Does Size Really Matter When It Comes To Sex?
Ladies, it's time for us to confront the age-old question that has gone unanswered for generations. Does the size of the equipment really matter when it comes down to getting the job done right? Is it the size of the boat, the motion of the ocean, or a combination of both that really get a woman's juices flowing?
At our latest Pajamas and Lipstick event in Atlanta, we got to the bottom of this conundrum and our conclusions might just surprise you.
Every woman knows that the morning after your first night with a new partner, the group chat is about to be lit AF. If your new partner were to read the brutally unapologetic banter about his performance, it would be enough to either make his week or bring him to tears.
Does Size Really Matter During Sex?www.youtube.com
If he's lacking in the package department, our homegirls will definitely hear about it, but in our intimate conversation about genitals, Sway in The Morning co-host, Tracy G. suggested that we think twice before being so critical, "This man, he didn't choose that. It has nothing to do with, you go to the mall and this is what you drop in your bag. No, it's not that. So, in order for me trash his dick I have to trash his designer, did God create him in this way? So it's like we all have flaws, we all have weaknesses, and we learn how to compensate for them."
I'm not afraid to say that compromise has never been my game, and my eyes have always been bigger than my mouth. In the past, my imagination has always caused me to bite off more than I can chew and this 'bigger is better' mentality has landed me in a few situations in the bedroom that were unsavory, to say the least. While some people think size doesn't matter, I've met a few Mandingo-esque men that prove the contrary, and our founder, Necole agreed. "Some people with big penises just want to like, rearrange your cervix, and that doesn't make me feel great as a woman. It makes me almost feel violated."
The audacity of these big d*ck bandits, painfully snatching guts out without no apology. The disrespect. I almost dislocated my back out here trying to reenact scenes from my favorite porn clip with a few of those monsters, and take it from me sis, it's not worth it.
Necole explained that as you get older, the characteristics that you seek in a lover change. While at 21, your type may be an 8-inch d*ck you can ride all night, as you mature, your perspective might be a little different. "I feel like [it] changes when you switch from your 20's to your 30's. Like in your 20's, you want a big penis, you want someone to knock it out the box. But when you get in your 30's, it's so many other things that go into how a man loves you. I dated someone and the foreplay was bomb but the sex was always like one minute. The foreplay made me feel great, like wanted and respected."
Despite my horrific experiences with well-endowed men, the fact remained. I didn't wan't no itty-bitty teenie-weenie little short d*ck man, ya heard me? That was, until I met one who rocked my world entirely, and it had nothing to do with his size. Although he wasn't the biggest man I'd ever been with, he was one of the most patient and certainly the most generous.
What that taught me was, while a big d*ck may be too much, and a small d*ck may not seem like enough, what's more important is how you vibe with the man that d*ck is attached to. Author and MommiNation founder, Sanya Richards-Ross had this to say:
"At the end of the day, it really is a personal preference. But I do think it takes a level of maturity you could reach, where you're like look. I'm not going to judge it based off that, I'm going to go off that person's energy. So what if they have a small penis?"
So what do you think ladies? Does size really matter? Can a man be too big or too small?
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Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LISTÂ HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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When discussing the topic of raising children, discipline is often the first thing that comes to mind. Children need discipline. Full stop. But what is discipline? And how do we draw the line between discipline and revenge?
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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