

For me, a great first date question is, "What sign are you?" I have dodged many a bullet by asking this question. I would say that I am 99 percent on the dot when it comes to predicting potential relationship drama just by assessing someone's sign and paying attention to their actions. However, I do realize I may have missed a few things and that has caused me to look a little deeper. I am notorious for asking my potential date what their time of birth is and where they were born. Why? Well, it is simple, I need to know what's in that birth chart.
Are we truly compatible or is this just a brief moment of coincidence? Most people, especially men, don't normally have this information on hand. To that, I reply, "Text your mom and see if she remembers." It may seem, and it probably is, a bit invasive but the way dating is set up these days, I need to collect as much information upfront.
Apps like Co-Star and The Pattern App have made it simple and easy to have this information at your fingertips. It allows you to see, astrologically, how you match up with friends, co-workers, family, and yes, potential boos, just by entering in a few details. Many people swear by these apps because of their uncanny ability to give you daily predictions that are spot-on.
Birth charts and zodiac signs are not new tools that have been used in the dating arena, on the recent popular Netflix series, Indian Matchmaker, we got a chance to see how big of a role in Indian cultures astrology played in picking a spouse. Honestly, it was very eye-opening. But this is all to say that birth charts can lend a lot of guidance to you and be useful in a self-discovery kind of way.
In order to delve in deeper into the topic of astrology charts, we spoke with Angelica Ray, an Intuitive, Healer, and Coach to shed light on all things there are to know about birth charts.
What Is A Birth Chart & What Does A Birth Chart Mean?
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Natal charts, commonly known as birth charts, are a chart that explains where the planets were in the sky at the date and time you were born. "A birth chart or a natal chart is essentially a snapshot of the sky, the cosmos, the planets at the exact moment you were born. So as the Earth turns, and depending upon where you were born and the time you were born, the space around Earth looks a particular way," Angelica explained to xoNecole.
"The planets, stars, moons are in particular positions based on those factors. And that position and that snapshot in time are what is known as our birth chart."
Every planet has a significant meaning as it applies to you and how you show up in the world. Your birth chart helps to highlight where the planets were located at your birth and the significance in that particular placement. Our complete personalities are made up of several personality traits of different zodiac signs that represent different areas of our lives. Each birth chart is fairly unique to the individual unless there was another person born at the same time, on the same date, in the same location as you. According to a Nylon.com article:
"Your personal planets — such as the moon, Venus, rising, Mercury, and Mars — can change signs every few hours to days, which is why your chart would look very different from someone born just a few days later."
Planets such as Pluto, Uranus, and Neptune on the other hand are very slow-changing signs that change every few years or so. These planets reflect things like generational shifts and traits that will be similar to people in the same age brackets.
How Do I Find My Birth Chart?
There are many different ways you can access your birth chart. Angelica says before you access your birth chart, you need to make sure you have a few things for accuracy. "You can get access to your birth chart through several different websites. There is one called Astro Dienst which in my opinion is the best astrology website for getting birth charts. While the chart itself is very helpful, it is also a great idea to get your birth chart from an astrologer who has a full understanding of the chart itself the placements, the transitions, and transits, so that you can have as much information as possible."
It is suggested with the time of birth to get it as close as possible to the minute you were born. You can still access your birth chart without it, but it is critical to have the exact time. The apps Co-Star, The Pattern, Astrology Zone, and Time Nomads are highly recommended for getting your birth chart.
How To Read Your Birth Chart
Reading your birth chart can be a little tedious. There are specific intricacies that the different planets create by playing off each other in certain positions. It may serve you best to find someone who knows how to read your birth chart for you and interpret all the relationships and meanings. Angelica advised, "The field is obviously not regulated, there are a lot of people claiming to be astrologers. Of course, there are people with less deep knowledge of astrology who can still provide you with information that can be helpful. If you want a really deep dive and to know all of the intricacies, then you would want to look for someone who has that specialization and who has been studying astrology for a long time and who makes it a priority and focus in their profession."
How To Interpret & Understand Your Birth Chart For Yourself
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Now that we know what the birth chart is and how to access one, let's discuss how it can help you understand yourself. A lot of the conversation around what people know about astrology and the zodiac is very one-dimensional. The birth chart gives you a deeper understanding of how people perceive you, how you navigate deeper emotions, how you love, how you communicate, etc. Angelica explained, "I always say the birth chart can tell you the skeleton of a person. The flesh of a person is all the experiences they've had. It's their values, their morals, etc. But your birth chart really does tell you the skeleton of a person. It is the structure of how you are made up and what energy has created you."
Once you understand the fundamentals through the birth chart, you can start to explore the more nuanced aspects of yourself. "It's really helpful to know because it can provide a lot of confirmation and affirmation of things you maybe sensed about yourself but didn't have anything, in particular, to point to. A lot of us are aware of our sun sign but that's like saying you know a face just by its nose. But you need to see the entirety of the faces just to have some sort of recognition to have some sort of familiarity and some understanding."
Angelica continued, "While the sun sign does provide you with a little bit of information, it's really how it works in tandem and conjunction with all of the other intricacies of the chart that make the information usable in your everyday life."
Understanding The Primal Triad: The Sun, The Moon, & The Rising Signs
The primal triad to me is the meat and potatoes for where everyone should begin with birth charts. The primal triad includes your sun sign, moon sign, and rising or ascendant sign. "These three elements really help you to understand the primal nature of the soul of a person," Angelica said.
However, let's look at the breakdown of each of the signs making up the primal triad from, as told by Angelica Ray:
- "The sun sign is typically the way a person shines their light in the world. It is their essence, it is how they 'do' the world most naturally.
- "The rising sign is sometimes called the ascendant sign. The ascendant sign typically represents how other people experience you in the world. So it is that first layer, that aura or experience they have with you. Imagine if your sun sign is the light, then your ascendant sign is the window through which that light shines. If it is a blue window, you might have a different tint of light on it than you would if it was a purple window. So your sun is the light that is shining and your ascendent is the light coming through the window and represents how people experience you.
- "Your moon sign is the deepest part of you emotionally, psychically and that is all the stuff you bury and you carry deep inside. It is how you 'do' your emotional world."
Birth charts are an interesting way to compare and contrast how you interact with yourself and others. But it is extremely important to gain as much insight as possible when starting this research to be accurate. Angelica offered this sage advice, "A birth chart is a tool. Fate and free will are constantly in interplay with one another. So while astrology might point to the lesson you are here to learn and things you should come here to do in this lifetime, you still have free will to choose how you are going to do those things and how that might play out."
She concluded, "It just tells you what energy you are made of and it is the choices that you make that allow you the opportunity to work in harmony or in disharmony with that energy."
If you would like to know more about birth charts or to book an appointment for services with Angelica Ray, please visit her website. She also can be found @angelicaray on Instagram.
Featured image by Shutterstock
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Adrian Marcel On Purpose, Sacrifice, And The 'Signs Of Life'
In this week's episode of xoMAN, host Kiara Walker talked with R&B artist Adrian Marcel, who opened up, full of heart and authenticity, about his personal evolution. He discussed his days transitioning from a young Bay Area singer on the come-up to becoming a grounded husband and father of four.
With honesty and introspection, Marcel reflected on how life, love, and loss have shaped the man he is today.
On ‘Life’s Subtle Signals’
Much of the conversation centered around purpose, sacrifice, and listening to life’s subtle signals. “I think that you really have to pay attention to the signs of life,” Marcel said. “Because as much as we need to make money, we are not necessarily on this Earth for that sole purpose, you know what I mean?” While he acknowledged his ambitions, adding, “that is not me saying at all I’m not trying to ball out,” he emphasized that fulfillment goes deeper.
“We are here to be happy. We are here [to] fulfill a purpose that we are put on here for.”
On Passion vs. Survival
Adrian spoke candidly about the tension between passion and survival, describing how hardship can sometimes point us away from misaligned paths. “If you find it’s constantly hurting you… that’s telling you something. That’s telling you that you’re going outside of your purpose.”
Marcel’s path hasn’t been without detours. A promising athlete in his youth, he recalled, “Early on in my career, I was still doing sports… I was good… I had a scholarship.” An injury changed everything. “My femur broke. Hence why I always say, you know, I’m gonna keep you hip like a femur.” After the injury, he pivoted to explore other careers, including teaching and corporate jobs.
“It just did not get me—even with any success that happened in anything—those times, back then, I was so unhappy. And you know, to a different degree. Like not just like, ‘I really want to be a singer so that’s why I’m unhappy.’ Nah, it was like, it was not fulfilling me in any form or fashion.”
On Connection Between Pursuing Music & Fatherhood
He recalled performing old-school songs at age 12 to impress girls, then his father challenged him: “You can lie to these girls all you want, but you're really just lying to yourself. You ain't growing.” That push led him to the piano—and eventually, to his truth. “Music is my love,” Marcel affirmed. “I wouldn’t be a happy husband if I was here trying to do anything else just to appease her [his wife].”
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
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Self-Validation, No Meals After 5 P.M. & The Wellness Rituals That Helped Lizzo Take Her Power Back
Don't let the "weight release" fool you, Lizzo's transformation wasn't just physical. It was spiritual, emotional, and deeply personal. In her Women's Health cover story, the "Good As Hell" artist opened up about the low point that became the catalyst for radical change in her life, inside and out.
In the summer of 2023, Lizzo found herself at the center of what she calls painful allegations when some of her former dancers filed a lawsuit against her. The 37-year-old singer has denied their claims, and though she has experienced "backlash my entire career," going through such legal woes coupled with public scrutiny proved to be detrimental to her mental health, leading her to one of the darkest periods of her life.
She told Women's Health, "I got very paranoid and isolated. I wasn’t even talking to my therapist. I wasn’t present. I wasn’t open. I wasn’t myself anymore."
After spending months in isolation, Lizzo, whose real name is Melissa Viviane Jefferson, decided to go to a tour stop on the Renaissance World Tour. She was nervous that the public would shun her, boo her, or reject her, but instead, she was embraced. It shifted something in her and after feeling so in the dark, she saw the light again. "It made me feel like, wow, maybe I don’t want to die," she shared with Women's Health.
"That was the kick-starter to me being like, ‘Okay, Melissa, get your ass in gear and take your f*cking life back.’"
Her first step in Operation Get Your Life Back? Cutting out the external noise. She gave her team total control of her social media and stopped looking at comments. "My validation was from external sources, people telling me they loved me, or that I look good, and accepting me," she explained. "But if that’s all I’m getting my validation from, when it changes—and it will, because people are not always going to like you—what happens? Where are you going to get your love from?"
Lizzo continued, "I can convince myself that I’m beautiful, my body fine, no matter how big or small. But reminding myself that you can’t let others tell you who you are—that was hard work."
Lizzo started going to therapy again, she started practicing quigong meditation, reading books, journaling, and doing sound baths. She released unhealthy relationships, drank echinacea tea, and began incorporating Pilates as a means to "feel sacred" and "be gentle" with herself.
But what many have interpreted as a "weight loss transformation" after she popped out sharing she met her "weight release" goal earlier this year, Lizzo has clarified that it has been something deeper for her than the aesthetic of a smaller body. "I wanted to be big-girl skinny," she told the mag. "Every big girl knows what I’m talking about. Big-girl skinny is 250 pounds." According to her, it was her back issues that inspired her to take the physical part of her wellness journey seriously.
I DID IT! #weightrelease
@lizzo I DID IT! #weightrelease
Through her friend Kelly Rowland, she linked up with her now-trainer Marvin Telp and developed a fitness regimen that prioritized strength and intention. Her weekly schedule now includes moves like single-leg deadlifts, reverse flies, and lateral lunges, along with infrared sauna sessions and cardio. Add to that a change in eating habits after realizing her vegan diet no longer served her (to be fair, she wasn't doing the vegan thing the "healthiest" way).
All the meat substitutes, bread, cashew cheese, and soy left her bloated and lightheaded, so now she's switched things up a bit to fill the nutritional gaps. When it comes to diet, it's heavy on the protein and vegetables for Lizzo. A typical day eating looks like scrambled eggs and cauliflower hash browns for breakfast, Thai chicken salad or lettuce wraps for lunch, and turkey meatloaf with greens for dinner.
She also has a strict cutoff of no meals after 5 p.m. to support her GERD and give her body the time it needs before bed to digest her food sans the acid reflux. Of her relationship with food and wellness, she told Women's Health, "There's a balance. I think that's what true health is."
Read Lizzo's full cover story with Women's Health here.
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