
As Told To is a recurring segment on xoNecole where real women are given a platform to tell their stories in first-person narrative as told to a writer.
This is Jada Rashawn's story, as told to Charmin Michelle.
I am a black nanny for an affluent and well-known white family. As in, "signed-an-NDA-and-can't-discuss-them", well-known and affluent.
And I wouldn't have it any other way.
Admittedly, I never knew I would end up here. My first business was actually at the age of 9, back in Detroit, braiding the kids', and even some of the moms', hair in the neighborhood. For a while, everyone thought I was going to be a hairstylist, or a journalist because my mom said I talked a lot and I used to pretend I had my own television show. I thought I was Oprah, y'all!
We relocated to San Antonio when I was twelve, which is when I began helping my mom in the children's department at our church. We were that family HEAVILY involved in the church we attended, so most of the friends I made were friends from there.
Anyway, I didn't think anything of it at the time other than I was getting to sneak away from the long service my pastor preached, but watching my mom and how animated she was with the kids, really started planting the seed of caring for children in my head. She made it fun for the kids, and for herself. I ignored this path for a bit though because like so many of us, I was multi-passionate at an early age, and I never wanted to be boxed in. I loved doing hair, speaking, dancing, acting and even drawing. I had a hard time figuring out what I wanted to do as I got older for that very reason.
I graduated high school, and enrolled in college for small business management, with a concentration in entrepreneurship. Soon, the childcare thing started to stick when I got my first job working at a day school while in college. I had a coworker who was offered a nanny position from one of the parents of the children in our class, and I'll never forget the way they presented the job opportunity to her. They pulled her to the side, and their body language just gave off the idea that they were about to offer her something big. And they did. Sis put in her two weeks' notice at work to become a private nanny. I was like, "Private nanny? The heck is that?" Only nanny I'd heard of was Nanny Fran.
So, I started doing my research on exactly what the nanny profession was all about, and I discovered this entire world. Nannies working for rich people, traveling all over the world and getting paid to play with their most prized possessions for a living.
Sounded easy, fun, and a bit exclusive too. I liked what I was seeing, and of course, I completely failed to acknowledge the actual work and not-so-glamorous side to the industry (but that's what we tend to do when we're just excited about something). I began to freelance as a babysitter for various families, and then slowly built up my experience to work with an agency where the big jobs worth "bragging" about were.
And eventually, I worked my way up to where I am now, a Nanny/Family Household Manager, which is a fancy way of saying I work very closely with the parents and the role requires me to make a ton of decisions on their behalf.
Do I love it? Abbbbbsolutely. And here's why:
OK, so there are many unspoken, frustrating misconceptions about black nannies...and rightfully so. Some people wonder why black women even want to work as nannies, especially for white families. There's been times where I've personally experienced racial encounters where once, while walking in a bourgeois neighborhood, I was surrounded by not 1, not 2, but FOUR police tahoes while walking my nanny kiddo—all because "I fit the definition of a suspicious pregnant woman walking with a stroller." #eyeroll (the nerve, I was not pregnant).There's been times where I've been "promoted", but shortly afterward, I noticed a pay cut. Yes, you read that right.
And additionally, many assume that we aren't treated or compensated fairly, and to be honest with you, it's very true that tons of nannies get taken advantage of. But in my experience, that has been with both black and non-black nannies, due to not knowing how to advocate for themselves.
These are all experiences that I've had, lessons that I've learned, and now, information that I'll gladly share. And aside from loving my families and kids, these have all contributed to my passion of advancing the trade.
But Jada, don't you know that many white families prefer black nannies because of long-standing, racially-motivated traditions?
Yes, I know this, yes, I sense this. Movies such as The Help and Gone With the Wind often come to mind whenever a black person says they're a nanny (meanwhile….Mary Poppins flying in on an umbrella often come to mind for non-black nannies). Chile. Listen, for some, hiring a black nanny is simply their way of introducing culture to their children. They like the idea of a black woman caring for their children, for a number of reasons, yes, but also because we can have the conversation about race if it ever comes up. They know this rich life oftentimes creates a false reality of what the real world is like for everyday individuals, and in some way to them hiring a nanny who doesn't look like them is there way of introducing/exposing their children to that.
Make no mistake about it, I always tell potential employers, as well as clients, I'm not here to be someone's black history teacher.
I'm here to do a job and while those conversations will come up out of the curiosity of the child, their black nanny shouldn't be their only way of exposure to cultures and races different from them. Besides, I've had the opportunity to work for black families, white families, Native American families, as well as Asian families—same thing. Fortunately, the families I've worked for totally get that and the kids I've helped raise have a huge respect and appreciation for everyone of every background. So, my job is done there.
—
Over time, my job has afforded me so much abundance, which is all I could ever ask for. All of my experiences make up for the most rewarding, fulfilling career imaginable, and the good news is becoming a nanny is pretty simple once you have a good amount of experience—just two years will get you a position with decent pay and benefits. But as the industry continues to grow, the more experience and qualifications you have helps you immensely. Families want the best of the best for their children, so arrive packaged, and ready to work.
There's a few different routes you can take to land a position, which all have their pros and cons. You can go through a referral/friend, apply to various agencies, or even join an online website (much like a dating site) that allows you to create a profile and families to find and hire you directly. If you are just starting out with little to no experience, you'll want to take advantage of sitter sites and referrals to help establish you and build up your resume to prove you know how to care for and keep a child happy—and most importantly—alive (haha). I always recommend linking up with a really good agent. There weren't many agents in my area at the time early on in my career, and the ones I worked with got me fairly decent positions in the beginning, but they lacked advocacy and support for the nanny, so I created No Other Nanny, where I educate families on market rates, fair pay, etc. I introduce the information that is mostly discovered once you're in the industry. And what has taken me years and years to learn.
Ultimately, ladies, if you are interested in becoming a nanny, do iiiiit, sis. If you love children, and love working with them, I would highly recommend doing further research on this industry. Or let's have coffee and chat about it. #Nannylife can truly be a dope life when you discover how diverse it's become. I love it and thoroughly enjoy taking part in helping take it to the next level.
One precious, beautiful, loving, and amazing child at a time.
Jada is currently working on continuing to building her business and educate aspiring nannies all over the country. Follow her on Instagram @jadarashawn to keep up with her latest projects.
Feature image courtesy of Jada Rashawn
This Is How To Keep 'Holiday Season Stress' From Infecting Your Relationship
Hmph. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like there is something really weird happening in the fall season air (because winter doesn’t officially begin until December 21) that cuddle season is in full swing while break-up season is as well. In fact, did you know that break-ups are so popular during the holiday season that December 11 is deemed Break-Up Day?
The reasons why relationships shift around this time vary; however, I did both roll my eyes and chuckle when I read that a very popular one is because it’s an easy way to get out of getting one’s significant other a Christmas present. SMDH.
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Shutterstock
Sergio Hudson On Designing With Intention And Who Gets Left Out Of The Industry
Sergio Hudson dreamt big as a young South Carolina boy staring out of the window of his mom’s Volvo driving down the Ridgeway, South Carolina streets. Those dreams led him to design opulent tailoring that’s been worn by Beyoncé, Queen Latifah, former Vice President Kamala Harris and Forever First Lady Michelle Obama, just to name a few.
Those dreams have come full circle in a new way as he recently collaborated with Volvo for a mini capsule collection suitable for chic and stylish moments this fall. The 40-year-old designer follows a long legacy of fashion aficionados who’ve used their innovation to push the automotive industry forward, including Virgil Abloh, Eddie Bauer, Paul Smith and Jeremy Scott.
Using the same material from the interior of the Volvo EX90, Hudson crafted a wool-blend car coat and waistbelt that combine the vehicle’s Scandinavian design with his signature tailoring and intention. The exclusive collection launched on October 20, and each piece is made-to-order by Sergio Hudson Collections.

Courtesy
In October, I traveled to Charleston with a group of journalists to get a firsthand look at Hudson and Volvo’s location. During a fitting, Hudson said his goal is to make “great work that can stand the test of time.”
“People can look back on and say, ‘I remember when Sergio did that collaboration with Volvo,’” he continued. “Thinking about aligning yourself with classic brands that speak to where you want to go. And I think that's what this collaboration kind of means to me and my business.”
Hudson pinpoints his mom as the biggest influence for his designs. This collaboration was no different.
“This particular coat reminded me of the swing coats that my mom used to wear in the early 90s. You know, diva girls in the early 90s had Sandra suits,” he said, referring to Jackée Harry’s character in 227. “My mom wore those and she would have these matching swing coats to go over them. And that's where the initial idea came. This would be around the same time that we had our Volvo. So she would put on her suit, her swing coat, get in that red Volvo, and go to church.”

Courtesy
With this capsule and beyond, Hudson wants to see more staples rotating in and out of closets this fall. He advises fashionistas to build her closet out with essentials to mix and match that aren’t just stylish but also sustainable.
“It's just those special pieces,” he said. “You can wear the same shirt and pants every day and nobody will notice. But if you have a special boot, a special coat, a special bill, a special bag, that kind of speaks to everything that your style stands about, that is something you should focus on.”
These are the same kind of staple pieces that return to our Pinterest boards and TikTok feeds season after season. Fast fashion has never been Hudson’s aim. “I'm trying to create a special pieces that can stand the test of time,” he said in his warm, Southern accent. “I'm only creating those kind of pieces from here on out.”

Courtesy
For Hudson, this collaboration is revolutionary. It’s his first time working with a car company and experimenting outside of his wheelhouse in this way.
“This is a Scandinavian brand, and, you know, it's 70 years old. I'm an African-American boy from South Carolina that has had a brand for 10 years. So I think bridging those two worlds and seeing the similarities was the beauty of this project,” he explained.
Though Hudson and his partner and CEO of Sergio Hudson Collections Inga Beckham have made massive strides in just 10 years, Hudson said the industry is far from where he wants to see it when it comes to Black representation. He pointed to how few Black designers were at this year’s Met Gala despite the theme being Black dandyism.
“The fact that I dressed 18 people speaks to how many of us weren't there,” he said. He implored more of industries, fashion and beyond, to collaborate with Black designers often.
“Allow mentorship. Allow funding. Allow great design to shine through,” he implored. “When it comes to being a designer of African descent, when you can't get the funding that your counterparts have, you can't compete. When you get opportunities like doing a collaboration with Volvo, or you get opportunities to be at the Met Gala, that's putting us on the equal playing field, but really the funding behind it is what we need to take it to that desk level.”
Featured image courtesy










