While we solemnly vow to get the bag by any means necessary (hustle, save, bargain, invest, and so on), a lot of other areas in your life can suffer in the process. In fact, if you're really after the bag, you'll know that getting money sometimes means adding the actual bag we've been coveting to a wishlist instead of to our shopping cart.
Unfortunately for many of us, that goes double to our routine Sephora hauls, hair appointments, and nail fill-ins. Trust me, playing the "Which One Can You Live Without?" game is only fun when it's hypothetical. Nonetheless, that's the big question that requires the big girl panties when being realistic about your money goals at times.
Although it might not seem like anything short of being a responsible adult, it actually is for a lot of us. I mean, I'd be lying if I didn't say that the way we carry ourselves has a great impact on our esteem, and hate it or love it, these luxuries (or what I prefer to see as "self-care habits") have the ability to make or break us if they aren't consistently taken care of -- ultimately leaving us feeling as though we're not our best selves.
But if there's one thing I've learned since joining the money budgeting/financial support group, "The Broke Black Girl," founded by Dasha Kennedy, it's that getting the bag doesn't have to mean sacrificing your beautification process... Not completely. And certainly not with a little creativity and resourcefulness.
That said, I'd like to believe that these 12 alternatives won't feel as sacrificial, allowing us to tend to our business with all our confidence intact to go out and get money. Click through the gallery below!
1.Prime Nails
pink, red, and white nail polish bottlesPhoto by Element5 Digital on UnsplashI'm sure you've heard time and time again to do your own nails instead of going to the salon. However, for those of us who prefer acrylics, it can be difficult or limiting trying to achieve that look at home. Difficult because the stick on nails that are typically recommended don't hold, and limiting because the colors and designs are minimal depending on your preferences.
However, through BBG, I unburied this hidden treasure--$8 press on nails that come in fabulous shapes (stiletto, ballerina, and coffin)! The ladies of BBG recommend taping the nails to popsicle sticks to paint them and then gluing them on.
2.Makeup Mashup
Some of my most crushing moments have been those when my makeup self-destructs, mostly because it typically happens when I'm working to achieve a certain look. That time my Ruby Woo decided to fall off as if it were suffering from gangrene; or when I struggled to get the lid of my eyeshadow open and instead it fell to the ground, instantly shattering (and still unopened, by the way) -- soul crushing. In the moment of panic, I thoughtlessly tossed these products out but little did I know there were alternatives. Don't be like me, instead, take your broken makeup and repurpose them.
You can do so with broken lipstick by placing a chunk of the lipstick in a spoon, and hovering it over a lit candle. Afterwards, you can store it in a lip gloss container. If you have multiple broken sticks and are in the mood for something new, try a mashup by mixing the colors.
Have any crumbled eye shadows? You can create a lip gloss by adding a little Vaseline to the mix. Simply, add the two ingredients into a dish so that you can mix it in and then transfer to a gloss container. You can use this hack when you're craving a new color as well by scaping a little shadow off of the palette.
3.Off The Scent
clear glass perfume bottle on brown wooden tablePhoto by deanna alys on UnsplashIt's hard to find a perfume that isn't overkill and even more difficult to skimp on your scent once you have finally found one that compliments your fly. But perfume is not cheap, which is why I have personally stuck with the nice fragrance of whatever bar soap I'm in the mood for that week.
However, for those of you not feeling my admission of basic-ness and believe it's simply not an option, I have a sweet-smelling hack for you. Once you're running dangerously low on your favorite perfume, grab a bottle of unscented lotion and dump the rest in there to make it last longer. That way when you moisturize, you take your a bit of your signature scent with you.
4.Beauty School Bargain
Go to your local cosmetology school for discounted salon services. The caveat is that your service will be conducted by a trained student. The idea of being a guinea pig may seem less than appealing if you're used to professionals, so maybe start by just walking in and getting a feel for the employees before allowing them to tamper with the hair that sits on your crown. If you're not sure what beauty school schools are in your community, Empire Beauty School covers a lot of territory in the United States.
5.Make Room For The New
one cowboy hat and five jackets hanged on clothes rackPhoto by Amanda Vick on UnsplashIf you absolutely have your heart set on being able to go shopping (maybe it's your therapy), then I would suggest clearing out the old to make room in your budget and closet for the new. You can do this by selling clothes you want to get rid of.
If you haven't heard by now, you can always opt to sell your gently used and fashionably relevant clothes on sites such as Poshmark, or going into stores such as Plato's Closet, or Buffalo Exchange. Use the money you make here as your shopping budget and treat yourself.
6.Spring To Life
There are ways to create a serene element in your home pedicure that can make it more enjoyable than a regular schemegular experience at your salon. Try soaking your feet in a citrus milk bath with all the fixings (lemon and orange zest and slice, mint sprig, etc) and Epsom salt for a different type of experience. If citrus is not your thing, then Pinterest has a world full of milk baths and all you really need is your base -- a box of powdered whole milk and any essential oil you'd like. Furthermore, consider the other elements you enjoy about having your pedicure done in the shop (hot towels, anyone?) and look to Pinterest to help you recreate that. Voila, a spa day from the comforts of your home.
7.On Sleek
woman standing near white wallPhoto by Leighann Blackwood on UnsplashThe price you pay to have natural hair gets pricey at times -- natural stylist, natural products, etcetera, etcetera. And still, you can't be positive that what you're putting in your head is all that good for it. You can cut down on the steep price of beauty by trying out a recipe for DIY flaxseed gel/edge control. YouTuber, The Test Diva delivers a basic recipe for beginners that yields a Gorilla Glue texture. The resources and tutorials are endless.
8.Pearly Whites
In the age of Instagram, we're all double checking up on our dental hygiene. The bigger picture is ensuring that our pictures aren't standing out because of our stained teeth, but realistically teeth whiteners can be expensive. No worries though, you can hack it with a little hydrogen peroxide and baking soda. Colgate recommends using less baking soda than peroxide, mixing up two tablespoons of peroxide and one tablespoon of baking soda to achieve a paste-like texture.
9.Sugar, Sugar
person holding white and gray concrete wallPhoto by The Creative Exchange on UnsplashAfter #NoShaveNovember, I pretty much keep the ball rolling and don't shave anything that isn't visible until it's absolutely necessary. Basically when wearing long sleeves outside becomes unbearable. Furthermore, razors are a damn luxury and most days, I'd prefer spending the money on a meal. And truthfully, if you've had any taste of the wax life (also hard on your coin), you know how hard it can be to go back to shaving after venturing out.
However, with ingredients from your kitchen pantry, you can create your own sugar wax to make staying silky smooth easier than ever. You will need fabric strips, 1 cup sugar, 1/4 cup lemon juice, and 1/4 cup water for a soft wax or two cups of sugar if you prefer hard wax. Lastly, you'll need YouTuber Katrinosity to give you the play-by-play (be sure to see her Q&A in the description). Oh and don't forget to breathe.
10. Silky Smooth
There's nothing cute about dead skin, but it certainly doesn't cease to exist because of its faux pas nature. Keep it fresh and make an exfoliator with a little lemon juice, olive oil, honey, and brown sugar or white granulated sugar. Stir and add more or less of the desired ingredients until you achieve the desired exfoliating texture. Exfoliating also helps prevent ingrown hairs after shaving or waxing.
11.Lip Service
selective focus photography of a brown powderPhoto by Luísa Schetinger on UnsplashIt's been said that peppermint oil can naturally plump your lips, but you may also want to try mixing up this little concoction:
- ⅓ teaspoon ginger powder
- ½ teaspoon cayenne pepper
- ⅓ teaspoon cinnamon
- 1 drop peppermint oil
- 1 teaspoon of vitamin oil
Rub the mixture into your lips for 30 seconds and leave it on for 3-5 minutes for the best results.
12. Puff Be Gone
As a child, I always wondered what was relaxing about wearing cucumbers over your eyes, now I realize it has nothing at all to do with relaxation and everything to do with losing those puffy bags under your eyes that are proof that you're anything but relaxed (unfortunately many of us busy girls are low on sleep).
Another solution to getting rid of these bags are actual bags -- well caffeinated green tea bags, specifically. You can do this by steeping two tea bags in warm water for no longer than five minutes, placing the bags on a plate, and refrigerating them for 20 minutes. Once you remove the cool bags from the fridge, cut off the tags, squeeze out excess water, and place on your eyes for 15 minutes.
Want more stories like this? Check out these xoNecole related reads:
I Tried 9 Budget-Friendly Drugstore Mascaras And Here's My Review
6 Life Hacks To Feel Like Money While You Save It
5 Drugstore Cleansers Your Skin Will Love You For
I Tried 10 Budget-Friendly Drugstore Lipsticks And Here's My Review
Featured image by The Creative Exchange on Unsplash
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RELATED
So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
It’s not like it has to be a bad thing. In fact, studies say that somewhere around 15 percent of engaged couples actually met through a friend. All I’m saying is, before you entertain someone’s “I’ve got someone I want you to meet” invitation, it would benefit you to interview them first — for the sake of all parties involved.
The questions that I recommend asking? The following six are what I think can get everyone on the same page, so that there is more pleasure than regret from the hook-up attempt.
1. Why Are They So Invested?
GiphyTwo things that I recently watched over again are the series Survivor’s Remorse (the writing is so damn good) and a movie called Trapped in Temptation (both are currently on Tubi). Something that both of them made me think about is the fact that motive reveals a lot when it comes to why people say and do the things that they do.
When it comes to the movie, specifically, without giving the film away — let me just say that, if you are in a relationship, be really careful about listening to individuals who try to talk you out of maintaining it. More times than not, the motive is shady as hell. And honestly, sometimes people who are close to obsessed with you being in one deserve a bit of side-eye too.
Now, if it’s someone who loves all things love, they are in love and they want you to experience something similar — that’s sweet. Just make sure that they are approaching the set up from a healthy space. What I mean by that is they don’t see singleness as some sort of relational handicap or they aren’t trying to override what you want for your life as if they somehow know better (there are so many ways to be a control freak, y’all).
Hmph. Now that I think about it — make sure that the set-up crew isn’t trying to use you to “save” some male friend or relative of theirs. I say that because I once knew a mother whose son had — count ‘em — 10 kids and she was FOREVER trying to get me to date him. Girl, that wasn’t for me. She was looking for a Holy Ghost Jr. for that child of hers. I’ll pass. HARD PASS.
Bottom line with this one — if someone wants to set you up with someone else, the first thing to ask is why? Make sure to really listen to what their answer is. Then pay attention to if your mind, body and spirit are at peace with their answer(s).
2. Do They Know What You Want?
GiphyI don’t know about y’all, but the people (and let’s be honest, by far, it’s usually women) who have tried to set me up with someone? They didn’t even know what my preferences or type was. Hell, they didn’t even know my thoughts or timeline as it relates to being in a serious relationship were either. And what that boils down to is they were trying to hook me up based on their agenda, not mine — and that usually meant that the guys who they came up with? Yeah…I was good on them. LOL.
Yeah, if someone wants to hook you up, you definitely should ask them if they know what you are looking for in a guy when it comes to his looks, personality, passions, spirituality, relational desires and goals, location, etc. Because, indeed, what is the point in going out with someone who is fine as hell and yet, you want kids and he doesn’t (or vice versa) or who has a great personality yet he isn’t even in the same ballpark of your spiritual beliefs?
If your friend really wants to help you out, valuing your time should come with that — and that means bringing someone into your life who complements your lifestyle. No wiggle room here.
3. Are They Aware of Your Deal-Breakers?
GiphyLast year, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “Should Bad Sex Actually Be A Relationship Deal-Breaker?” The thing that I think needs to go on record about deal-breakers is they aren’t exactly standards that you have. No, a deal-breaker is something that can’t be worked out even after trying to negotiate or compromise. When it comes to relationships, a deal-breaker might be how long two people should date before becoming exclusive or getting engaged. Another deal-breaker might be if being religious is more important than being spiritual and how that manifests itself (church or no church, etc.). And yes, another deal-breaker may be what each other’s sexual needs and expectations are.
When someone is setting you up, it is imperative that they know about your standards. For instance, for me, I am not interested in dating a divorced person, pretty much ever (I Corinthians 7:10-11). I’ve had friends who have tried to hook me up with that demographic before and it has always been a moot effort. The fact that some of them have gotten frustrated with my convictions has absolutely nothing to do with me. Some have tried to get me to compromise my deal-breakers too — like a long-distance relationship. Is it a firm “naw”? No. However, it’s not really something that I am interested in, so why not just…recommend someone local?
Yeah, if someone thinks that they know you well enough to hook you up, they absolutely should be well-versed in what your deal-breakers are before they do. And if they’ve never asked, all they are doing is assuming — and we know what that typically means. LOL.
4. What Is Their Track Record?
GiphyIt’s kind of wild that we now live in a time when more couples meet online than they do through “old-fashioned ways” like via their friends (although some reports say that Gen Z is getting back to that) — and yet, here we are. Still, if you are willing to let someone play pseudo matchmaker in your life, you are well within your rights to inquire about their track record in that department. Have they hooked others up, successfully, before? Has any of their “Cupid work” caused both people to get exactly what they wanted out of the situation? If/when things went awry, why was that?
I know someone who is constantly trying to hook people up. Thing is, maybe 10-15 percent (no joke) of their efforts have proven to be positive and fruitful — and we’re talking about close to close to two decades of them doing it. Listen, time is too precious to be out here doing stuff ONLY to please other people. That said, if someone wants you to devote some time to one of their grand ideas, you are well within your rights to ask about their past and current success score when it comes to it.
5. Can They Keep Their Own Feelings Out of It?
GiphyWanna know if someone who is offering to do something for you is actually doing it more for themselves? If they try to make it be about them when things don’t go the way they would like, that is a dead ringer. An example? They post a message about you on social media and then question you about why you didn’t do the same thing in return. Another example? They do something for you and then throw it in your face during an argument. Still another example? They set you up with someone, it doesn’t work out, and suddenly you’ve put them in a weird spot. No dear — you put your own self in that position by trying to hook two people up in the first place.
I promise you, it will spare everyone unnecessary energy spent (or even drama experienced) if, before you agree to be hooked up, you get the matchmaker on record stating that they will keep their emotions out of it as much as possible. MEANING — they will do the introductions and then let the chips fall where they may. If they can’t do this, my two cents (save it or spend it) would be to decline the offer. Because all you need is someone texting you about why you haven’t called their cousin back or having an attitude with you when you break up with some guy at their church who they thought was the perfect catch (P.S. These aren’t hypothetical examples — LOL).
6. Will They Respect Your Boundaries? Start to Finish?
GiphyYeah, this final one is a biggie. Just because someone sets you up with another person, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily mean that they should have the right to the details of the dynamic. I don’t care if it’s the first date or the 10th date. I don’t care if you decide to just be sex buddies or to have a full-blown relationship. I don’t care if you stay together or break-up — it’s your relationship which makes it your business. Whatever you share is privileged data.
Yeah, I would say that probably the most challenging thing about being hooked up by someone you know is they have a tendency to think that they are a part of the relationship too — and that is a lie. If things go well beyond a couple of dates, you and the guy should discuss what you will both share with the person who introduced you and then agree to stick to that boundary, no matter what. It’s a great way to protect the dynamic, to keep “outside voices” from influencing the growth and to navigate how you want to move, moving forward.
Someone who hooked you up for the right reasons and knows how to honor limits? They will understand. Will they ask questions? Absolutely. Will they pry? Nah.
___
Should you sit and let someone hook you up? I mean, you never know how your blessing will come. Just make sure that they are prepared for you to do some digging into their mindset before they start sweetly meddling into your love life.
It’s only fair. Hell, and right. LOL.
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Featured image by PeopleImages/Shutterstock