

One of the best things about living in Music City (Nashville has that name due to the Fisk Jubilee Singers NOT country music, by the way) is you can’t help but have at least a few musician friends regardless of what you do for a living. Since I came from a music industry family and I worked in entertainment media for many years, that ups my count significantly. And one of the really fun things about hanging with music folks is you’re gonna find yourself talking about songs that you probably haven’t thought about in years.
For instance, an impromptu game that some of my peeps like to play is “What’s the best song?” for different topics. I’ll explain. Like infidelity? A top fave of mine is “Everything I Miss at Home” by Cherelle. A man who you can’t seem to get over? “How Can I Ease the Pain” by Lisa Fischer. Fellatio (yeah, I said it)? Yep — got one for that too; it’s by one of 615’s best Shannon Sanders and it’s off of a project he did way back in 1999 (fun fact: the original version of Heather Headley’s hit from back in the day, “In My Mind” is on it). The song? “Interstate.” Unfortunately, he never did a visual for it, so I’m gonna share another one that hits the mark: Usher’s “Good Kisser.”
Usher - Good Kisserwww.youtube.com
As I was rewatching it, I realized that aside from the cutie pie with the freckles (Black women with freckles look dope), I think what makes the video so visually appealing is all of the different lips that are showcased…wouldn’t you agree?
And that’s why I thought it would be a perfect way to intro this article. Because, thanks to it and a company called Bijoux Indiscrets that sells a product that they call Oral Pleasure · Oral Sex Lip Gloss, I’ve been inspired to share why, if you want to become an oral sex master yourself, there is something that you need; something that you’ve probably underestimated as being absolutely essential.
What could that be? You saw the title: lip gloss.
Lips Play a Bigger Role in Oral Pleasure than People Think
I’m not sure if this will surprise any of you or not yet are you aware that, reportedly, only 28 percent of women like to go down on men? For shame, for shame because, while I personally don’t think that it’s something that should be done randomly or casually (you can get an STI/STD from oral sex too, people), if you’re willing to participate in coitus, the experience can only be that much better if you’re both down to…get down (if you know what I mean).
Anyway, because a lot of my life consists of writing and talking about sex — and more specifically, how to make it more satisfying for all parties involved — I oftentimes interview people on various sexual topics. And when oral sex comes up, something that both men and women say is, that lips play just as much of a starring role as tongues do.
In fact, not too long ago, a guy told me, “Technique is important but what is even more important is a woman who’s enthusiastic about giving head and has really soft lips. That takes sh—t to another level.”
And you know something that can get you smooth lips that feel absolutely amazing? Lip gloss. Well, to be thorough, first you should exfoliate your lips with a lip scrub (or toothbrush) and then you should apply some lip gloss to them. Why? I’ll be more than happy to break it all down for you.
Lip Gloss Is Sexy AF
If there are two things that I have too much of, it’s sneakers and lip gloss. When it comes to the latter, I like it because it’s a low-maintenance way to make my very full lips (thanks Dad for giving me those) appear sexy as hell (because I don’t have to worry about the smudging or smearing of lipstick; more on that in a bit). How do I know? Because it’s rare that I’m out and someone doesn’t compliment me on my lips, the kind of lip gloss that I have on, or both. And since it’s been reported before that men are drawn to a woman’s lips more than any other facial feature that she has — why wouldn’t you want to apply something that will make yours appear wet, sultry, and super alluring? Lip gloss can make that happen.
Lip Gloss Reduces Dehydration
From a functional standpoint, lip gloss is bomb because it can help your lips to retain moisture. This is good to know if you’re going to be outdoors for hours on end; however, this article is about oral sex, and since we’re all grown — when you’re performing fellatio (if you’re doing it right anyway), quite a bit of saliva is going to be involved. And since spit contains enzymes that can actually dry out your lips and cause them to feel chapped…none of that works in the giver or receiver’s favor. So yeah, if you want to keep your lips in good shape during the umm, process, lip gloss should definitely be applied beforehand.
Lip Gloss Is More “Convenient” than Lipstick
Since I already told you in the intro that Shannon’s song is about a man getting head and the title of it is “Interstate,” I’m sure you can just about guess where it all went down at, right? You know, it’s interesting that when I talk to some of my female clients about why they are hesitant to be more spontaneous when it comes to sex (including oral sex), they usually say something along the lines of they don’t want everyone in their business. Well, when it comes to lips, specifically, one way to be (more) discreet is to apply lip gloss instead of lipstick.
Like I said earlier, there’s no smudging, no smearing and you can easily reapply it after all is said and done and no one will have to know anything that you don’t want them to know. In fact, another reason why I’m super fond of lip gloss is when I go out to eat, I don’t have to worry about how my lips look after the meal; they pretty much look the same as before and if I want a bit more sheen, I can just put another layer of gloss on without even the need of a mirror. Perfect.
Use Flavored Lip Gloss
Okay, so now that we’ve gotten some of the practical points about lip gloss out of the way, let me share a few ways that it can make the act itself so much more pleasurable for you both. As far as flavored gloss goes, if you’re someone who’s a bit shy when it comes to sperm/semen even in its pre-ejaculate stage if you apply a gloss that tastes like cherries, pineapple, or peach, that can mask some of the his “naturalness” so that it doesn’t wreck your flow — or his.
Add Some Cinnamon Oil to Your Lip Gloss
If you’re all about creating a surprising sensation, you’ve got to bring some cinnamon oil into the mix. If you go with a high-quality brand, it will be sweet to the taste to you while providing a warm and sensual tingling feel for him. I’m actually such a fan of it that I gave it a shout-out in the article, “10 Ways To Have An 'Extra Sweet' Vagina” that I also once penned for the platform because, if you apply it to your vulva (not vagina, please), it can be a sweet treat for him as well. Will it burn? Nah. Well, let me put a disclaimer on that: quality cinnamon oil means that a little bit goes a really long way. So, as long as you’re not dumping a ton of it on either set of your lips, you should be more than fine.
Play Around with Some Glow in the Dark Lip Gloss
You learn something new every day, right? What might trip you out today is one poll revealed that when men are in a relationship, they prefer to have sex in the dark while women prefer the lights to be turned up (hmph). For now, what I’ll say about that is although great sex should include all five senses in action when you remove one, that can amplify the others. That said, if you can relate to this and either you and/or your partner like the lights to be off (or dim), how about some glow-in-the-dark lip gloss? It’s fun. It’s sexy. And it’s something that I can almost guarantee that your partner won’t see coming (umm, no pun intended!).
Prevent Afterplay Discomfort with Lip Gloss
Because lip gloss adds moisture, enhances the appearance of your lips, maintains a smooth texture, and helps to keep your lips feeling nice and comfortable — it’s definitely something that you should keep by your nightstand for after you blow his mind (again, no pun intended). See it as a way of rewarding your lips for all of their good…service.
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All this from lip gloss. Yep…all of this from lip gloss. And now that I’ve hopefully hyped you up, how about sending your man a text with a pic of a tube of lip gloss? Ask him to guess why. Then surprise him with the answer the next time you see him.
I bet he’ll never see a tube of gloss the same way…ever again.
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'Sistas' Star Skyh Black On The Power Of Hypnotherapy & Emotional Vulnerability For Men
In this insightful episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Sistas star Skyh Black, as he opened up about his journey of emotional growth, resilience, and self-discovery. The episode touches on emotional availability, self-worth, masculinity, and the importance of therapy in overcoming personal struggles.
Skyh Black on Emotional Availability & Love
On Emotional Availability & Vulnerability
“My wife and I wouldn't be where we are today if both of us weren't emotionally available,” he shared about his wife and Sistas co-star KJ Smith, highlighting the value of vulnerability and emotional openness in a relationship. His approach to masculinity stands in contrast to the traditional, stoic ideals. Skyh is not afraid to embrace softness as part of his emotional expression.
On Overcoming Self-Doubt & Worthiness Issues
Skyh reflected on the self-doubt and worthiness issues that he struggled with, especially early in his career. He opens up about his time in Los Angeles, living what he calls the “LA struggle story”—in a one-bedroom with three roommates—and being homeless three times over the span of 16 years. “I always had this self-sabotaging thought process,” Skyh said. “For me, I feel therapy is essential, period. I have a regular therapist and I go to a hypnotherapist.”
How Therapy Helped Him Heal From Self-Doubt
On Hypnotherapy & Empowering Self-Acceptance
Skyh’s journey is a testament to the power of tapping into self-development despite life’s struggles and being open to growth. “I had to submit to the fact that God was doing good in my life, and that I'm worthy of it. I had a worthiness issue and I did not realize that. So, that’s what the hypnotherapy did. It brought me back to the core. What is wrong so that I can fix it?”
Watch the full podcast episode below:
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Skyh Black Says Wife KJ Smith "Saved The Second Part Of My Life"
Before the red carpets, acting gigs, and coupled-up photo ops with his wife KJ Smith, Skyh Black was grinding through self-doubt, LA struggle story, and the kind of inner questioning that has broken the spirit of many Hollywood dreamers.
Most of us might recognize the Miami-born actor for his breakout roles on Tyler Perry’s Sistas and All The Queen’s Men, but for Skyh, the road to success wasn’t easy. On this week's episode of xoMAN, the actor opened up about his Hollywood come-up, what he had to heal to get there, and the woman who not only saw him, but made him feel the safest he's ever felt.
"She Saved The Second Part Of My Life": Skyh Black On Finding Safety In Love
"I love, like that is my lifeline," Skyh said of KJ Smith, his wife and fellow actor. "I really feel she saved the second part of my life."
The two met while filming Sistas, but as Skyh shared with xoMAN host Kiara Walker, their love didn't actually blossom until later. "People think we got together there, but we didn’t even get together—we got together outside," he explained. "At that time, we were both in LA. So she called me right after I booked All the Queens Men. And she said, ‘Hey’—she DM'd me," he laughs. "She slid in the DMs. She did."
Watch the full podcast episode here:
From DMs To Soulmates: How Skyh & KJ’s Love Story Began
That DM turned into a three-hour phone call, a Malibu picnic first date, and the beginning of a love story that’s still unfolding, now with a baby on the way. “She did not let me get none that night,” Skyh joked, “But we have not been apart since the 7th of January. 2021.”
Their relationship, much like their careers, is deeply intertwined. The couple has a coffee brand together (BLACK. Coffee), a production company, and will soon star in an upcoming film. "It's going to be interesting," Skyh said of the forthcoming project. "We know each other so well. And we know each other's weaknesses, and we also know each other-- we're not nice to each other," he laughed. "We love each other too much to be nice to each other... when we're working."
When asked by Kiara if that dynamic ever gets annoying, Skyh didn’t hesitate: "Not at all. I've never met anybody that knows me better than me and knows what's better for me than me."
On How He Knew She Was His One
Skyh Black and KJ Smith
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There’s a depth to how Skyh talks about KJ that feels rare and moving, even from the outside looking in. "That is such a loaded question," he said when asked how he knew she was the one. "I mean, K is like. It's just like, it doesn't not make sense. It's just kinda like, 'That's the love of my life, bro.' I don't know, I just feel so safe."
And it shows. "Every little instance it's like a twinkle in your eye," Kiara pointed out during the interview. "I wish she was here," Skyh said with a smile.
At a time when vulnerability from Black men is still often seen as taboo, Skyh’s transparency is refreshing af. But it also serves as a reminder that real love can be healing, collaborative, and deeply affirming.
And as he enters a new chapter as a husband, actor, entrepreneur, and soon-to-be father (Baby Black is loading), it’s clear Skyh isn’t just surviving Hollywood, he’s building a legacy with his love right by his side.
Want more of Skyh’s love story, career gems, and what keeps him grounded? Catch the full episode of the xoMAN now streaming on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or YouTube.
Featured image by Shutterstock