

This Modern Balinese-Style Villa Airbnb Is The Perfect Getaway
A wise human once said, "A vacation away keeps the doctor at bay." Vacationing hasn't been the same since the pandemic but I think it's still essential to get away every now and then. Airbnb has been a game-changer for me since 2012. The homestay platform provides a sense of culture and community that you just can't get from staying at a hotel. The groundbreaking company is one of the largest lodging companies in the world with no actual properties.
A gem amongst the thousands of options: The Modern Balinese Style Villa. Designed by decor duo, Angelique and Alexander, the pair channeled their love for traveling and adventure into one of the most beautiful spaces on this planet.
"Our specialty is modern living with world influences: from Bali to Mexico, Norway to India. We will design your space from concept to completion. Oh, and we build our own properties that you can come and stay in: our first being a luxury Balinese style retreat in Encino, CA."
The opportunity presented itself to visit this stunning, perfectly nestled abode and all I could think was, "Black girls deserve luxury." So this Black girl and her best friend got to spend the unofficial end of summer, Labor Day, relishing in the most grandeur place I have ever laid my head. Not only is every crevice of the house social media-worthy but it oozes relaxation.
The Living Area
Courtesy of Angelique and Alexander
The moment I set my feet in the villa, I felt the intentionality of the space. The open living room space is brilliantly designed for modern living. You can cook in the bomb ass, all-marble-everything kitchen while binging your favorite Netflix show and relaxing on the chic couches. The superior indoor swing surrounded by plants engineered a sanctuary downright quintessential for tranquility.
The Primary Bedroom
Courtesy of Angelique and Alexander
Talk about breathtaking, the Primary Bedroom connects you to nature and was heavily inspired by Angelique and Alex's experience with the effervescent indoor/outdoor living seen all over Bali. "When we built this room, we wanted to bring the beauty of our tropical garden and water fountain right into the bedroom." Think lush jungle. Since it was my bestie's birthday, she took residence in this room for our stay. Let's just say she didn't want to leave this space because, well, who would?
The Bohemia Room
Courtesy of Angelique and Alexander
Keeping with the love for Balinese culture, the Bohemia room is a love letter to local artisans, their craftsmanship, and the deep vibrant colors of the countryside. The decor of this room paints a vivid picture of the timeless skill of the amazing Balinese people. I posted up in this room and, between the plants and buddhas giving me life, I too did not want to depart.
The White Room
Courtesy of Angelique and Alexander
Designed for complete tranquility, the White room was simplicity personified. "Drawing inspiration from one of our favorite temples in Bali, we wanted to create a bedroom which fills the guest with complete calm." I spent one morning in this room doing my meditation and I felt utter serenity.
Joce Blake
Walking around the villa, I couldn't help but be full of gratitude. Childhood Joce was so proud of Adult Joce because both of them deserved this. They deserve luxury. For me, that was why this getaway was paramount to my mental health. As of late, I have found myself justifying why I deserve luxurious things and the simple answer is I am worth it.
While it seems elementary, it's a constant struggle for me as I didn't grow up seeing Black women in my life showering themselves with lavish experiences. So as I grow wiser, I am teaching myself that it is the standard and not the exception.
The Bathroom
Courtesy of Angelique and Alexander
The elegance engrained around the villa gave voice to the rich auntie I aspire to be and who my nieces and nephew already believe I am. Seriously, look at this freaking bathroom! Who knew I only needed a flight to LA to be on the black sand beach beneath the Gunung Agung volcano?
The Backyard Oasis
Courtesy of Angelique and Alexander
There are no words to truly describe the beauty of the backyard safe haven. It's a literal dream. We took full advantage of the oasis with yoga by the buddha fountain, drinks by the pool, lounging on the cabana, and dipping in the pool like our names was on the deed – it felt like home.
Joce Blake
My bestie, Lauren Keys, had things to say about our baeFF-cation. "This villa was the perfect calm I needed during such a chaotic time in the world! No detail was left untouched which added to the peaceful vibes it gave," she said.
Traveling to Bali may not be an option for all but checking into this villa will certainly transport you to the Indonesian province without having to use your passport. The votes are in: I give this Modern Balinese Style Villa Airbnb 10s across the board!
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Featured image by Joce Blake
Originally published September 28, 2021
Joce Blake is a womanist who loves fashion, Beyonce and Hot Cheetos. The sophistiratchet enthusiast is based in Brooklyn, NY but has southern belle roots as she was born and raised in Memphis, TN. Keep up with her on Instagram @joce_blake and on Twitter @SaraJessicaBee.
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From Monogamy To Polyamory: 'I'm In An Asexual Poly Marriage With My Husband Of 7 Years'
Have you ever wondered what it's like to be asexual and in an open marriage? Relationship Coach Mikki Bey shared her first-hand experience with us as well as answered some of our burning questions.
Like a lot of people, Mikki met her now husband, Raheem Ali, online. As soon as they met, they instantly fell in love and got engaged on their first date. Just 90 days after they met, the couple tied the knot and have now been married for seven years. Raheem and Mikki aren’t your typical married couple, and despite being married for almost a decade, their marriage is anything but traditional. Mikki and Raheem have what she calls an "asexual polyamorous marriage."
Defining Her Sexuality
It wasn't until last summer that Mikki found the language to define her sexuality. "I didn't have the language for it until last summer," she explained to xoNecole. "Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing.”
Mikki always thought she was broken because she had no interest in sex. Mikki noticed after her friends came to visit and started discussing their sexual fantasies that she realized something was different about her. “At that point, I knew something was definitely different about me since I do not have sexual fantasies at all. It was truly news to me that people are at work thinking about sex! That was not my experience.” This led to Mikki researching asexuality, which she soon realized fit her to a T. “It felt like breathing new air when I was able to call it by name," said Mikki.
"Looking back, I just thought sex wasn't my thing. It was never enjoyable for me, and I'd go years without even noticing it."
Asexuality refers to people who experience little or no sexual attraction, experience attraction without acting on it sexually, or experience sexual attraction differently based on other factors. Like most things, asexuality falls on a spectrum and encompasses many other identities. It's important to remember, however, that attraction and action are not always synonymous: some asexuals may reject the idea of sexual contact, but others may be sex-neutral and engage in sexual activity.
It's possible that some asexuals will have sex with someone else despite not having a libido or masturbating, but others will have sex with a partner because it brings a sense of connection.
From a Traditional Marriage to Kitchen Table Polyamory
Although Mikki never really had a high sex drive, it wasn’t until after the birth of her son, that she noticed her sex drive took a real nosedive. “I never had a high sex drive, but about a year after my son was born, I realized I had zero desire. My husband has a high sex drive, and I knew that it would not be sustainable to not have sex in our marriage at that time.”
She was determined to find an alternative to divorce and stumbled upon a polyamory conversation on Clubhouse. Upon doing her own research, she brought up the idea to their husband, who was receptive. “It’s so interesting to me that people weigh sex so heavily in relationships when even if you are having a ton of sex, it’s still a very small percentage of the relationship activity," Mikki shared.
They chose polyamory because Mikki still wanted to be married, but she also wanted to make sure that Raheem was getting his individual needs and desires met, even if that meant meeting them with someone else. “I think that we have been programmed to think that our spouses need to be our 'everything.' We do not operate like that. There is no one way that fits all when it comes to relationships, despite what society may try to tell you. Their path to doing this thing called life together may be different from yours, but they found what works for them. We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us,” Mikki explained.
"We have chosen to design a marriage that works for us. We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sex partners to lifetime partners if it should go there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it."
She continued, “We both consent to each of us having everything from casual sexual partners to lifetime partners if it should get there. We believe love is abundant and do not limit ourselves or each other on how we express it. Our dynamic is parallel with kitchen table poly aspirations.”
Kitchen table polyamory (KTP) is a polyamorous relationship in which all participants are on friendly terms enough to share a meal at the kitchen table. Basically, it means you have some form of relationship with your partner’s other partner, whether as a group or individually. A lot of times, KTP relationships are highly personal and rooted in mutual respect, communication, and friendship.
Intimacy in an Asexual Polyamorous Marriage
Mikki says she and her husband, Raheem, still share intimate moments despite being in a polyamorous marriage. “Our intimacy is emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and physical, although non-sexual. We are intentional about date nights weekly, surprising and delighting each other daily, and most of all, we communicate our needs regularly. In my opinion, our intimacy is top-tier! I give my husband full-body massages, mani-pedis and make sure I am giving him small physical touches/kisses throughout the day. He is also very intentional about showing me his love and affection.”
Raheem and Mikki now use their lives as examples for others. On their website, thepolycouplenextdoor.com, they coach people interested in learning how to be consensually non-monogamous. “We are both relationship coaches. I specialized in emotional regulation, and Raheem specializes in communication and conflict resolution. The same tools we use in our marriage help our clients succeed in polyamory."
Mikki advises people who may be asexual or seeking non-monogamy to communicate their needs openly and to consider seeking sex therapy or intimacy coaching. Building a strong relationship with a non-sexual partner requires both empathy and compassion.
For more of Mikki, follow her on Instagram @getmikkibey. Follow the couple's platform on Instagram @thepolycouplenextdoor.
Featured image by skynesher/Getty Images