, I was petrified! I truly had no clue about what to do and how I was going to do it. But with time, my confidence grew and I realized quickly that I have all the tools I need to be the mother I want to be."
Nikki Osei-Barrett, Publicist + Co-Founder of The Momference
"There's no balance. I'm dropping sh*t everywhere! However, my secret sauce is pursuing interests and hobbies outside of what's required of me and finding time to workout. Stronger body equals = stronger mind."
Lauren Grove, Chief Experience Architect, The Grant Access, LLC
"I try to give myself grace. That’s my mantra for this phase of motherhood…grace. I won’t be able to get everything done. To have a spotless house. To not lose my cool after an exhausting day. Those things can’t happen all of the time. But I can take a deep breath and know tomorrow is another day and my blessings are more plentiful than my pitfalls."
Rachel Nicks, Founder & CEO of Birth Queen
"You have the answers within you. Don’t compare yourself to others. Curate your life to work for you. Ask for help."
Tanisha Colon-Bibb, Founder + CEO Rebelle Agency + Rebelle Management
"I know love doesn't pay bills but when I am overwhelmed with work or client demands I take a moment to play with my baby and be reminded of the love, energy, science, and Godliness that went into his birth. I am brightened by his smile and laugh. I remember I am someone's parent and not just a work horse. That at the end of the day everything will work out for the good of my sanity and the love within my life."
Christina Brown, Founder of LoveBrownSugar & BabyBrownSugar
"Learning your rhythm as a mom takes time and can be uncomfortable when you’re in a season of overwhelm. Constantly check in with yourself and assess what’s working and what’s not. Get the help you need without feeling guilty or ashamed of needing it."
Mecca Tartt, Executive Director of Startup Runway Foundation
"I want to be the best for myself, my husband, children and company. However, the reality is you can have it all but not at the same time. My secret sauce is outsourcing and realizing that it’s okay to have help in order for me to perform at the highest level."
Jen Hayes Lee, Head Of Marketing at The Bump (The Knot Worldwide)
"My secret sauce is being direct and honest with everyone around me about what I need to be successful in all of my various "jobs". Setting boundaries is one thing, but if you're the only one who knows they exist, your partners at home and on the job can't help you maintain them. I also talk to my kids like adults and let them know why mommy needs to go to this conference or get this massage...they need to build an appreciation for my needs too!"
Whitney Gayle-Benta, Chief Music Officer JKBX
"What helps me push through each day is the motivation to continue by thinking about my son. All my efforts, though exhausting, are to create a wonderful life for him."
Ezinne Okoro, Global Chief Inclusion, Equity, & Diversity Officer at Wunderman Thompson,
"The advice I received that I’ll pass on is, you will continue to figure it out and find your rhythm as your child grows into new stages. Trust your nurturing intuition, parent on your terms, and listen to your child."
Jovian Zayne, CEO of The OnPurpose Movement
"I live by the personal mantra: 'You can’t be your best self by yourself.' My life feels more balanced when I offer the help I can give and ask for the help I need. This might mean outsourcing housecleaning for my home, or hiring additional project management support for my business."
Simona Noce Wright, Co-Founder of District Motherhued and The Momference
"Each season of motherhood (depending on age, grade, workload) requires a different rhythm. With that said, be open to learning, to change, and understand that what worked for one season may not work the other...and that's okay."
Janaye Ingram, Director of Community Partner Programs and Engagement at Airbnb
"My daughter's smile and sweet spirit help me to feel gratitude when I'm overwhelmed. I want her to see a woman who doesn't quit when things get hard."
Codie Elaine Oliver, CEO & Founder of Black Love
"I try to listen to my body and simply take a break. With 3 kids and a business with 10+ team members, I often feel overwhelmed. I remind myself that I deserve grace for everything I'm juggling, I take a walk or have a snack or even head home to see my kids, and then I get back to whatever I need to get done."
Jewel Burks Solomon, Managing Partner at Collab Capital
"Get comfortable with the word ‘no’. Be very clear about your non-negotiables and communicate them to those around you."
Julee Wilson, Executive Director at BeautyUnited and Beauty Editor-at-Large at Cosmopolitan
"Understand you can’t do it alone — and that’s ok. Relinquish the need to control everything. Create a village and lean on them."
Salwa Benyaich, Director Of Pricing and Planning at Premion
"Most days I really try to shut my computer off by 6 pm; there are always exceptions of course when it comes to big deals or larger projects but having this as a baseline allows me to be much more present with my kids. I love the fact that I can either help with homework or be the designated driver to at least one afterschool activity. Work can be draining but there is nothing more emotionally draining than when you feel as though you are missing out on moments with your kids."
Brooke Ellis, Head of Global Marketing & Product Launches at Amazon Music
My calendar, prayer, pilates class at Forma, a good playlist, and oatmilk lattes all help get me through any day.
Courtney Beauzile, Global Director of Client and Business Development at Shearman & Sterling
My husband is a partner who steps in when I just can’t. My mom and my MIL come through whenever and however I need. My kids have many uncles and aunts and they will lend an ear, go over homework, teach life lessons, be a presence or a prayer warrior depending on the day.
Robin Snipes, Chief of Staff at Meta
"Enjoy the time you have to yourself because once kids come those times will be few and far between."
Monique Bivens, CEO & Founder at Brazilian Babes LLC.
"For new moms, it is very important that you get back into a habit or routine of something you use to do before you were pregnant. Consider the actives and things that give you the most joy and make the time to do them."
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This Is Why Your Bright Under-Eye Technique Is Not Giving
If you are a fan of the bright under-eye, then you have the legendary makeup artist Kevyn Aucoin to thank. The bright under-eye is only one of the major techniques that Aucoin brought to the forefront of the makeup industry in the ‘90s. The purpose of concealing the under-eye area is to hide blemishes and discoloration, redness, dark circles, and under-eye bags. However, according to Aucoin’s techniques, its main purpose is to lift and sculpt the face adding a new level of dimension.
The bright under-eye can be difficult to achieve. These are some of the common mistakes that are holding you back from sculpted bright under eyes that are giving!
1. You are not using the correct concealer shade.
Using two concealers makes a huge difference. Start with a shade 1-2 shades lighter than your skin tone. Followed by a shade that is 3-4 times lighter and placed closer to the inner eye to do the heavy lifting and give the bright effect.
Two shades diffuse well into each other and give a cohesive result.
Jorine Dorcelus/xoNecole
Jorine Dorcelus/xoNecole
2. You are not blending enough.
Don't underestimate the power behind a complete blend-out! Blending your concealer fully is a make-or-break step for the bright under-eye look. Fully blending allows for a seamless transition between the areas of the face meant to be highlighted, and the areas meant to create depth and shadows. So take your time and make sure there are no harsh lines.
Jorine Dorcelus/xoNecole
3. You are not properly setting the under-eye area.
Set the under-eye using a loose setting powder or brightening powder. The key here is to choose a powder complementary to your skin's undertone and proper placement to prevent creasing. Focus the majority of the powder on the inner eye and defuse the remaining powder to the rest of the powder under the eye.
Jorine Dorcelus/xoNecole
Jorine Dorcelus/xoNecole
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