It's no secret that starting your day with gratitude is an essential tool for unlocking happiness and abundance in your life. No matter what season of life you are in, there’s always something you can jot down to be grateful for and in most cases, only takes a few minutes of your day to do.
Writing in a gratitude journal allows you to keep track of an ever-growing list of all the things that you’re thankful for and even sets your mind up to receive things you haven’t gotten yet. From the time you wake up, or go to sleep, the moments, people, and connections that make your day worthwhile are all worth documenting. In doing so, you train your brain into putting the focus on positivity and redirect you from sinking into a rut or bad mood.
Studies show that our brain is wired to fixate on negativity bias, meaning, instead of noticing the good, we tend to pick up on the bad first. That’s just a way our brain tries to protect us and recognize potential threats, but it also means that it takes a little bit more effort to place the focus back on the beauty in our life. And that’s where gratitude journaling comes in.
To assist in getting your brain on the right side of positivity, we’ve compiled a list of reasons you can benefit from keeping a gratitude journal and how it can open up a world of abundance in your life.
Improve Your Positive Emotions:
Writing down things you are grateful for can enhance positive emotions such as happiness, contentment, and joy. By focusing on what you have rather than what you lack, you can cultivate a more positive outlook on life. Studies have shown a link between writing down notes of gratitude to more optimism and an overall better feeling about life. In other words, you may just be a page away from an instant mood boost.
Intelligent Change, The Five Minute Journal: A Happier You in 5 Minutes a Day, $29.00
Stress, Be Gone:
Focusing on the positive aspects of your life can help reduce stress and anxiety. By taking a few minutes each day to reflect on what you are grateful for, you can cultivate a sense of calm and peace. Research suggests that implementing a regular practice of gratitude into your day can have positive effects on the body inside and out. When we worry, it can put unwanted stress on our hearts (physically), so learning how to cope with the pressures of life as it comes—because some days aren’t perfect—can help you level and be steady when the waves come.
Your Mental Health Will Thank You:
Studies have shown that practicing gratitude can improve mental health and reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety. Keeping a gratitude journal can be a helpful tool in managing your mental health, adding that studies have even shown that “people who consciously count their blessings tend to be happier and less depressed.” While the act of writing down three things you’re grateful for or sending yourself a voice memo of a moment that made you smile during your day can give you a fresh perspective on your circumstance and serve as a reminder that even the darkest of days get brighter.
Happy Journal, Happy Life: How drawing your day ignites creativity, boosts gratitude, and skyrockets happiness, $14.99
Get a Boost in Self-Esteem:
Reflecting on your achievements, no matter how small, can help boost your self-esteem and confidence. You can build a sense of pride and self-worth by acknowledging what you have accomplished. Keeping promises to yourself, prioritizing your wellness, and implementing acts of self-care, are all fuel to boost your overall self-image, so don’t forget to make a note of it as you show up for yourself.
Improve Relationships:
Did you know that how we feel about ourselves can show up in the way we relate to others? When we express gratitude for our partners, friends, and family, it can improve our feelings of connectedness and satisfaction within these dynamics. By acknowledging the good things about the people in your life, you can strengthen your connections and build more meaningful relationships.
An Increased Resilience:
Cultivating a practice of gratitude can increase your resilience and ability to cope with difficult situations. Gratitude acts as a defense against the challenging moments that may come about within your day. When we approach the day with what we can control, it helps us balance our emotions and build up our tolerance to manage uncertainties and setbacks.
Papier, Gratitude Journal, $35.00
Develop Mindfulness:
Gratitude journaling can be a form of mindfulness practice, helping you to be more present in the moment and appreciate the beauty of everyday life. By noticing and savoring the small moments of joy, you can cultivate a deeper, more profound sense of appreciation for life.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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