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Does Size Really Matter When It Comes To Sex?

Does Size Really Matter When It Comes To Sex?

Sex

Ladies, it's time for us to confront the age-old question that has gone unanswered for generations. Does the size of the equipment really matter when it comes down to getting the job done right? Is it the size of the boat, the motion of the ocean, or a combination of both that really get a woman's juices flowing?


At our latest Pajamas and Lipstick event in Atlanta, we got to the bottom of this conundrum and our conclusions might just surprise you.

Every woman knows that the morning after your first night with a new partner, the group chat is about to be lit AF. If your new partner were to read the brutally unapologetic banter about his performance, it would be enough to either make his week or bring him to tears.

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If he's lacking in the package department, our homegirls will definitely hear about it, but in our intimate conversation about genitals, Sway in The Morning co-host, Tracy G. suggested that we think twice before being so critical, "This man, he didn't choose that. It has nothing to do with, you go to the mall and this is what you drop in your bag. No, it's not that. So, in order for me trash his dick I have to trash his designer, did God create him in this way? So it's like we all have flaws, we all have weaknesses, and we learn how to compensate for them."

I'm not afraid to say that compromise has never been my game, and my eyes have always been bigger than my mouth. In the past, my imagination has always caused me to bite off more than I can chew and this 'bigger is better' mentality has landed me in a few situations in the bedroom that were unsavory, to say the least. While some people think size doesn't matter, I've met a few Mandingo-esque men that prove the contrary, and our founder, Necole agreed. "Some people with big penises just want to like, rearrange your cervix, and that doesn't make me feel great as a woman. It makes me almost feel violated."

The audacity of these big d*ck bandits, painfully snatching guts out without no apology. The disrespect. I almost dislocated my back out here trying to reenact scenes from my favorite porn clip with a few of those monsters, and take it from me sis, it's not worth it.

Necole explained that as you get older, the characteristics that you seek in a lover change. While at 21, your type may be an 8-inch d*ck you can ride all night, as you mature, your perspective might be a little different. "I feel like [it] changes when you switch from your 20's to your 30's. Like in your 20's, you want a big penis, you want someone to knock it out the box. But when you get in your 30's, it's so many other things that go into how a man loves you. I dated someone and the foreplay was bomb but the sex was always like one minute. The foreplay made me feel great, like wanted and respected."

Despite my horrific experiences with well-endowed men, the fact remained. I didn't wan't no itty-bitty teenie-weenie little short d*ck man, ya heard me? That was, until I met one who rocked my world entirely, and it had nothing to do with his size. Although he wasn't the biggest man I'd ever been with, he was one of the most patient and certainly the most generous.

What that taught me was, while a big d*ck may be too much, and a small d*ck may not seem like enough, what's more important is how you vibe with the man that d*ck is attached to. Author and MommiNation founder, Sanya Richards-Ross had this to say:

"At the end of the day, it really is a personal preference. But I do think it takes a level of maturity you could reach, where you're like look. I'm not going to judge it based off that, I'm going to go off that person's energy. So what if they have a small penis?"

So what do you think ladies? Does size really matter? Can a man be too big or too small?

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My knee-jerk reaction, of course, comes from years of watching film and TV that have exploited Black trauma onscreen and were created with little (if any) consideration for what could emotionally trigger the Black audience. The 1955 murder of Emmett Till is so heartbreaking and inherently violent; would this film make us live through that violence on screen?

Fortunately, no!

This week, before watching Gina Prince-Bythewood's incredible The Woman King, a featurette for Till played in place of a trailer and it soothed my fears.

"There will be no physical violence against Black people on screen," the film's award-winning director and co-writer Chinonye Chukwu says in the featurette. "I'm not interested in relishing in that kind of physical trauma. We're going to begin and end in a place of joy," she says.

Starring Danielle Deadwyler (whose heartfelt performance on HBO's Station Eleven stole the show) as Mamie, Till is a celebration of Mamie's tireless activism which sparked the civil rights movement that continues today and ultimately culminated in President Biden signing the Emmett Till Anti-Lynching Act into law just a few months ago in March 2022. "Mamie Till Mobley is a hero," says Alana Mayo, president of Orion Pictures, the production company behind the film. "I'm really, really committed to making movies not just by us, but for us," Mayo says in the featurette.

After a private screening of Till, this week, Trayvon Martin's mother, Sybrina Fulton, tweeted that the film was "#Powerful" and "a must see."

Mamie's story of courage in the face of unspeakable tragedy deserves to be told--especially as we continue the fight for civil rights today. Knowing that the Black filmmakers behind the film are centering Black joy and aiming for our empowerment through the film makes a world of difference.

TILLis in theaters October 14.

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