

A decade is a lifetime in entrepreneurship. Back when I started my company, I was a bright-eyed recently graduated 24-year-old, engaged to my college boyfriend, brimming with optimism and unyielding determination. 10 years on and I'm still resolute in my pursuit, despite many unexpected pivots along the way. It's been the best journey yet and the thing I'm most proud of. My only regret is not having had the humility to ask for help–a coach, a mentor, a business role model–until a few years in.
As such, I'm sharing the 10 lessons I've learned through the years as atonement for my less-savvy twenty-something self. I hope it helps, and if you still have questions, let's talk online.
1.Prioritize Your Own Health and Happiness.
Shutterstock
I always believed that entrepreneurship would be my vehicle to freedom. Executed thoughtfully and with care, it can and should reinforce your lifestyle, ideals, and how you want to contribute to the world. When I speak of freedom, I'm not referring to the version glorified on social media. I'll be the first to admit that much of my day-to-day activity includes fulfilling requests made by our clients and my team. So, the social media version of being your own "boss" is a false narrative. Instead, seek the type of freedom that creates a space for you to always work from a place of authenticity, and allow that work to act as an extension of how you see yourself in the world.
2.Create Your Own Definition of Success.
For years, growth looked like a beautiful office with chandeliers, high ceilings and a chalk wall (because...millennials, duh). I made it my reality and delighted in it for a bit. But once I "had it all", I realized I was chasing society's standards of what an established agency should look like. I had grown attached to superficial definitions of success by watching my competitors–without having any clue what they were bringing in monthly or what kept them up at night. I lacked meaningful measurements to draw comparisons from – the Internet will do that. Once I spent some time introspecting about my business, it became crystal clear that my utmost desire in life is to contribute meaningful work to the world and to create opportunities for others. Since then, I wake up every morning full of disbelief and amazement at the stories we get to tell each day.
3.Seek Mentors and Always Know the Ask.
One day, you'll look up and realize that it's up to you to seek and find inspiration and to hold yourself to your promises to others. This can be problematic because there's always a new way to be more efficient and there are constantly new ways to innovate. A mentor should hold you accountable and ensure you're always refining your skills. But the relationship should be mutually beneficial. Be thoughtful about how you add value to the life of your mentor and always be prepared prior to meeting with them. Know what the asks are and what you hope to gain during each encounter.
4.Continue Developing, Growing, and Learning.
In addition to mentors, I've enrolled in business development programs (Goldman Sachs 10,000 Small Businesses was one). If you skipped business school and went right into entrepreneurship, I can't stress enough how important this is. The truth is, some of your competitors may not offer an exceptional product or service, but have the advantage of a greater business acumen. Developing your business skills helps you to scale up or down based on business performance, not emotions. For example, I've had up to six full-time employees, down to two and back up again to six. I've realized that growth doesn't always have to be linear. It can look like expanding on your existing services and offerings. You can increase your monthly fee or add additional services to existing accounts. Ultimately, growth requires investment, which can feel risky, however worthwhile.
5.Be Ready to Sacrifice.
Shutterstock
By 30, I was on my way to divorce while being forced to face some hard truths about my personal finances. I had neither traveled much nor cultivated new friendships beyond my college peers. I'd put everything into my company and I had missed out on many adventures and personal growth opportunities as a result. What's still true is that entrepreneurship can be lonely, so be ready to commit to radical self-care. So many of your personal and professional highs and lows will be determined by you, you alone and (if you believe) the God or Goddess you serve. The upside is that sacrifice can yield a life from which an abundance of joy, balance, and options flow.
6.Ask for What You’re Worth.
Through the years I've received some pretty amazing offers for full-time employment on political campaigns and within corporate organizations. In order to say "no" with confidence, I had to increase our rates so I'd sleep well at night feeling valued. However, it wasn't until year five that I added myself to our payroll. Again...nothing worth having is without sacrifice. I wish the 25-year-old version of myself had the confidence that I do in my 30's to fight for me, my team and my contractors the way I do now. Don't get me wrong, the pay gap still exists. I'm constantly reassessing our value proposition and trying to set a new standard for women who look like me. Frankly, we're taken advantage of the most in business. But it's a wonderful time to be alive. We have access to thousands of data points and digital content to allow our work to speak for itself.
7.Make Mistakes. Revel in Them.
It wasn't until year five that I enrolled in a business development program and acquired many of the tools and resources I needed to structure my back office in a meaningful way. As you can probably imagine, mistakes tied to finances, operations and administration are often the most costly. However, if you asked me today to get a business up and running within 48 hours, I'd gladly accept the challenge. The mistakes I've made through the years forced me to sit down, analyze, and ultimately continue to develop better ways to do business. I am grateful for that.
8.Stay Networking.
When we initially launched, our team committed to three networking events per week. Yes, it was exhausting. Yes, it paid off. Most of the contacts I have now are people I met in those early years. I never tire of picking up the phone and hearing, "I met you many years ago…" There is so much power in putting yourself out there. Stay open to the possibilities of budding relationships–they can flower and bear fruit.
9.Lead with your Heart, and the Money will Follow.
I kid you not, for every phase I've gone through in life personally, there's been a campaign or client I was able to channel that energy into in a positive way. In recent years, we've been able to shape dozens of stories around women, health, equity, access, community development and more. This isn't always easy when you're just coming out the gate. Once you become confident in your ability and certain in your values, you won't even blink at the opportunities that aren't aligned with you. I firmly believe in the law of attraction and Medley is proof.
10.Play to Your Strengths.
Shutterstock
Recently, a friend encouraged me to slow down on acquiring new skills and focus on what's right in front of me. This became an opportunity to reflect on the past 10 years, while nurturing the best area to build upon over the next 10 years. What she was referring to was my need to cultivate my leadership skills. I'm grateful for having been able to steer this ship for so long, but my company only grows if I grow. As mentioned, I've always seen entrepreneurship and leadership as a path to freedom – I was being called "bossy" in kindergarten (before Beyonce and friends banned it). But good leaders grow both themselves and others and are constantly modifying their style of leadership.
Play to your strengths. That's how I plan to spend the next decade.
Did you know that xoNecole has a new podcast? Join founder Necole Kane, and co-hosts Sheriden Chanel and Amer Woods, for conversations over cocktails each and every week by subscribing to xoNecole Happy Hour podcast on Itunes and Spotify.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here to receive our latest articles and news straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Shutterstock
- 5 Life Lessons You Can Learn from Entrepreneurs ›
- 10 Lessons Learned From Being An Entrepreneur | Hacker Noon ›
- 7 Life Lessons From My Entrepreneurship Journey ›
- The 7 Lessons Every Entrepreneur Must Learn to Thrive | Inc.com ›
- 10 Amazing Lessons From Being an Entrepreneur | by Larry Kim ... ›
- The Most Valuable Lessons These 5 Top Entrepreneurs Have ... ›
There is a unique place where PR, technology and digital media overlap and in that place is where I thrive. In 2009, when social media was newly on the rise, I set out on a mission to marry traditional PR with the latest trends in technology. Since then, I've launched a boutique PR and digital marketing agency, Medley Inc. Through my work in the community, I have educated and trained more than 400 hundred girls and budding entrepreneurs in the areas of technology, social media and leadership development. I'm always eager to connect with others! Twitter: @AshleyRSmall.
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image screenshot/ xoNecole YouTube
How Power Women Protect Their Finances With Smart Money Boundaries
No matter what it is, setting boundaries can be challenging, especially when those boundaries involve money. But if you want to sustain success and financial freedom, boundaries are important, both with yourself and with others.
Many wealthy successful women have mastered setting boundaries and prioritizing accountability so that they can ensure they remain that way. Let's face it: If you want a certain quality of life and you work hard to achieve that, you don't want to risk it by taking on habits that jeopardize your financial stability.
Be inspired to not only set money boundaries but keep them by taking heed to the common financial boundaries power women of today establish:
1. They pay themselves first.
Building consistent savings habits is important to wealth-building no matter how much you earn, and the practice is often one that continues even after you're well-booked and well-paid. Actress, producer, and philanthropist Queen Latifah has always been a proponent of this after learning from her mom to "save your money."
This is the epitome of the energy behind paying yourself first. You squirrel something away and take care of yourself by taking care of your future first, before paying any bills. You invest in yourself (within your means and with a budget in mind, of course).
2. They don't loan money without clear repayment rules and expectations are agreed upon.
It's awesome to be able to help people out by loaning them money, but when you don't communicate clearly about repayment (or what will happen if the money is not repaid) you set yourself up for a cycle of taking on other's debts and maybe even building more debt of your own.
Unless you're doing charity, set those boundaries early about when and how a loan will be repaid. And if you know you won't get the money back, rethink the loan altogether.
3. They create budgets that are realistic and reflect their current lifestyle.
In her book, What I Know for Sure, Oprah Winfrey wrote, “I hope the way you spend your money is in line with the truth of who you are and what you care about.” This is key for many successful women, especially when they're budgeting and investing.
Issa Rae told Money.com, "I don’t splurge just because. I will never have 17 cars. I will never have expensive jewelry. I don’t spend that much on my clothes, or shoes. I will spend money on a stylist, and a makeup artist, because those things feel necessary for work. But material things? No."
There's a clear indication that there are clear value systems sustained by what matters to them no matter how much they make, and budgeting is a huge part of that.
4. They consider the long-term effects of a rash purchase before proceeding.
It's totally okay to treat yourself, but if you find yourself impulsively buying things you don't really need or always living check to check because you've maxed out your credit card to take that sixth trip in one year, there's a problem that might put a damper on those financial freedom plans. (That is unless your trip is part of how you make your money, and it's a worthy investment into expanding your prospects.)
Successful women are conscious of the long- and short-term effects of purchases, small and large. They're always thinking about how one action can impact the bigger picture.
5. They are givers and believe in the reciprocity of that.
Many of us are familiar with the famous quote, "To whom much is given, must is required," and there's that undertone of service and charity that is a common thread for wealthy, successful women, especially those who run businesses or lead brands. Involving yourself in acts of service not only enriches your development and that of communities, but it increases your exposure, network, and credibility, often leading to more opportunities to make more money.
Most leading CEOs, entrepreneurs, and professionals are big on giving back, whether it is through resources, a nonprofit, money, or their time. "As you become more successful, it's important for you to give back. Even if you can't financially give back, kind words and sharing about other businesses on social media mean so much. Every little thing counts. Help out your friends and family with advice, encouragement, and support," said Angela Yee, award-winning radio host and entrepreneur.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Charday Penn/Getty Images
Originally published on August 16, 2024