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I remember when I came back to the platform to do more writing a couple of years back. As my editor and I were discussing what I would be talking about, something that she immediately said is, “We need more vagina-related content,” — and boy, did she come to the right place. LOL. Because although you might not think that there is much to say about that particular body part, the reality is…there is a ton of information out here on it. You’ve just got to be intentional and diligent in your search.

Take what the topic for today is as an example. As you’re about to see in just a few moments, not only is it important to verbally “engage” your vagina, if you’re willing to get a lil’ “dirty” with it, you could end up with more sexual pleasure than you ever thought possible.


Is this clickbait? Eh. It might seem that way at first; however, science has my back. That said, check out how the way you talk about your vagina plays a relevant role in the way your sex life goes. It might be the hack that you’ve been looking for.

Words Have Power

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Words are powerful. And as poetic (and/or Scriptural — Pr. 18:21) that might sound, there is quite a bit of science that can -back that statement up. For instance, brain chemicals like dopamine and serotonin (which help you to feel happy and relaxed)? Scientific research reveals that they are released to certain parts of your brain based on the words that you hear.

The anxiety and/or stress that you may feel? There’s a good chance that it’s directly connected to some negative talk (including negative self-talk) that you have witnessed (if you are in pain, negativity can also increase your pain levels). Positive words? They help you to value yourself more and to even regulate the genes within your body that are associated with your physical and emotional state.

It's important to keep all of this in mind as we get into today’s topic — because, as you can see, words can influence you in ways that are oftentimes underestimated; even (and in some ways, especially) when it comes to your body and your sex life.

Yes, Your Vagina Is Absolutely Like a Plant

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I’ve got a friend who thinks that it is absolutely ridiculous to look at your vagina let alone talk to it and she’s actually a part of what inspired me to write “Vaginas Are Like Plants. Here's What I Mean By That.” a couple of years ago.

Aside from the fact that vaginal self-exams (check out “Why You Should Give Yourself A ‘Vaginal Self-Exam’”) are highly beneficial from a purely health standpoint, much like a plant, every part of your body deserves daily attention, affection and appreciation — and your vagina and vulva (the outer part of your vagina) are no exception.

And yes, this includes talking to “her.” Did you know that talking to yourself has been proven to boost self-confidence (including sexual self-confidence); regulate your emotional state; improve overall performance; motivate and inspire you, and help you to treat yourself with more mercy and grace — and all of this is necessary, not just in order to have a positive self-image but to thrive when it comes to physical and emotional intimacy as well.

Now sit tight as I prepare to connect all of these dots for you (as it relates to the title of this piece).

Why Dirty Talk Is So Darn Effective During Sex

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Dirty talk. It’s something that I am always and forever going to be a big-time fan of. On a personal tip, I’ve shared before that I’m pretty sure I like it because I am a writer and because words of affirmation (pretty much) continue to be my top love language.

Aside from that, though, because sex is something that involves all five of your senses (if you do it “right,” that is — check out “How To Incorporate All Five Senses To Have The Best Sex Ever”), it’s important to bring the five love languages — words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service and gifts — into intimacy as much as possible (check out “Are You Ready To Apply Your Love Language To Your Sex Life?”) and the words that can really intensify copulation are dirty ones.

Why? Interestingly enough, research says that dirty talk actually helps women to become more sexually aroused and involved. A part of the reason is because it taps into one’s sexual imagination and desires. Another reason is because it intensifies pleasure. Another reason is because it helps people to feel more comfortable when it comes to giving sexual compliments and even sexual instruction (you know, sharing what your likes and preferences are).

More reasons? Dirty talk stimulates the sex hormones (including oxytocin) in your system, so that end up feeling both physically as well as emotionally closer to your partner. Dirty talk engages several parts of your brain at one time which helps you to feel more excited. Dirty talk also helps you and your partner to remain in the moment. Plus, dirty talk helps to increase mutual trust, so that the two of you are able to take your orgasms to entirely different (and higher) level.

Ah yes, the joys of dirty talking. For me, whenever I think of this type of sexual expression, Kelly Rowland’s song (and visual) “Motivation” comes to mind (IYKYK). “Go, go, go…GO!” INDEED, CHILE. Dirty talk between couples is like being each other’s sex coach and cheerleader at the same time. Whew-whee.

Okay, but that’s all about talking dirty to and with your partner. The title for this is all about talking that type of way to your vagina. Let’s tie all of this in together now, shall we?

How “Dirty Talking to Your Vagina” Benefits It and Your Sex Life

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Not too long ago, while I was out in cyberspace doing some quick research on another topic altogether, I noticed a piece on a random site that I enjoy from time to time: Futurism. The article was addressing something that science has recently discovered (or is just now sharing en masse): it would appear that the nastier (that was their exact word, by the way) a woman is when talking about her vagina/vulva, the more likely she is to enjoy her body and enjoy her sex life, in general. Hmph.

Now how does that work? Well, remember that words are able to significantly influence us and dirty words help us to feel more sexually confident and improve our overall sexual performance, right? Well, the study said that when we use words like “va-jay-jay” (which I do fairly often in content — #Elmoshrug), it connotes childish thinking while words like "p-ssy,” although it may seem vulgar to some, it also has a boldness and directness about it that tends to lead to greater pleasure and more consistent orgasms.

And since different words tap into different sides of our brain, if you use nicknames, “baby words” or even strictly anatomical ones (like vagina) for your genitalia, it doesn’t “sexually inspire you” in the same way that, umm, other words tend to do — not just when you’re having sex but when you’re alone as well. Interesting, right?

Now to be fair and thorough, the article did state that there is a fairly new study and it was conducted among mostly white women. Yet I still thought it was fascinating enough to share because, well, think about how you feel about dirty talk. Then ponder the words that you use most to describe your own “treasure trove”. OK and finally, how is your sex life going right now? As you’re talking all of this intel in, do you see some direct correlations in any way?

And if you are the “va-jay-jay kind,” perhaps consider switching the words up a bit. Last year, Cosmo published a piece entitled, “60 weird (and funny) words for vagina ranked.” If p-ssy isn’t your thing, how about box, snatch, hole, coochie — heck, there are certainly plenty of options to choose from. LOL. I think the main focus here is to challenge yourself out of using “cutesy” words or only seeing your genitalia from a scientific standpoint, so that you can get more into a Vanity 6 type of energy — the real ones know — in order to become a bit (more) of a “Nasty Girl.” Because although the vagina has a few different purposes, it’s irrefutable that a top-tier one is that it’s there for the sake of your (and your partner’s) sexual fulfillment.

Dirty talk. Not just during sex but when you’re talking to and about your vagina (and vulva) too.

Hey, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. You never know what a few words could do. #wink

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