
Solo, But Never Alone: How Solo Travel Empowers Women To Rediscover Themselves

I wear many hats: mom, daughter, older sister, mentor, friend, and founder of HERide, Atlanta’s #1 female-friendly rideshare company. But above all these roles, I am a Black woman navigating life with resilience and grace.
Embracing Self-Love After Heartbreak
Let’s be honest: breakups suck, and no matter how long ago you went through one, the lingering effects can sometimes last for what feels like a lifetime. Embracing self-love after a breakup is a crucial step toward healing, and solo travel can be a powerful catalyst for this journey.
At one point, I thought being in love meant adapting to my partner's needs, but in the process, I shrunk myself until I was no longer recognizable.
Traveling alone gave me the space and freedom to rediscover who I am outside of a relationship. It allowed me to appreciate my own company, fall in love with myself all over again, and rewrite my story on my terms.
Through solo adventures, I found strength, joy, and a renewed sense of self-worth that prepared me to re-enter the dating world with confidence and a deep appreciation for my own happiness.
Courtesy
The Transformative Power of Solo Travel
I recently returned from my first major solo travel adventure, celebrating my 30th birthday in Asia. Over the course of two weeks, I explored Bali, Thailand, and Seoul, Korea. This trip was more than just a vacation; it was a celebration of my growth, independence, and resilience.
Solo travel has taught me numerous valuable lessons. It has pushed me out of my comfort zone, allowing me to discover new cultures, meet incredible people, and, most importantly, reconnect with myself.
Each destination presented unique challenges and joys, from navigating language barriers in Thailand to experiencing the serene beauty of Bali's rice terraces. These experiences have deepened my appreciation for the world and my place within it.
Courtesy
Traveling alone as a Black woman can sometimes feel daunting, but it has also been empowering. It has reminded me of my strength and capability. In moments of solitude, I have found clarity and peace, far from the hustle and bustle of daily life.
This freedom has been instrumental in my journey toward self-discoveryand personal growth. Here are a few ways solo travel has been transformative for me and why I believe it can be for you too:
- Rediscovering Yourself: Traveling alone allows you to step away from your daily routine and the roles you play in other people's lives. It's a chance to listen to your own thoughts and desires without external influences. This space can lead to profound self-discovery and personal growth.
- Building Confidence: Navigating new countries, cultures, and languages on your own can significantly boost your confidence. Each challenge you overcome is a testament to your strength and resilience.
- Making Uncompromised Choices: When you travel solo, you make all the decisions. You don't have to cater to anyone else's preferences or schedules. This autonomy can be incredibly liberating and empowering.
- Meeting New People: Solo travel often opens doors to meeting new people. Without the safety net of a travel companion, you're more likely to strike up conversations with locals and fellow travelers, leading to enriching interactions and friendships.
Courtesy
Breaking Free from Hustle Culture
In today’s society, there is a pervasive culture of hustle and constant productivity. We are often made to feel that our worth is tied to how busy we are and how much we achieve. However, this mindset can be detrimental to our mental health and overall well-being. It’s important to remember that rest and self-care are just as valuable as hard work.
Solo travel is a powerful antidote to hustle culture. It allows us to step back from our daily routines, disconnect from work, and focus on our personal growth. Traveling alone gives us the space to recharge, reflect, and realign our priorities. It reminds us that life is not just about work and achievements but also about joy, adventure, and self-discovery.
Courtesy
Practical Tips for Solo Female Travelers
To make the most of your solo travel experience, here are some practical tips:
- Plan Ahead: Research your destination thoroughly. Know the safest neighborhoods, the local customs, and any potential risks. Having a solid plan can alleviate a lot of anxiety.
- Stay Connected: Keep in touch with family or friends back home. Share your itinerary and check in regularly. This not only keeps you safe but also provides peace of mind to your loved ones.
- Trust Your Instincts: If something doesn’t feel right, trust your gut. Whether it’s avoiding certain areas or turning down offers that seem too good to be true, your intuition is a powerful tool.
- Pack Light: Traveling light can make your journey more comfortable and less stressful. It also makes it easier to move around and stay mobile.
- Embrace Technology: Use travel apps to navigate, book accommodations, and find local attractions. Technology can be a great ally in ensuring a smooth travel experience.
- Stay Aware: Be mindful of your surroundings. Avoid distractions like excessive phone use in public places, and always stay alert.
Courtesy
Conclusion: Take the Leap
As I reflect on my journey, I am reminded of the importance of taking the leap. Solo travel has taught me that the world is full of possibilities and that the most important journey is the one we take within ourselves. Whether you are seeking adventure, self-discovery, or simply a break from the routine, solo travel can be a powerful catalyst for change.
So, to all my sisters out there: take the leap. Embrace the unknown. Rediscover yourself one solo journey at a time. Travel safely, travel confidently, and never forget that you are enough.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image courtesy
Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
Watch the full episode below:
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
Calling All Lovers: October London, Tamar Braxton & Ro James Deliver A Soulful Serenade
If there was ever a night to pull out your best leather jacket, call up an old flame, and lean into your soft, sultry era, The October Nights: Calling All Lovers tour was it.
Presented by Black Promoters Collective, the show brought an evening of lush vocals, smooth grooves, and unapologetic grown-folks business to Atlanta—with Ro James, Tamar Braxton, and the man of the hour, October London, leading the charge. The energy? Sensual. The vibe? Intoxicating (literally and figuratively—more on that in a minute).
Ro James kicked off the night with his signature raspy vocals and a cool confidence that immediately set the tone. While “Permission” was the undeniable crowd favorite (with couples slow-dancing in their seats and people swaying with their phones in the air), he also dug deeper into his catalog, delivering seductive mid-tempos and moody ballads that reminded us he’s not a one-hit wonder—he’s a whole vibe.
Next up, Tamar Braxton took the stage with diva energy and vocal acrobatics that had the crowd on their feet. Her set was a perfect mix of emotion and edge—songs like “My Man,” “All the Way Home,” and “Love & War” hit every heartstring, but she didn’t stop there.
Tamar tapped into her earlier work, showing her full vocal range and reminding everyone that she’s one of the most powerful voices of her generation. Between tracks, she got personal with the audience, sharing laughs and stories like we were all cousins at the family reunion.
Oh—and in case you missed it: “Braxtons are coming back.” 👀 Consider that a soft launch if we’ve ever heard one.
Then came the velvet king himself: October London.
From the moment he stepped on stage, it felt like time slowed down. Backed by a silky live band and powerhouse background vocalists The Shindellas — Kaso, Stacy, and Tam, October’s set was pure R&B indulgence.
He opened with songs like “She Keeps Calling” and “Make Me Wanna,” blending retro soul with modern sensuality. Every note was intentional, every lyric soaked in emotion.
“Touch On Me” and “3rd Shift” had the crowd in a trance, while “Lovers Interlude” and “You Look Better” brought things to a tender, candlelit close.
And because this is October London we’re talking about—of course, he came with the charm. “If I come down there and sing with you,” he teased one woman in the front row, “you gon’ get pregnant.” The entire room screamed.
He also took a moment to introduce his newest venture—a signature whiskey that he’s currently promoting on tour. Smooth music, smooth vocals, smooth whiskey? A trifecta for the grown and sexy.
To top off the night, there was even a surprise pop-up from Tyrese, sending the crowd into full nostalgic overload.
By the end of the night, it was clear: this wasn’t just a concert—it was a love letter to R&B. The October Nights: Calling All Lovers tour captured the essence of grown-up intimacy, storytelling, and soul. No gimmicks. Just real voices, real feelings, and really good music.
If October London is the future of modern soul, we’re all in.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Geoffrey Clowes/ Shutterstock