When an interviewer hits you with, "Do you have any questions for me?" at the end of your job interview, you have two options. You can nervously blurt out the first random question that pops in your head, or you can confidently pull out a list of carefully curated questions that you prepared in advance. Because, girl, nobody has time to waste.
Remember that a job interview is a two-way street. While the interviewer may be the final decision-maker for employment, you have equal power to curve an offer if it doesn't meet your desires. Factors like salary, responsibilities, and benefits should naturally be part of your conversation, however, it is essential to dig beyond the surface level, sis.
Getting to the bottom of a company's culture and expectations during the interview process will help you hit the ground running with information that will make you feel like you made the right decision.
So, what questions do you ask to make sure a company is a winner? Keep these 10 in mind the next time you're in the interview hot seat:
1.What kind of duties can I anticipate that are not listed in the job description?
"Other duties as assigned." What does that really mean? Ask this question to avoid taking on annoying additional responsibilities. A study from Paychex shows four out of 10 workers take on more responsibilities outside of their work scope. Having this info upfront can help you figure out if the pay and benefits are worth taking on fifty 'leven extra tasks.
2.How did the company adjust during the pandemic?
The COVID-19 pandemic drastically changed the way that people work. It is important to understand how a potential employer reacted to the changes, how they made the transition process smooth for employees, and what to expect if another future crisis occurs.
3.Why is there a need for this role to be filled right now?
A role may need to be filled for multiple reasons. It can be brand new, past employees may not have been a good fit, and so on. Learning why the role is open can tell you if a company is growing or having a hard time keeping employees.
4.Who would I be reporting to directly?
An employee-supervisor relationship can make or break the office vibes and affect the flow of getting ish done. Learn who you are reporting to regularly to decide if the working relationship will be good for you.
5.Based on my background, how do you think I can add value to this role?
This question puts pressure on the interviewer, but it can be a sign that they believe you are a good fit for the role based on their response.
6.What key performance indicators (KPIs) are most important for this role?
KPIs are your best friend. It is important to know how your performance will be measured. Knowing upfront KPIs can help you see if the company is realistic about what can be accomplished based on your previous experience.
7.How is the company committed to diversity?
As a woman of color, it is essential to know if your presence will be valued in the company. Knowing if a company is truly down for diversity may be a deciding factor of whether you want to be there.
8.What initiatives are in place to promote employee wellness?
Forty-eight percent of Americans consider themselves workaholics, and this stat is bad for business. Understanding a company's position on work-life balance can give you peace of mind that they value their employees' well-being.
9.What milestones will the company achieve in the next three years, and how does my role support them?
Where a company is going in the short-term can help you see a future with them. Their plan can give you an idea of how you will be a part of their evolution and opportunities to grow within.
10.What would NOT make a person a good fit here?
This question can expose your incompatible traits with the role or the company. Understanding what a company doesn't want can help you determine if you are the best fit.
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From Monogamy To Polyamory: 'I'm In An Asexual Poly Marriage With My Husband Of 7 Years'
Have you ever wondered what it's like to be asexual and in an open marriage? Relationship Coach Mikki Bey shared her first-hand experience with us as well as answered some of our burning questions.
Like a lot of people, Mikki met her now husband, Raheem Ali, online. As soon as they met, they instantly fell in love and got engaged on their first date. Just 90 days after they met, the couple tied the knot and have now been married for seven years. Raheem and Mikki aren’t your typical married couple, and despite being married for almost a decade, their marriage is anything but traditional. Mikki and Raheem have what she calls an "asexual polyamorous marriage."
Defining Her Sexuality
It wasn't until last summer that Mikki found the language to define her sexuality. "I didn't have the language for it until last summer," she explained to xoNecole. "Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing.”
Mikki always thought she was broken because she had no interest in sex. Mikki noticed after her friends came to visit and started discussing their sexual fantasies that she realized something was different about her. “At that point, I knew something was definitely different about me since I do not have sexual fantasies at all. It was truly news to me that people are at work thinking about sex! That was not my experience.” This led to Mikki researching asexuality, which she soon realized fit her to a T. “It felt like breathing new air when I was able to call it by name," said Mikki.
"Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing it."
Asexuality refers to people who experience little or no sexual attraction, experience attraction without acting on it sexually, or experience sexual attraction differently based on other factors. Like most things, asexuality falls on a spectrum and encompasses many other identities. It's important to remember, however, that attraction and action are not always synonymous: some asexuals may reject the idea of sexual contact, but others may be sex-neutral and engage in sexual activity.
It's possible that some asexuals will have sex with someone else despite not having a libido or masturbating, but others will have sex with a partner because it brings a sense of connection.
From a Traditional Marriage to Kitchen Table Polyamory
Although Mikki never really had a high sex drive, it wasn’t until after the birth of her son, that she noticed her sex drive took a real nosedive. “I never had a high sex drive, but about a year after my son was born, I realized I had zero desire. My husband has a high sex drive, and I knew that it would not be sustainable to not have sex in our marriage at that time.”
She was determined to find an alternative to divorce and stumbled upon a polyamory conversation on Clubhouse. Upon doing her own research, she brought up the idea to their husband, who was receptive. “It’s so interesting to me that people weigh sex so heavily in relationships when even if you are having a ton of sex, it’s still a very small percentage of the relationship activity," Mikki shared.
They chose polyamory because Mikki still wanted to be married, but she also wanted to make sure that Raheem was getting his individual needs and desires met, even if that meant meeting them with someone else. “I think that we have been programmed to think that our spouses need to be our 'everything.' We do not operate like that. There is no one way that fits all when it comes to relationships, despite what society may try to tell you. Their path to doing this thing called life together may be different from yours, but they found what works for them. We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us,” Mikki explained.
"We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us. We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sex partners to lifetime partners if it should go there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it."
She continued, “We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sexual partners to lifetime partners if it should get there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it. Our dynamic is parallel with kitchen table poly aspirations.”
Kitchen table polyamory (KTP) is a polyamorous relationship in which all participants are on friendly terms enough to share a meal at the kitchen table. Basically, it means you have some form of relationship with your partner’s other partner, whether as a group or individually. A lot of times, KTP relationships are highly personal and rooted in mutual respect, communication, and friendship.
Intimacy in an Asexual Polyamorous Marriage
Mikki says she and her husband, Raheem, still share intimate moments despite being in a polyamorous marriage. “Our intimacy is emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and physical, although non-sexual. We are intentional about date nights weekly, surprising and delighting each other daily, and most of all, we communicate our needs regularly. In my opinion, our intimacy is top-tier! I give my husband full-body massages, mani-pedis and make sure I am giving him small physical touches/kisses throughout the day. He is also very intentional about showing me his love and affection.”
Raheem and Mikki now use their lives as examples for others. On their website, thepolycouplenextdoor.com, they coach people interested in learning how to be consensually non-monogamous. “We are both relationship coaches. I specialized in emotional regulation, and Raheem specializes in communication and conflict resolution. The same tools we use in our marriage help our clients succeed in polyamory."
Mikki advises people who may be asexual or seeking non-monogamy to communicate their needs openly and to consider seeking sex therapy or intimacy coaching. Building a strong relationship with a non-sexual partner requires both empathy and compassion.
For more of Mikki, follow her on Instagram @getmikkibey. Follow the couple's platform on Instagram @thepolycouplenextdoor.
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