On Being An Empath & How To Stop Absorbing Other People's Emotions
Being emotionally seen in a relationship is a love language. If you are in a friendship or a relationship with an empath, you can guarantee there will be space for your emotions to be present and understood.
What Does It Mean To Be An Empath?
What is an empath anyway? An empath is described as “someone who is highly attuned to the feelings and emotions of those around them.” No scientific evidence supports or proves that people can tap into another person’s emotions. Still, we can acknowledge that there are people who feel more deeply than others, which is why boundaries are essential for people who are empaths.
It’s a beautiful thing to understand what someone else is feeling deeply. It creates an emotionally safe space that permits people to express themselves freely and vulnerably, but when you’re an empath, it’s important to discern what is yours to carry, and what belongs to others, or else you will find yourself overwhelmed and drained by your relationships.
Being An Empath: How To Avoid Absorbing Other People's Emotions
Sometimes when we hold other people’s emotions, we become weighed down by their problems and treat their issues as if they are our own, and if you don’t put a stop to this, you will find yourself experiencing issues like stress and burnout. Having boundaries is essential, so you know where to draw a line in the sand as you discern what belongs to you and what is for others.
Here are some boundaries that empaths need to maintain their peace and well-being.
How to Avoid Absorbing: Boundaries for Empaths
1. Practice discernment:
It’s normal and healthy to want to support others, but you have to be wise and use wisdom to know what you can give and tolerate. If someone you know is going through a hard time, you have to be intentional about the type of support you can offer. Do you have the resources to help this person? Do you have the capacity to lend a listening ear? Will you suffer if you continue to expose yourself to other people’s problems?
Remember that we all have limits, and it’s okay if you need to adjust the ways you show up for people if showing up is going to result in you engaging in self-neglect.
2. Practice asking for help:
Because empaths feel so deeply, they are also caring and have a habit of wanting to help others but disengage when they are the ones who need help. Remember this–you also deserve the care and support you give others. In the same way that you care wholeheartedly about the people around you, know that these people desire to support you and want the best for you. Ask for help and allow others to show up for you.
3. Assess if you are helping or harming:
Since empaths are highly attuned to the emotions of others, they can be overly empathic to a point where it may be detrimental. Studies have shown that highly empathic people are more prone to experiencing manipulation in their relationships because they choose only to see the good in a person and ignore red flags. Their high levels of empathy and understanding override logic and rationality. Once this happens, empaths are doing more harm than good, and often that harm is self-harm. It is not wise to always lead with feelings. We need sound judgment and critical thinking in certain situations to get beneficial results.
Having boundaries is essential for thriving in life. When you are an empath and feel deeply, there is nothing wrong with caring for others and being in tune with their emotions, but you also have to make sure you are in tune with your own needs, and you are not neglecting yourself in the process of trying to care for someone else.
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'Sistas' Star Skyh Black On The Power Of Hypnotherapy & Emotional Vulnerability For Men
In this insightful episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Sistas star Skyh Black, as he opened up about his journey of emotional growth, resilience, and self-discovery. The episode touches on emotional availability, self-worth, masculinity, and the importance of therapy in overcoming personal struggles.
Skyh Black on Emotional Availability & Love
On Emotional Availability & Vulnerability
“My wife and I wouldn't be where we are today if both of us weren't emotionally available,” he shared about his wife and Sistas co-star KJ Smith, highlighting the value of vulnerability and emotional openness in a relationship. His approach to masculinity stands in contrast to the traditional, stoic ideals. Skyh is not afraid to embrace softness as part of his emotional expression.
On Overcoming Self-Doubt & Worthiness Issues
Skyh reflected on the self-doubt and worthiness issues that he struggled with, especially early in his career. He opens up about his time in Los Angeles, living what he calls the “LA struggle story”—in a one-bedroom with three roommates—and being homeless three times over the span of 16 years. “I always had this self-sabotaging thought process,” Skyh said. “For me, I feel therapy is essential, period. I have a regular therapist and I go to a hypnotherapist.”
How Therapy Helped Him Heal From Self-Doubt
On Hypnotherapy & Empowering Self-Acceptance
Skyh’s journey is a testament to the power of tapping into self-development despite life’s struggles and being open to growth. “I had to submit to the fact that God was doing good in my life, and that I'm worthy of it. I had a worthiness issue and I did not realize that. So, that’s what the hypnotherapy did. It brought me back to the core. What is wrong so that I can fix it?”
Watch the full podcast episode below:
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Quinta Brunson Gets Real About Divorce, Boundaries & Becoming
Quinta Brunson is the woman who chooses herself, even when the world is watching. And in her June 30 cover story for Bustle, she gives us a rare glimpse into the soft, centered place she's navigating her life from now. From leading one of television's most beloved series in the last decade to quietly moving through life shifts, the creator of Abbott Elementary is walking through a personal evolution and doing so with intention, grace, and a firm grip on her boundaries.
Back in March, the 35-year-old filed for divorce from Kevin Jay Anik after nearly three years of marriage, citing "irreconcilable differences." The news hit the headlines of news outlets fast, but Quinta hadn't planned to announce their dissolution to the public so quickly.
Quinta Brunson On Divorce, Public Scrutiny & Sacred Boundaries
"I remember seeing people be like, ‘She announced her divorce,’" she told Bustle. “I didn’t announce anything. I think people have this idea that people in the public eye want the public to know their every move. None of us do. I promise you. No one wants [everyone] to know when you buy a house, when you move, when a major change happens in your personal life. It’s just that that’s public record information."
In regards to her private moves becoming tabloid fodder, Quinta continued, "I hated that. I hate all of it."
"I Am An Artist First": Quinta On Cutting Her Hair & Reclaiming Herself
Still, the diminutive phenom holds her crown high in the face of change and is returning to the essence of who she is, especially as an artist. "Cutting my hair reminded me that I am an artist first. I want to feel things. I want to make choices. I want to be a person, and not just stuck in having to be a certain way for business." It's giving sacred rebirth. It's giving self-liberation. It's especially giving main character energy.
And while the headlines keep spinning their narratives, the one that Quinta is focused on is her own. For her, slowing down and nourishing herself in ways that feed her is what matters. "It’s a transitional time. I think it’s true for me and my personal life, and it’s how I feel about myself, my career, and the world," Quinta shared with Bustle. “I feel very serious about focusing on watering my own gardens, taking care of myself and the people around me who I actually interact with day-to-day."
That includes indulging in simple rituals that ground her like "making myself a meal" which has become "really, really important to me."
That spirit of agency doesn't stop at the personal. In her professional world, as the creator, executive producer, and lead actress of the critically-acclaimed Abbott Elementary, Quinta understands the weight her choices carry, both on- and off-screen. She revealed to Bustle, "People used to tell me at the beginning of this that the No. 1 on the call sheet sets the tone, and the producer sets the tone — and I’m both of those roles."
She continued, "I understand now, after doing this for four years, how important it was that I set the tone that I did when we first started."
Quinta doesn't just lead, she understands the importance of curating the energy of any space she enters. Even amid a season of shifts and shedding, her power speaks loudly. Sometimes that power looks like quiet resistance. Sometimes that power is soft leadership.
And sometimes that power looks like cutting your hair and taking back your name in rooms that have forgotten you were an artist long before you were a brand.
Read Quinta's cover story on Bustle here to witness the fullness of Quinta's becoming.
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