

Even if fall isn't your favorite season, I'd be shocked if you didn't agree that it's definitely one of the most romantic times of the year. The temperatures are mild. The scenery is beautiful. And, there are all sorts of autumn-themed activities that are ideal, whether you are considering beginning a new relationship or you've been with someone for several years now. Yeah, there's no doubt that if there's ever a wonderful time to do some old-fashioned dating, fall would be it.
That's why I'm all about encouraging couples to step out of the ho-hum box of checking out a dinner and a movie during this time; especially if it's two people who are about to go on their very first date. Whether a guy has recently asked you out or you're considering asking him (which is totally fine), here are some fall-themed ideas that are sure to make it a time together that neither of you will forget.
10 Fun Fall First Date Ideas
1. Attend a Fall Festival Together
Something that I used to really enjoy doing when I was in high school was attending fall festivals. They're fun, they're affordable and they tend to be pretty educational too. The reason why this is a great first date idea is because, if you're going on a date with someone you don't really know, its in public, the atmosphere is casual and, even if there isn't an immediate love connection, the two of you can still have a good time while you're together.
How do you figure out when and where the fall festivals in your area will be? It's simple. Just go to your favorite search engine and type "fall festivals near me" in the search field. A schedule of upcoming ones should immediately come up.
2. Stroll Through a Maze
Another cool fall-themed date idea is to go through a maze together. You can either stroll through one side-by-side or, you can make a competition out of it by deciding to take different routes to see who will get out of it first. The prize for the winner is they can pick what activity to do next. It's a way to take some of the stress of a first date off, you can figure out how both of you are under pressure and, while you're going through the maze, you can figure out if you're feelin' him without worrying about if he can read your facial expressions or body language (just sayin').
3. Do a Little Bit of Stargazing
OK, this is the kind of first date suggestion for two people who already know one another pretty well, but they are considering taking things up a notch in their relationship. There aren't too many things that are more romantic than pulling out some blankets, bringing along a thermos of hot cocoa, staring up at the stars and talking for hours on end. You can do this at a park (Google "stargazing near me") or even your backyard, if you'd prefer.
4. Watch Some Scary Movies Together
We all know what October 31 is; it's Halloween. I've got a friend who told me that something that he thinks is a hot date is binge-watching scary movies with someone. Between all of the cuddling up close so that you'll feel protected from anything lurking in your closet, I guess I can see the perks (LOL). As a bonus, it's also an opportunity to get educated about a genre where Black people don't always die first. If you don't believe me, check out "The Best Black Horror Movies Rated by Fans" and "The 40 Best Horror Movies Starring Black Actors and Actresses". Then make some sea salt caramel popcorn and mulled wine, dim the lights, and see who has the highest courage meter when it comes to guts and gore.
5. Take a Hot Air Balloon Ride
Heights are terrifying to me, so y'all will have to report back on how this date idea went for you. I still wanted to add it to the list because, whenever I see couples on television do it, I must admit that I quietly envy the experience.
To me, a hot air balloon date is just enough romance while still giving people the comfortable space to feel each other out. Plus, soaring over all of those leaves that are turning colors has got to be pretty close to breathtaking.
I do think it's important to give a financial heads-up. Hot air balloon rides ain't cheap. But if you hop onto a site like Groupon, you might be able to find a deal for somewhere around $125 per person.
6. Hold a Test Taste at a Local Coffee Shop
Another great casual date idea is to meet up at a local coffee shop. I like coffee shops a lot because most of them are fine with you purchasing a drink and just sitting there for hours. One way that you can get to know a little bit more about each other's tastes is to suggest each of you drink the other's 2-3 top favorite hot drinks on the menu. If the energy is going well, you can then ask each other about more favorites like "What's your favorite candy?" or your favorite artist or favorite canceled television show. You can actually get a list of 170 faves to inquire about here.
7. Light a Bonfire
If you like the chill that comes with fall weather at night, create a romantic mood by building a bonfire in your (or his) backyard. It's pretty easy to do (click here). The only other things that you'll need are the ingredients to make some homemade s'mores and you'll be good to go.
8. Go for a Drive. Then a Hike.
Something else that I really like to do during the fall is to drive around on country roads or in neighborhoods that have big houses. The weather is nice, so while you are using up gas, you're not wasting more by needing to turn on the air. And, with the right playlist (like Insecure's; pretty much any season will do), can make for a chill day and great conversation.
It's totally optional, but if you want to, you can follow that up by going on a hike. The crisp air and scenery will make it an even better date; especially if you're an exercise enthusiast.
9. Eat Some Fall-Themed Breakfast Foods—at Night
Cooking with someone is a fun date idea, whether it's the first or the 10th. And since breakfast food is something that most people like (and it's usually not too hard to make), why not have some of it for dinner?
Sweet potato pancakes, pumpkin French toast, apple spice muffins, mushroom omelets, baked apples with oatmeal and raisins, monkey bread, pear smoothies—something that most of these breakfast meals have in common is a key ingredient is a food that is in peak condition during the fall season.
Plus, eating breakfast tends to be cheaper than eating dinner, so it's a delicious option if anyone's budget is a little tighter than usual.
10. Check Out a Cidery
Wine tastings are also a great date. If you want to get real "fall" with it, go to a local cidery instead. Based on the options that are available in your area, some offer tours on how cider is made. Others have picnic tables for you and your date to hang out while listening to live entertainment. It's the kind of date that doesn't come with a ton of bells and whistles but, at the same time, can earn points for stepping a little outside of the box (you can find cideries the same way you can find fall festivals; just but "cidery near me" in the search field of your search engine). Happy fall (dating), y'all!
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
On her debut album,CTRL,SZA crooned about her desire to be a “Normal Girl.” Now, nearly eight years since its release, her Not Beauty line represents her commitment to existing outside of traditional beauty norms.
The singer whose real name is Solána Imani Rowe first teased the idea of a lip gloss line during Super Bowl LIX in February, noting that the release would be happening “very shortly.” Not Beauty debuted simultaneously with the Grand National Tour, which she co-headlines with Kendrick Lamar, in Minneapolis on April 19.
Each Not Beauty pop-up would offer fans the opportunity to purchase the glosses, learn more about the brand, and have the opportunity to meet the superstar in the flesh regardless of their ticket status.
During the Los Angeles tour stop, which spanned three dates on May 21, May 23, with the finale on May 24, xoNecole had the opportunity to test out the glosses included in this soft launch, as SZA revealed in a statement that "this is just the start of other lip products, including plans to launch stains, liners, and creams all inspired by SZA's “infamous layered lip combinations.”
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So, what is included in the first Not Beauty launch?
The current Not Beauty products available are lip glosses that come in three shades: In the Flesh, Strawberry Jelly, and Quartz.
During my visit to the first LA Not Beauty pop-up activation, I not only had the chance to purchase all three glosses but also took a peek inside the blow-up log tent. Inside, fans got to experience SZA’s love for nature and her fascination with bugs, which are prominently featured in her performances for this tour. At one point, she even had human preying mantis prancing across the stage y'all.
There were blow-up photos of the beauty that is SZA for fans (myself included) to take photos, but in wooden-like tree trunks were a deeper dive into some of the ingredients featured in her products and their benefits.
For example, the glosses feature Hi-Shine Lip Jelly and Shea Butter as key ingredients and some of the listed benefits included are:
- Shea Butter - “A powerhouse ingredient, offering both functional and nourishing benefits.”
- Hi-Shine Lip Jelly (featured in the In the Flesh shade) - “Formula glides on with perfect adhesion to the lips without stickiness).
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What are in the products?
Featured in an orange package, with images of a bug and flower on the side, the back of the box reads: “It’s NOT BEAUTY, it just works. Developed by Solána “SZA” Rowe.
As someone who never leaves home without a good lip gloss, I loved how compact the wood panel packaging is. Perfect to slip into my purse, or in the case of the show at SoFi Stadium, into my pocket when I’m not carrying a bag.
Because I’m a sucker for a good black and brown lip liner and clear gloss combo, I decided to wear the Quartz flavor on night one of the Grand National Tour LA stop, and it did not disappoint. I’ll admit, it’s light weight feel made me nervous because it felt like there was nothing on my lips. However, when I checked my lips in my compact mirror several times throughout the night, I was shocked to find that my gloss was still intact. I only reapplied once out of the habit of looking cute and applying my gloss, but not necessity.
Here are some of the ingredients featured, but not limited to, in the Quartz flavor.
- Polyisoubutene
- Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea)Butter
- Ricinus Communis (Castor) Seed Oil
- Mentha Piperita (Peppermint) Oil
- Tocopherol
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Lip prep
I’m a simple girl who loves to stay true to her roots. So ahead of the show, I stopped by a local Inglewood Beauty Supply store and grabbed a Black and Brown shade lip pencil for just under $2 a piece.
Shading the outline of my lips with the black pencil first, I used the brown to lightly fill the inside of my lips before applying my Quartz Not Beauty shade gloss.
How to apply
There’s truly no right or wrong way to apply lip gloss (in my opinion), with this being a brush applicator sort of product, I simply untwisted the top and swiped the gloss around my top and bottom lip generously.
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Results
Again, my Not Beauty Quartz product stayed on my lips from the start of the show, which began with a fire DJ set from LA’s very own, Mustard, to the conclusion when Kendrick and SZA reunited on stage to send us home to their duet, “luther,” featured on the rapper's GNX album.
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It’s almost always “annoyingly fun” to have conversations with super churchy folks. Example? Recently, I had on an anklet that a particular woman took notice of. When she complimented it and asked what it was made of, I said, “Moonstone, which is one of my birthstones.” Oddly enough, she then turned up her nose and said that stones and crystals were tied to witchcraft, to which I casually replied, “Then I guess you hate Aaron’s breastplate, huh?” She paused and turned her nose up again — this time, though, because she just experienced a good old-fashioned “checkmate.”
This article is about crystals not Scripture, so when it comes to the latter, I’ll just briefly say that if you mosey on over to Exodus 28, you’ll see that a high priest breastplate is referenced; one that contains precious gems including topaz, sapphire, agate, onyx and jasper (and that’s just for starters!). Yeah, it really is important to not just throw judgments around like confetti — know of what you are actually speaking of first (because that’s what Matthew 7 is really all about).
I did think it was important to mention that for potential skeptics about why this article even exists. Because although there are Scriptural and evenscience-based individuals who roll their eyes at the power of what gemstones and crystals can (possibly) do, I’m pretty sure that some of you are not surprised that the holistic and Ayurveda worlds see it all very differently.In those realms, energy plays a big role in physical, emotional, and mental health, and crystals are believed to cultivate balance or intensify certain feelings or experiences through that said energy.
That said, when it comes to sex, specifically, there are certain stones (which are basically what crystals are;in fact, all gemstones are a type of crystal) that are believed to help make intimacy even more satisfying. If you’re curious about which ones are, I’ve got 10 for you below.
10 Crystals That May Enhance Your Intimate Life
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1. Garnet
Garnet is a rich shade of red that happens to be January’s gemstone. It’s considered to be one of the oldest gemstones around, one that Egyptians believed was a symbol of life and something that they oftentimes wore in their signet rings. As far as symbolism goes, garnet also represents love and vitality as well as energy, passion and even self-confidence — all of which are quite relevant when it comes to having an active and fulfilling sex life.
2. Amethyst
Queen Cleopatra and Leonardo da Vinci are just two powerful figures who were big fans of the purple gemstone amethyst. Interestingly enough, it is February’s birthstone — the month that Valentine’s Day falls under. Another interesting fact is many early Christians relied on this gem in order to increase their spirituality while many Greeks used to see it as a stone that provided protection. When it comes to intimacy, amethyst is also associated with love and devotion as well as feelings of calm and reduced anxiety — and since the less calm you feel, the easier it is to climax…well. #wink
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3. Orange Carnelian
Looking to experience more joy and happiness? Or maybe you want to strengthen your friendships. Or perhaps it’s time to increase your pleasure levels or to go into deeper levels of sensuality. For all of these things, orange carnelian is a top-tier pick. As I did a bit more research on this stone, it’s considered to be a royal one and something that can bring forth peace. One of my favorite things about orange carnelian is it comes in different hues of orange — the deeper the color, the more passion it exudes. Just an FYI.
4. Rose Quartz
If you want to take your romantic relationship to another level, rose quartz has a solid reputation for helping to make that happen for you. In fact, this pink crystal is oftentimes referred to as being the stone of unconditional love because it encourages the wearers of it to both give as well as put themselves in the position to receive love too. Since rose quartz is also tied to things like emotional healing, restored trust and harmony, if you’re looking to make a much deeper intimate connection with your partner, this just might be the stone for you.
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5. Rhodochrosite
Rhodochrosite is a red-rose colored stone that I personally hold dear. I say that because, as a survivor of sexual abuse, it is one that helps recovering individuals to work through sexual trauma (and trauma, in general). It is associated with love, compassion and strength as it helps you to process your emotions in a positive way, so that you are able to effectively release past pain and deal with any PTSD that you might have. You know, I know a wife who sexually struggled in her marriage for years because she had been sexually assaulted in college and never told her husband.
A stone of compassion is a precious one — including when it comes to dealing with sexual trauma and intimacy challenges and learning how to face them. Salute to this stone right here.
6. Citrine
Citrine is November’s birthstone and its rich yellow color explains why it represents things like abundance, prosperity, radiance and happiness. Aside from this, whether you’re seeking clarity, you’d like to be more creative or you’re interested in becoming more sensual, citrine encourages all of this. Sensuality is a dope word because it’s all about appealing to all five senses; especially during intimacy. To learn more about how to do that, check out “How To Incorporate All Five Senses To Have The Best Sex Ever.”
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7. Red Jasper
While doing my own research on what red jasper represents, what I liked the most is it’s something that encourages emotional stability which is always a wonderful thing to have. Although it is a fiery red color, it also contains grounding properties and it symbolizes strength, courage and, another word that can always make sex more pleasurable: stamina. Since stamina is what helps both men and women to last longer during sex, anything that is a “stamina hack” earns an automatic mention when it comes to sex-themed content — including this.
8. Clear Quartz
A fun fact about quartz is it’s one of the most common minerals on this planet. When it comes to clear quartz, specifically, I like the way that it looks because it’s either a cloudy white or something that you can see straight through. As far as its symbolism is concerned, if you want to reduce physical discomfort, remove distractions and focus more on heightened levels of yourself, this crystal represents all of that. Clear quartz also encourages healing, spiritual growth and balance. To me, it seems like if you want to cultivate a spiritual or meditative (check out “What Exactly Is 'Orgasmic Meditation'?”) experience with your partner, clear quartz is a stone to try.
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9. Shiva Lingam
I ain’t got no lies to tell you — when I first happened upon this particular stone, the first thing that came to my mind was an article that I penned for the site back in the day entitled, “Blow Your Man's Mind By Giving Him This Tantalizing Massage.” That’s because it explains what a lingam massage is and, as you can see, this crystal has that word all up in it. The history of lingam is a bit layered (you can read about it here); however, because it is considered by many to be a phallic symbol and that typically represents the penis — shiva lingam is a neutral-colored crystal that represents both sexuality as well as fertility. Shocking, right? #sarcasm
10. Pyrite
It doesn’t escape me that it’s kind of funny that I’m closing this out with a crystal that has the nickname “fool’s gold.” That’s due to its appearance. That said, it’s also a stone that has some interesting symbolism to it. Since it comes from a Greek word that means fire — of course, it’s a crystal of passion. Since it also taps into things like heightened energy, self-esteem, creativity, awakened senses and the removal of toxic thoughts — if any stone should be in your “let’s get it on” crystal collection, pyrite would be the one!
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Know what’s kinda wild? While I was on Etsy’s site looking for another moonstone, a sake popped up in my feed on what the merchant calls their “libido crystal set” — and six of the 10 stones that I’ve mentioned throughout this article are featured in the collection.
Yeah, I’ll take that as a confirmation that whether you purchase a piece of jewelry that has one (or more) of these stones or you buy a piece of crystal itself to place somewhere in your bedroom — just putting your own energy into wanting a better sex life is a powerful step in the right direction to achieving it.
And what science can’t refute is the benefits of positive thoughts and actions — crystals or not.
So, if precious stones are totally your thing — enjoy, sis. Enjoy!
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