The Do's & Don'ts Of Having Sex On The Beach
I’ve never actually tasted a 'Sex on the Beach,' but I certainly have imagined doing it. In fact, I’ve had a lot of sex fantasies, but this remains to be one at the top of my list. However, I continue to harbor some fear because it seems that beach sex is no easy feat.
Perhaps I’ve just seen one movie too many where it went awry and felt vicariously traumatized by the outcome. But now, I’ve decided it’s high time to step outside of my comfort zone. I especially feel the urgency to deliver a few tips about beach sex after a friend of mine had sex on a beach in Mexico and got caught. In that instance, it was amazing how fast my thoughts transitioned from Sex Brought Me to the ER to Locked Up Abroad --- and I don’t want that for any of us. When having sex in public spaces, you must consider that public nudity is prohibited in some public spaces no matter how exhilarating the thought of it is.
Regardless of why you’re seeking out a beach sex adventure, I’m here to help you execute it in a way that ensures you have a fun time. Here’s to hoping these six tips will make your sex on the beach as tasty as it sounds.
1. Hide in plain sight.
Please don’t get bust down in the middle of the day in the middle of the beach – unless you’ve found yourself a swinger’s beach. I’m Team Fuck Those Kids just as much as anybody and I can even be Team Fuck The Police, but our goal here is to make sexy memories – not *claps* getting *claps* locked *claps* up *claps* abroad. Hiding in plain sight is probably the best way to make your fantasy come to life. Try having sex in the water, in a cabana, or wait until the sun has set. By then, it’ll be difficult for people to make out your figures and the oceanic movements.
2. Bring protection.
You might think I’m talking about condoms, and while that’s vital I’m actually talking about protection from the good outdoors. You want to be equipped with bug spray and maybe even a blanket. If you’ve seen the way sand spreads, and gets in nooks and crannies you never even knew existed – you know why I’m suggesting a blanket. It won’t completely eliminate the sand but it will help some. This might also add some extra coverage from sand fleas and such.
3. Think bigger than the basics.
You have to be ready for anything. With that in mind, you might want to consider sex outside of penetrative sex. Not only might it be easier to execute without getting caught but it could be easier for your partner if they’re feeling a little anxious about public sex. It can be difficult for us to get aroused when we’re anxious. This can make a penetrative experience go sour if, let’s say, a penis-presenting person is unable to stay erect due to nervousness. In this instance, non-penetrative sex speaks to oral and digital sex or even heavy-heavy petting. Dunno about you but I love a good teenage love affair, makeout sitch.
4. Slide and ride.
Instead of being butt-naked for your beach romp, you might consider sliding your swimwear to the side when trying to access the nookie. You do want to maintain a certain level of stealth on the beach.
5. Respect the local customs.
If you’re out of the country, you may want to exercise greater caution if this is a spontaneous thing. The cultural differences outside the country could get you in big trouble, and most people fail to look into those differences and laws before traveling. If you’re a Sex and the City fan then you remember the turmoil Samantha caused in Abu Dhabi – and none of us want that.
6. 'What's your fantasy?'
If your fantasy is strictly about sex on the beach and not an exhibitionist fantasy, then consider getting an Airbnb near a private beach. Crowds are more limited there and there will be significantly fewer people than if you were to be on a public beach. And quite frankly, I think it would be far more intimate.
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Motor City native, Atlanta living. Sagittarius. Writer. Sexpert. Into all things magical, mystical, and unknown. I'll try anything at least once but you knew that the moment I revealed that I was a Sag.
This Black Woman-Owned Creative Agency Shows Us The Art Of Rebranding
Rebranding is an intricate process and very important to the success of businesses that want to change. However, before a business owner makes this decision, they should determine whether it's a rebrand or an evolution.
That's where people like Lola Adewuya come in. Lola is the founder and CEO of The Brand Doula, a brand development studio with a multidisciplinary approach to branding, social media, marketing, and design.
While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
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The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
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Beyoncé Doubles Down On Not Releasing Visuals For 'Renaissance' Or 'Cowboy Carter': 'The Music Is Enough'
While many people are still unpacking the CMAs shutting out Beyoncé'sCowboy Carteralbum, her cover story for GQ's October issue is now taking center stage. Beyoncé is shown rocking the big hair we've come to love in her country era, giving us queen realness as always.
In the interview, the multifaceted singer spoke about the two albums in the trilogy, Renaissance and Cowboy Carter, as well as her family. She also opened up about her exciting business ventures, such as her haircare brand Cécred and the launch of her whiskey, SirDavis, and why it's crucial for her to be more than just the face of her brands.
"There’s a huge contrast between the business journeys of men and women. Men often have the luxury of being perceived as the strategists, the brains behind their ventures. They’re given the space to focus on the product, the team, the business plan. Women, on the other hand, especially those in the limelight, are frequently pigeonholed into being the face of the brand or the marketing tool. It’s important to me to continue to take the same approach I have taken with my music and apply my learnings to my businesses," she said.
"I am here to change that old narrative. I’m here to focus on the quality. We took our time, and we did our research, and we have earned respect for our brand. I try to choose integrity over shortcuts. I’ve learned that true success isn’t about leaning on a name; it’s about crafting something genuine, something that can hold its own. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being revolutionary."
I know that's right Bey! Check out the highlights below:
On her daughter Blue Ivy being a creative.
I build my work schedule around my family. I try to only tour when my kids are out of school. I always dreamt of a life where I could see the world with my family and expose them to different languages, architecture, and lifestyles.
Raising three kids isn’t easy. The older they get, the more they become their own individuals with unique needs, hobbies, and social lives. My twins are God-sent. Parenting constantly teaches you about yourself. It takes a lot of prayer and patience. I love it. It’s grounding and fulfilling.
My kids come with me everywhere I go. They come to my office after school, and they are in the studio with me. They are in dance rehearsals. It’s natural that they would learn my choreography.
Blue is an artist. She has great taste in music and fashion. She is a fantastic editor, painter, and actress. She has been creating characters since she was three. She’s a natural, but I did not want Blue onstage. Blue wanted it for herself. She took it seriously and she earned it. And most importantly, she had fun! We all watched her grow more and more every night before our eyes.
On her decision to not provide visuals for "Renaissance" and "Cowboy Carter" albums.
I thought it was important that during a time where all we see is visuals, that the world can focus on the voice. The music is so rich in history and instrumentation. It takes months to digest, research, and understand. The music needed space to breathe on its own. Sometimes a visual can be a distraction from the quality of the voice and the music. The years of hard work and detail put into an album that takes over four years! The music is enough. The fans from all over the world became the visual. We all got the visual on tour. We then got more visuals from my film.
On being proud of the work she put into "Cowboy Carter."
I am proud of what I have been able to do, but I also recognize the sacrifices—mine and my family’s. There was a time when I was pushing myself to meet unrealistic deadlines, while not taking the time to enjoy the benefits of why I was working so hard. There aren’t many of us from the late ’90s who were taught to focus on mental health. Back then, I had little boundaries, and said yes to everything. But I’ve paid my dues a hundred times over. I have worked harder than anyone I know. And now I work smarter. In the end, the biggest reward is personal joy. Has what I created pushed others to think freely and believe in the impossible? If the answer to that question is yes, then that is the gift.
On legacy being her biggest motivator in business.
I get excited about love, legacy, and longevity. Do I love what I am trying to create for the love of it? I am discovering that legacy is the common denominator in all the businesses that I have done.
On protecting her family and her peace.
We live in a world of access. We have access to so much information—some facts, and some complete bullshit disguised as truth. Our children can FaceTime and see their friends at any given moment. My husband and I? We used calling cards and Skype when we were falling in love. I couldn’t afford the international hotel bills, so I literally would get international calling cards to call him. Just recently, I heard an AI song that sounded so much like me it scared me. It’s impossible to truly know what’s real and what’s not.
One thing I’ve worked extremely hard on is making sure my kids can have as much normalcy and privacy as possible, ensuring my personal life isn’t turned into a brand. It’s very easy for celebrities to turn our lives into performance art. I have made an extreme effort to stay true to my boundaries and protect myself and my family. No amount of money is worth my peace.
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