

When it comes to a job search, we're definitely Team Work Smart Not Hard. And any way you can automate certain aspects of your job search can be beneficial. Not only does it save you time and stress, but it can also lead to better results, especially those related to job post outreach.
We've all seen and read insights about AI and how you can use this to communicate and write better, and cold-emailing is one way you can incorporate AI in order to do so. Here's all you need to know about this and the scripts you can try out in order to land the job you want:
What Is Cold Emailing?
A cold email is something sent to someone you do not know or have no previous real-life connection with. It was traditionally used in sales and business to sell a product or spark interest in a product or service, but today, job seekers can use it to find out about new job opportunities, connect with recruiters, managers, or potential employers, or find out more information about an open role.
The method can be a hit or miss, since sometimes, cold emails end up in spam or trash, especially when the recipient receives hundreds of emails a month and barely knows you. But in some instances, it can lead to big results, like the time this entrepreneur landed an initial $250,000 in startup funds simply by sending a cold email to a potential investor.
Combined with networking and finding ways to interact with a person that’s not necessarily one-on-one but relevant, cold-emailing could be your ticket to getting at least a toe in the door when you want to apply for a certain job at a particular company, or you want to break into a new industry.
Where To Start With Cold Emailing
1. Humble Yourself.
I actually got my gig at xoNecole via cold email. I had a lot of experience at the time working in mostly newsy journalism, and I saw that xoNecole was taking submissions. Interestingly enough, I'd become familiar with the founder—through a personal online blog she had at the time—years before she'd launched this site. While we both worked in media and entertainment, we did not know one another personally, nor had I ever met or networked with her. It was a bit serendipitous that I'd end up cold-emailing to write for xoNecole.
In that moment, I had to humble myself. Though I'd worked for major publishers and had done a bit of featured writing, I was most known for formal, business-toned Associated Press-style stories, and this site's style was more down-to-earth, conversational, and free-flowing. I sent the email, thinking, "What's the worst that can happen? A rejection? No response?"
Well, five years later, here I am, an associate editor, after starting out as a contributor. I simply shot my shot to the appropriate email address, following the appropriate process detailed on the website, and then once I got a few stories published, I asked if they had any need for editing services.
2. Do Your Research.
As I stated before, I read their website to find out how I could pitch myself and the correct email address to contact for that purpose. You'll have to do the same. Do a bit of online digging and find out, first, if there is a formal process to apply for what you need or to get the information you're looking for.
Sometimes, cold emails end up in the trash because they simply went to the wrong person or the sender did not follow simple directions that are part of an already-established process. For example, if the company's website clearly states that you should contact the HR department at a set email address, it might not be wise to first send a cold email to your potential direct manager. Or, if the company requires a certain format for requests or a word count limit for emails, you might want to know that before sending your 1,000-word synopsis of why you'd be great for a job.
Another big no-no is sending an email to someone who has nothing to do with your end result. This is a common and easy mistake to make.
If your inquiry is about an IT role but you're sending it to the marketing department, again, it's easy to simply disregard it. Professionals have limited time, and some can barely manage emails from people they know, so make it harder for them to ignore you by finding out exactly who you need to be contacting.
fotostorm/Getty
3. Be sure the subject line is concise, relevant, and punchy.
Put yourself in the shoes of the stranger you're emailing. Let's say you want the marketing director position that you saw listed on LinkedIn. Well, think about the first thing they'll see when they open their inbox. What would get their attention? What keywords can you use so that they can bookmark and come back to your email if needed? How can you clearly but quickly note why they should open the email in 7 words or less?
As an editor who manages hundreds of pieces of content, dozens of contributors, and gets countless pitches from people I don't know (and probably will never meet), the subject line can make or break whether I actually even read the email; great pitch or not.
Here are a few great subject lines to tweak and make your own. (And sis, please do not just copy and paste these. Customize with your own voice and savvy):
- Re: Job Title: - Your Name, Current Title (You don't have to list the company here)
- Re: Job Posting Number: Job Title, Your Name
- Re: Job Post Inquiry - Your Name
- Job Title Seeking New Opportunity
Here are a few creative subject lines that might be winners if you have a gift of gab. Be sure they're not too salesy, ingenuine, or cheesy, considering the type of job and the industry you're in:
- [Current Job Title + Current Company] – I'd Love To Work With You
- Job Applicant Referred By [name of referral] for Job Title at Company (Make sure this is true.)
- Here's Why [Your Name] Would Be The Best [Job Title] For Your Company (This is headline-style writing. Take a cue from news stories and commercials and get creative with this one. Again, make sure the tone is appropriate and you have an actual knack for this.)
- 10 Things You Didn't Know About [Your Name], [Job Title that references skill needed for the role that you can actually do] (This is another headline-style subject line. Again, only use this one if you're savvy and it's appropriate.)
- Make a great decision before your 2nd cup of coffee. Hire me (give reason)
- Award-winning [Current Job Title] looking for new opportunities
- [Your Name] – the best addition to your team
You can also use ChatGPT for this. Simply use an online platform or an app, type in a prompt or other context around what you want to communicate, and allow AI to do the work. Again, you'll still need to customize this for your own voice and tone, and be sure to proofread it as well.
Tech should complement human intelligence and skill, not replace it, and trust me; people will know when something has been pre-written or scripted and is not authentically you.
What To Include In A Cold Email
There are several key approaches, but they all have a few things in common. First, you want to be sure to get to the point early in your email (i.e., in the first or second sentence), introducing yourself, your skills, and what you need (i.e., applying for the job, requesting a 5-minute virtual meeting, more information about the role, etc).
Be direct and lean heavily into using specific keywords (those major terms about the job, company, or industry that were included in the job post or company's website). Master saying more with fewer words. Address the person by name, but if you don't know it, start with a general "Good morning," or "Good day."
Second, the email should be no more than two to three short paragraphs (maybe four to six sentences each). If they want more information, they will ask for it in a follow-up email. Give them just enough to intrigue or spark interest and make sure, again, that the information is super-relevant to your end goal and in consideration of their time. Here's a good starting point for your opening paragraph:
Good Day,
I am [name], an award-winning [title] who has a passion for [thing one, thing two, and thing three], which is why I'd be a great fit for the [job opening/position]. I have worked in [industry] doing [specific value add 1, value add 2, value add 3] for [time period], and I want to bring those skills to your company.
Reference something you read about the company or that person that inspired you to want to work there or mention a problem that you'd like to have a hand in solving. Try this:
I recently read this article where you spoke about [3-4 words describing what was intriguing] and thought this is a leader I'd love the chance to work with.
I've been following the news of your company's public offering and would like to be part of its new strategy to [fill in the blanks here].
I met you at the Leaders of Tomorrow gala, and you follow a cause that's dear to my heart as well: youth leadership and mentorship.
Long emails about your experience, why you're the best at the job, etc., might get it tossed. People often graze emails and skim because, again, time is limited.
Third, add in key, short bullet points elaborating on your relevant experience, interests, links to your work, or other applicable aspects of your talent and experience that make you competitive in your industry. If you've recently led a campaign, send a link to the actual visual outcome. If you have a professional website, include the link to that. If you've earned awards, mention them.
Again, keep the bullet points short and sweet. Stay away from vague words like "worked on" versus "led the team," or "helped advance," versus "oversaw a $1 million growth in sales." For example:
This year, I:
- Led strategic teams for a 30% increase in sales year over year
- Landed a spot on the "Top 30 Under 30 In Sales" To Watch" list for the National Association of Sales Professionals
- Completed three [list certifications or other educational background insights that were recently upgraded or obtained.)
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And don't forget to list your full name, email address, and the best way to contact you at the bottom of the page. You can attach your resume as well, but be sure this is part of their formal process. Sometimes, your LinkedIn information can suffice, and you won't be sending them large file attachments (which some people really don't like.)
Once you're done with the email, create a template so that you can simply plug the copy in when you're sending multiple emails to different people. (You can also simply save the copy as a Word or Google document and copy and paste when needed.) Avoid bcc'ing or blinding sending mass emails. It's not a good look, and you can easily embarrass yourself by referencing the wrong person, job, or company.
Be strategic by sitting down and listing companies, key people, and your "why" for each. This way, you can narrow things down so that you're not wildly overextending yourself in the process. Set a time/date for doing this, and pace yourself.
Cold-emailing should be part of a larger strategy that includes actual networking, volunteering, socializing, researching, enhancing your skills, and doing quality work in the meantime. Remember, this is simply something to add to your arsenal to put you that much closer to getting the gig.
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'Sistas' Star Skyh Black On The Power Of Hypnotherapy & Emotional Vulnerability For Men
In this insightful episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Sistas star Skyh Black, as he opened up about his journey of emotional growth, resilience, and self-discovery. The episode touches on emotional availability, self-worth, masculinity, and the importance of therapy in overcoming personal struggles.
Skyh Black on Emotional Availability & Love
On Emotional Availability & Vulnerability
“My wife and I wouldn't be where we are today if both of us weren't emotionally available,” he shared about his wife and Sistas co-star KJ Smith, highlighting the value of vulnerability and emotional openness in a relationship. His approach to masculinity stands in contrast to the traditional, stoic ideals. Skyh is not afraid to embrace softness as part of his emotional expression.
On Overcoming Self-Doubt & Worthiness Issues
Skyh reflected on the self-doubt and worthiness issues that he struggled with, especially early in his career. He opens up about his time in Los Angeles, living what he calls the “LA struggle story”—in a one-bedroom with three roommates—and being homeless three times over the span of 16 years. “I always had this self-sabotaging thought process,” Skyh said. “For me, I feel therapy is essential, period. I have a regular therapist and I go to a hypnotherapist.”
How Therapy Helped Him Heal From Self-Doubt
On Hypnotherapy & Empowering Self-Acceptance
Skyh’s journey is a testament to the power of tapping into self-development despite life’s struggles and being open to growth. “I had to submit to the fact that God was doing good in my life, and that I'm worthy of it. I had a worthiness issue and I did not realize that. So, that’s what the hypnotherapy did. It brought me back to the core. What is wrong so that I can fix it?”
Watch the full podcast episode below:
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Women Are (Still) Spelling 'Coconut' With Their Hips. And Guys Are Losing Their Damn Minds.
While prepping for a podcast interview a while back, because I received the questions beforehand, I did a bit of research into one of the inquiries: what are men’s current favorite sex positions? I doubt any of you are shocked by the fact that what continued to pop up (like here, here, and here) was doggy style and the cowgirl position (i.e., when a woman is on top).
When it comes to ridin’, specifically, that got me to thinking about something that was all over the internet a few years ago: women who were advising that you spell “coconut” with your hips, during sex, in order for you and your partner to receive maximum pleasure and satisfaction.
When I asked a few women I know if they ever tried that before, I was surprised to discover that not only had they, but many didn’t treat it as some random social media fad — they actually still do it to this day. Partly, because it’s fun to them and partly because their partner(s) seem to go crazy for it.
Listen, any time something sexual works like a charm, I’m going to shout it out — (late) trend or not. And so, if you’ve never heard of the whole coconut thing, you tried it and forgot all about it, or you just want to try something new/different/else tonight — here’s a reminder, in article form, that coconut-ting is still alive and well, y’all. And the men are all about it!
But First, The Grapefruit Technique
Video Credit: Myem/YouTube (Funny part starts at 2:40)
If this woman is not familiar to you on sight, you ain’t a real one. LOL. Although I know that a lot of people think that the concept of grapefruiting came from the movie Girls Trip (you can see the clip from the film here) that absolutely is not the case. Auntie Angel (whose real name is reportedly Denise Walker) is the creator of the Grapefruit Technique and although I thought that this video came out way earlier, apparently it made its way onto the YouTube streets sometime back in 2014.
If for some reason, you’re not familiar with grapefruiting on any level, I will tell you right now that I had to download this video because it is absolutely NSFW — so you should probably watch it on your lunch break (on your phone with the volume as low as possible) or at home…because chile, the sound effects? Whew, the sound effects. LOL. However, when I sat down to pen this piece, I thought it was hilarious that this video is what immediately came to mind because it seems like, when it comes to “blow his mind sex hacks,” fruit is constantly on the menu.
When it comes to oral sex, it’s grapefruit.
When it comes to ride ‘em cowgirl, it’s a coconut.
What Is the “Coconut” Sex Trend?
@windy_moraba #duet with @mysteri0us.gir1 spell coconut with your waist 😂😂😂
Okay, so what in the world does a coconut have to do with intercourse? Well, for starters, if you and your partner are looking for an all-natural lubricant, coconut oil works well. HOWEVER, do keep in mind that the disclaimer on this is you shouldn’t use it if condoms are in the mix because they can actually cause rubbers to be less effective (silicone lube is a solid bet for condoms, by the way).
There is another way that coconuts are kinda-sorta incorporated when it comes to making sex more pleasurable — and it actually became pretty popular right after COVID lockdown (2021): spelling C-O-C-O-N-U-T with your hips while you’re on top of your partner.
It’s wild how I forgot all about this until a client of mine was telling me how much her husband liked her on top while it wasn’t her favorite thing to do because it felt awkward to her. When I said, “Have you ever heard of spelling ‘coconut’ with your hips before?” — at first, she looked at me like I was crazy and then she busted out laughing: “Girl, no” was her reply.
Hmph. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it because, as wild as it might sound on the surface, the word isn’t the point so much as the movements that come with spelling it out are.
When you’re moving your pelvis around to make a “c,” “o” or U-turn, not only does it intensify the level of sensation that both you and your partner feel during intercourse, it can also increase the level of blood circulation to both of your genitalia which can make your orgasms more satisfying too.
At the end of the day, spelling “coconut” is simply reminding you that there are more options to riding than simply sitting there while your partner pumps for all he’s worth or you humping up and down like you’re on a pogo stick.
Spelling “coconut” is an easy hack to bring some variety into cowgirling. However…
Honestly, the “Fruit” Isn’t the Point. THIS IS.
From grapefruiting and spelling “coconut” to reading articles that I’ve penned for the platform like “How To Improve The Taste Of Sperm” — fruit and sex are always going to be a winning combination, one way or another. However, the main point of this article isn’t about making sure that you are a master speller so much as providing you with tips that will make the cowgirl position something that you are confident about and you find a ton of fulfillment in doing.
You can make both of these things happen by incorporating the following things:
Stretch beforehand. A charley horse during sex is the worst thing ever — and chile, don’t let it be right before you’re about to climax. SMDH. Yeah, if you want to feel more comfortable when you’re on top, make sure that you stretch beforehand and that you are well-hydrated. That will reduce the chances of experiencing a totally-out-of-nowhere muscle spasm — whether you decide to “spell” during sex or…not.
Bring pillows into the mix. Sometimes riding is a challenge because your partner feels farther away from your body than you would like. Putting a pillow underneath him can help to elevate his pelvis, so that you don’t feel like you’re stretching and straining. Speaking of pillows, a longer one can really come in handy because it can give your knees some additional support as well.
Also, ask him to put his knees up. Speaking of making the “grind” easier for you, ask your partner to put his knees up. That way, your back can recline on his legs as you’re moving your hips around. You’d be amazed how much this one hack can do for you. Straight up.
Add lube. When you get a chance, check out “The Wetter, The Better: 10 Creative Ways To Use Lubricant” and you will automatically see why bringing lubrication into a cowgirl session is an absolute must. It reduces friction. It makes your movements glide with ease. And it’s just more fun. Promise you that.
Lean in. If your partner happens to be on the larger side of life, one way that you can control his depth is by leaning forward into him. That way, your hips can better control how much or little he is inside of you, so that you can get into a position that gives you the sensation that you are looking for.
Get him to multitask. Again, whether you are spelling “coconut” or not and whether you are riding cowgirl or reverse cowgirl — something that is awesome about being on top is it frees your partner’s hands to do, umm, other things. And since it is so much easier to have an orgasm while your clitoris is being stimulated, get your partner to put some of the lube that we discussed earlier on his fingertips, so that he can gently rub on your clitoris while you are riding him. It doesn’t get much better than that!
Don’t wanna spell? Hula Hoop then. What if you try the whole coconut thing and it’s not a favorite for you (or him)? No problem — when’s the last time that you hula hooped? Pretend that you have one of those around your hips and move around that way. I’d be shocked if you ended up feeling “meh” about that option.
5 Guys Tell Me What They Love When Their Partner Is on Top
A part of the reason why I am “team cowgirl” is because it provides a lot of benefits to the woman: she has more control, it tends to be more comfortable for her, it’s a great position for a quickie and the orgasms tend to be that much more — wonderful. However, as I was thinking about spelling coconut, in general, I couldn’t help but wonder what guys thought about it and the cowgirl position overall.
If you’re curious, here’s what five of ‘em said.
1. Braxford. Engaged. 35. “Y’all be spelling up there? Who knew? My favorite thing about when my fiancée is on top is what I think every man likes: the view. It’s a chance to see her entire body and experience it at the same time. Not even doggy style accomplishes that. Damn, where’s my lady at?”
2. Denez. Single. 42. “Do you know how many ‘spots’ you have access to when y’all are on top? Breasts are in my mouth. Hickeys are on her neck. Prop my head up on a pillow and her tummy is getting licked. When a woman is riding you, it’s sensory overload! It’s crazy how each one looks amazing in that position too.”
3. Omar. In a Serious Relationship. 29. “[He said her name yet I’m not going to share it] isn’t a very vocal lover. Her body and technique are insane, so even though I love dirty talk, I’ve learned to compromise — except when she’s on top. She’s not saying much but those moans? And yeah, we tried the coconut thing. ‘Cs’ and ‘Os,’ hell yeah. ‘Ns’ and “Ts’? Nah.”
4. Nolen. Single. 45. “45 isn’t old but it’s old enough for your back to show out on you when you least expect it. My experience has been that women don’t want a lot of thrusting when they are on top, so it’s like having some of the best sex without having to do much at all. Well, aside from trying not to bust too quickly. I take that back: riding is easy on the body; it’s work on the brain.”
5. Ivan. Married. 37. “I like the spelling sh-t because it switches things up. We make a game out of it by her picking a word and spelling out while I try and guess what it is. We also try to see how many words that we can get to before one of us cums. 12 words is pushing it unless it’s like ‘dog’ or ‘cat’ or something. I’ve guessed ‘coconut’ a few times and I get what the excitement is all about. Spelling bee sex: try it.”
Yep. I concur.
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