6 Reasons To Fall In Love With Your Flaws
Growing up, I had a really bad relationship with my teeth. Although things were cool when I was a little girl, once my adult ones came in, it seemed like my teeth were so big that they overtook my entire face (I've got the pics to prove it). As if that wasn't bad enough, I also had an overbite, a little overcrowding on my front bottom teeth and my left front tooth protrudes slightly more than my right one. Ugh. Out of all the things that are "wrong" with my teeth, that annoys me the most.
I begged my mother to take me to the dentist. Beyond semi-routine cleanings, she didn't. It wasn't until I was well into my 30s when she explained that even though she knows she should have, she didn't because she had an illogical fear of the dentist herself.
As pissed as I was about having these teeth of mine, there are two distinct things that happened that helped me to make peace.
For one thing, back in the day, I used to do a little bit of modeling. During a shoot, I mentioned to the husband/wife photography team that I wanted to get braces. Both of them paused and shook their head "no". The husband then said, "Braces aren't always a good thing. They can totally alter your facial structure and, believe it or not, mess up your smile."
The second thing that happened was the death of my father. My smile — lips, overbite 'n all — I get from him. Now that he's gone, it's weird but it's like I get a glimpse of him every day whenever I look in the mirror. Ironically, that makes me smile. Big.
Both of these life moments have taught me the same overall point — flaws are not something to be ashamed of or even something that we should be consumed with changing. As you'll see in just a sec, if your perspective is healthy, your so-called flaws can actually be the best thing about you (physically).
6 Ways To Embrace Your Flaws
1.Flaws Are What Make You Unique
Recently, I checked out "Here Are the Most Beautiful Women in Each Country". As I scrolled down, some of the women caught my eye (like Kate Menson from Ghana, Samantha Harris from Australian Aboriginal, Nona Gosa from South Africa and actor Teyonah Parris who represented US/Africa). On some level, all of the ladies had something attractive about them, but to me, many of them were not memorable.
Whether it's a semi-jacked up tooth like mine, a birthmark that might be on your face, any eye that is slightly lighter or darker than the other — whatever your "flaw" may be, choose to see it as a mark of distinction. It's something that sets you apart and makes you stand out.
And really — would you rather be cookie-cutter-pretty or someone who is truly memorable? Personally, I prefer Door B.
Feature image by Getty Images.
Related Articles:
This Author Is Using a Children's Book To Make Owning Your Flaws Mainstream – Read More
This Photo Series Highlights The Power Of Our Flaws – Read More
Chasing Perfection Took Me Away From God – Read More
Feeling Yourself Is The Vital Step To Finding The Love Of Your Life – Read More
- Love Your Flaws Because They Make You Whole | Thought Catalog ›
- Why You Need To Either Love My Flaws Or Let Me Go ›
- Boost Self-Esteem By Loving Your Flaws And Failures ›
- 7 Reasons Why It Is Important To Embrace Your Flaws ›
- 12 Things I've Come to Learn About Love – Chris Hill – Medium ›
- 4 steps for falling in love with your flaws - positively present ›
Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at missnosipho@gmail.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
You've Never Seen Luke James In A Role Quite Like This
Over the years, we've watched Luke James play countless characters we'd deem sex symbols, movie stars, and even his complicated character in Lena Waithe's The Chi. For the first time in his career, the New Orleans-born actor has taken on a role where his signature good looks take a backseat as he transforms into Edmund in Them: The Scare—a mentally deranged character in the second installment of the horror anthology series that you won't be able to take your eyes off.
Trust us, Edmund will literally make you do a double take.
xoNecole sat down with Luke James to talk about his latest series and all the complexity surrounding it—from the challenges taking on this out-of-the-box role to the show's depiction of the perplexing history of the relationship between Black Americans and police. When describing the opportunity to bring Edmund's character to life, Luke was overjoyed to show the audience yet another level of his masterful acting talents.
"It was like bathing in the sun," he said. "I was like, thank you! Another opportunity for me to be great—for me to expand my territory. I'm just elated to be a part of it and to see myself in a different light, something I didn't think I could do." He continued, "There are parts of you that says, 'Go for it because this is what you do.' But then also that's why it's a challenge because you're like, 'um, I don't know if I'm as free as I need to be to be able to do this.' Little Marvin just created such a safe space for me to be able to do this, and I'm grateful for everything I've been able to do to lead to this."
Courtesy
Them: The Scare, like the first season, shines a light on the plight of Black Americans in the United States. This time, the story is taking place in the 1990s, at the height of the Rodney King riots in Los Angeles. While the series presents many underlying themes, one that stands out is Black people and the complicated relationship with the police. "For the audience, I think it sets the tone for the era that we're in and the amount of chaos that's in the air in Los Angeles and around the country from this heinous incident. And I say it just sets the tone of the anxiety and anxiousness that everybody is feeling in their own households."
James has been a longtime advocate against police brutality himself. He has even featured Elijah McClain, the 23-year-old Colorado man who died after being forcibly detained by officers, as his Instagram avatar for the past five years. So, as you can imagine, this script was close to his heart. "Elijah was a soft-loving oddball. Different than anyone but loving and a musical genius. He was just open and wanted to be loved and seen."
Getty Images
Luke continued, "His life was taken from him. I resonate with his spirit and his words...through all the struggle and the pain he still found it in him to say, 'I love you and I forgive you.' And that's who we are as people—to our own detriment sometimes. He's someone I don't want people to forget. I have yet to remove his face from my world because I have yet to let go of his voice, let go of that being [because] there's so many people we have lost in our history that so often get forgotten."
He concluded, "I think that's the importance of such artwork that moves us to think and talk about it. Yes, it's entertaining. We get to come together and be spooked together. But then we come together and we think, 'Damn, Edmund needed someone to talk to. Edmund needed help... a lot [of] things could have been different. Edmund could have been saved.'
Check out the full interview below.
Luke James Talks Ditching Sex Symbol Status For "Them: The Scare", Elijah McClain, & Morewww.youtube.com
Featured image by Getty Images