

If there’s one thing that I find at least one good reason to be audibly thankful for, pretty much on a daily basis, it’s my male friends. There are a billion-and-one reasons why yet, as it pertains to this particular article, it’s the cavalier nonchalance that was sprinkled with some effortless confidence that came directly from one of them.
Context: As I was catching up with my friend and they were asking me what I male-related topics I had covered as of late, I told him that folks keep asking me about the whole “6-6-6 man” thing (check out “Okay, So Here's What You Need To Know About the '6-6-6' Man”). I audibly laughed when he said, “I’ve got all three but barely on that big d-ck s-it. I’ve never had a problem with that, so I don’t get what the big deal is.” Like I said, my friends are bomb…and sometimes they tell me more than I want to know but it all balances itself out in the end. LOL.
Anyway, for those of you who may be like, “Yeah, it’s easy for him to think that. Women fake all of the time.” Indeed some do; also, some men fake as well (check out “Men Fake Orgasms (And 14 Other Semi-Random Things About Them In Bed)”). At the same time, it’s not just guys who don’t feel the need to be “packin’” in order to satisfy their partner(s). And that’s why I enlisted the voices of 12 women who not only share in his sentiment, they are ready, willing, and able to explain some solid reasons why.
*Middle names have been used for most; the married women created a name to…you know, keep the peace in case some nosy folks try to figure out their actual identity*
Kora. 34. Married for 10 Years.
“For years, I thought that a big d-ck was a sexual requirement. That’s until I got with my husband. Don’t get me wrong — he’s not small. I always required monstrosities and he’s just not that. We need to get over always following what we hear other people say because there’s no science to back up that a huge penis ramming us automatically means the sex is good. I have had more orgasms with an about-seven-inches man than all of the nine-plus in my world. I wish I had let the myth go a lot sooner.”
Shellie here: Another wife I know feels this way. Check out “BDE: Please Let The "It Needs To Be Huge" Myth Go” when you get a chance.
Lesley. 28. Engaged for 10 Months.
“I’ve got nosy people in my world, so just in case someone figures out it's me, I won’t get into exact sizes here. I’ll just say that a smaller man makes it easier to get into all kinds of sex positions that larger men cannot. It’s also been my experience that smaller men can find my spot faster and because they’re not irritating my cervix, we can go longer which means more orgasms. Some of y’all are missing out by thinking that a big man is where it’s at.”
Nava. 44. Single.
“A big d-ck has never been my thing. I tried out a few in college and after having a few UTIs from all that damn thrusting while not really cumming, I was good on that. Smaller men feel more comfortable to me. I also think that they work a bit harder to please because they don’t have that ‘I have a big d-ck, what else do you need?!’ mindset that other men have.”
Angel. 47. Married for 22 Years.
“I didn’t have a lot of sex partners before I got married. Two men, who were larger than normal, they assumed that I should think that they were great in bed because of their penis — nothing else. They were bad at foreplay. Their rhythm was off. They barely had any stamina…one of them barely lasted for more than six or seven minutes, every single time. ‘Big’ doesn’t guarantee anything. You better look for good.”
Laura. 28. Single.
“I recently binge-watched Sex & the City for the first time with my godmother. Any of you who watched it, do you remember when Samantha was talking about how giving head is like a literal job? I don’t feel that way with smaller penises but I definitely do with larger ones. It’s not that I don’t like doing it, but I definitely have to gas myself up a bit, especially when it’s the first time with someone — and who wants to be out here gagging and stretching out the side of their mouths, if that can be avoided? I do my best work with the smaller ones. One of those, please.”
Rashida. 31. In a Serious Relationship for One Year.
“Wanna get your cowgirl game right? Get a smaller penis. To tell you the truth, if you want to master any sex position, a smaller penis is gonna make that happen for you. I also think that men with smaller penises have more humility when it comes to sex. I don’t mean that in a bad way — I mean that guys with big ones think that’s all they need to have and that’s just not true. I'm a card-carrying member of the ‘Love Some Small D-cks Club’ and my sex life has only gotten better because of it!”Taya. 31. Married for Four Years.
“Wait — what’s small? Like 6”? I’m not gonna do that, but I can be happy with something close to seven. Super large or really small is never gonna do it for me, but that’s just me. As far as smaller men, I will say that if you’ve got a pillow under your back, you’d be surprised [at] the spots they can reach that big men can’t. For that, I’ll give them a round of applause.”
Paris. 22. Single.
“My first had a huge penis. All I remember is pain. My second had a much smaller penis. I had my first orgasm with him. I haven’t had many partners since those two but I’m already sold on smaller penises. I actually prefer them. I think you can see why.”
Chloie. 30. In a Serious Relationship for Three Years.
“Two types of penises that I’m down for every time are uncircumcised and small ones. Uncircumcised feel better in my mouth and seem to make me cum faster. Smaller ones, you can do more with. I never got all of the hype around big penises. All they gave me was soreness most of the time.”
Shellie here: She’s right about the circumcision-to-orgasm connection. Various studies and reports reveal that it’s easier for women to climax with an uncircumcised penis; in part, due to the foreskin rubbing against the nerve endings in their vagina.
Helynn. 34. Engaged for Six Months.
“I think there are pros and cons to both sizes. Big guys ‘fill you up’ and smaller ones make sex more… ‘fluid’ is the word that comes to mind. Like it can be awkward changing positions and getting comfortable with a bigger man. I can ‘go with the flow’ with smaller ones…and that’s great for the flow. It’s also easier to go the second and the third rounds when penises are smaller. With large ones, sometimes I need to take a break, whether I came or not — simply because my vagina was tender.”
Naalah. 25. Single.
“A good six inches is all I need or want. I’ve always felt that way. Back in college, some of my [sorority] sisters told me that I was missing out, so I gave [a big penis] a shot. Y’all can keep that. I don’t want to have a learning curve on size, just to say that I’ve been with big men. The smaller ones have suited me just fine. I’ll stick with what I know.”
Qyndalynn. 50. Married for 32 Years.
“Big. Small. Medium. You better find you a man who cares more about your pleasure than how he compares to a measuring tape. The big men in my past were good but they also seemed to think that they already knew it which caused me to feel sort of…disconnected from them. Smaller men were more passionate and almost eager — like they had something to prove in a way and honey, that suited me just fine. As far as who I’m with now? He’s not an ‘8’ and it doesn’t matter. He pleases me consistently and I ain’t goin’ nowhere. Nothing bigger will ever move me from the one I’ve got. Now mind ya business!”
______
Here are 12 women who can personally attest to the fact that size shouldn’t ever be the main focus of what makes for good sex or a great lover. If you want a “big man,” let it be because the sex is good with him not because that’s what you automatically assume a satisfying sexual experience should consist of. Otherwise, you could be missing out — missing out on the greater things that sometimes come in smaller packages.
Don’t believe me? Read this one more time, sis.
Just for safe…umm, measure. #wink
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
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After Decades-Long Career, Terri J. Vaughn Is Finally The Main Character: Exclusive
Terri J. Vaughn first captured our attention in the late ‘90s as Lovita Alizay Jenkins on The Steve Harvey Show. Decades later, she is starring in her very own series, She The People, which is now available to stream on Netflix.
The political sitcom, which she co-created with Niya Palmer and later teamed up with Tyler Perry Studios, is about a Black woman named Antoinette Dunkerson who runs for lieutenant governor of Mississippi. She wins and becomes the state’s first Black lieutenant governor. Now, she’s forced to balance working with a racist and sexist governor while also trying to keep her family from running amok.
According to the beloved actress, this project was a long time coming. “I’ve been trying to get my own television series for like 20 years, pounding the pavement, meeting with people, getting clothes, being lied to, just a whole bunch of stuff,” she says in an exclusive interview with xoNecole.
“But just keep going, because this is what I do. This is what I love, and I know how important it is for us to continue to show up and make sure that we are seen, make sure that our voices are heard. For several reasons. I just never give up. So here I am, 20 years later, finally sold my show.”
She The People is inspired by the true story of London Breed, who became the first Black female mayor of San Francisco, Terri’s hometown. And to help make the show more authentic, the Cherish the Day actress tapped former Atlanta mayor, Keisha Lance Bottoms to come on as a producer.'“I’ve been trying to get my own television series for like 20 years, pounding the pavement, meeting with people, getting clothes, being lied to, just a whole bunch of stuff."
After bringing the former mayor aboard, it was time to pitch again. And this time, the companies were pitching them. Ultimately, Terri decided to work with Tyler Perry on the series.
“We decided to do it with Tyler for several reasons. I love that. Well, most of the companies we met with were Black-owned companies, but he was the only studio,” she explains. “Tyler is like Walt Disney. That's literally what he is. He has the studio, he has the content. He operates just like Walt Disney.”
And thanks to the cast, the show is nothing short of laughs. The series also stars social media creator Jade Novah as Antoinette’s crazy cousin/ assistant, Shamika, Family Mattersstar Jo Marie Payton as Anotinette’s mom, Cleo, and Terri’s husband, Karon Riley, who plays Michael, her driver and love interest.
While we’ve watched Terri’s career blossom in various ways. From directing to producing, and playing diverse characters, the mom of two says her The Steve Harvey Show character will always be her favorite.
“Well, Lovita was definitely my favorite, especially for my time, the age and everything that I was. Now as a grown ass woman over 50, Antoinette Dunkerson is everything that I've wanted to play. She's everything. She's a mother of two teenagers. She's divorced, so she's co-parenting with her ex-husband. She has to wrangle in a very eclectic family,” she says.
“So I like playing characters that are really flawed and trying to figure it out and doing their best to try to figure it. And she's very flawed and she is trying to figure it out, and she fucks up sometimes. But her heart and what she's trying to do and what her vision is and purpose, it's all for the people. I mean, she the people. She’s for the people, she is the people.”
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