Motivation stems from three areas of your life: autonomy, competence, and relationships. When you lose touch of these areas, you may feel stuck and unable to move forward.
Event planner Champagne Braswell felt all of the feels of being stuck and unmotivated when her life changed dramatically in 2020. "Last year, COVID messed up my income. I lost a lot of business, my home went into foreclosure, and I didn't know what I was going to do," she says.
Braswell felt pressure and anxiety because instead of fearing the unknown, she was staring directly at it in the face. "I knew I had to pivot and use my resources to survive," she said.
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Set Specific Goals
"What can I do to keep myself focused?" is the question that Mija asked herself when she realized she was getting off track. She created laser-focused goals that kept her preoccupied as she coped with her loss.
The American Psychological Association shares that people who set specific and challenging goals are 90 percent more likely to achieve what they've set their mind to do. The more detailed and out of reach a goal may feel, the more adrenaline you'll receive to bring it to life.
Incorporate Mediation and Journaling Into Your Routine
After losing what felt like everything, Champagne began to incorporate meditation and journaling into her life.
"Daily meditation helped me visualize what I was going to do that day. I started a journal because it helps me talk through things and how I feel. I hope my thoughts can eventually help somebody else.'"
Research shows that meditating for as little as 20 minutes can increase your focus and allow you to achieve more. People who journal each day experience a 22 percent increase in performance and achievement.
Pay Attention to Your Body
Sometimes the root of a lack of motivation may stem from physiological or mental issues. For example, if you have anemia, you may experience decreased motivation from iron deficiencies. If you are experiencing mental issues, you may experience avolition. This condition is a total lack of motivation due to mental illness or medicines used to treat mental illnesses.
Consult with a doctor to see if the changes in your body are the root of changes in your motivation. It may be easy to lose and hard to gain, however, you have to re-explore your why and pivot if necessary to preserve your sanity and peace of mind.
Motivation will manifest when you put yourself in a position to understand what is making you feel stuck and detail a master plan on how to get back on the saddle and ride.
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I don't know who needs to hear this but, you are not (and should not be) the end-all-be-all solution to everyone's problems. Burnout is a real issue among women, and it often stems from overcompensating, over-performing, and overextending yourself until you finally give zero F's and become over it.
I recently came across a term that made me do a double-take on my own life: overfunctioning. According to the experts at Psychology Today, overfunctioning happens when you go above and beyond to control a situation and other's perceptions and feelings around it. You try to become the hero who will do anything to make sure that all is well, even if it means putting yourself last or not getting what you truly want.
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A study found that 70 percent of working women have experienced burnout since the start of the pandemic. In addition to being "Zoomed" to death, women have to deal with household and care-giving responsibilities, educational pursuits, and other commitments that put them in overfunctioning mode.
Here's what overfunctioning looks like:
- Excessive people-pleasing to avoid disappointing others
- Avoiding saying "no"
- Setting goals for other people without their permission
- Taking on more responsibilities even when you are not asked
- Enabling bad behaviors in others
- Always talking and never listening to others
- Giving unsolicited advice
- Feeling like a victim when others do not recognize your efforts
As an overfunctioner, your anxiety is the driver of your actions because in your mind, if you are not in control of everything, something has to go wrong eventually. You may argue that overfunctioning is "just how it is" or "just the way you are," but it's actually a response to anxiety related to things that honestly have nothing to do with you.
Here's the thing: For so long, we've heard the narrative of being a "strong Black woman." We have to be tough, resilient, independent, and ready to take on life without a flinch because that is what we were taught to do. However, we have to be conscious enough to understand when we follow generational or societal trends by default or subscribe to the need to constantly be in control at all times.
Whatever your reason, take time to understand the emotional, physical, and mental toll overfunctioning can take on your life. "Doing the most" gives you an illusion of being in control when, in reality, you are losing control of yourself.
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If you're overfunctioning, understand this:
- You don't always have to be the bigger person if it's to your own mental and physical detriment.
- You don't always have to give people, work, and situations every bit of your being.
- You don't always have to find a solution just because someone comes to you with a problem.
- You don't always have to be a helicopter wife, girlfriend, parent, or friend, trying to stop others from learning from their own mistakes.
You are ultimately responsible for yourself and how you react and respond to life.
You will find better peace of mind knowing that you can eliminate burnout when you stay and operate within your lane and live a life where you can let your hair down and let others do the same, live life, and learn for themselves.
Are you a member of our insiders squad? Join us in the xoTribe Members Community today!
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