In addition to the fact that I can now proudly say that my dream job is my day job and vice versa, since becoming Managing Editor, my wish to work from home has been fully actualized in the process. With the rise in prominence of remote work, more and more of us are indulging in the inclusive ability to clock into our 9 to 5s while rocking our PJs and "bumming" it on the couch. It's a blessing I don't take lightly because I've worked through some crazy-long commutes, paid for lunches daily (which added up and caused me to gain the Office 20 in the process), and depending on where you work, investing in a wardrobe is a requirement that's no easy (or budget-friendly) feat.
However, while convenient AF and cost-effective as hell, working from home is not without its drawbacks. Although I don't struggle with productivity, in my work from home life, I do sometimes teeter the boundaries between work life and home life, as well as being faithful to a routine. But in the past year, I've gained some valuable insight and tips on how to rock this work from home life. Check them out below.
Establish Work/Home (Life) Boundaries
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You know the workaholic who loves to work and, in that regards, puts their pleasure over matter? I'm totally that girl. I've always known I had the potential to be a workaholic, but I really became privy to my somewhat dangerous habit when I started working from home. That tendency of course lent itself to how I went about my day and often, that meant not allowing there to be clear boundaries between when I worked and when I lived because of how blurred those lines were.
I would wake up, unlock my phone, open my email app, and start work before I even brushed my teeth or washed my face. I'd feel obligated to work whenever I was near my laptop. I'd feel obligated to work whenever I got a text message or read a message while I was out for a couple of hours. That's not the way to live, sis. Since then, I've made it a point to draw clearer lines between Work Sheriden and Home Sheriden. Work Sheriden now only works when she considers herself ON. I "clock in" and I "clock out", and once I've clocked out, I don't have to feel like I'm in work mode just because my home is my office.
Create A Space You Love Working In
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If you're going to set up shop in your home, you might as well make it an inviting space to be in. I don't have a traditional office sectioned off. Instead, I work from my couch. Sometimes, I offset the monotony with a seat at my desk in my bedroom, but let's face it, a couch is so much kinder to the body.
I like to set the mood with a bit of aromatherapy to help calm my senses by having soy candles burning. Lavender anything is a favorite of mine and has healing properties that include improving the mood, treating stress, migraines, and anxiety, as well as stimulating the brain. Music is another favorite of mine. My Feel Good playlist is such a vibe-setter and can definitely add some life into an otherwise quiet space. Podcasts and interviews are also great audio-stimulators that provide motivating ambience while I work.
Be Loyal To A Routine
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A routine will be your best friend and your greatest ally when working from home. I don't have my day super detailed to the T, but there are some things that are mainstays – twice-a-week meetings and a once a week mandatory check-in call are examples of that. Additionally, there are tasks that stay the same throughout my week too. I've learned to do my best to adhere to a to-do list for the most part when it comes to tackling the day-to-day tasks and leaving room to give my energy to other things as they come up.
Perhaps even more important than that, was my commitment of keeping certain elements of my day the same and making sure to create a routine out of it:
6:30 a.m. – Wake up, wake up
6:30-7:30 a.m. – Relaxing in bed, sometimes doing nothing, sometimes reading, sometimes just catching up on a show or two that I like
7:30-8:30 a.m. – Brush my teeth, wash my face, shower, and make some breakfast
8:30 a.m. – I usually begin my workday around now, even though I prefer to wait until 9
8:30 a.m.-12 p.m. – Editing, uploading, writing, emails, meeting(s)
The remainder of my day follows that rhythm with the occasional hour break to eat and fit in a quick workout routine. My work day usually ends around 8, 10:00 at the latest. Having some sort of semblance of a routine allows me to understand my day in pieces versus being overwhelmed by anxiety of always being go, go, go and do, do, do.
Isolate Time For Meaningful Breaks
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As you can see in the aforementioned tip, I really value my breaks. When I worked traditional desk jobs, I was accustomed to the obligatory 15- to 30-minute breaks companies allot their employees but I didn't realize how easy it would be to forget all about those necessary pauses when I was doing what I love full-time. For the first few months (read: six months), I forgot to pause.
I'd work 12- to 14-hour days, barely stopping for bathroom breaks but my daily water intake wouldn't let me. So, you can imagine that lack of care went double for making the time to eat. When I'm busy, it's very easy to forget to eat and a couple of hours can quickly turn to five without me even realizing it. But it is vital that you isolate time for breaks. Thus, nowadays, I try to have a minimum of three half-hour breaks each day.
Unplug. Chat with a friend. Take a walk. Read. Cook for yourself. Whatever you do, place your work day on a time out and do so as frequently as you need to.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
How I Make My Home A Sacred Space For Productivity
8 Realities About Working From Home
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There is quite a bit of science to back this up too. For instance, physical touch can lower stress and boost immunity. Physical touch makes us calmer and more compassionate. Physical touch reduces pain and anxiety. Physical touch helps to cultivate emotional intimacy with other people. Physical touch creates comfort and pleasure. Bottom line, physical touch does so much for us which is why we should learn as much about it as we possibly can.
That’s not to say that all of us desire to be touched in the same fashion, though. For example, did you know that there is quite a bit of research to support the fact that men and women (overall) long to be touched in different ways?
In the effort that we all become more “fluently effective” when it comes to how we “speak” the language of physical touch to those around us (especially when it comes to our partner), let’s explore how a man wants to be touched vs. how a woman prefers to be.
Men and Women Are Different. Even When It Comes to Touch. Why, Though?
GiphyBefore I get into some things that I discovered about men and women when it comes to where they prefer to be touched and how those places differ from one another, first let’s — pardon the pun — touch on why there is even a difference in the first place. Apparently, because women’s fingers are naturally softer, they are better when it comes to touch discrimination. What is that? Touch discrimination is basically having the ability to tell the difference between different types of touch sensations. And this is probably a big part of the reason why research also says that when compassion, anger, or happiness is conveyed through touch, men and women tend to respond/react a bit differently as well.
Case in point: One study stated that when two men try to convey compassion through touch, it doesn’t really resonate well, although men can detect anger, even through the slightest touch, extraordinarily well. And happiness? Well, when two women are sharing that feeling through touch, it is clearly conveyed — meanwhile, between a man and a woman or two men? Yeah, not so much.
The thought process for these three emotions is, when it comes to compassion because women have been the prominent caregivers throughout history, they have “mastered” the ability to express it. Anger? Remember, men are good at detecting it — studies say that it’s because they tend to feel and express anger more often; I’d venture to say that being protectors and providers requires being aware of that emotion far more often as well. Happiness? Reportedly, women tend to be happier more often than men are and they also convey their emotions, openly, more than men do too.
How Men Feel About Physical Touch (Overall)
GiphyOkay, so when it comes to unique things about men and women as it relates to touch, let’s start with the fellas, out the gate. I wanna do that because, when I was doing my research on all of this, I immediately came across something that proved what I just said in the intro. What part in particular? Did you know that, even when it comes to truly platonic friendships, men still wish that their female friends would engage in physical touch more than women do (via their male friends)?
That’s because, even when it comes to intimacy among friends, physical touch displays trust and a feeling of closeness — and research says that men find that to be valuable. And so yes, this does amplify the point that physical touch and the need for it go well beyond sexual intimacy.
Still, I’m sure that it comes as absolutely no surprise that if you were to ask a group of men and women who prefer the love language of physical touch more, it’s going to be men (especially if they are over the age of 45). And while there are many theories for why this is the case, mine is that, since men are traditionally known and expected to be providers and protectors and that is hard work, I think they feel safe, reassured, seen, validated and deeply cared for through physical touch. It’s a way for them to get “off of the clock” from using touch to take care of others to being touched in a nurturing way.
Some other interesting things about men and touch is, although women seem to be more at ease with being touched overall, guys are more comfortable with being touched by strangers, especially in a flirty way (in part, because they process it as a potential for “opportunity” — read between the lines there), they prefer women touching them over being touched by men and they are known to initiate touch more if who they are touching is a woman.
And what about touch as it relates to sexual intimacy? Well, according to science, while both men and women enjoy their genital region, lips, ears, shoulders, and inner thighs to be caressed, men also respond to the back of their legs to be touched while women barely even acknowledge that part of their body (in this way). Men also consider their hands to be an erogenous zone far more than women do. It should also be noted that men are more aroused by touching their partner than being touched by them.
How Women Feel About Physical Touch (Overall)
GiphySo, what about women and touch? Well, something that is associated with women quite a bit is affective touch. If you’re not familiar with what that is, affective touch is all about having the ability to touch in a way that cultivates feeling and emotion. Not only do women tend to be better at doing it, but they also find it to be a more pleasurable experience than men do. Research says that this is because of the fact that, overall, women have had more positive experiences, as it related to touch than men.
Something else that is interesting about affective touch is women who express themselves through touch are typically considered to be more affectionate and trusting as opposed to men who touch a lot. And so, since women like to give affective touch, they are also highly responsive to it — and that could explain why women like to touch and be touched (like reaching out to touch someone’s hand) when someone is sharing their thoughts and feelings with them.
Another thing to note about women and touch is because their pain perception is a lot more sensitive than men’s, even slight adjustments in touch (pressure, temperature shifts in body parts, etc.) will affect them in a way that won’t affect men. When it comes to sexual intimacy, specifically, this could explain why even a slight shift in touch can bring a woman into or take a woman out of the mood far easier and quicker than it would a guy’s.
Something else that should go on record here is how women respond to touch based on their menstrual cycle. For instance, when a woman is ovulating, she tends to be more sensitive to touch; plus, she also finds kissing to be more of a priority. Meanwhile, the drastic shifts in hormones during menopause and postmenopause can make women less sensitive to touch.
As far as sex and sexual stimulation go, women reportedly like to be touched more than to touch. Also, when a man looks into a woman’s eyes while touching her, that increases her arousal levels significantly (men prefer women to gaze at their genitalia; not sure if anyone is shocked there — LOL). Places where they prefer to be touched include their breasts, neck, and butt; some even say that they can orgasm just from being stimulated in those spots (along with their lips and ears). As far as the type of touch that is most effective for women during copulation, oral reigns.
And what about how men feel about oral sex? Well, I once read an article that said that 27 percent of the male participants in their study would rather get some fellatio tonight than receive a raise, so…you do the math. LOL (while we’re on the topic of oral sex, a little over 50 percent of men and women find it to be more intimate than intercourse and consider refusal to engage to be a relationship deal-breaker. Agreed).
GiphyOkay, so with all of this intel on how men and women differ in the touch department, what does all of this even mean? To me, it’s a blaring reminder that even something as simple as touching has billions of layers to it — that even though touch is something that we all need, the art of it is something that must be studied and mastered; especially when it comes to interacting with the opposite sex and even more so when that person is our partner.
And yet, we shouldn’t take this information lightly because, when you (again) factor in all of the ways that touch is holistically beneficial…just imagine how much better intimacy would be, on all levels, if we respected how people prefer to be touched more often.
A poet by the name of John Keats once said, “Touch has a memory.” Think about that the next time you reach out to touch someone — and they reach out to touch you. Then ask yourself: what memories do you want them to have? What memories do you want to keep?
How can all of this data help to make that happen?
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Featured image by Giphy