

As with any journey, motherhood comes with its highs and lows, and ebbs and flows. And Black moms, especially those in the spotlight, have never shied away from keeping it real about the truth behind the beautiful chaos of raising children.
From navigating single parenthood and fertility struggles to embracing the unexpected joy and power that comes with raising children, their words reflect the truth of it all. Whether it’s naming the pain, laughing through the chaos, or honoring the love that keeps them going, these moms didn’t sugarcoat a thing.
Below, we’ve rounded up quotes that offer a raw, nuanced, and deeply personal glimpse into what motherhood really feels like.
Taraji P. Henson
On Michelle Obama's podcast, IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson, Taraji P. Henson got real about the generational cycle of single motherhood in her family, and not wishing that on her "worst enemy." She shared in the episode:
"It's just what I'm used to. Unlearning that trauma is where I am now."
Taraji also recalled a moment when her son Marcell was four years old and crying while she was completely spent and had nothing left to give:
"I was so tired, I wanted to cry. I wouldn’t wish being a single parent on my worst enemy, literally, because, think about when you’re exhausted and it’s like, the baby’s crying. ‘Oh, can you go get him, honey?’ There was no honey. I was honey. So If I work 12 hours and I come. If the baby’s sick. Everything fell on me."
Cree Summer
In a StyleLikeU interview, Cree Summer talked about the power of sisterhood in her motherhood journey, crediting them for holding her down as she navigated parenting her daughters as a single mom. She revealed that while initially she viewed becoming a single mother as the "greatest fear of my life," that fear transformed into a deep joy:
"I often find when you go through a separation and you’re on your own as a single mother, boy, you sure find what sisterhood is about for real, right ‘cause your sisters come in, especially the ones that have been through it already. They come in and they tell you that there is another side."
She also reflected on how motherhood, even solo, became her deepest source of love:
"The thing that I feared the most is the thing I love the most. I feared doing it on my own, and I love doing it on my own. Who would've known?"
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Kelly Rowland
In her candid book, Whoa Baby!, Kelly Rowland gave new moms everywhere permission to say, "WTF is happening to me?"—and still be head-over-heels in love with their baby. She shared what that messy, beautiful, body-shocking postpartum moment really felt like:
"In the blink of an eye, everything was all about Titan. And of course, that’s what it is to be a parent — that’s exactly how it’s supposed to be. I, too, was feeling the most incredible love I had ever experienced for that tiny little man who had just emerged from my body. But I was also feeling an incredible pain in my vajayjay and wondering if I’d ever walk again."
She continued:
"I didn’t realize how hard it would be for me to have a bowel movement or breastfeed or even sleep... I was also feeling exhausted and overwhelmed and a little bewildered."
Halle Berry
For Halle Berry, becoming a mom in her 40s brought clarity and emotional maturity she didn't have in her 20s. And she's grateful for the timing of her life. On The Wendy Williams Show, she once shared:
"I’m a much better mother at 46, or 41 when I had her, than if I were 21 or 25. I was just a little baby, just trying to figure it out, trying to figure out who I was, let alone have the responsibility of trying to help another little soul develop and grow… I’m so glad I waited."
And in another interview withHello!, she spoke honestly about motherhood and how it reshaped her priorities without sacrificing her purpose:
"It’s wildly affected my life. I haven’t worked as much since I had my daughter. I have another priority and she’s it. But I do want to send her the clear message that working is important and doing something that you love ― that validates you, or makes you feel you are giving yourself to the world ― is really important, so I will keep working."
Gabrielle Union
Gabrielle Union has always been someone who is unafraid of owning her truth, especially in the public eye. That level of transparency extends to her approach to talking about her struggles with infertility. In an interview, she touched on just how invasive conversations about becoming a mother can be.
"For so many women, and not just women in the spotlight, people feel very entitled to know, [they ask] ‘Do you want kids?’ A lot of people, especially people that have fertility issues, just say ‘no’ because that’s a lot easier than being honest about whatever is actually going on. People mean so well, but they have no idea the harm or frustration it can cause."
She went on to add:
"Once a month, I look like I’m in my second trimester because I’m bloated. It leads to the questions and it leads to the rumors, and anytime I go into a doctor’s office, I feel like I’m a member of SEAL Team Six undercover because I don’t want people to speculate."
Tika Sumpter
In an interview with Mother Mag, Tika Sumpter opened up about how motherhood deepened her self-awareness and helped her grow emotionally, not just for herself but also for her daughter:
"Motherhood has taught me to see myself more clearly. It’s made me realize where I’ve gone wrong in the past, and how important it is to take accountability. Like, apologizing quickly when I need to. It’s also helped me slow down, take a breath, and express my feelings better. I know that if I can’t express my emotions in a healthy way, I can’t teach my daughter how to do the same."
The actress and writer also spoke to the often complicated experience of preserving her identity while embracing the one she has as a mom:
"In terms of identity, motherhood has shown me that I’m more than ‘just a mom.’ Don’t get me wrong, being a mother is one of the most fulfilling parts of my life, but I’m also an entrepreneur, a wife, a friend, and so much more. I’ve learned that it’s okay for my identity to keep shifting. It took time to realize that I didn’t have to lose myself in motherhood. I can still pursue my dreams and honor all the parts of who I am."
Ciara
In an interview with PureWow, Ciara dished about the way motherhood has empowered her and elevated her life on every level:
"Motherhood has just shown me there's really nothing we can't do as women. I feel really empowered having my kids in my life. By far, my greatest accomplishment is having them."
The mother of four also went on to say:
"My life has been better. I can't even imagine my life without them... They motivate me. I hope that my kids can look at me and say, 'Anything is possible. Mommy went after what she wanted to achieve, and she did it."
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On her debut album,CTRL,SZA crooned about her desire to be a “Normal Girl.” Now, nearly eight years since its release, her Not Beauty line represents her commitment to existing outside of traditional beauty norms.
The singer whose real name is Solána Imani Rowe first teased the idea of a lip gloss line during Super Bowl LIX in February, noting that the release would be happening “very shortly.” Not Beauty debuted simultaneously with the Grand National Tour, which she co-headlines with Kendrick Lamar, in Minneapolis on April 19.
Each Not Beauty pop-up would offer fans the opportunity to purchase the glosses, learn more about the brand, and have the opportunity to meet the superstar in the flesh regardless of their ticket status.
During the Los Angeles tour stop, which spanned three dates on May 21, May 23, with the finale on May 24, xoNecole had the opportunity to test out the glosses included in this soft launch, as SZA revealed in a statement that "this is just the start of other lip products, including plans to launch stains, liners, and creams all inspired by SZA's “infamous layered lip combinations.”
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So, what is included in the first Not Beauty launch?
The current Not Beauty products available are lip glosses that come in three shades: In the Flesh, Strawberry Jelly, and Quartz.
During my visit to the first LA Not Beauty pop-up activation, I not only had the chance to purchase all three glosses but also took a peek inside the blow-up log tent. Inside, fans got to experience SZA’s love for nature and her fascination with bugs, which are prominently featured in her performances for this tour. At one point, she even had human preying mantis prancing across the stage y'all.
There were blow-up photos of the beauty that is SZA for fans (myself included) to take photos, but in wooden-like tree trunks were a deeper dive into some of the ingredients featured in her products and their benefits.
For example, the glosses feature Hi-Shine Lip Jelly and Shea Butter as key ingredients and some of the listed benefits included are:
- Shea Butter - “A powerhouse ingredient, offering both functional and nourishing benefits.”
- Hi-Shine Lip Jelly (featured in the In the Flesh shade) - “Formula glides on with perfect adhesion to the lips without stickiness).
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What are in the products?
Featured in an orange package, with images of a bug and flower on the side, the back of the box reads: “It’s NOT BEAUTY, it just works. Developed by Solána “SZA” Rowe.
As someone who never leaves home without a good lip gloss, I loved how compact the wood panel packaging is. Perfect to slip into my purse, or in the case of the show at SoFi Stadium, into my pocket when I’m not carrying a bag.
Because I’m a sucker for a good black and brown lip liner and clear gloss combo, I decided to wear the Quartz flavor on night one of the Grand National Tour LA stop, and it did not disappoint. I’ll admit, it’s light weight feel made me nervous because it felt like there was nothing on my lips. However, when I checked my lips in my compact mirror several times throughout the night, I was shocked to find that my gloss was still intact. I only reapplied once out of the habit of looking cute and applying my gloss, but not necessity.
Here are some of the ingredients featured, but not limited to, in the Quartz flavor.
- Polyisoubutene
- Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea)Butter
- Ricinus Communis (Castor) Seed Oil
- Mentha Piperita (Peppermint) Oil
- Tocopherol
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Lip prep
I’m a simple girl who loves to stay true to her roots. So ahead of the show, I stopped by a local Inglewood Beauty Supply store and grabbed a Black and Brown shade lip pencil for just under $2 a piece.
Shading the outline of my lips with the black pencil first, I used the brown to lightly fill the inside of my lips before applying my Quartz Not Beauty shade gloss.
How to apply
There’s truly no right or wrong way to apply lip gloss (in my opinion), with this being a brush applicator sort of product, I simply untwisted the top and swiped the gloss around my top and bottom lip generously.
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Results
Again, my Not Beauty Quartz product stayed on my lips from the start of the show, which began with a fire DJ set from LA’s very own, Mustard, to the conclusion when Kendrick and SZA reunited on stage to send us home to their duet, “luther,” featured on the rapper's GNX album.
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It’s almost always “annoyingly fun” to have conversations with super churchy folks. Example? Recently, I had on an anklet that a particular woman took notice of. When she complimented it and asked what it was made of, I said, “Moonstone, which is one of my birthstones.” Oddly enough, she then turned up her nose and said that stones and crystals were tied to witchcraft, to which I casually replied, “Then I guess you hate Aaron’s breastplate, huh?” She paused and turned her nose up again — this time, though, because she just experienced a good old-fashioned “checkmate.”
This article is about crystals not Scripture, so when it comes to the latter, I’ll just briefly say that if you mosey on over to Exodus 28, you’ll see that a high priest breastplate is referenced; one that contains precious gems including topaz, sapphire, agate, onyx and jasper (and that’s just for starters!). Yeah, it really is important to not just throw judgments around like confetti — know of what you are actually speaking of first (because that’s what Matthew 7 is really all about).
I did think it was important to mention that for potential skeptics about why this article even exists. Because although there are Scriptural and evenscience-based individuals who roll their eyes at the power of what gemstones and crystals can (possibly) do, I’m pretty sure that some of you are not surprised that the holistic and Ayurveda worlds see it all very differently.In those realms, energy plays a big role in physical, emotional, and mental health, and crystals are believed to cultivate balance or intensify certain feelings or experiences through that said energy.
That said, when it comes to sex, specifically, there are certain stones (which are basically what crystals are;in fact, all gemstones are a type of crystal) that are believed to help make intimacy even more satisfying. If you’re curious about which ones are, I’ve got 10 for you below.
10 Crystals That May Enhance Your Intimate Life
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1. Garnet
Garnet is a rich shade of red that happens to be January’s gemstone. It’s considered to be one of the oldest gemstones around, one that Egyptians believed was a symbol of life and something that they oftentimes wore in their signet rings. As far as symbolism goes, garnet also represents love and vitality as well as energy, passion and even self-confidence — all of which are quite relevant when it comes to having an active and fulfilling sex life.
2. Amethyst
Queen Cleopatra and Leonardo da Vinci are just two powerful figures who were big fans of the purple gemstone amethyst. Interestingly enough, it is February’s birthstone — the month that Valentine’s Day falls under. Another interesting fact is many early Christians relied on this gem in order to increase their spirituality while many Greeks used to see it as a stone that provided protection. When it comes to intimacy, amethyst is also associated with love and devotion as well as feelings of calm and reduced anxiety — and since the less calm you feel, the easier it is to climax…well. #wink
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3. Orange Carnelian
Looking to experience more joy and happiness? Or maybe you want to strengthen your friendships. Or perhaps it’s time to increase your pleasure levels or to go into deeper levels of sensuality. For all of these things, orange carnelian is a top-tier pick. As I did a bit more research on this stone, it’s considered to be a royal one and something that can bring forth peace. One of my favorite things about orange carnelian is it comes in different hues of orange — the deeper the color, the more passion it exudes. Just an FYI.
4. Rose Quartz
If you want to take your romantic relationship to another level, rose quartz has a solid reputation for helping to make that happen for you. In fact, this pink crystal is oftentimes referred to as being the stone of unconditional love because it encourages the wearers of it to both give as well as put themselves in the position to receive love too. Since rose quartz is also tied to things like emotional healing, restored trust and harmony, if you’re looking to make a much deeper intimate connection with your partner, this just might be the stone for you.
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5. Rhodochrosite
Rhodochrosite is a red-rose colored stone that I personally hold dear. I say that because, as a survivor of sexual abuse, it is one that helps recovering individuals to work through sexual trauma (and trauma, in general). It is associated with love, compassion and strength as it helps you to process your emotions in a positive way, so that you are able to effectively release past pain and deal with any PTSD that you might have. You know, I know a wife who sexually struggled in her marriage for years because she had been sexually assaulted in college and never told her husband.
A stone of compassion is a precious one — including when it comes to dealing with sexual trauma and intimacy challenges and learning how to face them. Salute to this stone right here.
6. Citrine
Citrine is November’s birthstone and its rich yellow color explains why it represents things like abundance, prosperity, radiance and happiness. Aside from this, whether you’re seeking clarity, you’d like to be more creative or you’re interested in becoming more sensual, citrine encourages all of this. Sensuality is a dope word because it’s all about appealing to all five senses; especially during intimacy. To learn more about how to do that, check out “How To Incorporate All Five Senses To Have The Best Sex Ever.”
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7. Red Jasper
While doing my own research on what red jasper represents, what I liked the most is it’s something that encourages emotional stability which is always a wonderful thing to have. Although it is a fiery red color, it also contains grounding properties and it symbolizes strength, courage and, another word that can always make sex more pleasurable: stamina. Since stamina is what helps both men and women to last longer during sex, anything that is a “stamina hack” earns an automatic mention when it comes to sex-themed content — including this.
8. Clear Quartz
A fun fact about quartz is it’s one of the most common minerals on this planet. When it comes to clear quartz, specifically, I like the way that it looks because it’s either a cloudy white or something that you can see straight through. As far as its symbolism is concerned, if you want to reduce physical discomfort, remove distractions and focus more on heightened levels of yourself, this crystal represents all of that. Clear quartz also encourages healing, spiritual growth and balance. To me, it seems like if you want to cultivate a spiritual or meditative (check out “What Exactly Is 'Orgasmic Meditation'?”) experience with your partner, clear quartz is a stone to try.
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9. Shiva Lingam
I ain’t got no lies to tell you — when I first happened upon this particular stone, the first thing that came to my mind was an article that I penned for the site back in the day entitled, “Blow Your Man's Mind By Giving Him This Tantalizing Massage.” That’s because it explains what a lingam massage is and, as you can see, this crystal has that word all up in it. The history of lingam is a bit layered (you can read about it here); however, because it is considered by many to be a phallic symbol and that typically represents the penis — shiva lingam is a neutral-colored crystal that represents both sexuality as well as fertility. Shocking, right? #sarcasm
10. Pyrite
It doesn’t escape me that it’s kind of funny that I’m closing this out with a crystal that has the nickname “fool’s gold.” That’s due to its appearance. That said, it’s also a stone that has some interesting symbolism to it. Since it comes from a Greek word that means fire — of course, it’s a crystal of passion. Since it also taps into things like heightened energy, self-esteem, creativity, awakened senses and the removal of toxic thoughts — if any stone should be in your “let’s get it on” crystal collection, pyrite would be the one!
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Know what’s kinda wild? While I was on Etsy’s site looking for another moonstone, a sake popped up in my feed on what the merchant calls their “libido crystal set” — and six of the 10 stones that I’ve mentioned throughout this article are featured in the collection.
Yeah, I’ll take that as a confirmation that whether you purchase a piece of jewelry that has one (or more) of these stones or you buy a piece of crystal itself to place somewhere in your bedroom — just putting your own energy into wanting a better sex life is a powerful step in the right direction to achieving it.
And what science can’t refute is the benefits of positive thoughts and actions — crystals or not.
So, if precious stones are totally your thing — enjoy, sis. Enjoy!
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