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Tonight's The Night For A More Romantic Sexual Experience With Your Partner
Look y'all—by no means am I saying that great sex only consists of a night that is first filled with romance. Those who've been having great sex for a long time now can totally testify to the fact that sometimes quickies or, what I like to call, "lust runs" (because lusting your partner is about having a really intense desire for them, to the point where you want to even bypass foreplay to get it in), are all a part of having a happy and totally fulfilling sex life. Still, that doesn't mean that there aren't some moments when couples shouldn't shift gears—make plans, dress up…woo each other. Sometimes, the combination of the romantic gestures, along with not being so quick to hop in the bed is what can make sex so much hotter—and even more meaningful—once the physical connection does transpire.
If you agree and you'd like for you and yours to have a romantic evening tonight, I've got 10 tips to nudge you in the direction of old-fashion seduction. Something that is oh-so-sexy when it comes to entering into copulation.
1. Go on a Date
I don't care how long you've been with someone or how well you think that you already know them, going on dates with your partner is something that should be prioritized in every relationship. Dates are how two people can spend quality time together. Dates are how two people can escape the…shoot, daily-ness of their everyday lives. And, if the date is planned out well enough, it can also spark a flame of romance into it too. I know that COVID-19 has thrown one of the biggest wrenches known to man when it comes to going out; that's why, a while back, I wrote a piece on how you can date at home. "10 Romantic Dates You Can Go On (In Your Own Home)" will hopefully offer up some inspiration so that you feel closer to your partner. That way, with any luck, the concentrated time alone will make the two of you want to get just that much closer as the night progresses.
2. Discuss Nothing but Each Other
A friend of mine, who's been married for almost three decades now, once said something that has remained in my mind, ever since it came out of their mouth. "Shellie, one of the hardest things about being married is you're trying to have sex with your business partner and, sometimes, business isn't sexy." Whew. This is why I say that, whenever you're on your date with your significant other, try and leave everything that has nothing to do with the two of you directly, totally off of the table. Matter of fact, even what does have to do with you, let it not be gripes, complaints or "issues".
Instead, stroll down memory lane. Flirt. Also, check out my article, "9 Sex-Related Questions You & Your Partner Should Ask Each Other. Tonight." too. Sometimes, when it comes to being sexually intimate with your partner, it's not that the desire is lacking so much as the focus. Set aside some time tonight to focus on nothing but what makes you love—and lust—your partner. Then open up your mind and heart to hear them express the same.
3. Create Bedroom Ambiance
This particular tip is one that could've just as easily gone before the date tip; it's really all about how much time/effort you want to put into setting the stage for a really great evening. Either way, another reason why, sometimes it's a challenge to engage in romantic copulation is because, probably 7-8 times out of 10, you're always in your bedroom. And if your bedroom always looks the same (minus the switch up on the sheets, of course), that can hinder you from getting excited at the mere thought of going back in there…again.
Years ago, I used to get paid to decorate married couples' bedrooms, in honor of special days like Valentine's Day or their anniversary. I learned there's simple things that you can do to make your bedroom so much more appealing. You can put colored light bulbs in your lamps; light some scented soy candles (soy candles burn cleaner and last longer); upgrade your pillows (the more support, the better…right?) including a couple of velvet pillows (they feel amazin'); get some jewel-toned bedding (it's warm and alluring); hang some blackout curtains that look like drapes (so that the room is super dark and a hint of romantic drama added to it) and, remove the appearance of all electronics minus whatever you plan on playing any sexy music from. Oh, and you can never go wrong by bringing some rose petals into the mix, whether it's sprinkling them on the floor, putting them on your bed, using them as potpourri for your nightstand, putting a couple of them into each glass of champagne, or filling your lingerie (or sexy toy) drawer with 'em. Simple "upgrades" like this can change your room from just a place where you sleep to the ultimate sex romp room.
4. Exchange Some Verbal Foreplay
While I am a huge fan of dirty talk—and that certainly can fit into this particular point very well—actually, when I say "verbal foreplay", what I mean is you and your partner taking out the time to simply honor and affirm one another. What's your favorite things about your partner? What do you appreciate about each other? What made you choose them above all others? Some of y'all might be too young to remember the scene from The Cosby Show when Cliff and Claire were spending a romantic evening away from home. At first, Cliff rushed to have sex. Yet when Claire basically asked him to step back and seduce her a little bit and he did, all of a sudden, she was ready to jump him (you can watch the clip here)! Telling someone how much you adore them and how important they are in your life definitely perks up their sense of hearing. And since the brain is the biggest sex organ we've got, the more desired we feel in our minds, the more our bodies will become more receptive. There's no doubt about that.
5. Give a Candle Wax or Chocolate Massage
There are at least 25 solid reasons why all of us should probably get a massage, no less than every 4-6 weeks. One of them is because they can work miracles in the area of our sex life. Massages soothe achy muscles and joints. Massages reduce stress levels (stress can make it hard for a man to maintain his erection and it can make it harder for us to orgasm). Massages also put us in a better mood, relieve any headaches or tension that we might have and, they increase flexibility and blood circulation, so that we can get into all of those sex positions that we've been wanting to try so that we can have the best climax ever once we do! Honestly, a massage alone is pretty romantic but if you want to up the ante, how about you and your partner engaging in either a candle wax or chocolate-themed one?
Massage candles are so popular at this point that you can usually even find them at your local drug store. You just let the flame melt the candle and then drip it onto your partner and massage the oil in (it's really sensual). A chocolate massage is one that includes ingredients like chocolate and mint (both of which are aphrodisiacs, by the way). A chocolate massage makes it possible to feel and like at the same time (whew chile!). If you'd like to give that one a shot, you can cop a really easy DIY recipe here.
6. Drink a Love Potion
Do love potion beverages actually make you hornier? Eh. But they are super romantic, really delicious and, if you use them to toast your partner (as they do the same for you), they can become another fitting addition to your evening of sexiness. Two love potion drinks that taste pretty damn wonderful are the Edinburgh Rose Romantic Cocktail (which has raspberries, champagne and even rose petals in it) and the Chocolate Cherry Cha-Cha (which consists of cherry liqueur, coconut rum and chocolate vodka). Or, if neither of those tickle your fancy, you can always go to your favorite search engine and put "Valentine's Day drink recipes" in the search field. I promise that you'll find a ton of romantic alcoholic and non-alcoholic drink recipes for the taking, if you do.
7. Kiss. A LOT.
I don't know about y'all, but based on how good—or not so good—a kiss is, that can determine, BIG TIME, on how much—and quickly—things can go any further. The right kiss? LAWD. HAVE. MERCY. Plus, kissing really is super-uber-especially romantic. The touches. The taste. The sounds. OK, let me get my head back into this article! Anyway, I know A LOT of men who actually find kissing to be at the very least, just as intimate as intercourse. Many have told me because, even with coitus, you can "hide behind" a condom. But when you're kissing, you're both in such an open and vulnerable state. I'd add that there is something very sweet about being so into a person that you're perfectly content with doing nothing but kissing them for countless minutes. Kissing is romantic. Make it a top focal point of your romantic sex-themed night.
8. Get into “Eye Contact” Positions
You know what they say—eyes are the windows of the soul, right? Even if you and your partner never made eye contact during sex, you're still gonna end up bonded because that is what natural hormone oxytocin is designed to do. But when you're that close together and you have moments when your eyes actually meet, there is absolutely no way that you can't feel emotionally connected on a whole 'nother level. If romance is the goal, be intentional about getting into sexual positions where he can stare into your eyes as you do the same to him. If you need a little help or inspiration when it comes to choosing the best position—or hopefully positions—to accomplish this goal, check out an article that has 113 positions (and pics) total here.
9. Participate in Afterplay
Earlier this spring, I penned an article entitled, "Sure, Your Foreplay Game Is On Point. Now What About The 'Afterplay'?" Bottom line, if foreplay is what helps to warm you up, afterplay is what helps to cool you down, in the best way possible. I'm pretty sure it's no surprise to you that, while great sex can hype us up for another round, oftentimes it does the exact opposite for our partner (hey, good sex and ejaculation can take a lot outta a brotha!). Something that can make you feel like you're not being gypped in between sessions is afterplay. It's when the two of you can talk, snack or even just cuddle in the spoon position until you're both ready to go again. Out of all of the tips that I shared here, I sincerely believe that sex would feel more romantic, even without all of the "extras", if couples made more time for afterplay more often.
10. Engage in Some Morning Sex
I won't lie. Probably my favorite line in Beyoncé and Jay Z's "Drunk in Love" song is when Jay says, "We sex again in the mornin', your breast-eses are my breakfast, we goin' in." Not only is it SEXY when you didn't get enough from your partner the night before that you've just gotta have them, first thing, in the morning as well—but morning sex can also be hella romantic because natural light, the quiet of the beginning of the day…needing to be with one another, intimately, before anything else…that's also really special. So, if you're out here wanting to have a romantic sex night tonight, try and reserve at least a half hour for some morning sex tomorrow. I have talked to many men about this topic and, for them, morning sex is really hard to beat. Hmph. If a lot of us really pondered when we like to get down, we'd agree with that sentiment too.
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Featured image of Giphy
- 10 Easy Ways To Make Sex More Romantic - Society19 ›
- How to Have Incredibly Romantic Sex | LoveToKnow ›
- 50 Easy Ways to Be a (Much) More Romantic Man | Best Life ›
- 11 Ways To Make Sex More Fun, Intense, And Intimate ›
- 10 tips to make your partner more romantic ›
- How to Be Romantic in Bed: 15 Steps (with Pictures) - wikiHow ›
- 8 Hot Tips for Couples to Have Incredibly Romantic Sex ›
- 5 Simple Ways to Make Sex More Romantic ›
After being a regular contributor for about four years and being (eh hem) MIA in 2022, Shellie is back penning for the platform (did you miss her? LOL).
In some ways, nothing has changed and in others, everything has. For now, she'll just say that she's working on the 20th anniversary edition of her first book, she's in school to take life coaching to another level and she's putting together a platform that supports and encourages Black men because she loves them from head to toe.
Other than that, she still works with couples, she's still a doula, she's still not on social media and her email contact (missnosipho@gmail.com) still hasn't changed (neither has her request to contact her ONLY for personal reasons; pitch to the platform if you have story ideas).
Life is a funny thing but if you stay calm, moments can come full circle and this is one of them. No doubt about it.
This New Scalp Care Line Is Exactly What Your Wash Days Need
This post is in partnership with SheaMoisture.
When it comes to healthy hair care, there are a few things that will help you achieve healthy strands: a healthy hair care regime, hydration, consistent treatments, and scalp care. While scalp care is one of the most neglected practices, it is also one of the most important. Why? Because it helps promote healthy hair growth, clear hair follicles, and remove build-up.
When it comes to creating a healthy scalp routine, it helps to know exactly what you’re up against so you know how to specifically treat it. Two of the most common concerns are dandruff and dry scalp. It can be tough to decipher which is which, but here’s a quick breakdown: dry scalp is caused by a lack of moisture in the skin, while dandruff is caused by an excess of oil and yeast buildup on the scalp. Knowing that both of these are big concerns, SheaMoisture released two separate product lines to address both issues: the Scalp Moisture collection and the Anti-Dandruff collection.
Needless to say, if you tend to experience dandruff then I’d recommend you try the Anti-Dandruff collection. However, my biggest concern has always been dry scalp. A lack of moisture on the scalp can be caused by several factors like weather, age, and hair products to name a few. I’ve noticed that when I use certain gels or skip out on a deep scalp cleanse, my roots feel itchy and dry nonstop, which is uncomfortable.
The only way to relieve the discomfort is to properly wash and moisturize my roots, so I tried the Scalp Moisture collection and this is what I thought.
Krissy Lewis for xoNecole
First, What’s In The Collection?
The Scalp Moisture collection is a four-product line that includes a pre-wash masque, a moisturizing shampoo and conditioner, and a moisturizing scalp cream. Each product uses moisturizing and strengthening ingredients like aloe butter and vitamin B3 as active ingredients to provide eight times the moisture. Together, aloe butter and vitamin B3 work to restore dry and brittle hair, as well as add relief to the scalp.
Now, let’s break down each product…
Krissy Lewis for xoNecole
Scalp Moisture Pre-Wash Masque
The SheaMoisture Scalp Moisture Pre-Wash Masque may actually be the all-star of the collection. Using this deep conditioning masque is one of the best ways to target your dry scalp, restore hydration, and nourish your strands before shampooing.
I started by completely saturating my hair and scalp with water, then making small sections to apply the masque directly to the root. For my girls who have experience with relaxers and perms, it helps to apply the masque to your roots just like you would do with a relaxer. This way you can make sure you’ve covered as much of your scalp as possible while minimizing any breakage.
Pro tip: you can also use a color application brush to make this step easier.
After I completely covered my scalp, I massaged the product into my roots, used any excess on my strands, then left the masque in for 30 minutes. I was shocked by how moisturizing and clarifying my scalp and hair felt. One of the things that I love about the masque is the slip and how much softer it made my hair. While this is marketed as a scalp care product, it can completely transform your hair from dry and parched to completely hydrated.
In my opinion, the downside of this masque is that the quantity is too small for my liking. Truth be told, naturals go through deep conditioners faster than any other product (especially when it’s this good.) So SheaMoisture, if you’re reading this, we’d love a bigger jar.
Krissy Lewis for xoNecole
Scalp Moisture Shampoo
The SheaMoisture Scalp Moisture Shampoo is a gentle cleanser packed with the same moisture as the masque. The pearl-colored shampoo is lightweight with a serum-like consistency and a light and clean scent. The smell is pleasant, subtle, and not overbearing. When I applied the shampoo, I noticed immediately that it foams and lathers up very quickly, so less is more.
After applying the shampoo, I parted my hair and started at the roots to target as much of my scalp as possible. I recommend really taking the time to work the product and massage your scalp as much as possible.
Pro tip: using a scalp massager makes it easier and it feels amazing.
Once you start to massage your hair you’ll feel the product start to work. There’s a tingling sensation that might catch you off guard if you’re not used to it, but it’s not nearly as strong as other scalp products I’ve tried. I know some may not appreciate the sensation, but I loved it! My scalp felt clean, light, and breathable.
Krissy Lewis for xoNecole
Scalp Moisture Conditioner
Like the shampoo, the SheaMoisture Scalp Moisture Conditioner shares that pearly color and serum-like feel. It applies very easily while softening and moisturizing your hair. When I applied it to my hand, it gave my hands a lotion-like feel, which speaks volumes about its hydration capabilities. I also loved that the conditioner comes with a pump, instead of having to squeeze the product out – to me, it makes application easier.
I typically apply my conditioner to the ends first but because this is a scalp care product I started at the root and worked my way down to my ends. I did leave the conditioner in for ten minutes, although the bottle recommends leaving it in for three. The conditioner also provides that same breathable feel to your scalp. I honestly loved the relief.
Krissy Lewis for xoNecole
Scalp Moisture Cream
The SheaMoisture Scalp Moisture Cream is more of a daily relief product for your roots rather than your overall hair. It’s great for providing moisture and immediate relief to a dry and itchy scalp. Just like most of the collection, it gives a light and breathable feel – without the tingle. The applicator bottle targets specific parts of your scalp and makes applying easier.
Pro tip: I typically just squeeze the bottle to wherever I need the relief and use the tip to massage it into my scalp so it doesn’t mess up the hairstyle.
Overall, SheaMoisture’s scalp care line lives up to its claims – it moisturizes, strengthens, and provides immediate scalp relief. I definitely recommend trying the Scalp Moisture collection for an affordable way to treat itchy and dry scalp.
Featured image by Krissy Lewis for xoNecole
This Is How To Handle Humidity When It Comes To Your Hair This Summer
If you’ve ever wondered why it’s more humid during this time of the year, the answer is pretty simple: the hotter the weather is, the easier it is for moisture to be trapped in it. As a result, it can feel hotter than it actually is outdoors, and it can be easier to sweat and our hair? Chile, our hair.
Even though our hair texture can benefit from humidity (because it’s naturally drier than other ethnicities), if our strands swell up from the moisture too much, that can result in strands that are full of frizz. Why? Because moisture makes our cuticles open up, and frizz is what they oftentimes look like whenever they do.
Does this mean that you have to surrender to an entire season of styling frustration? Absolutely not. Now that you know what can sometimes cause more than a few so-called bad hair days during the summertime, here are 15 ways to either cause humidity to work in your favor or to combat it in ways that are stress-free yet super effective.
1. Remember, Moisture Reduces Breakage
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If you’re someone who struggles with your hair plateauing (which basically means it seems to stop at a certain point as are as retaining length is concerned), a big part of that is probably because your ends are breaking off about as fast as your hair is growing out of your scalp — and that could be due to a lack of moisture.
So, why is it that our hair finds a way to feel like straw faster than any other ethnicity? It’s because our texture tends to be much curlier, and so, even though natural oils from our scalp come down our hair strands too, oftentimes they don’t get coated from root to tip due to our coils. As a result, we have to add extra moisture via hair products.
Again, the good news is that humidity can help to add some hydration to our stands as well. This is why, while super humid days can cause “other folks” to have really frizzy hair (because it’s already well-moisturized), oftentimes our curly texture is thriving; it’s been wanting to receive some of the water that the air has to offer. The key is to follow through on some of these other tips so that the curls don’t get out of control (via frizz).
2. Don’t Be Afraid of Humectants
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Since I have mostly 4a-type hair and it’s high porosity, I have to be hypervigilant about keeping moisture in my hair. For instance, if I know that I’m going to keep it in, say, cornrows for a while, I’ll add a humectant, whether it’s glycerin or a DIY spray that has some honey in it. Why? Because they’re both humectants which basically means they are ingredients that are able to pull moisture out of the air and into our hair (and skin).
Some other healthy humectants that are pretty effective include aloe vera gel, hyaluronic acid, panthenol, lactic acid, and oats. According to some hair experts, even cucumbers can hydrate your hair. Like, if you apply a homemade cucumber hair mask as a final step on wash day, it can be great for your hair until it’s time to shampoo and condition it again.
Just mix the puree of one cucumber with an egg and your favorite carrier oil (olive or Jamaican black castor oil are both awesome), and then apply it to damp, clean hair. Let it sit for 20 minutes, and then rinse out thoroughly with warm and then cool water. You will instantly feel (and notice) a difference.
3. Make Grapeseed Oil Your Friend
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A few years ago, I wrote an article for the platform entitled “7 Essential Oils All Naturalistas Need For Their Hair.” If you want to get the most out of those, it’s a good idea to add them to a carrier oil like olive, sweet almond, avocado, jojoba, or grapeseed oil.
As far as grapeseed specifically goes, it’s loaded with antioxidants and vitamin E that work to reduce oxidative stress, fight off free radicals, improve blood circulation to your scalp, and moisturize your hair without it feeling greasy.
Something else that’s in grapeseed oil is linoleic acid. It’s wonderful for your tresses because it has a way of smoothing down hair cuticles, adding hydration, and nourishing your hair follicles — and you know what all of this boils down to, right? A lot more curls and a lot less frizz.
So, whether you add a dab into your palm and rub it across your hair or you use it to break a cast of a braid-out or twist-out (more on those in a bit), grapeseed oil will have your hair looking and feeling quite wonderful all summer long.
4. Use Shea Butter on Your Ends
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Between the antioxidants, vitamins A and E, properties that protect from UV damage, and its ability to soothe and, to a certain extent, even heal dandruff — it makes all of the sense in the world to use shea butter on your hair. Although I personally apply it more on my face and lips, I’ve been getting more settled into applying it to my ends, whether it comes to sealing them or just making sure to give them some added moisture.
Matter of fact, there are scientific studies to support that shea butter is great at reducing breakage, especially in our hair. A big part of the reason is that it’s able to moisturize the oldest parts of our hair while also keeping our cuticles from getting totally out of control due to humidity.
Just make sure that you use the kind of shea butter that is in its best condition. Because it’s a product that is more commercialized than ever, when buying some, make sure that it has a strong nutty scent, that it ranges from off-white to yellow in hue, that it absorbs quickly into your skin, and that the merchant can confirm that it will last between 1-3 years. All of these are signs of a trustworthy shea butter product.
5. This Is When Braid-Outs and Twist-Outs Can Thrive
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I won’t lie — if you like having that bone-straight look (from flat ironing or silk pressing, if your hair happens to be natural), summer is not really the season to make that attempt. Although, I will say that Color Wow’s Dream Coat Anti-Humidity Hair Treatment can keep your locks smoother for longer, no matter what time of year it is. That said, in my opinion, if you want to wear your hair out, I recommend a braid-out or twist-out instead.
The key is to make sure that your hair is super detangled, that your braids or twists are hella defined, and that you go with something that is gel-based if you want to fight frizz as much as possible — although I will say that an influencer who has a YouTube channel called Only One Jess did put me onto one of the best hair creams that I have ever tried — mostly because I have experienced zero flaking with it. It’s called Taliah Waajid, and y’all…Y’ALL. If you want to try the cream, their curly cream (here) is gonna get and keep your hair super right — summertime included.
6. Shampoo in Cooler Water
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When it’s sizzling outside, probably nothing sounds better than a cool shower. And did you know that taking one does wonders for your hair? First up, it closes up the pores on your scalp, which helps to keep “gunk” (sweat, hair products, etc.) from clogging up your hair follicles. Since hot water can be dehydrating, cool water can also prevent dry scalp and dry hair. And, since it seals your hair’s cuticles, it’s another way to combat frizz — if indeed that is something that you’re trying to avoid. And when your cuticles are smooth, that means smoother and shinier hair.
By the way, while this topic is on my mind if you happen to live in a city that comes with hard water, that can do a number on your strands as well. One way to avoid it is to invest in a shower head that comes with a soft water filter. Amazon has a lot of different affordable options that you can choose from here.
7. Do an Apple Cider Vinegar Rinse
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The antimicrobial and antioxidant properties in apple cider vinegar make it something that you can rely on when it comes to a myriad of health-related needs. It helps to regulate your blood sugar, aids in weight loss, is used as a natural remedy for nail fungus, can relieve symptoms related to eczema, and may help to lower your cholesterol levels too.
As far as your hair’s health and well-being are concerned, the cool thing about apple cider vinegar is the properties in it can keep the pH balance in your hair and scalp where it should be, can remove product build-up from your hair, and can also help to smooth your cuticles — and that can give your hair lots of shine, no matter what the weather may be like.
8. Also, Do a Protein Treatment
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I hate how long it took me to take protein treatments seriously because once I did, I started to see a real change in the overall quality of my hair. Because your hair is made up of mostly protein (keratin), of course, it’s something that you need in order to maintain the health and elasticity of it. This is especially the case if your ends experience a lot of wear and tear due to heat styling tools.
So, what are some signs that you could use a protein treatment ASAP?
- Your hair lacks flexibility
- Your hair doesn’t seem to hold any style
- Your hair sheds a lot
- Your hair is color-treated
- Your hair breaks easily
If any of this is happening, definitely add some protein to your hair. Personally, I use ApHogee Two-Step Protein Treatment every six weeks or so. Yet if you decide to go with it or something that is based in soy protein (it strengthens damaged hair), silk protein (it softens your tresses), rice protein (it’s great for a sensitive scalp), or any other protein option, just make sure to balance out your protein with your moisturizer. That way, you don’t make your hair too hard — because, even when it comes to protein, there is such a thing as “too much of a good thing.”
9. Use a Leave-In Conditioner
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When you have low porosity hair, what that basically means is your cuticles are lying very flat, which makes it hard for moisture to get into your hair strands. On the other hand, if you’re like me and you have high porosity hair, your cuticles are open and oftentimes have holes in them. As a result, your hair takes in moisture very easily, yet, on the flip side, the moisture tends to leave just as fast as it comes.
The solution? Well, one of the best ones is to use a leave-in conditioner. It will definitely help moisture to last in your hair a lot longer than just conditioning after shampooing does. There are plenty of leave-ins to choose from (Lord knows), and I’ve tried more than I care to count or mention. The one that has worked for me most and best is Mielle Organics' Pomegranate & Honey Leave-In Conditioner. It literally keeps my hair soft and moisturized for a week solid — and for my hair, that’s truly saying something.
10. Trim Those Ends
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While you’re out here thinking that you hate summer weather (as far as your hair goes) because it causes your hair to frizz up, make sure that you check those ends of yours first. If they are dry, split, or raggedy, that is going to be a bigger culprit to frizzing than humidity will ever be.
Yeah, this is a friendly reminder that it’s a good idea to start off the summer with a professional trim — or at least to do some dusting on your own with some sharp hair shears. Long story short, dusting is all about taking small sections of your hair and removing an inch or less (preferably) of bad ends from them. You can watch videos on dusting here, here, and here.
11. Enjoy Some Wash ‘N Gos
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So, what if you want to do something to your hair that requires as little effort as possible and is virtually fearless of how humid the weather may decide to be? If that is indeed the case, look no further than a wash ‘n go. It plays up on your hair’s natural texture and requires very little styling manipulation, the “cast” that the gel creates can help to protect your hair from extreme weather elements, and if you use something like the shingling method (here), you can get hella curl definition.
Click here, here, and here for tips on how to get the most out of your own DIY wash ‘n go look.
12. Accessorize the Entire Hell Outta Your Hair
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If you plan on spending a lot of time traveling, by some body of water, or simply in the great outdoors from dawn until dusk (or vice versa), who said that you need to worry about styling your hair all summer long? Indeed, another way to not fight the fear of humidity is to play up your hair’s look with the help of a few accessories.
Some of the ones that are trending this season include claw clips, small barrettes, beaded jewelry (like the gems that you see on braids and twists), large satin scarves, headwraps, and, believe it or not (whew, chile)…scrunchies.
13. Sleep with a Humidifier
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Personally, I’m a huge fan of humidifiers. So much, in fact, that I wrote an entire piece devoted to them a couple of years back (check out “10 Really Good Reasons To Get Yourself A Humidifier This Fall”). And why should you want one in your bedroom for your hair? Good question.
Just like a humidifier can bring moisture to your skin throughout the night, it can do the same thing for your tresses. So, if you happen to have an itchy and/or irritable scalp, your hair is high porosity, or your hair seems like it’s full of frizz due to dryness or hair damage from over-styling, the hydration from a humidifier can help to alleviate all of this.
14. If You MUST…Braids
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And what if you read all of this and you’re saying to yourself, “Yeah…I just don’t want to deal with my hair at all” — while I do think that this is the season when you can learn more about how to make your texture and humidity work in harmony, a styling alternative that is pretty much surefire is braids.
This season, some of the most popular looks include microbraids, goddess braids, cornrows, box braids that are in a bob, Fulani braids, Jayda Wayda braids, and peek-a-boo braids.
15. Never Treat Shrinkage As “Problematic”
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Whenever I read articles on the topic of shrinkage, it’s interesting how political some of them can get. While some have no problem using the word (I don’t), others think there is no such thing; some believe that wanting to stretch out strands means that there is some sort of subconscious shame surrounding our natural hair texture.
Maybe if other ethnicities didn’t go to great lengths to alter their own hair texture for the sake of variety when it comes to different hairstyles, I would see the point — yet since that isn’t even close to being the case, I don’t think that shrinkage is a bad word nor do I think that stretching out your curls is a bad thing. What makes Black hair so incomparable is the countless ways that we can manipulate it…and how good it looks with every method/approach that we take.
With all of that out of the way, I will say that if you want to go as low-maintenance as possible with your hair this summer and you don’t want to spend a lot of time overthinking what the weather is gonna do (or not do), please don’t factor shrinkage into the mix. There are too many products out here now that can bring the most out of your hair just the way it is, without any kind of stretching being done to it at all.
So, run some juices and berries, oils, creams, or gels, and then hit the door. It’s too beautiful outside to spend a ton of time on your hair or to be stressing out about humidity. Your hair is bomb regardless, so you got this. Happy Summer Styling Time, y'all!
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