While we solemnly vow to get the bag by any means necessary (hustle, save, bargain, invest, and so on), a lot of other areas in your life can suffer in the process. In fact, if you're really after the bag, you'll know that getting money sometimes means adding the actual bag we've been coveting to a wishlist instead of to our shopping cart.
Unfortunately for many of us, that goes double to our routine Sephora hauls, hair appointments, and nail fill-ins. Trust me, playing the "Which One Can You Live Without?" game is only fun when it's hypothetical. Nonetheless, that's the big question that requires the big girl panties when being realistic about your money goals at times.
Although it might not seem like anything short of being a responsible adult, it actually is for a lot of us. I mean, I'd be lying if I didn't say that the way we carry ourselves has a great impact on our esteem, and hate it or love it, these luxuries (or what I prefer to see as "self-care habits") have the ability to make or break us if they aren't consistently taken care of -- ultimately leaving us feeling as though we're not our best selves.
But if there's one thing I've learned since joining the money budgeting/financial support group, "The Broke Black Girl," founded by Dasha Kennedy, it's that getting the bag doesn't have to mean sacrificing your beautification process... Not completely. And certainly not with a little creativity and resourcefulness.
That said, I'd like to believe that these 12 alternatives won't feel as sacrificial, allowing us to tend to our business with all our confidence intact to go out and get money. Click through the gallery below!
1.Prime Nails
pink, red, and white nail polish bottlesPhoto by Element5 Digital on UnsplashI'm sure you've heard time and time again to do your own nails instead of going to the salon. However, for those of us who prefer acrylics, it can be difficult or limiting trying to achieve that look at home. Difficult because the stick on nails that are typically recommended don't hold, and limiting because the colors and designs are minimal depending on your preferences.
However, through BBG, I unburied this hidden treasure--$8 press on nails that come in fabulous shapes (stiletto, ballerina, and coffin)! The ladies of BBG recommend taping the nails to popsicle sticks to paint them and then gluing them on.
2.Makeup Mashup
Some of my most crushing moments have been those when my makeup self-destructs, mostly because it typically happens when I'm working to achieve a certain look. That time my Ruby Woo decided to fall off as if it were suffering from gangrene; or when I struggled to get the lid of my eyeshadow open and instead it fell to the ground, instantly shattering (and still unopened, by the way) -- soul crushing. In the moment of panic, I thoughtlessly tossed these products out but little did I know there were alternatives. Don't be like me, instead, take your broken makeup and repurpose them.
You can do so with broken lipstick by placing a chunk of the lipstick in a spoon, and hovering it over a lit candle. Afterwards, you can store it in a lip gloss container. If you have multiple broken sticks and are in the mood for something new, try a mashup by mixing the colors.
Have any crumbled eye shadows? You can create a lip gloss by adding a little Vaseline to the mix. Simply, add the two ingredients into a dish so that you can mix it in and then transfer to a gloss container. You can use this hack when you're craving a new color as well by scaping a little shadow off of the palette.
3.Off The Scent
clear glass perfume bottle on brown wooden tablePhoto by deanna alys on UnsplashIt's hard to find a perfume that isn't overkill and even more difficult to skimp on your scent once you have finally found one that compliments your fly. But perfume is not cheap, which is why I have personally stuck with the nice fragrance of whatever bar soap I'm in the mood for that week.
However, for those of you not feeling my admission of basic-ness and believe it's simply not an option, I have a sweet-smelling hack for you. Once you're running dangerously low on your favorite perfume, grab a bottle of unscented lotion and dump the rest in there to make it last longer. That way when you moisturize, you take your a bit of your signature scent with you.
4.Beauty School Bargain
Go to your local cosmetology school for discounted salon services. The caveat is that your service will be conducted by a trained student. The idea of being a guinea pig may seem less than appealing if you're used to professionals, so maybe start by just walking in and getting a feel for the employees before allowing them to tamper with the hair that sits on your crown. If you're not sure what beauty school schools are in your community, Empire Beauty School covers a lot of territory in the United States.
5.Make Room For The New
one cowboy hat and five jackets hanged on clothes rackPhoto by Amanda Vick on UnsplashIf you absolutely have your heart set on being able to go shopping (maybe it's your therapy), then I would suggest clearing out the old to make room in your budget and closet for the new. You can do this by selling clothes you want to get rid of.
If you haven't heard by now, you can always opt to sell your gently used and fashionably relevant clothes on sites such as Poshmark, or going into stores such as Plato's Closet, or Buffalo Exchange. Use the money you make here as your shopping budget and treat yourself.
6.Spring To Life
There are ways to create a serene element in your home pedicure that can make it more enjoyable than a regular schemegular experience at your salon. Try soaking your feet in a citrus milk bath with all the fixings (lemon and orange zest and slice, mint sprig, etc) and Epsom salt for a different type of experience. If citrus is not your thing, then Pinterest has a world full of milk baths and all you really need is your base -- a box of powdered whole milk and any essential oil you'd like. Furthermore, consider the other elements you enjoy about having your pedicure done in the shop (hot towels, anyone?) and look to Pinterest to help you recreate that. Voila, a spa day from the comforts of your home.
7.On Sleek
woman standing near white wallPhoto by Leighann Blackwood on UnsplashThe price you pay to have natural hair gets pricey at times -- natural stylist, natural products, etcetera, etcetera. And still, you can't be positive that what you're putting in your head is all that good for it. You can cut down on the steep price of beauty by trying out a recipe for DIY flaxseed gel/edge control. YouTuber, The Test Diva delivers a basic recipe for beginners that yields a Gorilla Glue texture. The resources and tutorials are endless.
8.Pearly Whites
In the age of Instagram, we're all double checking up on our dental hygiene. The bigger picture is ensuring that our pictures aren't standing out because of our stained teeth, but realistically teeth whiteners can be expensive. No worries though, you can hack it with a little hydrogen peroxide and baking soda. Colgate recommends using less baking soda than peroxide, mixing up two tablespoons of peroxide and one tablespoon of baking soda to achieve a paste-like texture.
9.Sugar, Sugar
person holding white and gray concrete wallPhoto by The Creative Exchange on UnsplashAfter #NoShaveNovember, I pretty much keep the ball rolling and don't shave anything that isn't visible until it's absolutely necessary. Basically when wearing long sleeves outside becomes unbearable. Furthermore, razors are a damn luxury and most days, I'd prefer spending the money on a meal. And truthfully, if you've had any taste of the wax life (also hard on your coin), you know how hard it can be to go back to shaving after venturing out.
However, with ingredients from your kitchen pantry, you can create your own sugar wax to make staying silky smooth easier than ever. You will need fabric strips, 1 cup sugar, 1/4 cup lemon juice, and 1/4 cup water for a soft wax or two cups of sugar if you prefer hard wax. Lastly, you'll need YouTuber Katrinosity to give you the play-by-play (be sure to see her Q&A in the description). Oh and don't forget to breathe.
10. Silky Smooth
There's nothing cute about dead skin, but it certainly doesn't cease to exist because of its faux pas nature. Keep it fresh and make an exfoliator with a little lemon juice, olive oil, honey, and brown sugar or white granulated sugar. Stir and add more or less of the desired ingredients until you achieve the desired exfoliating texture. Exfoliating also helps prevent ingrown hairs after shaving or waxing.
11.Lip Service
selective focus photography of a brown powderPhoto by Luísa Schetinger on UnsplashIt's been said that peppermint oil can naturally plump your lips, but you may also want to try mixing up this little concoction:
- ⅓ teaspoon ginger powder
- ½ teaspoon cayenne pepper
- ⅓ teaspoon cinnamon
- 1 drop peppermint oil
- 1 teaspoon of vitamin oil
Rub the mixture into your lips for 30 seconds and leave it on for 3-5 minutes for the best results.
12. Puff Be Gone
As a child, I always wondered what was relaxing about wearing cucumbers over your eyes, now I realize it has nothing at all to do with relaxation and everything to do with losing those puffy bags under your eyes that are proof that you're anything but relaxed (unfortunately many of us busy girls are low on sleep).
Another solution to getting rid of these bags are actual bags -- well caffeinated green tea bags, specifically. You can do this by steeping two tea bags in warm water for no longer than five minutes, placing the bags on a plate, and refrigerating them for 20 minutes. Once you remove the cool bags from the fridge, cut off the tags, squeeze out excess water, and place on your eyes for 15 minutes.
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I Tried 10 Budget-Friendly Drugstore Lipsticks And Here's My Review
Featured image by The Creative Exchange on Unsplash
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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