One of the accomplishments I am most proud of in my life as an adult woman is cultivating new friendships that are fruitful and that elevate me. I pride myself on trying to be a good friend at all times. My mother could never understand why I was always so dedicated to my friendships, of course, she had six other brothers and sisters with built-in friendships. I, on the other hand, was raised as an only child for most of my life and had to build my own tribe. Friendships have always been important to me, they have shaped me at many different stages in my life and I don't know where I would be without those relationships.
It has been my firm belief that "to have a friend, you have to be a friend," and that has been my North star in how I operate and how I make decisions. Friendships can teach you a lot in the way of navigating relationships with others but I think the best part about friendships is that you get to practice grace. Too often, we forget to add grace in our lives and hold people to impossible standards which ends up leading to unnecessary disappointment. However, friendship gives you the opportunity to exercise having grace as well as extending it. It is in this space that we truly get to love someone, flaws, and all, without the pressure of expectations, and anxiety.
Every friendship has its place in your life and has a lesson to teach you.
Some friendships are temporary, some are seasonal, and some are evergreen. Over time, you get to see who falls into what category and who just simply falls away. At some point in every woman's life, I feel it is necessary to take inventory of who is around you. We tend to hold on to relationships from childhood thinking they will last forever, only to find out people grow and change and so should that friendship. The things we need as a child in a friend may not serve us in our adult lives with the trajectory we are on. Hence the need to make new friends in different stages of our lives.
Making New Friends In Your 30s
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When I turned 30, there were a lot of major transitions in my life that were beginning to happen, I was coming out of a long-term relationship, turning 30, and trying to rediscover who I was post-relationship. I was faced with the very difficult task of re-evaluating every relationship around me which resulted in me ending several 15-year friendships. Including my best friend of over 20+ years. To be clear, we are still friends but I had to set some boundaries around how that relationship was to be reimagined and how I was going to conduct myself inside of it, as well as redefine what "best friend" means to me now.
Taking the time to do this gave me the courage to understand what I needed in a friend which was counterintuitive to how I was engaging in friendships. I thought that as long as I was the very best I could be as a friend, that would be reciprocated back to me.
But that was not always the case.
I have often heard that the older we get, the harder it is to make friends. I don't necessarily agree with that, but I can see why some would feel this way. The reality is the older we get, the more the landscape of forming bonds changes, and that is simply because we mature. We may have new careers, marriages, kids, etc. that are now providing context to the lives we live and this informs us how we choose people to be our friends. In order to do succeed in doing that, really hone down on the things you need in a friend and that will help guide you in finding the tribe that is right for you.
Here are a few tips on making friendships as an adult:
1. Lead with authenticity when making new friends.
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OK, so the category here is VULNERABILITY. This works two-fold, you need to be vulnerable with yourself to admit what you truly need in a friendship. In addition to that, you also need to be open with your potential new friend. The first part of this is understanding what type of friend you are, meaning answering questions like this: are you someone that needs to talk to your friend every day? Do you like to spend quality time together or are you OK just catching up every few weeks? Get to know yourself first so that you can align with other like-minded people.
Next, when you first meet someone, be yourself. Don't try to fit into a mold of what you think that person may like in a friend. You will spend most of your time being someone you are not instead of being the amazing person you are. You have a lot to offer and that should shine front and center. I think a great way to understand how you and a potential friend function in any kind of relationship are to take the 5 Love Languages Quiz. Friendships are built on communicating on a deeper, more intimate level even though they are not always romantic. However, how we give and receive love for ourselves is the same when engaging others.
2. Create boundaries as you build trust in budding friendships.
I often hear people express fear around making new friends because of a plethora of reasons. But mostly it has a lot to do with whether or not you will be accepted fully after showing someone your authentic self. To this I say, be authentic and open but remember everyone has to earn the right to your story. Lead with your most authentic self, but you don't have to share everything upfront in the first five minutes.
I am not suggesting to hide things and be dishonest but I am saying reveal things over time. As you build trust, you should be able to let people in closer to you. Be clear on what information you don't mind sharing without fear of judgment. But there is a thin line to walk while you are building trust with a person. This is where boundaries come into play, you need to know how much you are comfortable sharing at different milestones of building a friendship.
Boundaries make it clear for you to regulate the direction in how your friendship is growing as well as how it will develop in the future.
3. Keep an open mind about the kind of friends you meet.
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As we get older, we have the luxury of gaining knowledge from past learned lessons. This can only serve to be to our advantage in that it helps us step out of old patterns and discover something new. We have the ability to learn about new people with an open mind and really create friend circles with people who are different than us. I highly recommend creating friendships with people who seem different than you and challenge yourself to find things in common.
You will learn so much about yourself and things you never knew you could have access to, just by opening your mind. That is the beauty in all of this. Meeting someone new and finding your common interests amongst what seems to be different is an understated suggestion when it comes to tips on making new friends.
4. Learn to actively listen and communicate in your friendships.
Communication is a big theme in why so many relationships struggle. Commit yourself to relearning the art of conversation as well as the art of active listening. Quite often we misunderstand, misinterpret, or even miscommunicate because we forget the basic fundamentals of communication. Going into a situation where you are looking to meet new people, you need to have your communication skills on point.
It serves me greatly to listen and speak with engaged interest in the person I want to be friends with in the future. I am asking questions about the person, relating similar stories to what they said, and keeping the conversation going. I am showing interest and that I am open to being friends in my conversation. All of this can be accomplished simply by having great communication.
Truly, adult friendships are one of the things I enjoy the most in my life. The friendships that have been created were the ones that should have been in my life at this time. They align perfectly in this next stage in my life and I am truly grateful. Adult friendships between women and even men are totally possible and can be incredibly impactful. Going into this next year, challenge yourself to not only make new friends but become a great friend to the people in your life as well.
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There’s just something about HBCU Homecoming that just hits different. Whether it’s your first time stepping onto the yard since graduation or you’re a regular at every Homecoming tailgate, HBCU pride is undeniable. It’s a vibrant celebration that unites the legacy of excellence and tradition with the energy and resilience of Black culture.
The experience goes beyond a typical college reunion; HBCU Homecoming is a family reunion, a fashion show, a cultural festival, and a week-long turn-up that embodies what it means to be unapologetically Black and educated. For HBCU alumni, the journey back to the yard each year is rooted in a love and pride that’s hard to put into words but impossible to deny.
From statement pieces to tech must-haves, every item represents the intersection of Black pride and HBCU love, ensuring that you show up to the yard in style and with intention. So whether you’re repping your alma mater for the first time since graduation or looking for fresh pieces to express your HBCU pride, these essentials will have you standing out, because, at HBCU Homecoming, it’s not just about showing up—it’s about showing out.
Thread Goals
diarrablu Jant Pants in Alia Noir
High-waisted, wide-legged, and ready to shut down the yard, the Jant Pants by diarrablu bring a whole new meaning to campus chic. Handcrafted in Dakar, Senegal, these free-flowing jacquard pants are perfect for stepping onto the yard with style and ease—making them a must-have for any HBCU alum’s closet.
Silver & Riley Convertible Executive Leather Bag Classic Size in Olive
This all-in-one luxury bag isn’t a bestseller for nothing. The Silver & Riley essential is made of Italian calfskin leather and thoughtfully designed, as it can be worn in four different ways: a shoulder bag, crossbody, a top handle, and a backpack. Chic and elegant, the Convertible Executive Leather bag is “the bag that every woman needs in her collection.”
Renowned Women's Intuition Cotton Graphic T-Shirt
Renowned
Renowned’s Women’s Intuition Cotton Graphic T-shirt features a bold graphic print inspired by the power and essence of women’s intuition. With its striking design, this all-cotton tee is a vibrant thing, making it a statement piece that celebrates feminine energy.
Mifland Million M Mesh Crop Shirt
Talk about bold, the Million M Mesh Crop Shirt combines edgy style with comfort, featuring Mifland’s signature print on a semi-see-through mesh fabric. Show up and show out in sophisticated flair.
HBCU Love FUBU
Melanin Is Life Melanated & Educated - I Love My HBCU Hoodie
Show off your HBCU love with this piece that represents everything you gained from your alma mater: a top-tier education, a community that lifts you up, and a deep sense of esteem for yourself and your culture. Wear it loud and proud, because being melanated and educated isn’t just a flex—it’s a legacy.
HBCU Culture Spelmanite Sweatshirt in Navy
Spelmanites, rep your Spelman pride with this unisex crewneck sweatshirt, designed for ultimate comfort and a relaxed fit. Made from a cozy cotton/polyester blend, this classic sweatshirt is as durable as it is stylish—making it an ideal piece for any Spelmanite showing love for their alma mater.
HBCU Culture Howard Is The Culture T-Shirt
Rock the ultimate flex by showcasing your Howard U love with HBCU Culture’s Howard Is The Culture t-shirt. This unisex tee offers a comfortable, relaxed fit that’s perfect for celebrating your HBCU spirit without sacrificing style or comfort.
DungeonForward FAMU - Strike Bucket - Reversible
DungeonForward’s Strike Bucket Hat brings versatility and style to the FAMU Crown collection with its reversible design, giving you two looks in one. Featuring a sleek black snakeskin-embossed brim lining and a bold outline Rattler emblem, this hat is all about repping your Rattler pride in style.
DungeonForward Savannah State University - HBCU Hat - TheYard
The Savannah State University HBCU Hat by DungeonForward is more than just a hat—it’s a symbol of Tiger pride and a nod to the culture. Perfect for gamedays, tailgates, or just showing off your HBCU love, this hat lets you carry a piece of the yard wherever you go.
Tech the Halls
Anker iPhone 16 Portable Charger, Nano Power Bank
Stay charged up with the Anker Nano Power Bank, which features dual USB-C ports, a foldable connector, and a compact design, making it perfect for those HBCU tailgates and late-night parties you pull up to.
Drip Check
Wisdom Frame 14 Square Sunglasses
Elevate your look with these angular square-frame sunglasses by Wisdom, bringing an ultramodern edge to any outfit. The sleek design makes them perfect for blocking out the haters while you stunt on the yard.
Coco and Breezy Eyewear Fortune in Gray Turquoise
The Fortune Glasses in Grey Turquoise is a bold statement piece to any Homecoming weekend ‘fit that “embody our fearless and outspoken DNA.” With their color and edgy design, these frames by Coco and Breezy are perfect for anyone looking to stand out and express their unapologetic confidence.
Howard U Lapel Pin
Rep your Bison pride wherever you go with this Howard U Lapel Pin from Pretty AmbVision. Whether adding it to your jacket, shirt, or bag, this pin is the perfect way to showcase your love for your alma mater while rocking your HBCU love with honor and distinction.
Mifland Standard Rucksack Mini
The Standard Rucksack is designed to evolve like that HBCU pride—getting richer, bolder, and better with time. Durable, stylish, and built to last, this Rucksack by Mifland is a timeless piece equipped with versatile carrying options and fully adjustable back straps for ultimate comfort.
Stay Fresh, Stay Blessed
Slip Pure Silk Sleep Mask in Pink
Keeping it cute starts with beauty sleep. This luxurious silk mask is an essential for a reason. If protecting your skin and waking up refreshed is your priority, look no further than this Homecoming essential.
Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier Lemon Lime - Hydration Powder Packets
Stay hydrated and energized throughout Homecoming weekend with this Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier in Lemon Lime. Just add a packet to your water bottle, and bless your body with 2-3 times more hydration than water with every packet. Because staying hydrated is the key to popping up and showing out all weekend long!
Loop Experience Plus Earplugs High Fidelity Hearing Protection
Designed for your hearing protection, these sleek earplugs reduce noise without compromising sound quality—perfect for enjoying the band’s halftime show, late-night parties, and DJ sets. Whether you’re front row at the step show or hitting the yard, your ears deserve to be protected in style!
Black Girl Magic Glass Cup
Sip in style and celebrate your melanin with the Black Girl Magic Glass Cup. Perfect for morning coffee, your favorite iced drink, or showing off your HBCU pride on the yard—this cup is all about keeping it cute while radiating your endless supply of Black Girl Magic.
Glow Up & Show Out
Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30
What Homecoming weekend can be complete without an assist from this beauty find? Formulated to blend seamlessly into melanin-rich skin (no white-cast), protect your glow while you turn up with the Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30.
Sienna Naturals Issa Rae's Wash Day Ritual Set
Issa Rae’s Wash Day Ritual Set from Sienna Naturals includes the H.A.PI. Shampoo, the Plant Power Repair Mask, Dew Magic, and Lock and Seal to get your crown right. Whether you’re repping your coils or rocking a new color on the yard, these products restore and nourish your strands, keeping your hair healthy, strong, and Homecoming-ready!
54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter
Stay glowing from the tailgate to the after-party with the 54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter. Infused with African-sourced ingredients, this rich, multi-purpose butter is the answer to keeping your skin soft and radiant through all the festivities all Homecoming long.
Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil
Keep your lips looking luscious and nourished with the Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil. Perfect for adding an extra pop to your pout before hitting the yard or freshening up between events, this lip oil is a beauty essential for staying camera-ready all weekend.
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image by Visual Vic/Getty Images
10 Different Ways Herbal Teas Can Fit Into Your Beauty Regimen
Is there ever a season when herbal tea isn’t an excellent option? In my opinion, not really. During the spring and summertime, you can make iced herbal tea, and when it’s fall and winter, there is nothing like a warm cup of tea with a teaspoon of honey (and perhaps a bit of almond or oat milk) in it. And you know what? The truly wonderful thing about all of this is that every time you consume herbal tea because it has lots of herbs in it, it’s something that you can feel good about — from the inside out.
There really is no telling how many tea articles I’ve written for the platform over the years (you can check out a few here, here, and here), yet I’m not sure if I’ve ever mentioned ways that consuming herbal tea can improve your beauty goals. So today, I’m gonna do just that. Below, I’ve got 10 teas that can bring about the best in your natural looks, along with some ways that you can use tea that you may not have ever considered before.
1. Jasmine Tea for Acne
If you want a tea that helps to keep your heart in good shape (which is important for Black women since we have the highest risk for things like hypertension, strokes, heart failure, and coronary heart disease), will help to boost your brain and can lower your risks for certain cancers as well as type 2 diabetes, you definitely should sip on some jasmine tea.
As far as your skin goes, between the antioxidants in it that help to fight off free radicals in your system along with the fact that it contains anti-inflammatory properties, this is why jasmine tea can also be a great dietary addition if you’re looking for an all-natural way to keep breakouts at bay.
Beauty Tea Hack: Make a toner for your skin by steeping two tea bags in a half gallon of water for 15-20 minutes. Add a teaspoon of honey (honey contains anti-inflammatory and antioxidants that can speed up the healing process of pimples) and then let it cool. Add 5-7 drops of tea tree oil and then apply it to your skin after washing it 2-3 times a week.
2. Licorice Root Tea for Hyperpigmentation
During the cold and flu season, pretty much everyone should have some licorice root tea in one of their kitchen cupboards. That’s because it’s been proven to soothe a sore throat, it can bring relief to upper respiratory issues (including asthma-related ones) and it can help to speed up the healing process of bacterial and viral infections.
What can licorice root tea do for you on the beauty tip? Aside from being an all-natural approach to eczema, some studies say that this tea also contains phytochemical properties that can reduce hyperpigmentation. As a bonus, it’s good for preventing tooth decay, which means it can help your smile remain brilliant.
Beauty Tea Hack:Place tea bags over your eyes to reduce eye puffiness and eye circle discoloration over time.
3. White Tea to Slow Down Aging
White tea, green tea, and black tea are all related; what makes them different is how they are processed. That said, white tea is a great tea addition because it is rich in antioxidants, can help to fight off heart disease, is able to reduce free radicals and chronic inflammation, and can also help to prevent cavity-causing bacteria in your mouth, and white tea can even help you to shed a few pounds.
Something else that’s dope about white tea is it has compounds that can slow down the aging signs in your skin. That’s because white tea has chemical compounds known as polyphenols that help to keep the fibers of your skin from being damaged (especially prematurely).
Beauty Tea Hack: Steep 2-3 tea bags, then place your face over the steam so that your skin can absorb the moisture as well as the properties that are within the tea.
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4. Rooibos Tea for Hair Follicle Strength
If you like your tea to have a robust taste to it, rooibos is what you’re looking for. A tea that hails from South Africa, rooibos is bomb because it’s caffeine-free, contains the type of antioxidants that reduce free radicals and heart disease, can help to keep your blood sugar where it needs to be, and can also help with digestion-related issues.
Something else that I should mention about this particular tea is if you happen to be anemic (or borderline anemic), this tea is also a good option for you because it’s low in tannins. Since tannins can sometimes affect how your body absorbs iron, if low iron is a personal health concern, you want to select a type of tea where that won’t be an issue for you.
This tea is a nice beauty addition because it also contains ingredients that can help to soften the appearance of wrinkles; plus it has been proven to keep your hair follicles in good condition so that you can maintain more length retention.
Beauty Tea Hack:3-Ingredient Hair Tea Recipe
5. Black Tea for Hair Color Depth
Speaking of hair health, if that is what you’re after, you also need to add black tea to your collection. Let’s address some other health benefits that it brings first, though. What makes black tea different from, say, green or white tea is it goes through a pretty intense oxidation process. The end result is the kind of tea that is very dark in color and, again, is rich in antioxidants. It’s also the type of tea that is good for your heart, can help to reduce your risk of having a stroke, can increase longevity, and contains the kind of amino acids that make it easier to concentrate and be more productive throughout the day.
And just why will your hair appreciate black tea so much? Well, studies reveal that the caffeine in the tea can help to block the hormones that are directly associated with hair shedding and loss. Not only that, but if you’re looking to darken your hair color (in a subtle kind of way), black tea is an awesome all-natural hair rinse. I’ve tried it before. I’ll vouch for it in this lane.
Beauty Tea Hack:Hair Tea Rinse Recipe
6. Green Tea for Weak Tooth Enamel
Green tea just might be the most popular tea of all of these. That’s because it contains properties that do everything from helping you lose weight and boost brain power to lowering the risk of lung, breast, and ovarian cancer and increasing your days on this planet. Something else that I really like about green tea is that although it does have caffeine in it, if you happen to feel anxious, research shows that it can actually help to decrease it.
And since a radiant smile completes the look of any woman, if you want to keep your teeth’s enamel strong (which does indeed become an issue as you get older), green tea can help you out. It does this by reducing oral inflammation, strengthening your teeth, helping to prevent gum disease, and even playing a role in remineralizing teeth.
Beauty Tea Hack: DIY Matcha Mouthwash Recipe
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7. Hibiscus Tea for Nail Health
Hibiscus tea literally comes from parts of the hibiscus flower. It’s good for your system because it’s packed with antioxidants, beta-carotene, and properties that help to reduce inflammation as they fight off free radicals, too. If you’ve got some type of bacterial infection, this tea will help to heal it. Hibiscus tea is also great when it comes to helping to lower your cholesterol and blood pressure levels.
Since hibiscus tea is also full of vitamin C, it’s the kind of tea that can help keep your nails nice and strong. The connector here isvitamin C, which is a nutrient that helps to produce collagen within your system, and collagen is a protein that keeps your nails from breaking.
Beauty Tea Hack: Learn how to use a tea bag to “fix” a split nail (I’m not kidding) here.
8. Dandelion Root Tea to Detoxify
If you’ve always wondered if dandelion root tea is as literal as it sounds, the answer is yes. It is made from the dandelion weeds that grow in your yard — and yes, they can be very good for you. Dandelion tea is a good source of vitamins A, C, K, folate, calcium, and potassium. It also has antioxidants that reduce oxidative stress. If you’re looking to lower your blood pressure or blood sugar, dandelion root tea can support you there. It’s also the kind of tea that helps to strengthen your immune system, keep your bones strong, relieve constipation, and support any weight loss goals that you may have.
Beauty-wise, dandelion root tea can reduce some of the fat that is stored around your liver, which makes it a solid detoxifying tea. And when your system is “clean,” that causes your skin to experience fewer breakouts, UV damage, and premature aging — for the record, dandelion root tea is known for assisting with these three things too.
Beauty Tea Hack: 49 Tea Detox Recipes
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9. Chamomile Tea for Stress
Got digestive issues? Drink some chamomile tea. Feeling nauseated? Drink some chamomile tea. Dealing with PMS symptoms that are absolutely driving you up the wall? Drink some chamomile tea. Got some common cold symptoms that won’t seem to go away? Drink some chamomile tea. Yeah, chamomile tea is the kind of herbal tea that is “all things” on so many levels.
Since it’s also a tea that can keep your skin from becoming dehydrated, promotes sound sleep, andit can keep your stress levels at bay — yes, chamomile is another “beauty tea.”The breakdown here is stress increases inflammation, decreases oxygen levels in your body, and can damage your cells and tissues. So, the less stressed out you are, the more youthful you will appear. So yes, sis, drink up!
Beauty Tea Hack: Honey Chamomile Tea Latte Recipe
10. Passionflower for Sleep
It really is kinda wild that if you want to experience uninterrupted sleep, you should stop drinking about two hours before bedtime. At the same time, enjoying a warm cup of herbal tea can give you some of the best rest ever thanks to the amino acid known as L-Theanine that’s in it; that’s because it has the ability to tell your brain to relax and de-stress. And if that tea happens to be passionflower, even better because it also reduces pain and bodily discomfort while also elevating your melatonin levels.
And since 6-8 hours of consistent sleep helps to do things like rebuild body cells, regulate your hormones, help to prevent (premature) fine lines and wrinkles, reduce dark circles underneath your eyes, and even give your complexion a natural glow — if you want to look your best, rest. And if you need help resting, it’s passionflower to the rescue. Tonight.
Beauty Tea Hack:DIY Sleep Time Herbal Tea Recipe
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Hmph. As if you actually needed another reason to drink some herbal tea, right? And yet — here they are. So, the next time you pull out an herbal tea bag, think about how it’s not just comforting your soul, but it’s making you more beautiful too.
As you can see, yes, very much so on the literal tip.
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Featured image by Willie B. Thomas/Getty Images