Poetry, much like music, has a way of seducing you with its words. The cadence lives with you long after you’ve heard something that touches your soul. Poets express themselves and their emotions – joy, sorrow, love, the erotic – can be felt through each stanza. In my mind, poetry is yet another genre of music. It holds some of the same elements, but those elements that differ allow it to stand out from the crowd slightly. However, it’s my hope to focus on the erotic here and now.
Though the erotic seems specific, what I’ve learned from my small dip into Audre Lorde is that the erotic is a very broad concept. The erotic is pleasure in the feminine form – not merely sexual pleasure or “pornographic” as we have come to know it as. Though I’m still mystified by what exactly it means, I wanted to explore the erotic through poetry and my personal interpretation of Lorde. And thus, here we are. Below are poems that I feel express the erotic through a feminine lens. Some poets you may know, others may be new to you. Nevertheless, their words breathe life and love into the pockets of the world that need the most oxygen and restoration–us women.
These poems honor the erotic – each one speaking to different parts of our lives and time here on this Earth, as intended.
"3 O’clock in the Morning" by Jasmine Mans
This poem is from Jasmine Mans' debut book, Black Girl, Call Home. Not only is the artwork exquisite but the poems hit home. This poem in particular speaks of a deep and warming love, an expression of emotions and feeling that can feel difficult to come by. It speaks of a love that is reciprocated and feels like a religious experience. I can’t help but think this is what Lorde spoke of when she spoke of the erotic.
"what if this body" by Adrienne Maree Brown
True to their nature, Pleasure Activism author Adrienne Maree Brown is challenging European standards of beauty in this piece from their blog. They speak in depth about all the things that their body might be able to do as the world continues to shape and the privilege that actually comes along as a self-proclaimed “fat girl.” Lorde speaks to how when we learn to stop speaking and thinking ill of ourselves and embrace our superpowers, we become more in touch with the erotic and I believe Adrienne Maree Brown's "What if This Body" speaks to that.
"Phenomenal Woman" by Maya Angelou
While we’re instructed not to think of the erotic as merely the pornographic, it’s my opinion that Maya Angelou’s poem "Phenomenal Woman" actually speaks to the feminine energy that women exude when they’re tapped into the erotic. When women are confident in who they are and unashamed, they have a way of commanding attention. In this classic poem, we witness this and it’s done in a way that’s graceful.
"Desire" by Alice Walker
In her work, Lorde offers that the use of the erotic will empower us to do things we find meaningful in this world–things we are passionate about without force. Through "Desire," Alice Walker taps into this freeing and rare occurrence as she talks about nurturing herself in a way that fills her heart, and the way her desire to grow turns into devotion.
"A Woman Speaks" by Audre Lorde
Yet another poem about the challenges that come with being a Black woman in this world, but finding empowerment to embrace it. In "A Woman Speaks," Audre Lorde speaks of the generations that came before her and the power we hold as a collective to seek out and make a change in this world. One of the more notable parts of this piece is she doesn’t waste time pointing fingers but instead chooses to speak her own truth without placing blame.
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'Sistas' Star Skyh Black On The Power Of Hypnotherapy & Emotional Vulnerability For Men
In this insightful episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Sistas star Skyh Black, as he opened up about his journey of emotional growth, resilience, and self-discovery. The episode touches on emotional availability, self-worth, masculinity, and the importance of therapy in overcoming personal struggles.
Skyh Black on Emotional Availability & Love
On Emotional Availability & Vulnerability
“My wife and I wouldn't be where we are today if both of us weren't emotionally available,” he shared about his wife and Sistas co-star KJ Smith, highlighting the value of vulnerability and emotional openness in a relationship. His approach to masculinity stands in contrast to the traditional, stoic ideals. Skyh is not afraid to embrace softness as part of his emotional expression.
On Overcoming Self-Doubt & Worthiness Issues
Skyh reflected on the self-doubt and worthiness issues that he struggled with, especially early in his career. He opens up about his time in Los Angeles, living what he calls the “LA struggle story”—in a one-bedroom with three roommates—and being homeless three times over the span of 16 years. “I always had this self-sabotaging thought process,” Skyh said. “For me, I feel therapy is essential, period. I have a regular therapist and I go to a hypnotherapist.”
How Therapy Helped Him Heal From Self-Doubt
On Hypnotherapy & Empowering Self-Acceptance
Skyh’s journey is a testament to the power of tapping into self-development despite life’s struggles and being open to growth. “I had to submit to the fact that God was doing good in my life, and that I'm worthy of it. I had a worthiness issue and I did not realize that. So, that’s what the hypnotherapy did. It brought me back to the core. What is wrong so that I can fix it?”
Watch the full podcast episode below:
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Quinta Brunson Gets Real About Divorce, Boundaries & Becoming
Quinta Brunson is the woman who chooses herself, even when the world is watching. And in her June 30 cover story for Bustle, she gives us a rare glimpse into the soft, centered place she's navigating her life from now. From leading one of television's most beloved series in the last decade to quietly moving through life shifts, the creator of Abbott Elementary is walking through a personal evolution and doing so with intention, grace, and a firm grip on her boundaries.
Back in March, the 35-year-old filed for divorce from Kevin Jay Anik after nearly three years of marriage, citing "irreconcilable differences." The news hit the headlines of news outlets fast, but Quinta hadn't planned to announce their dissolution to the public so quickly.
Quinta Brunson On Divorce, Public Scrutiny & Sacred Boundaries
"I remember seeing people be like, ‘She announced her divorce,’" she told Bustle. “I didn’t announce anything. I think people have this idea that people in the public eye want the public to know their every move. None of us do. I promise you. No one wants [everyone] to know when you buy a house, when you move, when a major change happens in your personal life. It’s just that that’s public record information."
In regards to her private moves becoming tabloid fodder, Quinta continued, "I hated that. I hate all of it."
"I Am An Artist First": Quinta On Cutting Her Hair & Reclaiming Herself
Still, the diminutive phenom holds her crown high in the face of change and is returning to the essence of who she is, especially as an artist. "Cutting my hair reminded me that I am an artist first. I want to feel things. I want to make choices. I want to be a person, and not just stuck in having to be a certain way for business." It's giving sacred rebirth. It's giving self-liberation. It's especially giving main character energy.
And while the headlines keep spinning their narratives, the one that Quinta is focused on is her own. For her, slowing down and nourishing herself in ways that feed her is what matters. "It’s a transitional time. I think it’s true for me and my personal life, and it’s how I feel about myself, my career, and the world," Quinta shared with Bustle. “I feel very serious about focusing on watering my own gardens, taking care of myself and the people around me who I actually interact with day-to-day."
That includes indulging in simple rituals that ground her like "making myself a meal" which has become "really, really important to me."
That spirit of agency doesn't stop at the personal. In her professional world, as the creator, executive producer, and lead actress of the critically-acclaimed Abbott Elementary, Quinta understands the weight her choices carry, both on- and off-screen. She revealed to Bustle, "People used to tell me at the beginning of this that the No. 1 on the call sheet sets the tone, and the producer sets the tone — and I’m both of those roles."
She continued, "I understand now, after doing this for four years, how important it was that I set the tone that I did when we first started."
Quinta doesn't just lead, she understands the importance of curating the energy of any space she enters. Even amid a season of shifts and shedding, her power speaks loudly. Sometimes that power looks like quiet resistance. Sometimes that power is soft leadership.
And sometimes that power looks like cutting your hair and taking back your name in rooms that have forgotten you were an artist long before you were a brand.
Read Quinta's cover story on Bustle here to witness the fullness of Quinta's becoming.
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