It's weird. Although my face isn't naturally dry, the skin that's on the rest of my body can never get enough coconut oil, shea butter, or sweet almond oil (my favorite moisturizers). And my scalp? I washed it and deep conditioned it right before I got my latest rounds of box braids in, but three days into them, my scalp was lookin' like the Sahara.
For years, I used to get so irritated because it seemed like no matter what I did, I was going to be able to write "dry" on some body part. Also, a few hours into my day my scalp was going to have flakes, no matter how much I pampered it. But lately, I've realized that in order for my skin to get the hydration that it needs, it's not enough to put moisture-rich products on it; I also need to drink more water than I tend, to take an oil supplement (my personal faves are evening primrose oil and flaxseed oil), and get some foods that are proven to moisturize my skin and hair into my system.
If you have the same problem that I do, these are some of the foods that will get your skin, scalp, and hair back into a good hydration balance. My top 10 are as follows.
1. Oatmeal
I'd be shocked if you didn't grow up having a bowl of oatmeal, at least some of the time. Good thing too because oats are considered to be one of the healthiest grains on the planet. That makes perfect sense considering the fact that a half a cup will give you 191 percent manganese, 41 percent phosphorus, 39 percent thiamin (B1), 34 percent magnesium and 24 percent copper of the daily intake level of these nutrients that your body needs (it's a good source of iron and fiber too). Oats also contain avenanthramides to lower your blood pressure.
As far as your skin goes, colloidal oatmeal is the way to go. It's basically fine oats that are boiled to the point of becoming an extract so that your skin is able to get all of the nutrients that will keep it soft and smooth. You can purchase this type of oatmeal in the form of a powder or as a soap. Or, if you'd prefer to use the raw oats that are already in your house, treat your dry skin, psoriasis, or eczema by pouring a cup of oats and 10 drops of lavender essential oil into your running bathwater. Make sure the water is not too hot (hot water can dry you out too) and soak in the combo for no more than 30 minutes. You'll get out and immediately feel the difference.
2. Herbal Tea
If you're like me and you think that the best comparison to water, taste-wise, is that it's a lot like "wet air", add a little bit of excitement by having some herbal tea. There is absolutely not enough time or space to get into all of the ways that different herbs can benefit your body. But, if you're trying to figure out which ones are the best for your hair and skin specifically, here are the ones that I recommend.
- Nettle Leaf maintains skin tone and fights premature greying.
- Oatstraw improves skin texture and strengthens hair follicles.
- Hibiscus contains omega-3 fatty acids and natural alpha hydroxy acids (AHAs) to increase the elasticity in your skin as well as your hair.
- Matcha has Vitamin K that will increase blood circulation and chlorophyll to protect your skin and hair cells.
- Dandelion provides liver support so that toxins are removed from your skin's pores and your hair's follicles.
- Chamomile contains anti-inflammatory, antiseptic, and antimicrobial properties that improve the appearance of psoriasis, eczema, and acne scars, along with antioxidants that improve cell damage as it relates to your hair.
- Burdock Root has phenolic acid, luteolin, and quercetin in it—all of which are antioxidants that detoxify your system so that your hair and skin cells remain healthy and strong.
Hair Moisture Tip: If you decide to use herbal tea as a hair rinse, add a little bit of honey. Honey is a humectant; this means that it will pull moisture from the air and keep your locks super soft and conditioned.
3. Citrus Fruit
Citrus fruit is one of the greatest sources of Vitamin C that there is. That automatically means that when you decide to peel an orange, cut into a grapefruit or drink some detox water that contains lemon or lime, you are consuming loads of antioxidants. Some other good things that come from citrus fruit include the fact that they are a great source of fiber, they contain flavonoids (plant compounds) that promote heart health, and potassium that does all sorts of things, including lowering your risk of high blood pressure and strokes.
Because citrus fruit contains somewhere between 80-90 percent water, it's an excellent way to hydrate your skin. Plus, citrus fruit also contains ascorbic acid that builds collagen in your skin and hair, along with Vitamin C to reduce uneven pigmentation.
(If you're a fan of infused water, try out this refreshing rainbow citrus infused water recipe.)
4. Cucumbers
Another food that has over 90 percent of water in it are cucumbers. Cucumbers contain protein and fiber (1 gram), along with sugar and sodium (2 grams) per serving (cucumbers have Vitamin C, potassium, magnesium, and manganese in them too). Cucumbers also have a lot of antioxidants and micronutrients that help to manage your blood pressure, keep you regular, improve your gut health, strengthen your bones (thanks to the Vitamin K that's in them), and regulate diabetes (if that is an issue for you).
If you eat a cup of cucumber cubes, the ascorbic acid and caffeic acid in them will prevent water retention so that water will flow freely throughout your body. Cucumbers also contain silica, a mineral that reduces eye puffiness and inflammation. Silica, along with the water that's in cucumbers, can help to increase your hair's elasticity as well.
Skin Acne Tip: Slice a couple of cucumbers and rub them directly onto your pimples or acne scars in order to soothe the inflammation and reduce the appearance of marks.
5. Tomato
Although we were taught that tomatoes are a fruit, a lot of us tend to forget that. It's a fruit that made the list because if you cut up even just one and put it into your salad, you'll be getting 40 percent of the Vitamin C that your body requires each and every day. Tomatoes also have the antioxidant lycopene in them; we all need this in order to strengthen our vision. Tomatoes also contain fiber to keep us regular and properties to protect our skin from sun damage (click here to read a great study on how tomatoes are also helpful for diabetes management).
Tomatoes are your skin and hair's friend because they have vitamins A, B, C, and E. These all work together to make your skin supple while reducing breakage and excessive shedding of your tresses. Something else that tomatoes do is boost the production of collagen so that your skin looks "plumper" and your hair is more manageable.
Hair Mask Tip: A mixture of one tomato and two tablespoons of castor oil, applied to your scalp for 1-2 hours, will increase blood circulation, pamper hair follicles, and increase hair growth. (Don't forget to thoroughly rinse it out with cool water in order to seal your cuticles.)
6. Olive Oil
When it comes to the kinds of oils that you should cook with, not all are created equal. As far as the oils that you should absolutely avoid, canola, corn and vegetable oil top the list. On the flip side, an oil that is good for you is olive oil. It contains a monounsaturated fat called oleic acid that protects your body from cancer, antioxidants to reduce your cholesterol levels, anti-inflammatory properties and ingredients that can help to keep type-2 diabetes, heart disease and Alzheimer's disease at bay.
Your skin and hair will love olive oil because of the antioxidants and hydrating squalene (a natural organic compound) that deeply penetrates your pores and follicles. (If you want to know the best kind of olive oils to use, check out "The Best Olive Oils, According to People Who Consume a Lot of It".)
Skin Exfoliation Tip: Mix one-part sea salt and one-part olive oil to create a scrub. Gently massage your clean damp skin with the solution to remove dead skin cells and ultimately even skin tone.
7. Sunflower Seeds
If you like to snack on sunflower seeds, you are doing wonders for your health, whether you realize it or not. The high amounts of selenium, magnesium and Vitamin E make these kinds of seeds good for your heart. Sunflower seeds are also great when it comes to treating inflammation and reducing symptoms that are related to asthma and rheumatoid arthritis. Something else that these seeds do is fight off free radicals, detox your system and, thanks to all of the magnesium that's in them, sunflower seeds can even help to reduce the intensity of headaches.
The Vitamin E that's in sunflower seeds makes it a food that's a fat-soluble antioxidant. What that basically means is these seeds will help to keep your cells healthy. In fact, a cup of sunflower seeds will give you 90 percent of the daily amount of Vitamin E that you need. If you want skin that is youthful and glowing, and hair that has strong follicles, sunflower seeds will definitely help to get you there.
8. Salmon
For starters, salmon contains something that all of us need a consistent amount of—omega-3 fatty acids EPA and DHA. We need these acids in order to decrease inflammation and lower your blood pressure. Salmon is also a wonderful source of protein (something our hair definitely needs). Another wonderful thing about salmon is it's basically an edible B-complex; it also has potassium, selenium and the antioxidant astaxanthin that protects the heart, prevents skin damage, and gives your skin a youthful appearance.
The other good thing about salmon and the omega-3s is the fact that it lubricates your scalp and skin so that you have less brittle hair and dry skin after having it a couple of times a week.
9. Bone Broth
Bone broth is the result of simmering the bones and connective tissue of meat. You can purchase some, usually on the soup aisle of your local grocery store. Or, you can make your own. The reason why you should consider consuming bone broth is it can do wonders for your system. Bone broth is loaded with protein; it can remineralize teeth; strengthen immunity; shorten the lifespan of a cold; build muscle; fight inflammation and is definitely a source of hydration. The more fluid that is in your system, the better, and, because bone broth gives you electrolytes, it's another way to give your skin and hair the moisture that it needs.
By the way, if you're wondering if there is somewhat of a vegetarian alternative for bone broth, indeed there is. You can click here to learn more about it.
10. Red Wine
Let's end this on a super high note, shall we? If you're looking for another reason to enjoy (no more than) 1-1 ½ glasses of wine a day, moisturizing your skin and hair is another. Red wine has antioxidants to boost your immune system, increase your brain power, lower your cholesterol, and resveratrol that will add to your longevity.
Something else that's pretty cool about red wine is the fact that the flavonoids and antioxidants in red wine will produce more of the fibrous structural protein keratin to replenish your hair and skin and fight off free radicals. Red wine also contains polyphenols that will help to prevent cell oxidation. And, of course, red wine's got plenty of water to hydrate your skin and hair from the inside out.
Hair Rinse Tip: If you add a cup of red wine to freshly washed hair and let it sit for 15-20 minutes and do this bi-weekly for two months, you should see a significant reduction in hair shedding and overall hair loss. Yep, you can literally pour red wine all over you and be all the better for it. Enjoy!
Feature image by Getty Images
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
The Final Mercury Retrograde Of 2024 Is Here—How This Bold Energy Will Shift Your Perspective
The final Mercury retrograde of the year arrives this month, and this is an opportunity to close one chapter and prepare for a new one. Mercury retrogrades are the time of the year when you take a step back, assess where your life currently is, and be a little more flexible with how things are playing out for you. When Mercury is in retrograde, miscommunications and misdirections are more likely; however, this isn’t the time to fear where you are headed; it’s more about looking at things from a different perspective right now.
Mercury enters Sagittarius on November 2, will be retrograde from Nov. 25 until Dec. 15, and will be in this sign until Jan. 8, 2025. Mercury in Sagittarius is bold and outspoken but, in retrograde, can come across as impulsive and brash. Thinking before speaking is important right now, and so is considering your values and interests before committing to something new. Since Sagittarius rules long-distance travel, this isn’t the best time to plan a new trip or to rush the ones already in place.
Consider where you want to be, and take your time getting there.
What to Expect from Mercury Retrograde in Sagittarius
A little more than a week after Mercury goes retrograde in Sagittarius, Mars goes retrograde in Leo. With these important transits happening in fire signs, energy can be misdirected right now. It’s about looking at the full picture and not overwhelming yourself with too many options or interests. Take your passions and align them with your heart and willpower, without confusing inspiration with ego. Emotions are running high, yet this activation is creating a breakthrough in personal development before the year ends.
Read below to see how this Mercury retrograde transit will be for you. Read for your sun sign and rising sign.
Your Sun Sign and Rising Sign Horoscopes for Mercury Retrograde in Sagittarius
ARIES
Mercury goes retrograde in Sagittarius, and you are focused on the bigger picture right now, Aries. With Mercury retrograde in your 9th house of adventure over the next few weeks, this is the time to expect the unexpected and to go at your own pace. Don’t rush the clarity that is meant to bloom for you right now, and take things one day at a time.
Even if you don’t have all the answers you need right now, there are still some important truths and insights to gain. You are in the process of reinventing yourself and your life, and the universe is helping you get the space in order to do so. If you are traveling over the next few weeks, remember to be flexible and to go over plans thoroughly.
TAURUS
Mercury goes retrograde, and you enter a time of change and rebirth, Taurus. This transit, for you, is an opportunity to gain balance, perspective, and empowerment. Your commitments and close partnerships are being addressed right now, and you are seeing where your needs are being met and where they aren’t. You are on a journey of letting go and allowing more, and this is the time to focus on being more flexible rather than controlling outcomes.
This retrograde could also be affecting your shared finances and earnings, and this is a good time to take another look at the money coming in and the money going out and make sure things are in order here. Trust your intuition right now, Taurus.
GEMINI
Mercury goes retrograde in your sister sign, Sagittarius, and you are ready for a fresh perspective in love. This retrograde will highlight your 7th house of partnership, connection, romance, and inner harmony, and your heart is figuring things out right now. Confusion or disagreements are more likely within your relationship dynamics, and this is the time to address what your partnerships need.
If you have been feeling out of balance when it comes to love, then this is the time to get things back on track.
This Mercury retrograde is helping you gain a new perspective and reminds you that you deserve the love you are looking for. Use this time to forgive, grow, and use better judgment regarding matters of the heart and the relationships you are building in your life right now.
Coveteur
CANCER
This Mercury retrograde transit for you is a chance to gain some renewed clarity regarding your health, well-being, and work life. You could be feeling more pressure to perform and have it all together on the job, and there is a need to delegate, let go, and take care of your health more right now, Cancer.
This transit will highlight where some cracks are seeping, where you may need to build stronger foundations and healthier daily routines, and also how you can manage a better work/life balance. Your daily lifestyle may feel a little more difficult to find consistency in right now, and this is because new avenues and perspectives are waiting for you to grab ahold of. Overall, use this time to listen to your inner voice and do more of what feels right for you and your body.
LEO
Mercury goes retrograde in Sagittarius, and this transit highlights your 5th house of romance, creativity, passion, and happiness, Leo. This retrograde is an opportunity for you to address what and who makes you happy and how you can show up more for these fortunate experiences in your life. You are looking at if you’ve been making your happiness as much of a priority as it should be this year and also taking a look at what sources help you align with that energy altogether.
This time is about being a little bit more flexible, doing things differently, and being open to a new perspective. Relationship developments are also providing your heart more clarity right now, and you are balancing your needs with the needs of your partnerships and creative ventures.
VIRGO
Your ruling planet Mercury goes retrograde before the year ends, and this is helping you rebuild your foundations, Virgo. Mercury will be retrograde in an area of your life that has to do with your home, history, family, and emotional stability- and you are getting a new grasp on things here.
Where you have been planting your seeds and building for your future are coming up for review during this time, and you are gaining clarity on which of these foundations is stable enough to continue to build upon. You could be feeling less secure than you would like to right now, and this change of pace is helping you reassess your goals and figure out what is worth it for you and the legacy you want to live.
Coveteur
LIBRA
Mercury goes retrograde in Sagittarius, and the focus turns towards your communication channels, Libra. Mercury retro is already a more chaotic time when it comes to communication, and with this retrograde also happening in your 3rd house of insight and communication, you may feel this heaviness a little more right now.
This transit, for you, is about taking your time getting your message across, being patient while traveling and running errands, and giving yourself space to gain some new clarity.
Meditation, journaling, and talking to someone who can support you are therapeutic, and know that your voice deserves to be heard. You are looking at ways you can take up more space and show up in the world without letting your insecurities keep you away from true connection, vulnerability, and understanding.
SCORPIO
This Mercury retrograde is happening in your 2nd house of income, values, assets, and self-confidence, and you are taking a step back to assess your current reality, especially financially, Scorpio. This is a good time to go over your spending habits and earnings, to find greater balance here, and to think about some of your financial goals moving forward.
Look at your resources, skills, and talents, and make sure what you are receiving is equal to or greater than what you have been giving. Less is more right now, and this isn’t the best time to overspend or overindulge, as you need more time to grasp your current stance on things, and how to increase your overall wealth and abundance.
SAGITTARIUS
With this Mercury retrograde happening in your sign, it’s hitting a little closer to home for you, Sagittarius. This is a good time to refine your goals and direction in life and how you want to show up right now. You deserve to be able to change your mind when you need to, and you are thinking about some of the things you have done and what you want to do moving forward.
Miscommunications are more likely while Mercury is in retrograde, but you can use this as a source of empowerment, knowing that you are living in your truth and allowing yourself room to grow in the process. Remember to be a little kinder to yourself during this transit and to give yourself the grace you need right now.
Coveteur
CAPRICORN
This Mercury retrograde for you, Capricorn, is about rest and taking care of your emotional world. You are being given the opportunity to spend more time alone, to gather your strength, and to heal before you enter the new year. A lot has happened, and there have been many changes in your world this year. This Mercury retrograde is here to help you find acceptance and closure.
You are in a preparation stage right now, and things can feel a little more lonesome in this energy, but with a different perspective, you can see just how much of this space your heart truly needs right now. The past is coming up for you to see things in a new light, and you are ready to gain some renewed insight, closure, and healing.
AQUARIUS
This Mercury retrograde highlights your friendships, community, and your hopes and dreams, Aquarius. You are being reminded of the importance of connection, but more significantly, of good connections. You are looking at who and what surrounds you right now and gaining clarity on whether this energy matches who you are and the things that you stand for.
Your social circle and the people around you are shifting as the power dynamics do, and you are finding your place and purpose amidst this change. It’s about identifying who and what makes you feel good and aligning things in your life to bring in more of that energy. Don’t be discouraged right now; find your people and ask for support.
PISCES
Your career and ambitions are the focus during this Mercury retrograde, Pisces. You have a lot to address here, and you are gathering your skills and talents and reminding yourself that you are worthy of your dreams. Miscommunications and setbacks are more likely within your professional world, but they are here to ask you if what you are striving for, is really what you need right now.
You are thinking a lot about how you show up in the world, what you want to be known for, and what successes you still want to obtain. This isn’t the time to let anyone’s idea or vision of you define who you are; rather, define that for yourself. Show up as you want to be seen, and don’t count yourself out right now, Pisces.
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The Holiday Bedroom Debate: Sleeping Together, Apart, Or Not At All?
I can’t speak for everyone, but my grandmother has strict rules around who can share a bed at her house. No one will ever be “shacking up” under her roof, so for me and her other grandchildren, that means leaving your boyfriend/girlfriend at home or footing the bill for a hotel during an already costly holiday season. Even for family members who have more liberal house rules, sharing a home with my parents will ensure a silent night for us all.
The holidays bring joy, connection, and quality time with loved ones—but they can also put a damper on intimacy for couples. It’s hard to get your jingle bells rocked when you have family sleeping under the same roof. Family visits and hosting obligations often disrupt intimacy, raising questions like: Should we have sex when relatives are in the next room? Should we follow traditional family rules about sleeping arrangements? How can we even find the time to have sex? And how do we balance respecting traditions with honoring our relationship?
Navigating these dynamics can be particularly challenging when we factor in cultural, familial, and sometimes religious expectations. Sharing space with family doesn’t have to send you into a dry spell. Here’s a guide to maintaining intimacy and harmony during holiday gatherings so that presents aren’t the only thing getting unwrapped this Christmas.
Grandma Says “No Shacking Up!” and Other Common Challenges
So we know that many families with conservative values may not want unmarried couples sleeping in bed together. They may not even like the idea of married couples having sex while family is visiting. Danielle Simpson-Baker, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, explains that “limited privacy, cultural or family-imposed rules, and differing expectations about behavior in shared spaces can lead to disconnection.”
Stress from hosting or visiting family, paired with packed schedules, can exacerbate these feelings and leave little time for you to connect with your loved one. Stress on its own is a known libido killer, but when paired with complicated family dynamics, you can be sure that sex will be a low priority. Who has time anyway? We’re hosting!
For unmarried couples, family norms often add an extra layer of complexity. Catherine Drysdale, a Sex and Relationship Coach, notes, “The holidays can disrupt intimacy in all the usual ways—shared bedrooms, squeaky beds, and not-so-subtle interruptions. Add in the pressure to appear as the perfect couple in front of relatives, and emotional and physical connection often takes a backseat.” Put all of this together, and you have the perfect recipe for low desire and anxiety around sex.
Couples may also be nervous that family will hear them if they decide to do more than just kiss under the mistletoe. The supposed embarrassment alone can keep lovers from even attempting to be intimate, even if they really want to.
How To Navigate? Communicate and Set Expectations
Communication is lubrication, so having an open dialogue with your partner before the holidays is essential.
Discuss potential discomforts and agree on boundaries. “Ask questions like: Are we okay abstaining from sex for a few days? How do we feel about sharing a bed if it’s against family rules?” advises Simpson-Baker. Being on the same page means you can present a united front to family when the time comes and avoid any conflict.
Drysdale suggests creating a “yes/no/maybe” list to clarify comfort levels. “The goal is to avoid surprises or misunderstandings once you’re there,” she explains. Setting an intention for the trip—whether it’s prioritizing family harmony or finding small moments to connect—can also help. No matter what people may think, sex is important! It’s okay to prioritize intimacy, even during the holidays.
Respect Family Rules While Honoring Your Relationship
While it is important to communicate with your partner before settling in with family, balancing their expectations with yours can be a delicate, but necessary, dance. Simpson-Baker emphasizes the importance of balance: “Minor compromises—like sleeping separately—don’t define the strength of your relationship. At the same time, if certain boundaries feel overly restrictive, couples can advocate for themselves respectfully.” This is where being a united front comes in. Getting clear on what feels acceptable to you and your partner ahead of time will help these tough conversations go a bit smoother.
It may also help to talk to your family before the holiday celebrations begin. Gwen Walsh, a Sex Educator and Consultant, shares a personal example: “I communicated with my mom why it was important to me to sleep in the same bed as my partner. I asked her to give me an opportunity to earn her trust. After a long conversation, she agreed to compromise.” While this approach isn’t guaranteed to work in every situation, it highlights the value of respectful communication.
Creative Ways To Maintain Intimacy While Visiting Family
When family doesn’t budge or if you just decide it is not that big of a deal, there are still ways to prioritize intimacy. If privacy for physical intimacy isn’t possible, focus on emotional and non-sexual forms of connection. Simpson-Baker suggests small gestures like “squeezing each other’s hand under the table or sharing a quiet conversation at night.” Small gestures still matter and can help couples maintain a sense of normalcy.
Sexologist Natassia Miller also highlights the importance of daily rituals. “Prioritize non-sexual touch. A long hug or a six-second kiss can maintain your connection and decrease stress levels,” she advises. These small daily rituals can also serve as a form of extended foreplay, setting you up for an explosive connection when the holidays are done.
The Bigger Picture
While holiday dynamics can feel overwhelming, it’s important to remember that these moments are temporary. Whether you’re sneaking in a private conversation during a walk or laughing together over a family tradition, small acts of connection can sustain your relationship through the chaos.
Ultimately, as Walsh puts it, “Your partnership exists in its own unique context. Lead with empathy, honesty, and respect, and you’ll find a way to navigate even the most challenging family dynamics.”
This holiday season, embrace the opportunity to grow together as a couple while navigating the complexities of family dynamics. With thoughtful communication, creativity, and a united front, you can honor your relationship and still enjoy the festive chaos of the holidays.
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