Meet The Women Radiating Main Character Energy
If you came across this article and clicked on it because of its title, you might be wondering, what is "main character energy"? Don't worry girl, we've got you covered. Main character energy is a phrase that gained popularity through TikTok and places the spotlight where it needs to be, on you as the writer and architect of your own story. And as such, you are the main character. Main character energy is a positive way to describe yourself as it refers to an interesting, multi-faceted, multi-layered protagonist who are ultimately the loves of their own lives, period.
Main character energy isn't a trend, it's a lifestyle. Main character energy takes time and dedication to crafting the best life for yourself by yourself. For many years, I struggled to tap into my "main character energy" due to my lack of self-confidence and codependency. After my breakup, I took time to find myself again. Once I put in the work to heal, I began to find radical self-acceptance. Embracing my "main character energy", I became the love of my own life.
Below are a few women I admire who I feel radiate main character energy. They have put so much love into themselves and are amazing women. Here is how they have become the main character of their own life.
Devri Velazquez
Courtesy of Devri Velazquez
Writer, Digital Creative, and Rare Disease Survivor
"When I was 20 years old, I was diagnosed with a rare disease that has no cure. It devastated me so much. More than the physical limitations I experienced in the first few years of my diagnosis, my mental health was rocked. It was important for me to root myself in my faith and spirituality so I didn't lose my mind. I did not like myself at all, but years later after my illness went into remission and I could go back to work, I gained my confidence back.
"I put one foot in front of the other and had to realize that this was my new normal, and if I still wanted to succeed in whatever I envisioned for my life, then I needed to stop spending so much energy pitying myself and instead, navigate the obstacles in the best way I could."
"Whenever I see something in my life, I manifest it and work towards a goal to make it a reality. I've moved across the country twice with no savings, no friends, nothing to my name but my ambition. I take a lot of pride in trusting my intuition and forging my path a lot of times even when my decisions were unpopular or seemed unrealistic."
Tanika Lambert
Courtesy of Tanika Lambert
Athleisurewear Designer
"I overcame challenges because I had to ask myself hard questions. The one question I had to ask myself was, 'What do I want?' When I finally answered this question, more opportunities began to open up for me.
"I'm living life on my terms by, doing the things that matter to me. I found that being intentional with what I want and what goals I want to accomplish helped me a lot."
"Self-love, acceptance, and understanding has helped me with outside relationships because now I know what people I want around me. I want positive people around me that will elevate and motivate me."
Courtney Richardson
Courtesy of Courtney Richardson
Creative Strategist for Paper Magazine and founder of Do It For The Brand
"Growing up Black and being a woman is a challenge within itself. When you grow up as such, society tells you that you're not worthy, that you're less than, and that you don't matter. Whether it's the lack of representation in entertainment or the systematic barriers that are set up to hold people like me back due to race and gender, it's easy to be on the sidelines. So, I wasn't always the main character in my own life growing up due to how society saw (and still sees) people that look like me. But it became so exhausting that I got tired of being tired.
"In my early twenties, I decided it was much easier to love who I was and steep in that joy than it was to not. And at the same time, for many who look like me, there's also an innate form of resilience by being a woman and a Black woman at that. By being such, I've been able to come into my own by embracing the gifts of being a Black woman and defying what society negates me to be."
"A while ago, I made a non-negotiable contract within myself that contain terms like:
- I refuse to put energy into things that don't light me up.
- My joy is my joy and no one else's.
- The only time I'll sleep on myself is when I have to get rest.
- Recharge but also refuse to have any apologies about doing so.
"By living life by my own set of terms, I can hold myself to be accountable to my measure of greatness, growth, and gratitude."
Ty-Michelle
Courtesy of Ty-Michelle
DJ and CEO of #ZenitudeShop
"What has helped me become comfortable with my whole self is fully accepting my flaws. I think we all strive to be a perfect model of ourselves but the reality is, there is no such thing as perfect. I've reached a place where I now fully understand the concept of duality and how important it is for us to honor both the light and dark sides of who we are.
"Once I began living in the space of honoring my mistakes instead of running and hiding from them, I began to settle into my true self."
"I wake up every single day and do what I want. If I need a rest, I take it. If I feel like I need a spa day, I plan one. Most importantly I don't let other people dictate what my life should look like or let opinions from outsiders get to me. We only get one run at this. I do what makes me happy and let God worry about the rest."
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Featured image by Courtney Richardson
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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What These Beauty Editors And Writers Learned About Beauty From Their Moms
Beauty editors are the heart of the industry. They work endlessly to provide us with inspiring stories and keep us up to date on beauty trends that help remind us we are that girl. However, before they were the trailblazers of the beauty industry, they were little girls inspired by their mothers’ beauty routines.
Watching them every morning as they put on their favorite lipstick and got ready for the day. Dreaming of the moment when they, too, could play in their mother's makeup bag and discover the secret behind the captivating beauty world.
Asia Milia Ware, Kayla Greaves, and Shauna Beni are three masterminds behind some of your favorite digital publications. They have pushed beauty trends and started groundbreaking conversations in the industry. Not only are they some of the most talented beauty writers and editors, but they are fabulous women who get it from their mamas!
We chatted with each of them to learn more about how their mothers have influenced their love for beauty.
Asia Milia Ware
Beauty and Fashion Writer, The Cut
Asia Milia Ware is a beauty and fashion force to be reckoned with. You can catch her on somebody's island in the latest fashion or at an occasional function with friends and a bold red lip. Ware’s infectious love for beauty and fashion started as a young girl watching her mom’s simple yet profound beauty routine. “My mom’s beauty routine was simple. She had her go-to Revlon red lipstick that doubled as a blush, followed by Amber Rose perfume oil, and she would do her nails,” says Ware. As Ware gained an admiration for beauty, she would turn her mother's sweet red lipstick kisses into blush. A mother’s love would soon birth the trajectory of Ware’s successful career in the beauty industry.
“It impacted me as a young girl because I saw how it made her feel. I saw the instant mood booster it was to apply her lipstick, and I saw how special she felt when she would go to the hair salon and be pampered instead of doing it herself,” she says. Seeing her mother’s confidence and happiness made Ware crave a similar feeling. Sneaking into her mother’s makeup bag and putting on lipstick became a thrill. That thrill soon turned into Ware tagging along to the nail salon with her aunts. “I saw Black women unapologetically indulging in themselves through beauty, and it was a community I couldn’t wait to be part of.”
Seeing women pour into themselves was pivotal for the way Ware would view self-love, but Ware’s most important lesson in beauty would be self-acceptance. “I was a rebel; if she [her mother] told me I didn't need certain makeup or weave, I would still want it. But, in hindsight, she was teaching me to love everything about myself without the enhancements,” says Ware. Living in a world where beauty can seem more important than who we are, learning to love our core can help enhance our self-confidence and view beauty as an accessory, not a necessity.
Kayla Greaves
Award-winning Beauty Journalist and former Beauty Editor at InStyle
“My mother was very big on beauty. I can’t remember when she ever went out without glam and a fit to match,” says Greaves. The apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree. Greaves is an award-winning journalist who challenges beauty norms while looking effortless in glam. Like her mother, she has a wash and roller set and well-manicured nails. “She had her weekly wash days, followed by doing her own roller set, and while under the dryer, she would be doing her mani/pedi. Many of my memories of her have become fuzzy, but as a little girl, I remember looking up to her and thinking she was the most beautiful woman on the planet,” says Greaves.
Like most little girls, Greaves enjoyed playing in her mother's closet and makeup. She fell into beauty as she tried on her mother's clothes and indulged in her makeup bag. “I always wanted my nails painted, my hair done, and begged her to put a little blush on my cheeks before we went out,” says Greaves. Her mother's passion for beauty was soon embedded in her daughter, who couldn’t wait to define beauty for herself.
As Greaves grew up, she unfortunately couldn’t bask in conversation about beauty with her mother. However, she’s adopted what she remembers of her mom into her routine. “she always had a simple makeup routine, and I've adopted that. My go-to look is a combo of mascara, a little highlighter, and a well-lined red or nude lip. Ironically, I have my mother's lips—maybe that's why they're my favorite feature.” Greaves' mother's love for beauty will forever be remembered and carried through her daughter's spirit.
Shauna Beni-Haynes
Shopping Editor, Teen Vogue
Shauna Beni-Haynes' beauty routines are filled with so much life. From pink hair to vibrant makeup and fashion looks, Haynes' love for beauty knows no bounds. Although Haynes’ relationship with beauty is larger than life, her mom always kept things simple. “All she needed was a classic red lip, red nails, and a big, voluminous blowout. That was her go-to beauty routine, and I love looking back at her pictures and seeing how beautiful she looked,” says Haynes.
Similar to Haynes, her mother created her own rules when it came to beauty. A bold red lip and voluminous hair deeply impacted Haynes at a time when most were doing the opposite. “In a time when the beauty standard was focused on long, straight, silky hair, I could rock my natural curls loud and proud, thanks to the confidence instilled from my mom's beauty routine,” says Haynes. Her mother’s courage became rooted in a lesson for Haynes to use the beauty features she already had, allowing her to embrace her full self.
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Featured image by Asia Milia Ware/Instagram