

I promise you that I love Black men; especially the kind of Black men like the one I recently held an impromptu conversation with. Here's the setup—while I was out supporting some local musicians at an event (if you're ever rolling through Nashville on a Sunday, check out Jason Eskridge's IG page to see if Sunday Night Soul is going on), I ended up catching up with a pretty well-known local celebrity musician in the city. Brandon Newsome is his name.
Anyway, as he was telling me about his deep love—and lust, in the most complimentary way possible—for Black women, this man who's in his mid-30s said something that made me high-five him as well as pat him on the back—"You know what I really love? Stretch marks and cute little dimples on the thighs. That's some grown woman-ish right there!" Beautiful.
So, before I even get into how to remove cellulite and stretch marks (among other things), it really should go on record that if you have either, to many grown folks, cellulite and stretch marks are not as unsightly as you might think. Even in a world of photoshopping and IG filters, and—as an ex of mine used to put it—wake-up-face-woman is still revered and in high demand.
But if you want to nix those skin "imperfections" simply because you want to feel more comfortable, I get it. Personally, nothing gets on my nerves more than the pimples that like to creep up on my shoulder blades just in time for June. Anyway, just so you can feel like your best self in your sexy swimsuit and beautiful sundresses, here are some natural ways to remove (or at least soften the appearance of) cellulite, body acne, stretch marks, and skin discoloration—oh, and I threw in a couple of natural ways to remove body hair too!
1.Get a Dry Brush
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Here's something that will make you want to change your sheets once a week. Did you know that every 60 seconds, we shed around 30,000 dead skin cells? Not every day, every single second! Some of them fall off while "thanks" to the sebum and dirt that's on our body, others stick. What helps to remove them is dry brushing before taking a shower. Another benefit that comes from dry brushing is it gets your blood and lymphatic system flowing, which ultimately removes toxins, tightens your skin, and softens the appearance of cellulite (the totally annoying subcutaneous fat that causes dimpling of the skin).
In order to get the best results, just make sure you use a natural bristle brush; one that is semi-firm. Also, be sure to brush in small circular motions, up towards your heart. It's most effective if you do this 20 minutes at a time, on a weekly basis.
2.Eat Gelatin
Don't get too excited. When I say "gelatin", I'm not talking about Jell-O. I'm referring to something along the lines of beef gelatin; it's a dietary supplement that contains amino acids glycine and proline that is good for your hair, skin and nails. Plus, it contains 20 grams of collagen per serving and is an awesome source of protein.
According to research on cellulite and what causes it, a lot of us end up with more than we should have on our bodies because we fail to get enough gelatin into our systems. After all, it's a part of what helps to build connective tissue, so without it…there's a little more wiggle and jiggle.
By the way, if you'd prefer not to eat it, there are supplements that you can take too.
3.Take Some Zinc
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Again, as someone who battles with shoulder and back acne right before my period and during the summertime, I can personally vouch for what zinc can do for breakouts. In fact, the reason why a lot of us end up with pimples (especially as adults) is because we don't have enough zinc in our system.
So, what exactly does zinc do? What doesn't it do? Zinc increases metabolism, renews cells, balances hormones, supports liver health and aids in nutrition absorption—all of which work to prevent zits from popping up.
As far as how much zinc you should take, nine milligrams a day is good. However, because zinc doesn't absorb well into the skin (neither does collagen; Google that sometime), it's best to avoid the creams and take a zinc supplement and/or eat foods that are high in zinc like eggs, nuts, whole grains, pumpkin and squash seeds and green beans and kale.
4.Apply a DIY Green Tea Toner
Green tea is loaded with antioxidants; that's part of the reason why it's so good for your immune system. The reason why it tops the list for fighting body acne is because it also contains flavonoids, tannins and EGCG (epigallocatechin-3-gallate) that work together to slow down sebum production, reduce inflammation and fight bacteria too. Research also reveals that green tea has the ability to hinder the growth of P. acnes, something that is a major factor in acne-prone skin.
A great way to get green tea into the body is to drink it (hot or cold). One way to get it onto your skin is to apply it as a toner. Just boil a couple of tea bags, let it steep and cool and then either put the cooled tea into a spray bottle or apply it onto your freshly washed skin with cotton balls. Try and do it daily for optimal results.
5.Exfoliate with Baking Soda
Unfortunately, what oftentimes follows a pimple is a scar. If you pick at it, it can take just that much longer for the scar to go away. If you're trying to get a few to fade so that you can avoid wearing quite as much concealer and foundation this summer season, try exfoliating your acne scar tissue with some baking soda. The tiny sodium bicarbonate crystals that's in baking soda will slough off dead skin cells and soften damaged tissue so that new skin will appear quicker.
All you need to do is make a paste out of baking soda and water. Wash the areas where the scars are, tone them and then apply the paste. Let it sit for 5-7 minutes and then rinse with cool water. Not only will the baking soda cleanse your pores and help to prevent future breakouts, but if you do this 1-3 times a week, you should see your acne scars start to fade away within a few weeks as well.
6.Do a Rose Hip Oil Rub
The vitamins and fatty acids in rosehip oil make it a great beauty regimen addition for hair, skin and nails. Not only does it help to treat extremely dry skin, but it also helps to significantly reduce aging signs, grow nails, soothe your scalp, protect your skin from environmental damage. Plus, thanks to its powerful astringent properties and trans-retinoic acid (an acid that regenerates skin cells), rosehip oil can also soothe acne wounds and heal acne scars over time too.
Wanna know what else rosehip oil does? Due to all of the essential fatty acids that are in it, rosehip oil can soften and prevent stretch marks by increasing the strength and elasticity of your skin.
7.Take Some Vitamin K
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Speaking of stretch marks, pretty much all of us have a set lurking around somewhere, but do you know what causes them? We all have three layers of skin—epidermis, dermis and base. Stretch marks occur when the middle layer tears; usually because our skin is stretching faster or wider than its elasticity's capacity due to things like pregnancy or extreme weight loss or weight gain.
Although you can't always totally get rid of stretch marks, you can reduce their appearance. One way to do that is by getting more Vitamin K into your system. It works because it helps to add more elasticity to your blood vessels. Foods high in Vitamin K include dark green veggies, chicken, prunes, kiwi, egg yolks, cheddar and butter.
8.Give Yourself an Alfalfa and/or Olive Oil Massage
Speaking of Vitamin K, something else that contains a concentrated amount of it is alfalfa. Alfalfa also has a ton of Vitamin E and essential amino acids in it too. As a bonus, alfalfa contains protein and antifungal properties that will detoxify your skin too. This is why it's something else that's a wonderful remedy for stretch marks.
A great recipe to try is to mix a tablespoon of alfalfa powder with a tablespoon of olive oil (it has vitamins A, D and E in it). Wash your skin, apply the paste onto it and gently massage the areas where the paste is. Let it sit for 10 minutes and then rinse. If you do this three times a week, you should see a noticeable difference in 4-6 weeks.
9.Make a Turmeric Mask
If you're nervous about putting on a new swimsuit due to some skin discoloration that you might have, my first recommendation is to get to the source of what caused it. If it's due to a birthmark or vitiligo, never forget that so-called flaws can be some of the most distinctive and beautiful things about us. On the other hand, if you've got discoloration because of contact dermatitis, eczema, psoriasis, tinea versicolor (I've actually had it before; it takes forever to clear up) or even candida, see a doctor. Treating these skin ailments may be all that you need to even out your skin tone.
But if your skin is discolored due to mild hyperpigmentation or aging, there are a couple of natural things that you can try. For starters, how about a turmeric mask? The properties in this particular mask is able to reduce inflammation, lighten dark circles, protect your skin from sun damage (because contrary to popular assumption, we need to use sunscreen too), lighten the appearance of stretch marks and, yes even out (mild) skin discoloration overall.
All you need to do is apply a turmeric mask to the areas where you want to even your skin out. Mix a tablespoon of turmeric powder, a teaspoon of honey, a half teaspoon of sweet almond oil and a few squeezes of fresh lemon juice (lemon contains antioxidants that lighten and brighten skin). Apply the mask to freshly washed skin, let it sit for 15 minutes, and then rinse thoroughly. It's best to do this twice a month for optimal results.
10. Apply Some Kiwi Extract
Something else that's awesome is kiwi extract. The high amount of Vitamin E that's in it helps to heal acne scars, reduce age spots and protect your skin from free radicals. Kiwi extract also contains the enzyme actinidin, which is great at exfoliating dead skin cells (something that can make your skin appear dry and dull).
One way to get to most out of what kiwi has to offer is to make your own kiwi sugar scrub. Combine two cups of white granulated sugar with three kiwis and one-half up of grapeseed oil. Mix everything together and gently massage your damp skin with it. Then wash as usual. Another approach is to take kiwi extract in supplement form. Just a heads up—supplements ain't cheap, so you might just wanna go the produce route instead.
11.Use a Pumice Stone
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Once your skin is fresh, radiant and summer-ready, the only thing left to do is to remove any unwanted hairs. If you're known to nick yourself shaving and/or you hate waxing, why not try a pumice stone? I know, you probably thought they were only for your feet; however, there are lots of women who say the stone is also really good at getting rid of fine hairs too.
All you need to do is rub the stone on your clean dry skin in small circular motions. The pores in the stone will cling to your hairs and pull them out. Just make sure to thoroughly moisturize afterwards and to avoid using the stone on your face, underarms or bikini line. It's a bit too harsh for sensitive areas.
12. Try a Papaya
One more tip—a papaya. Although this fruit won't remove hair, what it does do is weaken hair follicles over time so that you won't have to worry about hair coming back. Mash a teaspoon of fresh papaya with a teaspoon of turmeric powder. Lay out a towel that you don't mind getting dirty (turmeric has a tendency to stain) and apply the paste liberally to the areas where you want to get rid of unwanted hair for good. Let the paste sit for 15 minutes and thoroughly rinse off with warm water. If you do this once a week, you should see a reduction in hair growth in about a month. Pretty cool, huh?
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
On her debut album,CTRL,SZA crooned about her desire to be a “Normal Girl.” Now, nearly eight years since its release, her Not Beauty line represents her commitment to existing outside of traditional beauty norms.
The singer whose real name is Solána Imani Rowe first teased the idea of a lip gloss line during Super Bowl LIX in February, noting that the release would be happening “very shortly.” Not Beauty debuted simultaneously with the Grand National Tour, which she co-headlines with Kendrick Lamar, in Minneapolis on April 19.
Each Not Beauty pop-up would offer fans the opportunity to purchase the glosses, learn more about the brand, and have the opportunity to meet the superstar in the flesh regardless of their ticket status.
During the Los Angeles tour stop, which spanned three dates on May 21, May 23, with the finale on May 24, xoNecole had the opportunity to test out the glosses included in this soft launch, as SZA revealed in a statement that "this is just the start of other lip products, including plans to launch stains, liners, and creams all inspired by SZA's “infamous layered lip combinations.”
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So, what is included in the first Not Beauty launch?
The current Not Beauty products available are lip glosses that come in three shades: In the Flesh, Strawberry Jelly, and Quartz.
During my visit to the first LA Not Beauty pop-up activation, I not only had the chance to purchase all three glosses but also took a peek inside the blow-up log tent. Inside, fans got to experience SZA’s love for nature and her fascination with bugs, which are prominently featured in her performances for this tour. At one point, she even had human preying mantis prancing across the stage y'all.
There were blow-up photos of the beauty that is SZA for fans (myself included) to take photos, but in wooden-like tree trunks were a deeper dive into some of the ingredients featured in her products and their benefits.
For example, the glosses feature Hi-Shine Lip Jelly and Shea Butter as key ingredients and some of the listed benefits included are:
- Shea Butter - “A powerhouse ingredient, offering both functional and nourishing benefits.”
- Hi-Shine Lip Jelly (featured in the In the Flesh shade) - “Formula glides on with perfect adhesion to the lips without stickiness).
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What are in the products?
Featured in an orange package, with images of a bug and flower on the side, the back of the box reads: “It’s NOT BEAUTY, it just works. Developed by Solána “SZA” Rowe.
As someone who never leaves home without a good lip gloss, I loved how compact the wood panel packaging is. Perfect to slip into my purse, or in the case of the show at SoFi Stadium, into my pocket when I’m not carrying a bag.
Because I’m a sucker for a good black and brown lip liner and clear gloss combo, I decided to wear the Quartz flavor on night one of the Grand National Tour LA stop, and it did not disappoint. I’ll admit, it’s light weight feel made me nervous because it felt like there was nothing on my lips. However, when I checked my lips in my compact mirror several times throughout the night, I was shocked to find that my gloss was still intact. I only reapplied once out of the habit of looking cute and applying my gloss, but not necessity.
Here are some of the ingredients featured, but not limited to, in the Quartz flavor.
- Polyisoubutene
- Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea)Butter
- Ricinus Communis (Castor) Seed Oil
- Mentha Piperita (Peppermint) Oil
- Tocopherol
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Lip prep
I’m a simple girl who loves to stay true to her roots. So ahead of the show, I stopped by a local Inglewood Beauty Supply store and grabbed a Black and Brown shade lip pencil for just under $2 a piece.
Shading the outline of my lips with the black pencil first, I used the brown to lightly fill the inside of my lips before applying my Quartz Not Beauty shade gloss.
How to apply
There’s truly no right or wrong way to apply lip gloss (in my opinion), with this being a brush applicator sort of product, I simply untwisted the top and swiped the gloss around my top and bottom lip generously.
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Results
Again, my Not Beauty Quartz product stayed on my lips from the start of the show, which began with a fire DJ set from LA’s very own, Mustard, to the conclusion when Kendrick and SZA reunited on stage to send us home to their duet, “luther,” featured on the rapper's GNX album.
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The millennial in me is nostalgic at best...and at worst, deeply, deeply yearning. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss the past.
In the days of old, community was never hard to find. It was a knock on the door from a neighborhood friend who needed no invitation. It was trading jokes over lunch and lingering strolls after the final bell. It was choir practice on Saturdays and giggling in the pews on Sundays.
The love was free and plentiful, and my cup runneth over.
But there was a certain rhythm to the ’90s and early 2000s. People were ever-present in the most ordinary ways, and fortunately, this followed me well into adulthood. The door knocks have since turned into tequila shots, and brunch on Sundays became my new sanctuary, but you know...same thing!
However, life has changed drastically, and with it, so have we. Sometimes by force (2020..no other words needed, amirite), and other times by the natural, inevitable flow of growing up.
As we age, our identities become more defined. And while the people we’ve always loved still matter deeply, we start to crave new connections and experiences that reflect who we’re becoming.
When COVID reared its ugly head, not only did it disrupt the lives we knew, it pushed us to reevaluate the lives we want… and the people we want in them. For many, it exposed a loneliness that had already been there beneath the surface. It made space for questions we hadn’t slowed down to ask: What do I truly enjoy? Who do I feel most myself around?
After months of quarantine and isolation, we were left craving connection in a deeper, more intentional way. This sparked a renewed interest in “the third space.”
Coined by sociologist Ray Oldenburg, the term refers to those places beyond home (first space) and work (second space) where people gather, build relationships, and foster community. Think coffee shops, libraries, dance studios, run clubs, and other environments that offer connection outside of our daily obligations.
My own desire to find like-minded folks has only intensified over the past few years. And as a self-proclaimed medicine woman and wellness enthusiast, I went looking for spaces that felt good, and found more than a few.
So if you're in NYC and searching for places that feed your spirit (and tend to your interests), consider this your starter guide. Whether it's a wellness club, a run group, or a kickball league, these third spaces might just feel like home.
A Safe Space Mentor
My Shaylaaa.
What started out as a simple offering from founder Teya Knapp has grown into one of the most intentional, heartfelt communities I’ve had the privilege to be part of. Together with COO Jasmine Dayze, they have cultivated more than a collective—it’s a movement rooted in community care, softness, and restoration.
A nonprofit centered on mental health advocacy and equity, A Safe Space Mentor has redefined the possibilities of communal healing. With over 22 fully funded retreats to date (yes, free), monthly programs ranging from support groups and hikes to pottery classes, free therapy, and now a physical home at A Safe Place Studios, they’ve built an ecosystem where people can show up fully and be accepted just as they are.
I came across them by chance, but as fate would have it, it allowed me to bloom in ways I never saw coming, surrounded by women who affirm and love me in ways I didn’t know I needed. I’m serious, ya’ll. Even at the risk of sounding dramatic: expect to be changed, to find friends, possibly even family, and maybe a group chat, too.
Beyond their no-cost offerings, they also host weekly yoga and meditation classes, massages, and more. Learn more about this beautiful space here, and keep an eye out for their upcoming Juneteenth gathering.
NARC
Who needs Hinge when there’s a run club? (Kidding... kind of.)
NARC, short for Not a Run Club, is technically a run club but with a twist. Co-founded by Omari Ross and Noah Hutchins, NARC takes a holistic approach to fitness and community. Picture track workouts, dynamic circuits, core finishers, followed by a post-workout brunch with the crew. Sure, the occasional match may be made, but at its core, NARC is about connection, movement, and showing up for yourself and others.
It’s the kind of space where most people arrive solo but rarely leave without a new friend or a new perspective. And personally? I never tire of seeing Black men love on one another out loud.
If you’re looking for a solid sweat (not gonna lie, it gives Olympic training at times), laughs, and folks that show up rain or shine, they’ve got you. Beyond the track, they also host boxing classes, hot yoga sessions, social mixers, and a number of other events. NARC meets every Saturday at McCarren Park at 10 a.m. unless otherwise noted. Learn more here.
The Music Nerds
My favorite part about The Music Nerds? The DJ. Scene Serene, a former music journalist turned vibe curator, created this club out of pure love for music and the Black people who create it. And that love is felt in every detail.
Past functions have celebrated Kendrick Lamar, Black women in music, and Virginia legends, each thoughtfully crafted to tell a story through sound. Here, you’re not just dancing, you’re feeling, remembering, and reflecting, too. Additionally, she kicks off each event with icebreaker quote cards to spark conversation, because the vibe isn’t just in the music; it’s also in the people.
That sense of connection comes full circle in her choice of venues, which are always Black-owned spaces that feel safe and inclusive for all Black folk. After all, if we don’t support each other, who will?
This isn’t just a party. It’s a celebration of culture, connection, and Black joy…and yes, it’s free! She’s cooking up some magic for the summer, so follow her here to stay in the loop.
SociaLight Social Club
For the anti-social socialite or the extrovert who wants a little more intimate play, the SociaLight Club might be your sweet spot.
Nayah, the founder, is all about curating intimate, low-pressure gatherings that bring people together through random yet delightful activities, all while supporting Black-owned businesses in the process.
From coworking days to supper clubs and nights building LEGOs, it’s the kind of space where you can show up as you are and end up discovering new people and new passions. It’s chill, it’s intentional, and very much a vibe. Keep up with her events here.
Recess Kickball League
Black folks deserve to frolic, dilly-dally, and straight-up play. And that’s the spirit behind Recess Kickball League. Though kickball is the anchor, it’s really about reclaiming joy through movement and connection.
Founded by five friends during the lockdowns of 2020 (Emmanuel Maduakolam, Christopher Thomas, Cris Jones, Daemon “Tubbs” Krueger, and Ermias Tessema), the club started as a way to get outside and let loose, and now it’s blossomed into a thriving community with leagues in both LA and Brooklyn.
If you’ve been looking for field day vibes and opportunities to love on your inner child, keep up with them here.
The Free Black Women’s Library
Tucked in the heart of Bed-Stuy, The Free Black Women’s Library is a cozy nook that centers Black women and holds space for book lovers, creatives, and community-builders alike.
Founded by OlaRonke Akinmowo, it functions as more than a library but a cultural hub. While every book is written by a Black woman or non-binary author, she also hosts grief workshops, writing circles, and curated events that honor both healing and imagination, too. Their monthly calendar is packed with offerings that meet you where you are, celebrating who we are and who we’re becoming.
And the best part? You don’t have to buy a book, you can swap one. Bring something you’ve read, and leave with something new. Keep up with them here.
Peak & Pace
This one’s for the runners and the lovers. If you’re looking to meet your future bae who’s into fitness and a good Sunday reset, Peak & Pace might just be your new favorite link.
Founded by London native Owen Akhibi after relocating to NYC, the club was born out of something a lot of us know too well: feeling a little lonely in a big city. So he created a space that brings people together who just so happen to run.
Every meetup ends with a social, and some runs come with fun themes like wearing flags repping your country to wristbands signaling your relationship status (lovers tap in!). Off the track, they host yoga, comedy nights, parties, and other events to build real connections. They meet every Saturday at Prospect Park at 10 a.m. Tap in with them here.
Free Peace Meditation Club
Free Peace Meditation Club offers a rare pause in the middle of NYC’s bustling Lower East Side, encouraging folks to be still in the midst of chaos while finding beauty in it, too. What began as a simple conversation between Kenji Summers and Angelo Baque has blossomed into a welcoming sanctuary where New Yorkers gather to unplug, recenter, and recharge.
Hosted monthly at the artfully decorated Awake NY, this community-driven experience invites participants to reconnect through guided reflection, mindful breathwork, and thoughtfully curated music that features the rich sounds of New York’s rap, R&B, and jazz artists. FPANYMC stands as a powerful affirmation that stillness is not a luxury but an essential practice. Keep up with them here.
Knot Okay Club
This one’s for the soft girls, the creatives, and anyone who’s ever needed to crochet their stress away.
Knot Okay Club brings Black women and non-binary folks together through fiber arts. It’s about slowing down, making something with your hands, and feeling held while you do it. The work might be small and intentional, but the connection? That’s the magic. Learn more about them here.
Girls That Gather
Lauren Franco started Girls That Gather after moving to NYC and realizing just how hard it can be to find genuine connections as an adult.
What began as a way to bring women together has grown into a go-to space for meaningful conversation and real friendship. From curated dinner parties to small, cozy events, everything is designed to feel easy and intentional. No awkward networking energy, just good vibes and even better people. Learn more about them here.
Adanne Bookshop
Adanne is one of those places that makes you want to linger.
Tucked away in Brooklyn and owned by educator Darlene Okpo, this Black woman-owned bookshop is as intentional as it is inviting. The books are curated with care, the energy is warm, and the events, from author talks to community gatherings to incense-making, always leave you a little more full than when you walked in.
It’s not just a bookstore; it’s a cultural anchor. Check out their events here.
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Featured image by Clarke Sanders on Unsplash