Braids. Twists. Wigs. Weaves. Buns. Bantu knots. Updos. Wanna know what all of these things have in common? They're protective styles—they are all things that you can do to your hair that will decrease how much time you spend touching your hair. Not only that but they protect your tresses from outdoor elements and, most importantly, keep your ends from experiencing damage. Yeah, protective styles are pretty amazin'. At the same time, you really can end up with too much of a good thing. When it comes to these particular looks, if you end up relying on protective styles so much that it ends up causing all sorts of drama when it comes to your hair getting stronger, longer and healthier…they actually are doing you absolutely no good.
So, how can you know for sure that your protective style is out here working against you rather than for you in the long run? I've got eight telling signs that you definitely shouldn't overlook.
1. You’re Noticing Protective Styles are Causing Breakage
A statement that a lot of people tend to make that is absolutely not true is, "My hair doesn't grow." If you're living—and you don't have some sort of diagnosed hair loss condition—your tresses are definitely growing, somewhere between one-fourth and one-half inch each and every month. However, the reason why a lot of us don't see any real length retention is because our hair breaks off, about as fast as it grows. Protective styles can do this when we've worn them too long (styles like braids and twists really shouldn't be in longer than six weeks at a time) or we're not properly conditioning our hair before styling it.
Another breakage issue? Sometimes, we're so comfortable with a protective style that we forget our ends at least need to be dusted, if not all-out trimmed. So, if you've been rocking a protective style with the intention of growing your hair out yet you haven't been seeing any real progress, ask yourself why that is the case—because you definitely should be.
2. Your Edges and/or Nape Are Getting Weak From Protective Styles
I wear my hair in box braids from time to time. Something that I can tell you is a huge red flag is if you leave your braider with your scalp feeling so tight that you've got a headache. A good braider isn't going to pull your hair so much that it ends up weakening your hair follicles and/or causes the edges and nape of your hair to start thinning out. While we're on this topic, I know some people who are so married to their lace fronts to the point where they don't even have edges anymore, either because they are installing their wigs incorrectly or they are leaving them on too long (you shouldn't keep one on for longer than six weeks).
If you've naturally got thin edges or the nape of your neck has always been shorter than the rest of your hair, that's one thing. Yet if your protective style is the direct cause, make sure that braids, twists, Bantu knots and sew-ins are looser and wigs are installed with extreme care. No look is worth losing some of your hair in the long run as a direct result of having it.
3. Your Scalp Is Irritated Because of Protective Styles
Something that can happen when it comes to braids (especially when you're using extensions) is your scalp can end up becoming really irritated. This happened to me once because my scalp didn't like the brand of hair that was used. This is oftentimes the case when synthetic fibers are used rather than human hair. New wigs can also make your scalp itch or cause it to become inflamed. Come to think of it, so can an older wig if you didn't wash out all of the shampoos and/or conditioner that you used before putting it back on.
Listen, your scalp is the foundation of your hair, so when it comes to protective styles, it's important that you wash your hair and scalp thoroughly before getting the style and that you are able to keep it moisturized. Also make sure that when it comes to braid/twist extensions, wigs, and weaves that the hair is quality so that your scalp isn't getting bumps, sores or you're not scratching it to death while you've got your protective style on.
4. Your Hair Is Loc'ing Up From Protective Styling
Here's something that is counterproductive AF. So, you get some killer braids or twists, yet you don't want to take them down, so you keep twisting your new growth to make the roots appear tighter so that your hairstyle looks fresher. OK. Here's the thing, though—if you do that long enough, you could cause your hair to loc up which makes it harder to detangle which means that you could end up damaging your hair once it's time to take it all down.
Another potential "loc up" cause? Having a sew-in remain for so long that your braids underneath end up becoming so matted that you weaken your hair trying to take everything down.
Locs are beautiful. They are also meant to be intentional. If you've got a protective style that's resulting in your hair loc'ing up, that is definitely not a good sign. A protective style should be relatively easy to "dismantle". It shouldn't stress you or your hair out when you're in the process of doing it.
5. Your Braids Are Too Tiny
Say that micro braids are totally your thing. While some stylists say that they can remain in your hair for three months (and lawd, since they can take 12 hours to put in, they should), sometimes it's not worth it when it comes to taking the braids out. For one thing, it can be a beast figuring out where your hair starts and the extensions begin. Secondly, there is a lot of manipulation that goes down while your fingers are trying to take out every little braid that you've got. While using a cream or spray can make the process easier, you could still end up with a lot of shedding, some breakage, and, at the very least, a couple of months when you'll really need to "baby" your hair. So, while micro braids may be convenient as all get out, again, if the ultimate goal is growth, they could end up working against you rather than for you.
6. You’ve Got Product Build-Up From Protective Styles
In a perfect world, a protective style would make it possible for you to not need to put a lot of product in your hair. But I know some of y'all are perfectionists and, at the very least, you want every baby hair to be in place. What I will say is if you notice residue, that your hair is dull, your scalp is flaky or your hair feels extra greasy—these are all indications of product build-up and it being time to wash your hair and quite possible removing your protective style. If you don't, your hair follicles could end up getting clogged (which is never good) or hair could become so stiff and hard that you could end up damaging the cuticles while trying to restyle it.
For the record, if you've got a sew-in, make sure to use a shampoo that is specifically designed for it (that way, your weave will get detangled while your natural hair can remain fresh and moisturized); every 2-3 weeks is cool. If you've got braids or twists, every two weeks is a good idea. Same goes for buns and updos; just make sure to deep condition after taking those down, every single time and, if you did apply a lot of product that you do an apple cider rinse to clarify your hair.
7. Your Protective Styles Are Too High-Maintenance
Here's what I mean by a high-maintenance protective style. Something that I really like to rock are cornrows. I am able to part and braid them myself, so they are super convenient. Yet when I read somewhere that Trey Songz once said that he cut his braids because he was tired of redoing them every four days, I felt that deep in my spirit. Remember that the purpose of a protective style is so that your hair experiences low manipulation which means that whatever look you settle on needs to absolutely not be high-maintenance. If you've got to constantly pull and tug at your hair in order to perfect the look, it's pretty counterproductive. Just something to keep in mind if you're trying to figure out which protective style to go with next.
8. You Never Switch Up Your Protective Styles
While you may have never considered them to be protective styles before, technically buns and updos do qualify because, if you take good care of them (including keeping your hands out of your hair), they can protect your ends and that can encourage length retention in the long run. Just make sure that you're not always putting the bun or updo in the exact same spot on your head. That can lead to breakage and balding if you're not careful. So can constantly parting your Bantu knots the same way. Never forget that hair follicles are very resilient and yet somewhat fragile at the same time, so you've got to constantly handle them with care—in part, by not constantly handling them.
Have fun with your protective styles; however, do give your hair a break, even from them, every once in a while. They are designed to be temporary solutions for achieving hair growth not permanent styles with no reprieve. Aight? Cool.
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So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
It’s not like it has to be a bad thing. In fact, studies say that somewhere around 15 percent of engaged couples actually met through a friend. All I’m saying is, before you entertain someone’s “I’ve got someone I want you to meet” invitation, it would benefit you to interview them first — for the sake of all parties involved.
The questions that I recommend asking? The following six are what I think can get everyone on the same page, so that there is more pleasure than regret from the hook-up attempt.
1. Why Are They So Invested?
GiphyTwo things that I recently watched over again are the series Survivor’s Remorse (the writing is so damn good) and a movie called Trapped in Temptation (both are currently on Tubi). Something that both of them made me think about is the fact that motive reveals a lot when it comes to why people say and do the things that they do.
When it comes to the movie, specifically, without giving the film away — let me just say that, if you are in a relationship, be really careful about listening to individuals who try to talk you out of maintaining it. More times than not, the motive is shady as hell. And honestly, sometimes people who are close to obsessed with you being in one deserve a bit of side-eye too.
Now, if it’s someone who loves all things love, they are in love and they want you to experience something similar — that’s sweet. Just make sure that they are approaching the set up from a healthy space. What I mean by that is they don’t see singleness as some sort of relational handicap or they aren’t trying to override what you want for your life as if they somehow know better (there are so many ways to be a control freak, y’all).
Hmph. Now that I think about it — make sure that the set-up crew isn’t trying to use you to “save” some male friend or relative of theirs. I say that because I once knew a mother whose son had — count ‘em — 10 kids and she was FOREVER trying to get me to date him. Girl, that wasn’t for me. She was looking for a Holy Ghost Jr. for that child of hers. I’ll pass. HARD PASS.
Bottom line with this one — if someone wants to set you up with someone else, the first thing to ask is why? Make sure to really listen to what their answer is. Then pay attention to if your mind, body and spirit are at peace with their answer(s).
2. Do They Know What You Want?
GiphyI don’t know about y’all, but the people (and let’s be honest, by far, it’s usually women) who have tried to set me up with someone? They didn’t even know what my preferences or type was. Hell, they didn’t even know my thoughts or timeline as it relates to being in a serious relationship were either. And what that boils down to is they were trying to hook me up based on their agenda, not mine — and that usually meant that the guys who they came up with? Yeah…I was good on them. LOL.
Yeah, if someone wants to hook you up, you definitely should ask them if they know what you are looking for in a guy when it comes to his looks, personality, passions, spirituality, relational desires and goals, location, etc. Because, indeed, what is the point in going out with someone who is fine as hell and yet, you want kids and he doesn’t (or vice versa) or who has a great personality yet he isn’t even in the same ballpark of your spiritual beliefs?
If your friend really wants to help you out, valuing your time should come with that — and that means bringing someone into your life who complements your lifestyle. No wiggle room here.
3. Are They Aware of Your Deal-Breakers?
GiphyLast year, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “Should Bad Sex Actually Be A Relationship Deal-Breaker?” The thing that I think needs to go on record about deal-breakers is they aren’t exactly standards that you have. No, a deal-breaker is something that can’t be worked out even after trying to negotiate or compromise. When it comes to relationships, a deal-breaker might be how long two people should date before becoming exclusive or getting engaged. Another deal-breaker might be if being religious is more important than being spiritual and how that manifests itself (church or no church, etc.). And yes, another deal-breaker may be what each other’s sexual needs and expectations are.
When someone is setting you up, it is imperative that they know about your standards. For instance, for me, I am not interested in dating a divorced person, pretty much ever (I Corinthians 7:10-11). I’ve had friends who have tried to hook me up with that demographic before and it has always been a moot effort. The fact that some of them have gotten frustrated with my convictions has absolutely nothing to do with me. Some have tried to get me to compromise my deal-breakers too — like a long-distance relationship. Is it a firm “naw”? No. However, it’s not really something that I am interested in, so why not just…recommend someone local?
Yeah, if someone thinks that they know you well enough to hook you up, they absolutely should be well-versed in what your deal-breakers are before they do. And if they’ve never asked, all they are doing is assuming — and we know what that typically means. LOL.
4. What Is Their Track Record?
GiphyIt’s kind of wild that we now live in a time when more couples meet online than they do through “old-fashioned ways” like via their friends (although some reports say that Gen Z is getting back to that) — and yet, here we are. Still, if you are willing to let someone play pseudo matchmaker in your life, you are well within your rights to inquire about their track record in that department. Have they hooked others up, successfully, before? Has any of their “Cupid work” caused both people to get exactly what they wanted out of the situation? If/when things went awry, why was that?
I know someone who is constantly trying to hook people up. Thing is, maybe 10-15 percent (no joke) of their efforts have proven to be positive and fruitful — and we’re talking about close to close to two decades of them doing it. Listen, time is too precious to be out here doing stuff ONLY to please other people. That said, if someone wants you to devote some time to one of their grand ideas, you are well within your rights to ask about their past and current success score when it comes to it.
5. Can They Keep Their Own Feelings Out of It?
GiphyWanna know if someone who is offering to do something for you is actually doing it more for themselves? If they try to make it be about them when things don’t go the way they would like, that is a dead ringer. An example? They post a message about you on social media and then question you about why you didn’t do the same thing in return. Another example? They do something for you and then throw it in your face during an argument. Still another example? They set you up with someone, it doesn’t work out, and suddenly you’ve put them in a weird spot. No dear — you put your own self in that position by trying to hook two people up in the first place.
I promise you, it will spare everyone unnecessary energy spent (or even drama experienced) if, before you agree to be hooked up, you get the matchmaker on record stating that they will keep their emotions out of it as much as possible. MEANING — they will do the introductions and then let the chips fall where they may. If they can’t do this, my two cents (save it or spend it) would be to decline the offer. Because all you need is someone texting you about why you haven’t called their cousin back or having an attitude with you when you break up with some guy at their church who they thought was the perfect catch (P.S. These aren’t hypothetical examples — LOL).
6. Will They Respect Your Boundaries? Start to Finish?
GiphyYeah, this final one is a biggie. Just because someone sets you up with another person, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily mean that they should have the right to the details of the dynamic. I don’t care if it’s the first date or the 10th date. I don’t care if you decide to just be sex buddies or to have a full-blown relationship. I don’t care if you stay together or break-up — it’s your relationship which makes it your business. Whatever you share is privileged data.
Yeah, I would say that probably the most challenging thing about being hooked up by someone you know is they have a tendency to think that they are a part of the relationship too — and that is a lie. If things go well beyond a couple of dates, you and the guy should discuss what you will both share with the person who introduced you and then agree to stick to that boundary, no matter what. It’s a great way to protect the dynamic, to keep “outside voices” from influencing the growth and to navigate how you want to move, moving forward.
Someone who hooked you up for the right reasons and knows how to honor limits? They will understand. Will they ask questions? Absolutely. Will they pry? Nah.
___
Should you sit and let someone hook you up? I mean, you never know how your blessing will come. Just make sure that they are prepared for you to do some digging into their mindset before they start sweetly meddling into your love life.
It’s only fair. Hell, and right. LOL.
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