Something that is so dope about you, our readers, is that you're all so different. So many different perspectives, insights and opinions regularly hop onto our platform to help spice things up. We dig that. We really do. We also like the moments when everyone is on the same page; like when it comes to red wine. Chile, if there's one thing that at least 95.6 percent of you seem to have in your possession, it's a bottle of that.
As I was thinking about how I could finesse that reality into a "drink and be merry" piece for the holiday season, I happened upon a few articles that discussed the benefits of consuming alcoholic drinks that are gluten-free. Gluten-free alcohol? I never really thought about that before. And of course, being the inquisitive researcher that I am, the notion sent me down the rabbit hole of looking for other health benefits that come from having a drink or two—or few.
If stopping by your local liquor store is most definitely on your to-do list during the last leg of the holiday season, here are some of the alcoholic drinks that will do more than keep you toasty and get you tipsy. These picks are actually pretty damn good for you, too. But first, let's address a few health-related questions you might have had about alcohol but never got around to getting answers to.
What Kind of Alcohol Is Gluten-Free?
Let's start with this: "Gluten-free" is a popular term in the health-food community. If you've ever wondered exactly what gluten is, it's basically the two proteins—prolamins and glutelins—that give cereal grains (especially wheat) its elastic texture. Consuming it is definitely a no-no for people who have celiac disease, however, if you've been eating things such as cereal grains, soy sauce, chicken broth, condiments, or those veggie burgers that everyone's been raving about, and you immediately feel icky afterwards, you should probably take an allergy test. You may be allergic to gluten.
And what about liquors that contain gluten? Beer is a big one, however, if you decide to look for the kind of alcoholic drinks that are made from pure distilled liquor, you should be all good. (Yes, even when it comes to beer.) Alcoholic drinks that are gluten-free after distillation include whiskey, tequila, bourbon, gin, vodka, scotch, and brandy.
What Are the Health “Pros” of Consuming Alcohol?
When it comes to consuming alcohol, I'm pretty sure you already know that moderation is key. If you're careful about how much you toss back, having a drink can actually prove to be pretty beneficial on the health tip. Beer is rich in B vitamins, and both beer and wine can lower your risk of getting kidney stones. Hard apple cider is packed with antioxidants. Moderate consumption of alcohol overall can lower your risk of heart disease, stroke, even diabetes.
The key is to have no more than a couple of glasses of your favorite drink a week (unless it's red wine; you can have a glass of that daily) and to try and drink the higher quality stuff as often as possible. If you stick to those two rules (and don't drive right after consuming alcohol, of course), you should be able to enjoy your favorite liquor without any worry or guilt.
What Are the Health “Cons” of Consuming Alcohol?
Almost anything in life that has its pros also has its cons. As far as the downside of alcohol goes, a read that you might want to check out is "Here's What Happens to Your Brain When You Drink Alcohol". It mentions effects from a spike in dopamine levels and potential memory loss to insomnia and brain-cell deterioration. As for us women, we've got to be even more cautious because our bodies do not naturally produce what is known as the alcohol dehydrogenase enzyme, an enzyme that helps to break down alcohol when it hits our stomach and liver.
Knowing all of this won't stop me from consuming alcohol from time to time. What it will do is prevent a sista from becoming a lush. Again, alcohol isn't the devil by any stretch, but it can become your worst enemy if you're not responsible with your drinking.
So, Just What Are the Healthiest Alcoholic Drinks?
Red Wine
Red wine is good for you on so many different levels. It's got a ton of antioxidants to keep your immune system in good condition, silicon to help increase bone density, and properties to keep cancer cells at bay. The resveratrol that's in red wine also triggers an anti-aging protein in your system that can help to keep you looking younger for longer while also increasing your longevity in the process. Some other wonderful benefits when it comes to red wine consumption is it reduces stress, helps ward off depression, and can remove bacteria-causing tooth decay. It's also been shown to be a libido booster in women, which is always a big benefit.
Vodka
The fermented grains in vodka actually make it a disinfectant and antitoxin drink that is as great on your body as it is inside of it. For example, if you dab a cotton ball into vodka and put it on your pimples, it can kill the bacteria and reduce inflammation. If you use it as a hair rinse on your shampoo days, it can fight the bacteria that causes dandruff and even promote hair growth. You can also rub a little vodka on your chest to reduce a fever fairly quickly. Internally, vodka contains no sugar and can contribute to lowering cholesterol levels too.
Bloody Mary
A Bloody Mary is most definitely an acquired taste. I mean, just think about what's in it—tomato juice, tabasco sauce, pepper, vodka, salt, and lemon juice. Still, if a crunk V-8 is your thing, the antioxidants in tomato juice (as well as the lemon juice that's in a Bloody Mary) can fight off free radicals, the fiber can keep you regular, and the vitamins C and E, lycopene and beta-carotene can keep your heart healthy. For detoxification of your system, it has chlorine and sulfur and the Vitamin K that's in it can keep your bones nice and strong.
Rum
Rum is what's left after distilled sugarcane molasses or juice ferments. The liquid ages in oak barrels and there you have it—rum! As far as health benefits, if you consume around 1 ½ oz, rum can help reduce anxiety, relieve muscle aches and pain, boost your immune system, make arthritis less uncomfortable and, some studies even say, can reduce your chances of having a heart attack (due to it being a blood thinner) or being diagnosed with dementia.
Whiskey
If your grandma is constantly trying to get you to drink a hot toddy when you're sick, it's not an old wives' tale. The reason why it's so effective is, in part, due to the whiskey that's in it. Whiskey serves as a decongestant because alcohol is able to dilate your blood vessels so that your mucus membranes can help to heal your infection. That's not all that whiskey is able to do. It's the kind of drink that can help to regulate your blood sugar levels, reduce stress and, because it's a low-calorie drink, a moderate amount of whiskey consumption won't cause you to pack on the pounds either.
Tequila
If you're gonna do a few tequila (which is made from blue agave) shots, it's best to stick to no more than 1-2 shots at a time. If you do, it can increase your metabolism and even help you to get a sounder night's sleep. Two other awesome benefits of tequila are it's a prebiotic (which means that it supports healthy gut bacteria) and, if you drink the high-end kind, it's highly unlikely that you'll wake up with a hangover. Pretty cool, huh?
Champagne
If you're looking for an alcoholic drink that is proven to be a real libido booster, a tall glass of champagne is exactly what you're looking for. A real plus that comes with champagne is it can increase blood circulation to your nether regions without zapping your energy levels in the process.
Some other good things about champagne is, like red wine, it's got antioxidants in it that are good for your heart; it contains proteins that can help to keep your short-term memory sharp and, the magnesium, potassium and zinc that it contains can keep you feeling really happy and upbeat.
So, what are you waiting for? Pick up a bottle on your way home; it should make for a really good time (especially if you're not alone) over the holiday season. #drinkup
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
5 Black-Owned Wines You Should Be Sipping Right Now
12 Cocktails You Have To Try Before The Summer Ends
I Took A Sip & Paint Class Full Of Naked Men - This Is What Happened
The Case For Drunk Dialing & Holding On
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- Alcohol to Drink on a Gluten-Free Diet ›
- 10 Myths And Facts About Celiac Disease - Food Republic ›
- Gluten Free Alcohol Guide - Glutagen ›
- Gluten-Free Alcohol – Gluten-Free Survival Guide ›
- The Best Gluten-Free Liquor and Alcohol Brands | Tequila, Bourbon ... ›
- All The Alcohol You Can Drink On A Gluten-Free Diet - Gluten-Free ... ›
- Is alcohol gluten-free? - UChicago Medicine ›
- Gluten Free Beer, Alcohol and Wine - Gluten free recipes - gfJules ... ›
- Gluten Free Alcohol List - Ultimate Guide to Liquor, Beer, and Cider ... ›
- Is Liquor Gluten-Free? | BeyondCeliac.org ›
As again, I watched her try and navigate through both relationships as she strived to figure out which man would truly be the best fit for her, I thought about a question that I get emailed on a semi-regular basis. When you’ve been with someone for a while, when you have deep and profound feelings for them, and when you’re not sure if you’re just being “extra” or something really is “off” in the relational dynamic — how do you know if it’s time to stay vs. when it’s time to go?
Before we get all up into this, let me just say that I’m addressing this particular topic from the angle of NOT being married. Because I personally think that the covenant of marriage is way more sacred and serious than a dating situation, I would be giving some different advice for husbands and wives. Also, I’m not including the topic of abuse (neglect included) because I’m hoping it goes without saying that if any type or level of that is transpiring, you definitely need to bring things to a swift and permanent end.
With all of that out of the way, today, we’re going to explore seven questions that you should ask yourself in the instance that you just can’t seem to “scratch the itch” on whether you should remain with your bae…because while nothing is actually “bad,” things are not as good as they used to be either. And since time is precious and you don’t want to waste it, you want to make sure that you’re right where you’re supposed to be.
Are you ready to (hopefully) gain more clarity than you had before clicking on this article? Let’s do this.
1. Do I Get That Even Relationships Have “Seasons”?
GiphyEcclesiastes 3 starts out talking about the fact that there are times and seasons for everything. And you know what? Relationships are not exempt. The reason why I’ve written articles for the site like “The ‘Seasons Of Sex’ That Married People Go Through” is because everything in this life has seasons — you know, periods when things shift. When it comes to the weather, whether we like the season that we’re in or not, we simply adjust because…what choice do we have?
Oh, but when it comes to relationships, so many of us have been conditioned to think that things are supposed to remain one way (usually the way we want it to be), without fluctuating, the entire time, that when there is a season of distance, disconnect or misunderstanding, we automatically believe it’s our cue to bounce instead of taking some time to process if it’s simply a period for communicating, maturing and learning more about our partner.
Listen, there is no way that people can grow without it affecting those around them, especially the ones whom they are closest to. So, before you decide to end things with your significant other, talk to them about what’s going on so that both of you can figure out if you’re going through an unfamiliar or uncomfortable season or if things are transitioning in a way where the relational dynamic no longer serves one or both of you.
Because I’ll tell you what — the people who have mastered longevity in relationships know that just like the weather, sometimes there are things that you have to learn to be flexible about…because even if you’re not thrilled with how certain things are at the moment, just like the weather, oftentimes, those things will change. Just like summer isn’t forever and fall comes in due time.
Plus, if you’re someone who can adapt well, there are pros and cons with different seasons, too. For instance, if this is a season when your partner is working more hours or traveling more than usual, if the goal is to get promoted or stack bread, the extra time that you have for yourself could help you to create some more long-term or short-term goals, pick up a hobby or do some self-work. Then, by the time things level back out, you’ll both be better people because of the “season.” See what I mean?
2. Did I Go into This with Unrealistic or Unfair Expectations?
GiphyI’m gonna tell you, right out the gate, what an unrealistic or unfair expectation is: If you thought that things were always gonna go your way or you were gonna get what you want right when you want it. I can’t tell you how many people have pretty much worn me out in counseling sessions, and it’s all because they thought a relationship was a catering service — that them being happy all of the time was to be the top priority and non-negotiable goal.
WRONG.
Something that wisdom, maturing, and self-reflection will teach you is that one of the main purposes of a relationship is to be with someone you love, respect, enjoy, trust, and can rely on to help you become a better person as you do the same for them. And no, that is not always going to be a fairy tale. In fact, I have said on many occasions that I loathe fairy tales (for adults) because I know what they mean: a story told to children and/or an incredible and misleading account. And don’t even get me started on the women who profess that they are waiting on their Prince Charming. After all, the Bible tells us that “charm is deceitful” (Proverbs 31:30).
Does this mean that you shouldn’t expect to have your needs — and even some of your wants — met? Of course, you should. Yet your needs need to make (reachable) sense. And honestly, a lot of folks could stand to ask themselves if they are able to give their partner all of the things that they expect from them (because many cannot).
So, what are some examples of unrealistic/unfair expectations?
- Expecting your partner to think just like you do
- Expecting your partner to read your mind
- Expecting love to mean that you won’t have to compromise
- Expecting your partner to give above their means
- Expecting your partner to be the sole source of your happiness
- Expecting your partner to love you more or better than you love yourself
- Expecting your partner to put their own needs in jeopardy just to meet yours
- Expecting your partner to always agree with or concede to you
- Expecting your relationship to always have good times and no challenges
- Expecting your partner to be the only one to make sacrifices
- Expecting every expectation to be met
I really was on a roll while writing these out, yet I’m sure you get the gist. Being in a relationship with another human being means that they have their own opinions, perspectives, and expectations — and they aren’t always going to match yours. And so, if you think that the sign of a healthy relationship is that they should, you really should be alone instead of trying to be with someone else. Because that way of thinking is the most unrealistic of them all.
3. Are We Incompatible or Am I Just Impatient?
GiphyWhen you get a chance, please read, “If He's Right For You, He Will COMPLEMENT Your Life.” In another article, I’ll be addressing why love is not enough in relationships. For now, one of the reasons why that is the case is because you can LOVE a lot of people who you simply cannot DO LIFE with. That’s why it really is important to seriously ponder if you and he are compatible or not.
To be compatible means that you share similar values, have like-minded relational goals, want the same long-term things out of life, have at least some of the same interests, and complement each other well when it comes to things like communication and meeting each other’s needs.
Listen, I’ve loved a few men in my life where these boxes did not check off, and because of our feelings for each other, we stayed together far longer than we ever should’ve.
At the same time, what if you are compatible with someone, but you’re just impatient as hell? I’ve been watching the current season ofReady to Love, and there are some women on there who are mad pushy when it comes to the clock. Personally, I don’t even know how you can hop on a show where you just met some dudes and roll up on them talking about how you want to be married by the end of the year. Yeah, it’s another message for another time, the amount of people who are tied to a goal more than a person.
Anyway, sometimes your partner can be in the same chapter as you (love story-wise) yet still not necessarily on the same page. Meaning, say that you want to be married this year, and he wants to wait until this time next year — are you contemplating ending things without considering his frame of mind? Maybe he wants to save money. Maybe he’s trying to secure some things professionally first. Maybe he wants to give you the kind of wedding (and ring) you want without relying on credit to get it.
It's one thing to end a relationship because you both want different things out of life. Oh, but it’s completely different to bounce because you’re used to folks giving into your pressure, ultimatum, or time frames. I’m not the one who thinks that a good man is hard to come by; I know many. I do think finding YOUR FIT isn’t as easy as you might believe, though.
A Canadian writer by the name of Janette Oke once said, “Impatience can cause wise people to do foolish things,” and, to that, the Good Book says that “Loveis patient” (I Corinthians 13:4). If you’re gonna end something, make sure it’s because the puzzle pieces don’t fit; not because you’re too impatient to see how the pieces will create a beautiful picture…when the time is right.
4. Do I Still Love, Like and Respect Him?
GiphyThe married couples whom I work with know that I live by a certain, I guess you can call it a motto: “If you still like each other, you can get back to love.” Liking someone is about enjoying their personality, wanting to spend time with them, and having feelings that are rooted in friendship, acceptance, and appreciation. When those things are present and accounted for, all of the butterflies, googly eyes, and sheer lust that the feelings of love may provide — they can usually get you through the seasons when those feelings seem to be missing.
And respect? Listen, a lot of women get triggered by the fact that the Bible instructs husbands to love their wives while telling wives to respect — respect, not love — their husbands (Ephesians 5:33), yet you know what? If you’re gonna be real with yourself, you know that it’s hard to love a man who you don’t respect — who you don’t esteem. We’re simply not wired to trust a man who we don’t think will be a good provider, protector, and leader on some level.
Confession time: I stayed in a relationship with someone who I really liked, kind of loved, and absolutely did not respect (as a man) for quite some time, once upon a time. And all it did was make me resentful and him insecure — and that was a form of mental and emotional torture for both of us.
You’re not doing a man any favors by staying with him if you don’t respect him. And it doesn’t make sense to try and build a future with someone who you don’t like a ton. As far as love goes, love is a beautiful thing — very. All I’m saying is, like, love and respect are a package deal when it comes to how we see a man. If one of those things is missing, ask yourself why and then be honest about if anything can be done to change how you’re feeling or…not.
5. What Would Improve About My Life If I Leave?
GiphyThis right here. Although this article is for people who are dating and not married, I do think it would be beneficial to put on record that, on average, somewhere between 30-40 percent of people regret getting a divorce. I think one of the main reasons is because the person you were when going into a marriage isn’t the person you are leaving it. You’re older. Dating dynamics in society have changed (and are ever-changing). You probably have a different set of life circumstances that may make dating more challenging (for instance, you may have kids now, and it takes a very special person to be a good potential stepparent).
Unfortunately, a lot of people will leave a relationship without considering this, only to have the ice-cold water of reality hit them smack dab in the face.
Now listen, I will be the first person to say that one of the major perks of dating is you don’t have to try and put the same effort into your relationship as married folks do. In fact, all of these non-engaged folks who spend months and years in couples therapy to try and make things work? Unless you’re someone who is in a long-term relationship with no desire to ever get married (check out “12 Couples Reveal Why They're Happy With A Long-Term Commitment Instead Of Marriage”), I don’t even get why you’re going through all of the trouble (or is it drama?). Some people have acted married before marriage so often, they don’t take marriage seriously enough when it finally does happen for them. SMDH.
This is where this particular question comes in. When you’re just dating, you really don’t have to hold on for dear life. You’re not “failing” if you realize that someone really is awesome — just not the right or best fit for you. And the reason why you know this is because you can actually name more than three ways that your life would get better if you left them alone.
Maybe you’d feel less stressed out. Maybe you’d have more time to focus on some personal ambitions. Maybe you’re compromising some core values that you want to get back to. Maybe they have you questioning some things about yourself that you know you shouldn’t be. Sometimes it’s as simple as maybe you’re feeling like something/one is better for you, and you know you won’t find them while you’re still…where you’re at.
This particular question really is underrated on a lot of levels because, while a lot of people are out here ending relationships on an emotional impulse, when you know that you’re leaving because you have a literal list of how your life would improve if you did dip out, that makes grieving the relationship less painful and finding closure, on some levels, less necessary (as far as dragging things out are concerned).
6. What Would Be Beneficial If I Stay?
GiphyIf something (or one) isn’t making you better, it’s either keeping you stagnant or making you worse, and you know what? Neither of those are good. So yeah, it’s also wise to ask yourself how you would benefit — mind, body, and spirit — to stay where you’re at. And honestly, one of the best ways to figure out the answer to this question is to fully take in a relationship-based quote that I have shared on the platform before:
“As soon as the love relationship does not lead me to me, as soon as I in a love relationship do not lead another person to himself, this love, even if it seems to be the most secure and ecstatic attachment I have ever experienced, is not true love. For real love is dedicated to continual becoming.” (Leo Buscaglia)
When something (or someone) benefits you, they are helpful, they are useful, they are constructive. No, this does not speak to transactional dating (which is oftentimes very self-centered and mercenary); what this means is they are improving your quality of life — prayerfully, on several levels. And no, this does not mean that everything is easy all of the time, either.
Sometimes, what helps you is constructive criticism. Sometimes what’s useful for you is being challenged in ways you’ve never been before. Sometimes what’s constructive is learning how to be more flexible, understanding, and forgiving (umm, like you would want your partner to be towards you…right?).
So, just like you should ask yourself how you would get better if you left, be real about how you are becoming better by staying. This is where a good old-fashioned pros and cons list comes in super handy. If the “improve” outweighs the “beneficial,” if you know that you are not becoming more of who you need to be thanks, in part, to the influence of the relationship…well…I’m sure you get what I’m about to say…about that.
7. Have I Been Here Before?
GiphyA wise person once said, “Everywhere you go, there you are” and boy, can it be a hard pill to swallow sometimes. Something else that I’m a firm believer in is that the universe will keep you in the same “life class” for decades if needed, until you learn whatever it is that a particular lesson is trying to teach you. So, one more question: Before you decide to call it quits, how many times have you been in this same spot — the same kind of relationship? The same type of guy? The same kind of issues? The same type of break-up?
Because there is absolutely no point in abruptly chalking it up to, “It was all his fault…again,” just so you can find another man to say this about in another six months or a year. If you’ve been here before, take some time out to do some serious self-pondering as to why.
__________
Every action has a reaction; I’m pretty sure that you’ve heard that saying at least once before — and when it comes to ending a relationship, it is most definitely true. If you’re wondering if you should, honestly, that’s already a feeling that is trying to tell you something. However, now that you’ve read all of this, hopefully, you can take some actions that you will feel at peace about…and won’t regret.
Because if you’re gonna end something, it’s a good idea to know why, so you can feel truly at peace about doing it — and yes, I’m speaking from very up close and personal experience here. Get your internal answers. Move wisely from there, sis.
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