

Even if fall isn't your favorite season, I'd be shocked if you didn't agree that it's definitely one of the most romantic times of the year. The temperatures are mild. The scenery is beautiful. And, there are all sorts of autumn-themed activities that are ideal, whether you are considering beginning a new relationship or you've been with someone for several years now. Yeah, there's no doubt that if there's ever a wonderful time to do some old-fashioned dating, fall would be it.
That's why I'm all about encouraging couples to step out of the ho-hum box of checking out a dinner and a movie during this time; especially if it's two people who are about to go on their very first date. Whether a guy has recently asked you out or you're considering asking him (which is totally fine), here are some fall-themed ideas that are sure to make it a time together that neither of you will forget.
10 Fun Fall First Date Ideas
1. Attend a Fall Festival Together
Something that I used to really enjoy doing when I was in high school was attending fall festivals. They're fun, they're affordable and they tend to be pretty educational too. The reason why this is a great first date idea is because, if you're going on a date with someone you don't really know, its in public, the atmosphere is casual and, even if there isn't an immediate love connection, the two of you can still have a good time while you're together.
How do you figure out when and where the fall festivals in your area will be? It's simple. Just go to your favorite search engine and type "fall festivals near me" in the search field. A schedule of upcoming ones should immediately come up.
2. Stroll Through a Maze
Another cool fall-themed date idea is to go through a maze together. You can either stroll through one side-by-side or, you can make a competition out of it by deciding to take different routes to see who will get out of it first. The prize for the winner is they can pick what activity to do next. It's a way to take some of the stress of a first date off, you can figure out how both of you are under pressure and, while you're going through the maze, you can figure out if you're feelin' him without worrying about if he can read your facial expressions or body language (just sayin').
3. Do a Little Bit of Stargazing
OK, this is the kind of first date suggestion for two people who already know one another pretty well, but they are considering taking things up a notch in their relationship. There aren't too many things that are more romantic than pulling out some blankets, bringing along a thermos of hot cocoa, staring up at the stars and talking for hours on end. You can do this at a park (Google "stargazing near me") or even your backyard, if you'd prefer.
4. Watch Some Scary Movies Together
We all know what October 31 is; it's Halloween. I've got a friend who told me that something that he thinks is a hot date is binge-watching scary movies with someone. Between all of the cuddling up close so that you'll feel protected from anything lurking in your closet, I guess I can see the perks (LOL). As a bonus, it's also an opportunity to get educated about a genre where Black people don't always die first. If you don't believe me, check out "The Best Black Horror Movies Rated by Fans" and "The 40 Best Horror Movies Starring Black Actors and Actresses". Then make some sea salt caramel popcorn and mulled wine, dim the lights, and see who has the highest courage meter when it comes to guts and gore.
5. Take a Hot Air Balloon Ride
Heights are terrifying to me, so y'all will have to report back on how this date idea went for you. I still wanted to add it to the list because, whenever I see couples on television do it, I must admit that I quietly envy the experience.
To me, a hot air balloon date is just enough romance while still giving people the comfortable space to feel each other out. Plus, soaring over all of those leaves that are turning colors has got to be pretty close to breathtaking.
I do think it's important to give a financial heads-up. Hot air balloon rides ain't cheap. But if you hop onto a site like Groupon, you might be able to find a deal for somewhere around $125 per person.
6. Hold a Test Taste at a Local Coffee Shop
Another great casual date idea is to meet up at a local coffee shop. I like coffee shops a lot because most of them are fine with you purchasing a drink and just sitting there for hours. One way that you can get to know a little bit more about each other's tastes is to suggest each of you drink the other's 2-3 top favorite hot drinks on the menu. If the energy is going well, you can then ask each other about more favorites like "What's your favorite candy?" or your favorite artist or favorite canceled television show. You can actually get a list of 170 faves to inquire about here.
7. Light a Bonfire
If you like the chill that comes with fall weather at night, create a romantic mood by building a bonfire in your (or his) backyard. It's pretty easy to do (click here). The only other things that you'll need are the ingredients to make some homemade s'mores and you'll be good to go.
8. Go for a Drive. Then a Hike.
Something else that I really like to do during the fall is to drive around on country roads or in neighborhoods that have big houses. The weather is nice, so while you are using up gas, you're not wasting more by needing to turn on the air. And, with the right playlist (like Insecure's; pretty much any season will do), can make for a chill day and great conversation.
It's totally optional, but if you want to, you can follow that up by going on a hike. The crisp air and scenery will make it an even better date; especially if you're an exercise enthusiast.
9. Eat Some Fall-Themed Breakfast Foods—at Night
Cooking with someone is a fun date idea, whether it's the first or the 10th. And since breakfast food is something that most people like (and it's usually not too hard to make), why not have some of it for dinner?
Sweet potato pancakes, pumpkin French toast, apple spice muffins, mushroom omelets, baked apples with oatmeal and raisins, monkey bread, pear smoothies—something that most of these breakfast meals have in common is a key ingredient is a food that is in peak condition during the fall season.
Plus, eating breakfast tends to be cheaper than eating dinner, so it's a delicious option if anyone's budget is a little tighter than usual.
10. Check Out a Cidery
Wine tastings are also a great date. If you want to get real "fall" with it, go to a local cidery instead. Based on the options that are available in your area, some offer tours on how cider is made. Others have picnic tables for you and your date to hang out while listening to live entertainment. It's the kind of date that doesn't come with a ton of bells and whistles but, at the same time, can earn points for stepping a little outside of the box (you can find cideries the same way you can find fall festivals; just but "cidery near me" in the search field of your search engine). Happy fall (dating), y'all!
Featured image by Shutterstock
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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Feature image by Franco Zulueta
Meet The Black Woman Behind Cynthia Erivo's 'Wicked' Nails
Almost two weeks later, Wicked is still on everyone's lips. The high-grossing film stars Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande as Elphaba and Glinda, as their characters, tell a story about race and acceptance. However, what has captured audiences on and off the screen are Cynthia's and Ariana's looks as they play on their characters' styles.
Ariana, like her character Glinda, is often dressed in pink, and Cynthia, much like Elphaba, is covered in green. But what also has many people talking is the British actress' nails. Her nails are often long, blingy, and, of course, green. Many TikTok girlies are even doing their own versions of Elphaba's nails. But there's one person to thank for the green nail mania: Shea Osei.
The London-based nail artist has been working with the Wicked actress since she was 16 and shared all the tea on her epic nail styles with Unbothered UK.
Here what she said.
Shea On Elphaba's Nails Being The First Thing We See Before Seeing The Character
I was ecstatic. I was happy. It was just great to see my craft, my artistry just out there, not just nationally but globally.
Shea On Elphaba's Nails Representing Her Character Development
When we started with the first [nail] look, we chose nice, subtle green ombre nails that show who she is but a calm, chilled-out version of Elphaba. As she grew into herself, became more confident, and found herself, she was more like, yes, this is me, I’m Elphaba, I am who I am, and her nails became more daring. In the salon scene, when she had a transformation, her nails were, one, longer and two, they were more daring. There are many close-ups of Elphaba’s hands in the film, where you see her nails, and you see the difference in what they were [at the start of the film], so I feel like that helps to tell the story.
Shea On Elphaba's Nails Representing Black Womanhood
Yes, it was 100%. And I feel like, yes, the nails represented Black womanhood but also just being yourself. I just feel like the nails represented Cynthia as if to say, ‘I'm Black and I can be a Black witch’. This is who I am. And also, I can have braids and they can be done in any kind of way and can still be styled however is needed. I think we saw, if I'm correct, three or four different braid styles in the movie. Sim Camps, who styled the braids, did an amazing job — there would be mornings when she would be making sure the braids were intact and looked amazing on camera. So, yeah, definitely the braids were an ode to Black culture and the nails were 100% like, yes, we're doing it.
Shea On Seeing The Fan Recreation On TikTok
Yes, I have! If you are going to the salon and you want to recreate Elphaba's nails and let's say, you're going for the nails after the salon scene, where she just gets a fresh set, I would say ask for a plain black base and then ask if they have green foils to stick it on top to give that green effect. Then apply a shiny top coat. And it looks insane! The green ombre is more complicated with colours mixed to give it a green earthy colour.
Shea On The Importance Of Expressing Yourself Through Nail Art, Despite Some Criticism
We love it and don't want anyone to change. Let's look at athletes such as Flo-Jo, remember her nails? Now we have ShaCarri Richardson and her nails are always long and she's always got nice designs [on them]. It’s also Black people, not only Black women — because if you look at athletes that are men that make sure they get their nails painted as well. A$AP Rocky gets his nails painted. It's just so good to see that our culture is so colourful and also so inviting. It’s not only Black people that can have these kinds of nails, anyone can have them. I’m glad we can be the inspiration to everybody and they can draw bits of our culture and add it to theirs.
I like the fact that Cynthia is able to go out of there into the world and still be authentically herself. She hasn't changed for anything or anyone. This is how I am. I like my nails like this, my nail techs love doing my nails like this.
I'm over the moon that Cynthia can go out and still have her nails how she wants to. [Cynthia’s nails] has been a topic this entire Wicked press tour. Everyone will ask Cynthia about her nails in every interview and I love that. I love it because that's who she is. And if you see her you'll see that she's always got her nails done and she’s always got some banging heels on. Even on her down days, she’s always dressed. That's just how she is.
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Feature image by Jeff Spicer/ Getty Images