

Something that I used to be in the habit of doing, that I actually need to get back into, is ending the week with a bouquet of fresh flowers. There’s something about having the presence of fresh blooms around that feels uber feminine — plus, the scent is pretty divine. And, as a bonus, when the petals begin to wilt, I’m able to repurpose my bouquets and turn them into all-natural beauty treatments.
Hey, I’m not kidding. If you’ve neversteeped flower petals before, you should definitely give it a shot. Although many of them have medicinal properties that you may find to be beneficial, today I’m coming from the angle of what 12 different kinds of flowers can do for your hair and skin — whether you use them as a hair rinse, skin toner or you purchase an extract or oil version of them. Whatever you decide, I can almost guarantee you that with consistent use, you will see a real difference; the best part is, it’ll be all natural.
So, let’s get into some flowers that are beautiful to look at and are wonderful when it comes to bringing out the best in your appearance, shall we?
1. Rose
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I doubt there’s a flower that’s more popular than a rose, perhaps because it’s the classic “I love you” bloom.When it comes to your hair, the properties of a rose are pretty impressive because it contains an astringent that can remove excess build-up (if you’re looking for a natural way to clarify your locks), it has anti-inflammatory elements that can soothe an irritated scalp and it can even help to reduce frizzing.Your skin will like roses because they are loaded with antioxidants, they help to fight off free radicals, they’re a great skin moisturizer and, in rose water form, roses are a gentle and soothing make-up remover.
You can learn how to make your own rose waterhere.
2. Hibiscus
A flower that is known for being a “feminine one” is the hibiscus. It’s popular in Asia and represents things like femininity, beauty, and love.
If you’re currently on a mission to get your hair as healthy as possible, this flower not only helps to keep your tresses hydrated, it can help to give them thickness and more volume too. As if that’s not impressive enough, hibiscus can reduce dandruff, decrease hair shedding, and even help to prevent split ends. If slowing down the signs of aging is what you’re after, the hibiscus flower has you covered in that department as well, mostly because it helps to prevent collagen from breaking down in your skin, which ends up bringing more elasticity to it.
In fact, hibiscus is so effective in that department that it’s earned the nickname “natural Botox.” Some other things worth noting about this flower are it’s a gentle exfoliant, it helps to reduce skin inflammation and it can aid in preventing oxidative stress from wreaking havoc on your skin.
A recipe to make a face and neck cream with hibiscus in it is locatedhere.
3. Sunflower
Sunflowers are full of vitamin E, oleic acid, and antioxidants. In oil form,they can help to reduce hair breakage, condition your hair, and soothe your scalp.Something else that sunflower oil can do is reduce some of the irritation that is associated with eczema, as well as treat acne since it can help to remove bacteria from your skin without clogging up your pores in the process.
4. Chrysanthemum
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Some of my favorite flowers to see during the fall (even though many bloom as soon aslate July or early August) are chrysanthemums. Your hair likes them because they have properties thatreduce hair loss and also encourage hair growth.As a tea, the antioxidants andanti-inflammatories in chrysanthemums can decrease stress levels, which can ultimately help to prevent breakouts and slow down the signs of aging skin.
5. Arnica
If you’re not familiar with what an arnica bloom is, it looks a lot like a daisy — only it’s completely yellow. Although it’s probablybest known as a pain reliever, it doescontain properties that help to reduce dandruff, reduce puffiness (especially underneath your eyes), and smooth out the appearance of wrinkles so thatyour skin is able to have a youthful and naturally radiant glow.
6. Moringa
In oil form, I’ve shouted out the moringa flower before (check out “Uncommon (But Totally Natural) Things That Are Great For Hair Growth”). Since it’s a great source of vitamins A and E as well as zinc, if you want to strengthen your strands so that you can retain more length, it’s a good idea to apply moringa oil at least a couple of times a week (especially to your ends).
Speaking of your ends, although there really is nothing that can “repair split ends” (it really is best to just cut them and then really nurture your remaining ends moving forward), moringa oil does have a way ofhydrating your hair and smoothing your cuticles, so that split ends are less of an issue. If you have dry skin, moringa oil can help toseal in moisture for longer periods of time. It also has a reputation forsoftening the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles as well.
7. Passion Flower
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Honestly, since one of the best things that you could ever do for your hair and skin is consistently get a good night’s rest, if you like to soak in the tub before bedtime,add some passion flower petals to the water; they will help to decrease anxiety and ultimately improve your quality of sleep (just for the record, if you’re perimenopausal, they can help with hot flashes too). Beauty-wise, passion flowers can help to restore damaged hair and hydrate and soothe your skin.
Some recipes for how to make an all-natural body wash and hair serum are locatedhere.
8. Jasmine
Just as a random FYI, one of the sexiest scents that you can ever wear is jasmine. It’s sweet, it’s fruity, and it’s…decadently sensual; that’s why it’s known as an aphrodisiac. Yourhair will adore jasmine because it has antimicrobial and antiseptic properties that help tobring relief to dandruff as well as being able to strengthen your hair over time.Your skin will enjoy it, too, because it both tones and softens it (yep, you can definitely use jasmine as an all-natural skin toner).
9. Calendula
Last fall, a tea that I shouted out that’s great for your hair is calendula tea (check out “10 Teas That Are Great For The Fall Season — As Far As Hair Growth Is Concerned”). Yeah, if you’re looking for something that will give your curls more definition (because it reduces frizz), calendula is a sweet go-to. Your skin will also like this particular flower thanks to its antifungal, anti-inflammatory, and antibacterial properties thatall work together to treat acne, protect your skin from damaging UV rays, and reduce the symptoms that are associated with eczema.
10. Tulip
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My all-time favorite flower is the tulip. I’m not 100 percent sure why, although I once read that it represents a “perfect deep love,” which is pretty cool. Anyway, because I enjoy them so much, I have done some research on them, and yep — they come withsome hair and skin benefits , too. Since tulips are considered to be a humectant and humectants pull water from the air into your hair and skin, if you’re looking for a natural way to remain moisturized, that’s one reason to try them out. Also, tulips contain the type of amino acids that help to build collagen in your skin; this means they are a bloom that can help to fight the skin's aging. Dope.
11. Lotus
Lotus flowers represent things like rebirth, strength, and grace — all are the kinds of words that seem very fitting when you’re trying to maintain natural beauty. That said, because lotus flowers are full of antioxidants that help to decrease oxidative stress, that’s good to know because that’s the type of stress that accelerates the graying process of your hair and is tied to certain forms of alopecia. Since lotus flowers contain anti-inflammatory properties, too, this is another bloom that’s effective at naturally treating breakouts.
12. Honeysuckle
When I was a little girl, something that I liked to do was find honeysuckles and literally suck on them. Although, in hindsight, I definitely should’ve washed those suckers off (chile), I do recall that they did have a subtle sweetness to them. If you have similar memories, did you know that honeysuckle containsboth health and beauty benefits? When it comes to your hair specifically, the properties in this flower can help to add moisture to your hair and prevent your locks from becoming brittle or developing split ends. Skin-wise, the antioxidants and anti-inflammatory properties in them can bring relief if you’ve got eczema or psoriasis.
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A study once revealed that people who keep fresh flowers in their homes are not only more compassionate, they are less anxious and are happier, too. So, at some point this week (if you haven’t already), treat yourself by stopping by, shoot somewhere, and copping yourself a bouquet. Use the blooms for your mental health first — then upcycle them for beauty reasons. True perfection and the ultimate investment, if you ask me.
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Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
Watch the full episode below:
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
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6 Tabletop Sex Positions That'll Unlock You & Bae's Most Primal Desires
Something I will never tire of is finding new ways to bring new layers to intimacy. A wall you use as momentum, a bathroom sink to help you keep your balance as he worships you on his knees, a shower that is usually for cleansing but evolves into a sacred ritual of shared intimacy.
My favorite kind of sex is the kind of sex that prioritizes pleasure and connection. So, technically and thankfully, I can say most of my sex life has been quite pleasurable throughout the years. But the memorable encounters for sure take the cake. One such encounter actually took place on a kitchen counter, and with it unleashed inhibitions in ways I never anticipated while unlocking levels to top-tier sex. And that, that involved a kitchen counter.
Why Kitchen Counter Sex Just Hits Different
What is it about having your hips pressed into the edge of a kitchen counter that lets out something so primal in you? The cool-to-the-touch feel of the countertop against exposed skin as you rise to meet him again and again. The urgency in every movement. The playfulness of repurposing an everyday space for something far more erotic. If you’re looking to bring that energy into your own sex life, keep reading for positions and tips to explore.
1. The Bounce House
They don’t call it Bounce House for nothing. In this position, the penetrating partner lies flat on their back on a sturdy table or counter while the receiving partner straddles them, knees bent and facing away. With their hands gripping the edge of the surface for support, the receiving partner slides or bounces at their own pace, owning the rhythm, the motion, and the view.
According to sex therapist Michael Aaron, Ph.D., who spoke with Women’s Health, the receiving partner placing their legs between their partner’s creates a tighter sensation, while staying fully astride allows for more bounce and range of motion. Either way, this one puts the receiver in full control, and you know we love a good woman on top position. Pleasure and power? Say less.
2. The Bicycle
Well, you know what they say about riding a bike. In the case of this table top position, it's the receiving partner who is the rider...but not in the way you think. While lying back on a sturdy surface or a table, the receiver will bring their knees toward their chest, bending them as if in a cycling motion. The penetrating partner stands at the edge of the surface, grabbing the receiver's ankles, and guides themselves inside, slowly so as to savor the moment. This angle puts everything on display for the penetrating partner while allowing for deep, connected thrusting for the receiver.
To take things up a notch , the receiving partner can touch themselves or flex their thighs to control the depth or the rhythm. Because, who says only one person gets to have control?
3. Counter Offer
How could we be at the table and not use it to eat? Enter: Counter Offer. In this oral-focused sex position, the receiving partner perches on the edge of a counter or table, lying back or sitting upright with legs parted or bent for comfort. The penetrating partner kneels or stands between their thighs, depending on the setup and the kind of attention they’re ready to give. No doubt, this one’s all about access and intention.
With the vulva front and center, the height makes it easier to maintain eye contact, use hands freely for things like breast play or incorporating toys, and take their time with every moan-inducing taste. And that’s on five, six, seven, ATE.
4. Standing Doggy
Standing Doggy is what happens when a classic like doggy style gets an upgrade. Instead of being on all fours on a bed, the receiving partner bends over a hard surface like a table or counter, keeping their hips aligned at its edge. The penetrating partner stands behind and enters from the back, using the angle to go deeper and create a strong, steady rhythm. This one offers maximum control and visual appeal, especially if the penetrating partner reaches around for a little extra clitoral stimulation throughout thrusting.
This angle can get intense quickly, so bonus points if the receiving partner engages their pelvic floor muscles or shifts their weight to adjust how the pressure hits, especially if your goal is to hit that G-spot sweet spot.
5. Top Shelf
Men's Healthcalls this one "Yourself on the Shelf," but we like to call it "Top Shelf" because it's giving full view, full grip, and climax potential that's hard to top. The receiving partner sits on the edge of a sturdy table or counter while the penetrating partner stands in front of them and slowly slides in, thrusting while keeping them in position. From there, legs can wrap around their waist, arms can encircle their back, and the closeness at peak ecstasy? Chef's kiss.
If you have the core strength, add lifting to the menu for the final strokes leading to orgasm. Otherwise, allow the surface to the heavy lifting and enjoy the pleasure.
6. The Thumper
What better way to remind yourself that you're both the snack and the entrée than with a little tableside service courtesy of The Thumper? This position has the receiving partner kneeling on a sturdy table or counter (keyword: sturdy), hands gripping the edge or braced in front for support. The penetrating partner can then either kneel behind them (if there's room for two), or stay anchored on the ground with both feet planted on the floor (similar to the previously mentioned Standing Doggy). It all depends on the mood.
Kneeling on the table offers just the right amount of leverage for deep, steady strokes. The receiving partner can play with tightness by either keeping their knees closer together for a snug grip, or open their knees wider to invite more access, depth, and stretch. The Thumper is versatile that way, and the most important thing? The receiver gets to be the main course. Yum.
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