

What I’m about to say, I’ve said many times before; that’s because it’s something that I absolutely believe to be true: I’m not sure how many topics, especially as they relate to one’s health, are more polarizing than coffee (most specifically, the caffeine that’s in it).While on one hand, science reveals that coffee can help to strengthen your heart, reduce your risk for Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s, boost your energy levels, improve your blood sugar levels, and even increase your longevity, there are also numerous reports that too much of a good thing can prove to be problematic on a few levels too.
Takean article that I recently read, for example. It basically stated that you’re better off starting off your mornings with water instead of coffee because extra hydration will help to prevent your body from receiving “mixed messages” as far as your stress hormone (cortisol) is concerned. As a result, you can end up with more energy and productivity than caffeine alone can provide.
That’s not all, though. If you happen to be someone who can’t see starting your day without a big ole’ cup of java in your hands, here are 10 solid reasons why you might want to rethink that — or at least take the “less is more approach” to coffee overall.
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1. Less Nutrition Absorption
You might’ve read somewhere thatthe majority of Americans do not get the nutrients that they need from their diet alone. In fact, most don’t get nearly enough vitamin D and E from the foods that they eat, half need more vitamin C and one-third are lacking in the vitamin A and magnesium departments. That’s why I thought it was important to start all of this off by sharing that caffeine consumptioncan make it harder for your body to fully absorb nutrients; especially when it comes to calcium, magnesium, and B vitamins.
Does this mean not to drink coffee at all? No. What it does mean is if you think that you can’t get through the day without it, you should consider what it may be potentially robbing you of in the process (especially if you drink more than a couple of cups a day).
2. Also, Less Iron Absorption
If you’re someone who is anemic (or borderline anemic), this is something that you definitely should keep in mind. Did you know that coffee also has the ability to significantly reduce how much iron your system is able to absorb?For instance, one study revealed that drinking coffee with a hamburger meal can decrease how much iron you’re able to get from the burger by almost 40 freakin’ percent. It’s mostly due to the polyphenols (plant compounds) that areable to inhibit how your body digests the mineral.
Again, does this mean that you can have no java at all? Some health experts say that it’s more about paying attention to when you drink it.For example, one study said that consuming coffee an hour before a meal will have very little of an iron effect at all. My two cents? If you do have low iron, speak with your doctor first. Better to be safe than sorry…right?
3. More Belly Fat (Maybe)
Did you know that approximately65 percent of Americans consume coffee? Not only that but apparently a lot of one’s genetic make-up helps to determine if coffee is good for them or not (you can read more about thathere). Maybe that’s why some people can drink coffee and not gain an inch while others will and pack on the pounds. Honestly, a lot of the weight surrounding coffee consumption has more to do with what you put in your coffee cup —sugar, cream, etc.— than anything else.
Still, it’s important to keep in mind that since caffeine has the ability to raise your cortisol (natural stress hormone) levels and cortisol has been linked to added abdominal fat (especially in women) — let’s just say that if you’re trying to get a six-pack, coffee is not the most effective way to make that happen; not by a long shot.
4. (Potentially) More Fragile Bones
Another mineral that isn’t the biggest fan of coffee is calcium.Some research indicates that consuming caffeine can actually interfere with how your body processes calcium. For instance, if you happen to drink a lot of coffee, whenever you urinate, it can actually cause a lot of the calcium that’s stored in your body to leave your system; that can ultimately lead to weaker bones, especially as you age. So, how much is too much? Reportedly, five Red Bulls or 3-4 eight-ounce cups of coffee a day is definitely pushing the limit.
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5. Hormonal Imbalance
If there’s one thing that all women should want to be hypervigilant about, it’s making sure that their hormones remain as balanced as possible. Well, one thing that doesn’t really care about that goal is caffeine. Again, not only does it tend to increase your cortisol (stress) levels, but it also can throw off your blood sugar (if you’re not careful), make your endocrine system (the system that’s in charge of your hormones) sluggish and it can create erratic sleep patterns which can ultimately result in a suppression of how your hormones are produced. Out of all of the reasons in this article to pay attention to how much coffee you drink, this is one that definitely should not be ignored.
6. Asthma Medication Drama
I bet most of you would never guess thatsome studies reveal that drinking coffee can reduce asthma symptoms (for some people) by as much as almost 30 percent.A part of the reason is that, since caffeine is a stimulant, it can (temporarily) help to reduce what causes respiratory muscle fatigue which can result in asthma attacks. At the same time, make sure to not consume caffeinefour hours or less prior to a lung test (it can affect the results).
Also,some studies say that caffeine can make it more difficult for your body to absorb any asthma-related medication that you may be on. So, if you do take something for asthma and coffee is totally your thing, let your doctor know — just to be on the safe side.
7. More Hot Flashes
If you happen to be in a latter stage of perimenopause or very close to menopause, it’s common to experience hot flashes. Long story short, they’re what happen when your hormones are all over the place which can throwyour “body’s thermostat”, known as your hypothalamus off, making it highly sensitive to temperature.Although things like spicy foods, alcohol, hot weather, stress, and even tight clothes can trigger a hot flash,so can caffeine. So, if you’ve got hot flashes going on and you can’t seem to catch a break, you might want to push that coffee cup back; see how that makes you feel.
8. Possible Pregnancy Problems
You might’ve heard somewhere that it’s okay to have caffeine while you’re pregnant, so long as it’s consumed in extreme moderation. However, there is more and more intel that says you really should consider going without it altogether since caffeine is connected to things like an uptick in miscarriage, stillbirths, low birth weight in newborns, and sometimes, even certain types of cancer. You don’t want to take a chance on this one. At the very least, go the decaf route (and even do that sparingly) until the little one is born.
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9. Dehydration
Every time that I read that75 percent of Americans are not just dehydrated but chronically dehydrated, it trips me out. And sincecoffee is a diuretic, this means that it pulls water out of your system because it causes you to urinate more.To be fair on this one, though, so long as you limit your coffee intake to less than five cups a day, it shouldn’t have too much (more) a dehydration effect on you (to be sure, keep a glass of water nearby).
10. Insomnia
And finally, one more time for the cheap seats:coffee is a stimulant. That’s why, it makes all the sense in the world that too much caffeine can wreak total havoc on your quality of rest and sleep. In fact, some research indicates that even having caffeine as early as six hours prior to your bedtime can cut down your sleep by an hour. This is why you should have no more than 3-4 cups of coffee a day (max) and avoid drinking it after around lunchtime. Otherwise, you could end up sleep deprived and that comes withpotential health-related issues like anxiety, depression, obesity, heart attacks, and strokes.
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So what if you do want to lighten up on your coffee intake yet you know that you still need more energy in the morning? Some healthier alternatives includematcha tea, yaupon tea, chicory coffee,mushroom coffee,black tea,chai tea, and golden milk. Since all of these come with less caffeine and their own pretty impressive health benefits, why not give one or all of ‘em a shot?
Hey, you just might like it. What’s been scientifically proven is your system will. Drink up!
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Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
Watch the full episode below:
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
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6 Tabletop Sex Positions That'll Unlock You & Bae's Most Primal Desires
Something I will never tire of is finding new ways to bring new layers to intimacy. A wall you use as momentum, a bathroom sink to help you keep your balance as he worships you on his knees, a shower that is usually for cleansing but evolves into a sacred ritual of shared intimacy.
My favorite kind of sex is the kind of sex that prioritizes pleasure and connection. So, technically and thankfully, I can say most of my sex life has been quite pleasurable throughout the years. But the memorable encounters for sure take the cake. One such encounter actually took place on a kitchen counter, and with it unleashed inhibitions in ways I never anticipated while unlocking levels to top-tier sex. And that, that involved a kitchen counter.
Why Kitchen Counter Sex Just Hits Different
What is it about having your hips pressed into the edge of a kitchen counter that lets out something so primal in you? The cool-to-the-touch feel of the countertop against exposed skin as you rise to meet him again and again. The urgency in every movement. The playfulness of repurposing an everyday space for something far more erotic. If you’re looking to bring that energy into your own sex life, keep reading for positions and tips to explore.
1. The Bounce House
They don’t call it Bounce House for nothing. In this position, the penetrating partner lies flat on their back on a sturdy table or counter while the receiving partner straddles them, knees bent and facing away. With their hands gripping the edge of the surface for support, the receiving partner slides or bounces at their own pace, owning the rhythm, the motion, and the view.
According to sex therapist Michael Aaron, Ph.D., who spoke with Women’s Health, the receiving partner placing their legs between their partner’s creates a tighter sensation, while staying fully astride allows for more bounce and range of motion. Either way, this one puts the receiver in full control, and you know we love a good woman on top position. Pleasure and power? Say less.
2. The Bicycle
Well, you know what they say about riding a bike. In the case of this table top position, it's the receiving partner who is the rider...but not in the way you think. While lying back on a sturdy surface or a table, the receiver will bring their knees toward their chest, bending them as if in a cycling motion. The penetrating partner stands at the edge of the surface, grabbing the receiver's ankles, and guides themselves inside, slowly so as to savor the moment. This angle puts everything on display for the penetrating partner while allowing for deep, connected thrusting for the receiver.
To take things up a notch , the receiving partner can touch themselves or flex their thighs to control the depth or the rhythm. Because, who says only one person gets to have control?
3. Counter Offer
How could we be at the table and not use it to eat? Enter: Counter Offer. In this oral-focused sex position, the receiving partner perches on the edge of a counter or table, lying back or sitting upright with legs parted or bent for comfort. The penetrating partner kneels or stands between their thighs, depending on the setup and the kind of attention they’re ready to give. No doubt, this one’s all about access and intention.
With the vulva front and center, the height makes it easier to maintain eye contact, use hands freely for things like breast play or incorporating toys, and take their time with every moan-inducing taste. And that’s on five, six, seven, ATE.
4. Standing Doggy
Standing Doggy is what happens when a classic like doggy style gets an upgrade. Instead of being on all fours on a bed, the receiving partner bends over a hard surface like a table or counter, keeping their hips aligned at its edge. The penetrating partner stands behind and enters from the back, using the angle to go deeper and create a strong, steady rhythm. This one offers maximum control and visual appeal, especially if the penetrating partner reaches around for a little extra clitoral stimulation throughout thrusting.
This angle can get intense quickly, so bonus points if the receiving partner engages their pelvic floor muscles or shifts their weight to adjust how the pressure hits, especially if your goal is to hit that G-spot sweet spot.
5. Top Shelf
Men's Healthcalls this one "Yourself on the Shelf," but we like to call it "Top Shelf" because it's giving full view, full grip, and climax potential that's hard to top. The receiving partner sits on the edge of a sturdy table or counter while the penetrating partner stands in front of them and slowly slides in, thrusting while keeping them in position. From there, legs can wrap around their waist, arms can encircle their back, and the closeness at peak ecstasy? Chef's kiss.
If you have the core strength, add lifting to the menu for the final strokes leading to orgasm. Otherwise, allow the surface to the heavy lifting and enjoy the pleasure.
6. The Thumper
What better way to remind yourself that you're both the snack and the entrée than with a little tableside service courtesy of The Thumper? This position has the receiving partner kneeling on a sturdy table or counter (keyword: sturdy), hands gripping the edge or braced in front for support. The penetrating partner can then either kneel behind them (if there's room for two), or stay anchored on the ground with both feet planted on the floor (similar to the previously mentioned Standing Doggy). It all depends on the mood.
Kneeling on the table offers just the right amount of leverage for deep, steady strokes. The receiving partner can play with tightness by either keeping their knees closer together for a snug grip, or open their knees wider to invite more access, depth, and stretch. The Thumper is versatile that way, and the most important thing? The receiver gets to be the main course. Yum.
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