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Listen, You're Totally Missing Out If You've Never Tried 'Yoga Sex' Before
Deflecting. If there’s one thing that irks me to absolutely no end, it’s when someone tries to avoid personal accountability — or even just a direct question — by deflecting. Take some people, who are barely in their 50s, who try to tell me that they are basically in a sexless marriage due to their age.
Chile, please. Reportedly, over 40 percent of people between the ages of 60-85 are sexually active (I personally think it’s much higher than that), and more than half between the ages of 57-75 (and one-third between the ages of 75-85) participate in oral sex. Matter of fact, a great example of all of this is TikTok sensation (and her husband) Rita 'Badgirlriri504' Smith who’s been married 43 years and talks about intimacy with her man every chance she gets. And you know what? I adore seeing it (check out “Marriage Tips with Social Media Creator Rita 'Badgirlriri504' Smith”)!
And just what does all of this have to do with today’s topic? Well, while talking to two of my clients not too long ago — people who are also well into their 60s — about the fact that they try to get it in at least twice a week (see what I mean? And that doesn’t include oral), when I asked them what their secret was, the wife said, without hesitation, “Simple. We do yoga sex.”
It’s pretty redundant for me to say that I write about sex a lot, which means that I research it too; however, I’ve got to admit that although I know that certain positions can make engaging in copulation easier, it never crossed my mind that there was something known as yoga sex. Yet, as the couple broke it down to me, I found myself becoming more and more intrigued. And that caused me to do some looking around so that I could share the wealth.
Because if your sex life is already bomb as hell, things are slowing down a bit, and you need a bit of “oomph” to fuel the fire again or, deep down, you know that you’re deflecting when it comes to your sex life and you want to change that — yoga sex could be the answer to all of your sexual needs. Read on to see what I mean.
Let’s Review Some Overall Benefits of Yoga, in General, First
The gym? It’s never been something that has tickled my fancy, not even a little bit. Oh, but as my metabolism is slowing down and I can tell that I’m deep in the throes of perimenopause (CHILE), I’ve accepted that I need to be more intentional about exercise than ever. And since you can find just about anything that you’re looking for on the internet, I’ve found myself taking a real liking to yoga.
As far as health-related and direct physical benefits go, there are many:
- Yoga helps to reduce stress
- Yoga helps to decrease bodily inflammation
- Yoga helps to boost your immunity
- Yoga strengthens your body
- Yoga increases flexibility
- Yoga gives you more balance and improves your posture
- Yoga elevates your mental health
And that really is just the tip of the iceberg! Since you can get all of this from apps that offer classes for free (you can get a list of some of them here, or you can put “yoga classes” in the search field of YouTube as well), which means that you can do yoga from the comfort and convenience of your own home, why wouldn’t you want to at least give it a shot? Especially if, as you’re about to see, you can incorporate sex into yoga too?
So, What’s This “Yoga Sex” Thing All About?
If you actually took the list of benefits that I just provided seriously, it should make all the sense in the world why yoga would help to improve people’s sex lives. If you’re less stressed, it’s easier to orgasm. If you have less bodily inflammation, sex is more comfortable. If you have a solid immune system, you’re in a better mood for sex. If your body is stronger, you will have more stamina during sex. The more flexible you are, the more sex positions you can try. The better your posture is, the easier it is to breathe deeply (which also increases your chances of climaxing). And if your mental health is in a great state, the more satisfying sex will be for you overall.
Okay, but there’s more. Some studies actually reveal that women who participate in yoga on a regular basis are more easily aroused, lubricate more, and experience less bodily discomfort — and get this, especially if they are over the age of 45. One study even went so far as to reveal that 75 percent of women who did yoga consistently said that they were more satisfied with their sex life than before yoga became a part of their lifestyle. Impressive…impressive indeed.
So, what makes “yoga sex” a thing? Well, it’s basically when people bring standard yoga positions into their sex life. Meaning, it’s not about learning positions that will make you stronger and more flexible in the bedroom beforehand; no, yoga sex is about literally doing yoga while having sex.
For instance, say that your goal for sex is to experience deeper penetration from your partner. A position that you might want to try is the cobra pose (here) where you first get on your stomach and then lift the upper half of your body with your hands while keeping your arms straight. If your partner straddles you, it frees their body up to penetrate you while also stimulating your neck and shoulders with his hands and mouth.
Or, if you like the missionary position yet you want to give it a bit of an upgrade, the bridge pose (here) can make that happen because it’s all about being on your back and then lifting the lower half of your body while your feet are planted on the ground (or your bed if your core is strong and your partner is helping to hold you up). Word on the street is this is a top-tier cunnilingus position. Report back. #wink
Maybe you’ve always wanted to experience a cervical orgasm. Getting on your back and throwing your legs over your head, and then being penetrated is one of the best ways to achieve this goal; that position is called the plow pose (here).
Now that I’ve broken yoga sex down a bit, do you see the potential that it holds? Do you also see how taking up some yoga, outside of sex, could better prep you for yoga sex?
If all of this has piqued your interest, first let me say that there are other traditional yoga positions that would be great for sex too like the forward bend and reclining butterfly (here) or the happy baby and cat-cow (here) — and honestly, that’s only the beginning because, the more confident you become, the more positions you’ll probably want to experiment with. The really awesome thing is, when it comes to yoga sex, positions aren’t the only thing that you can explore; there are different types of yoga sex too. Let’s touch on that briefly as well.
Did You Know That There Are Different Kinds of Yoga Sex?
So, what do I mean by different types of yoga sex? Great question.
Tantric yoga: This type of yoga focuses on the more spiritual side of intimacy. It does this by incorporating practices that help with meditation (check out “What Exactly Is 'Orgasmic Meditation'?”), flexibility and deep breathing.
Orgasmic yoga:If you want to control your pelvis more, strengthen your core, and become an expert when it comes to breathwork, then orgasmic yoga will be more your speed (for the record, from what I’ve read, belly dancing actually qualifies as a form of orgasmic yoga. Just an FYI).
Kink yoga: If BDSM is your thing, then this is the kind of yoga that you’ve been looking for. The main aim here is to use yoga to get you to become more flexible and more mindful during sex.
When it comes to all three of these, if you live in a major city, there’s a pretty good chance that you can find a class that specializes in them. Otherwise, YouTube has some introductions to all of these too.
3 Tips for Yoga Sex Beginners
And what if yoga sex is something you’re down with yet you’re not sure how to start? Well, here are a few tips that can make even trying yoga sex tonight a more pleasurable experience.
1. Decide on positions beforehand.Good foreplay isn’t just about what you do 15 minutes before intercourse; it’s about getting each other’s minds “right” long before that. So, put your partner in the mood by emailing or texting pictures of some positions you’d like to try. It will get his mind in the mood and his imagination going; it’ll also give you some time to practice (just sayin’).
2. Create a “yoga-like” atmosphere. Listen, one of the key principles of yoga is cultivating an environment for mindfulness and peace. So, if you’re trying to do this with the television on, the kids yelling downstairs, or with your mind on a billion different things, it’s not going to work. You need quiet. You also need a lot of room. You need scents (like lavender, jasmine, vanilla, neroli, or sandalwood) that make you feel calm and relaxed. And you need soft lighting; it brings about a sense of tranquility. What about sounds? Instrumental or nature ones are probably gonna work best because they won’t break your concentration.
3. Always meditate (together) first. You’re kinda gonna miss the whole point of yoga sex if you just walk into your bedroom and immediately get into the downward dog. Remember that mindfulness, peacefulness, and pacing oneself are all benefits of yoga — and meditation is what achieves all of this. Plus, meditation is proven to control anxiety, bring about self-awareness, and even give you a greater attention space. So, before any foreplay even begins, sit on the floor across from your partner, look into each other’s eyes, and breathe, deeply, in and out together, for at least 3-5 minutes. It will bring forth an energy that will make yoga sex — and orgasming — truly incomparable…that’s what my clients tell me anyway. #wink
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It really is so time out for bringing ageism into sex. If the body is able and the spirit is willing, you can be out here rivaling the 20-somethings. Yoga sex is just one option that cosigns on this — and has the data to prove it, chile. Enjoy!
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
Actor Jessie T. Usher reveals his secrets for maintaining his physical appearance while filming Amazon Prime's The Boys.
The series, which spans four seasons, follows vigilantes as they battle corrupt superheroes. In The Boys, Usher portrays Reggie Franklin, also known as A-Train, a superhero with incredible speed.
During a recent Men's Health magazine interview, the 32-year-old spoke about his diet and workout regimens. These routines help Usher stay in shape for the show's stunt work, which involves intense cardio to match his character's super-speed abilities.
In the discussion, he revealed his workout regimen consists of resistance training and cardio. On rest days, the Shaft star incorporates yoga and stretching into his routine.Jessie On What He Eats In a Day
Regarding his diet, Usher shared he typically eats three meals daily with minimal variations. He begins each day by hydrating and waiting an hour or two before breakfast. On production days for The Boys, Usher opts for eggs with herbs and seasonings, accompanied by fruit.
The Dangerous Lies actor keeps it light for lunch with protein-rich options like quinoa bowls or salads with lentils, chicken, and vegetables from CAVA. Dinner is his heartiest meal, featuring chicken and fish (particularly sea bass or salmon), after which he refrains from eating for the rest of the night.
Usher focuses on protein intake for all his meals rather than counting macro calories to support muscle growth. He boosts his protein with peanut butter shakes. While maintaining a disciplined diet, The Almost Christmas star allows himself occasional indulgences like Funyuns or Nutter Butters. To round out his health regimen, Usher takes daily vitamins.
Jessie On His Diet And Workout Routine For "The Boys"
When asked about adjusting his diet or workout routine for his role in The Boys, Usher explained that his health-conscious lifestyle eliminates the need for significant changes.
“Honestly, no. Because by the time I got to The Boys I was already health conscious. Very much aware of what I was putting in my body and how,” he said.
Regarding his workouts, Usher revealed he tailors his routines to include more diverse cardio exercises. This approach ensures he's physically prepared for the scenes he shoots for the show.
“A day of working out for The Boys is a little bit different. I feel like I added more variations of cardio work,” he stated. “When [you’re shooting] you just have no idea what they’re about to throw at you. I just want to be ready for all of those challenges, especially the cardio things. I just wanted to have the endurance to be able to get through whatever type of scene that I would possibly be shooting.”
Season four of The Boys is now streaming on Amazon Prime.
Everything ‘The Boys’ Star Jessie T Usher Eats In a Day | Eat Like | Men's Health
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Feature image by Phillip Faraone/Getty Images for Paramount Pictures