Michelle Obama Opens Up About What It’s Like To Be ‘Seen’ As Herself After Years In The Public Eye
Former first lady Michelle Obama is providing insight into her journey of becoming her authentic self and what it meant to be seen for who she is for the first time in years.
The Obamas first stole our hearts in 2008 when Barack Obama was elected the 44th president of the United States. Barack's presidency was considered a monumental occasion because he, Michelle, and their two daughters were the first Black family in the White House.
Throughout Barack's presidential term, which lasted until 2016, Michelle showcased grace, elegance, and unwavering commitment to meaningful causes involving health, education, and women's empowerment, ultimately making her a beloved figure.
Since the Obamas' departure from the White House, Michelle, who continues to support similar causes, has opened up more about her life with the help of her best-selling books The Light We Carry and Becoming. In addition to the memoirs, the 59-year-old has a podcast with Audible titled “The Light with Michelle Obama,” highlighting specific topics such as friendships, parenting, and the pressures of being in the public eye, to name a few.
During a recent interview with Harper's Bazaar, Michelle describes how it feels to finally share her authenticity with the world after years of maintaining an image because of Barack's presidency and understanding the inability to control the public narrative.
Michelle On Being Her Authentic Self
In the discussion last month, Michelle disclosed that although she never imagined herself being in the spotlight, when it happened after Barack was elected as president in 2008, the mother of two knew that being the first lady came with great responsibility.
Michelle also mentioned that throughout Barack's term, she always tried to be "her authentic self." But after leaving the White House, the star could do it more freely without external pressures, which she considers inspirational because it can lead others to live in their truth and share their stories.
"You know, I never really sought out or wanted the spotlight, but I understand that having it comes with responsibility. I hope when people look at me, they see someone who tried to be her authentic self and tell her story in a way that allows others to also share theirs," she said. "That's what the book and podcast have been about for me—passing along my story and the lessons I've learned along the way so that others can reflect on it and share their own."
Michelle On Not Controlling The Public Narrative
Michelle added that during this journey of becoming her authentic self and sharing personal content, the one lesson she's learned as a public figure was that she has to be "satisfied" with how she is being perceived because people will always have their own narrative.
"And one of the big things I've learned after all these years is that there's not much I can do to control the narrative. People are going to think what they want to think. I just know as long as I am satisfied with how I am putting myself out there, that's all that matters," she explained.
Despite what others may think about Michelle, she is doing a great job, and will always be our favorite first lady.
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Feature image by Derek White/Getty Images for ABA
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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How A Stay At Switzerland's Luxurious 7132 Hotel Reminded Me To Live The Life I Deserve
Sometimes, as women—especially as single Black women—we simply need to be reminded that we are deserving of living a life we dream of. Even if that means creating it for ourselves. I recently set out on a weeklong trip to Switzerland, a trip I’ve been wanting to take for years, and near the end of my visit, I had an epiphany.
“DeAnna, this is the life you deserve,” I thought to myself as I took in the gorgeous bathroom in my suite at the famous 7132 Hotel and Thermal Spa. It was one of the most luxurious hotels (and bathrooms) I had ever stayed in—and that’s saying a lot for someone who often travels for work.
To help you better understand why this was such a mental awakening for me, I first need to give a bit of my backstory. I’m in my late thirties. I’m an attorneyand a journalist. I own a home and have traveled the world extensively. Essentially, I’ve done everything in life I set out to do. However, when it comes to dating, I struggle. Not because there is anything wrong with me per se, but because my career and “lifestyle” often create problems in my romantic relationships.
View from my hotel room
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I’ve been told everything from, ‘I can’t continue to date you because you seem to choose your career over wanting to settle down and have kids’ by a man after only the second date to ‘Maybe if you just sat down somewhere for a while, I’d actually wife you’ by someone who has honestly never proven themselves to be the settle down type. And these are only a handful of the things I’ve been told over the years.
It’s been frustrating, to say the least, and there have even been seasons where I purposely dimmed my light in hopes that my career wouldn’t push away potential suitors. I know what you’re thinking, “Girl, why would you even consider that? If they’re for you, it won’t matter what you do.” Hey, don’t judge me, but also, I one hundred percent agree.
My hotel bathroom
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That’s why this recent moment in Switzerland was right on time. When I first walked into the hotel to check in, I was blown away by the surrounding beauty. It was a five-star property with one of the world’s most famous thermal bathhouses. Yet, it was something about seeing that 90% of the hotel’s guests were couples, that forced me to sit back for a bit of introspection—while soaking in the thermal spa, of course.
As I went through the mental conversation, there was a battle of sorts. On one hand, I knew that being able to partake in experiences like the one I was having at that moment was important to me. I knew that, at times I actually love being able to dabble in the finer things—after all, I’ve worked hard to be able to afford them. On the other hand, and sadly, I knew that sometimes being a single Black woman that publicly showcases her “luxurious” habits can intimidate men and even scare them off from pursuing you under the guise of them feeling like they “can’t do anything for you, because you have everything.”
My hotel room
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So, what is a girl to do?
Do I minimize/hide the life and experiences that I have? Do I play down the hard work I’ve put in to get where I am professionally? Or, do I risk being single in exchange for being able to have said life, without backlash?
Luckily, the joy that I felt while being at this property won. There was something about taking a full day to simply pamper myself at the bathhouse and in my in-room steam shower and soaker tub, indulging in cuisine from a 2-star Michelin restaurant and doing all of this while surrounded by an amazing group of Black women that reminded me—this is certainly the life I was meant to live and that I deserve. Even if it means that right now, I’ll just have to provide it for myself until the right partner comes along. And honestly, I’m okay with that.
Restaurant at 7132 hotel
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