Sean 'Diddy' Combs is known for many things. He's a mogul, a rapper, super-producer, and influencer. He's a liquor connoisseur, dancer, and an extremely present father. You can call him Puff, P. Diddy, or a multitide of other names that he has accumulated throughout his fame, which he affectionately refers to as eras.
But for now, the man with all the plans, wants you to call him Love.
GiphyHe originally announced the news on social media back in May, and followed it up with a picture of the driver's license that lists 'Love' as his legal middle name. Since, he has been bringing all the vibes, which listen, I am completely here for. Why? Well, Love is all about spreading his namesake to the people, making right what he may have done in the past, and having a genuine allyship in the fight for the culture. So many with the resources needed to secure the future for the culture, never make their stance known for the benefit of its progression. But there comes a time when power is bigger than what any critic of our movement has to say, and now Love has recognized his power, joining the ranks of LeBron James, Jay-Z, Master P, and many others who selflessly give to the vision. And that's a healing flex that we love to see (yes, this pun was intended).
Love recently sat down for an interview and video with Vanity Fair to discuss his latest era. A few of our favorite moments are below:
On Critics Who Don't Believe The Hype
Former Bad Boy artists such as The LOX, Mase, Day26, and others, have publicly criticized Combs for trapping them in what they felt were unfair deals in the past. There's been no secret that his previous deals with artists have had their fair share of critique. But Love isn't interested in going back and forth on how the music business operates.
"I can't get caught up in that. I know where my heart is at, and you can't just do it alone with just Black people. You got to have all types of allies. And that's one thing I'm good at, I'm good at being a unifier, but I'm not going to be in a room with other tribes that protect themselves and make sure that they straight and not make sure that we straight. But also, I'm not a politician, I'm not trying to be the king or the dictator of somebody. I'm a boy from Harlem that came here to make a change. We all have our story."
His New Plans For An R&B Record Label
To his publicist's surprise, the mogul ultimately discloses that he is getting into the R&B game, starting with his own album, referencing that R&B is where he started and that it's not just for himself, but for the culture.
"I'm coming back into music, you know? Yeah, all R&B label, because I feel like R&B was abandoned and it's a part of our African American culture. And I'm not signing any artists. Because if you know better, you do better. I'm doing 50–50 partnerships with pure transparency. That's the thing. [The new label is so that] we can own the genre; we don't own hip-hop right now. We have a chance to—and I'm going to make sure that—we own R&B."
Okayyyy!
On His Continued Activism, Particularly For Black People
Combs has lived a fruitful life and is fortunate enough to able to sit back and not do anything about what plagues our community. But he refuses to do so, as over the span of his career, he's always found time to fight.
"If you living on this earth and you trying to keep on dealing with this shit, that ain't the way we going to live. And people out there that are tired of it. And it's not just a Black and white thing. You know what I'm saying? It's just tired of the way that it doesn't have to be. Like when they said it was over—when they said in the #MeToo, when it was over, it was over."
He reveals that all of his newfound openness is inspired by the movement and that now he's on a five-year plan to see legitimate changes.
"The #MeToo movement, the truth, is that it inspired me. It showed me that you can get maximum change. I feel like that's one of the biggest missions that will actually shift things. But besides that, we—the world—is different. We have the internet, we have the power, we have a culture, I have us on a five-year plan."
A plan that he specifies for Black people. He continues:
"My people taking time to feel like it's all right to love. Take time to huddle up your tribe, take time to communicate and know your power. Take time to heal. You know what I'm saying, [taking care of] yourself without feeling like, oh, you're going to be labeled a racist now because you talk about taking care of yourself."
On The Infamous J.Lo Post
When it comes to J.Lo, Combs makes it clear: don't expect another Diddy-Lopez romance. He and J.Lo are just friends. In a now-deleted post, he posted the star with the caption, "tbt" a month after her break-up with Alex Rodriguez. But since their breakup, Combs, 51, and Lopez, 52, have remained friendly and even reunited in 2018 at Lopez's All I Have Las Vegas residency show wrap party—as well as at a charity event last year, which Lopez attended with then-fiancé Rodriguez.
"It was just a throwback post from a great time in [my] life. It wasn't no trolling involved, that's just my friend. And I don't have nothing to say about her relationship or her life."
Mmmm-hmm.
On Losing Kim Porter
Personal loss is something that Combs has experienced often within the last few years. The mother of three of his six children, Kim Porter, died in 2018. His mentor and friend Andre Harrell died in 2020. He talks openly about how private losses moved him to reconsider his life's work. Combs describes Porter as the love of his life, and always has. He even reveals that his daughters want him to settle down and get out of these streets.
"And so, you know, I had to start to deal with it when I lost Kim. 'Cause I was like, man, you had it. I'm not saying I would do any of it differently. God willing—I would have had more time," he says, then adds, "I look at my life as I got a second chance. I'm on my second mountain."
Watch the Vanity Fair clip below for more:
Click here to read the full Vanity Fair interview.
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According to a study by The Chronicle of Evidence-Based Mentoring, 40% of kids in the US don’t have a strong relationship with their parents, a statistic that Dr. Williams is working to change.
Dr. Chinwé Williams
Courtesy
“I wrote this new book, which is calledCalm, Courageous and Connected,, a parent's guide to raising emotionally resilient kids, because I wanted to help parents. I wanted to equip them with tools and strategies. Because even though I'm known for working with young people, I work a lot with parents who want resources and want strategies to help their kids,” she tells xoNecole.
“I got a call from a parent the other day. Her child is suicidal. He's a young child. I don't want to say too much, because I don't want to give the details away. I want to keep it as anonymous as possible. But a young child, male, Black male, who was suicidal. He did get into therapy, thank goodness. And he told the therapist, I love my parents. I know my parents love me, but my dad can be really hard on me. He described his dad as kind of authoritative and he said mom hovered. So isn't that interesting?
She adds, “Some parents would be like, that's what we're supposed to be doing, right? And so I think with kids today, we can't use the old tools. We cannot use the strategies that we were raised with.”
Dr. Williams, who is also a mother, explained how the pandemic, social media, and school shootings have increased anxiety and more in kids. So what tools should parents use? She recommends intentional parenting, “understanding who your child is, understanding the environment that they are growing up in right now, not the environment that you grew up in and shielding them from the harm that comes from social media.”
Fizkes/ Shutterstock
When taking steps toward intentional parenting, here’s what parents should remember. “Kids brains are still under construction, and this is important to know, because we want our kids to be strong and emotionally resilient and able to control their emotions. Well, they can't do that,” she explains. “They can't even start to do that until about age eight. And the truth is the frontal lobes, where our executive functioning skills come from and the ability to manage disappointment, setbacks and big emotions really doesn't get fully developed until the mid 20s.”
Another thing for parents to keep in mind is that mistakes happen. “In my field, we talk a lot about relationships, and we know that relationships can sometimes hurt us. People we love, people that are supposed to care for us, will make mistakes, and we call that a rupture,” she says. “When you mess up, you want to repair as quickly as possible. And what does repair look like? It looks like acknowledging you made a mistake because we will lose it on our kids, and we will say things that we don't mean.
“We will do things, I even raise my voice with mine. Try really hard not to, but if I'm tired from a long client day, if I've been traveling, if I'm hungry, and I've said it three times. I make mistakes, but I always go back and say, you doing, okay? I'm so sorry. I was tired and I did not say it the way that I wanted to say it. I raised my voice.”
Lastly, she adds, “It is a good thing for parents to not deny or minimize when they’ve said something that they didn’t mean or did something they didn’t want to do. Be honest and really acknowledge how it has impacted your child.”
For more information about Dr. Chinwé Williams, visit her website.
*Edited for clarity
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