Nowadays, everything might seem a bit uncertain, and whether you're super-employed, self-employed, or underemployed, the stress factor is real. COVID-19 has changed how we live our lives, and with that change, many of us have had to roll with the punches, do some serious soul-searching, and even reconsider our next boss move.
One thing's for sure in hard economic times: Having a job you're great at---one you love---can be your saving grace. One enterprising professional who can attest to that is Erika Pope, global brand manager for House of Cheatham, the parent company of popular haircare lines including Aunt Jackie's Coils and Curls, Argan Smooth, Texture My Way, and Aunt Jackie's Kids.
"I love this space. It's so fun. I really like that it's not just about a product or the glitz and glam. It's honestly the opportunity to work in the community with women and make them feel good about themselves," Pope said in an xoNecole interview.
Image by Stephon X Photography
"I love this space. It's so fun. I really like that it's not just about a product or the glitz and glam. It's honestly the opportunity to work in the community with women and make them feel good about themselves."
Her path to beauty brand management wasn't a straight one, but the journey helped her learn more about her passions, her capabilities, and her strengths. In 2008, Pope found herself in unfamiliar waters at Michigan State University. She was the first in her immediate family to attend a large school away from home.
"I knew I had a creative and artistic mind, so I started off wanting to do fashion design. I got into the program and realized how much I hated sewing," Pope recalled. "I ended up in a retail merchandising program and studied a dual degree in art. When I finished college, I left [for] Chicago, and like most young adults leaving college, I still had no idea of what I'd be doing."
With few prospects, Pope said, she did odd jobs and then stumbled upon an opportunity to work in digital media. "That was my introduction into social media and marketing, and I loved it." Pope then went on to work as a buyer for TJX Companies (think TJ Maxx, Marshalls and HomeGoods) through an opportunity via LinkedIn. "I went through their training program, and it's globally regarded. It's extremely hard to finish. They [accepted] about 200 of us and by the end, there were only about 40 people that they actually hired on full-time," she said. "I was selected to help launch and curate TJMaxx.com---part of the team that built and created the e-commerce platform that they have today. It put a lot in perspective for me because I knew from there on out, I always wanted to work with brands."
Pope would continue to work as a buyer for several years before eventually starting her own consultancy, Pope Solutions. "It's a full marketing services agency, and [we've done] some consulting for different brands."
Image by Stephon X Photography
She's a huge advocate of the power of LinkedIn, especially for finding new opportunities---or positioning yourself for them to find you. Her current boss, she said, found her on the platform and hired her to consult before she landed the full-time position she's loving today. "It's the Instagram of the business space. I've been obsessed with it since college. Some of my friends would make fun of me for being so heavily interested in LinkedIn, [saying], 'Oh, that's where all the old people are.' But I'd say that's where you can connect [with people offering] the jobs that you want, so it's important."
With more business owners and CEOs at home and online, Pope says it's a good idea to leverage the platform, especially when reevaluating your career path or trying to connect with leaders in your industry.
"I think of LinkedIn [as] a road map. You can look up roles you want, find people in those roles, look at the roles they had prior to getting where they are, and find out what skills they gained along the way. There's not just one way to do anything."
For Pope, COVID-19 isn't a time to shut down the enthusiasm for work that you love, but a time to elevate the passion and find the balance needed to be your best self for your job or even the job you want. As a wife and manager, she finds it important to be her best self, and in order to do that, she carves out alone time to meditate, stretch, and exercise on her Peloton bike. "I can imagine I'm in Paris or traveling abroad. I've realized that nothing is going to work out if I'm not [well]. I'm responsible for all these different aspects of this brand along with my personal brand, so if I'm not centered, nothing else is going to be right."
She's also found that this time as an opportunity to connect more deeply with the consumer base she serves and a challenge to get creative. "We've adjusted our focus in how we engage with people, and we are putting a lot more energy into building out digital campaigns," she explained. "We [Aunt Jackie's Curls & Coils] just recently partnered with xoNecole and did their first digital Pajamas and Lipstick event. It's just [about] becoming more creative and figuring out how to stay top-of-mind. I try to put our consumers first. Knowing that we're in such a different time, people's mental health is really important, and I don't want to feel like we're being insensitive to the things that are happening---being salesy and just pushing products. One of the things about my personal platform is [that it's] all about women's empowerment. It's a win-win for me to work with consumers---women specifically---all over the globe, just making them feel good about themselves. [I enjoy] standing behind a product I actually believe in and use myself."
For more of Erika, follow her on Instagram.
Featured image by Stephon X Photography
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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“I mean, even the Bible mentions a green bed in the Song of Solomon.”
And indeed, it does. Song of Solomon 1:16 (NKJV), the Black woman (Song of Solomon 1:5) known as the Shulamite said, “Behold, you are handsome, my beloved! Yes, pleasant! Also, our bed is green.” I absolutely adore that because I know what green symbolizes. It represents things like health, fertility, rebirth, growth, and peace, and for a woman to say that the bed that she shares with her lover is filled with all of those things…I mean, how awesome is that?
It's also a great way to intro the topic for today — color psychology. Not just that, but how you actually can use it to make your sex life better. If your curiosity is piqued, read on to find out how you can use certain hues to cultivate a sexier atmosphere in your own life.
Color Psychology. Revisited.
GiphyOkay, so sincepsychology is the study of the mind and how humans behave because of it,color psychology is about how our minds respond and react to various hues. Although some people are somewhat unconvinced that color psychology is a “real thing,” there is enough research and data that’s available to support its validity.
For instance, one of the reasons why high-end hotels go with white sheets for their bedding is because white represents things like purity, cleanliness, and even luxury. One reason why many of us wear black to funerals is because black symbolizes things like formality and death. If whenever you go to a spa, you notice a lot of blue, that could be because that color is all about peace, tranquility, and trust.
Although the science behind color psychology is semi-complex, the main reason why color has the ability to affect us in the way that it does is because of the way that our eyes and brain interact with certain lights and wavelengths. In other words, each color causes our brains to either absorb light or reflect it, and based on what our brain does in response to all of this, that has a direct impact on our moods.
For example, when we process something as being the color yellow, it can provide us with a surge of energy, while if we process something as being red, it can literally increase our heart rate and adrenaline levels. And this is why you may notice classrooms that are painted yellow or why you may have noticed that red is considered to be a sexually stimulating hue.
Speaking of red, this would be a good of a time as any to segue into why it and certain other colors have the ability to influence and even improve your sex life.
Colors That Work As an “Aphrodisiac”
GiphyWhen it comes to certain colors having an aphrodisiac effect, since I just mentioned red, let’s start with it.
If you were to poll a group of people about a color that they would consider to be the absolute sexiest, there’s a pretty good chance that red would top the list. That’s because it is associated with things like love, passion, energy, excitement, and desire.
In fact, one study revealed that men find red to be the sexiest color to the point where almost 60 percent of them were more inclined to ask a woman out if she happened to have that color on. Not only that, but if women were standing in front of a red backdrop, most of the men in the study automatically found them to be more attractive.
Something else that’s interesting about the color red is “…it's not just men, but women, too, who see women who dress in red as more overtly sexual and open to having sex.” So clearly, if you want to be seen in a sensual way, wearing red (even if it’s just red lipstick) is something that you should consider doing.
Is red the only sexually stimulating hue out here, though? Nope. Aside from green, which I mentioned in the intro:
- Orange represents creativity and enthusiasm
- Purple represents luxury and spirituality
- Black represents mystery and elegance
- Pink represents femininity and playfulness
- Brown represents warmth and comfort
While keeping all of this in mind, now that you know that even science backs that color can mentally and emotionally affect you, when it comes to your sex life, it’s important to select shades that will influence the vibe that you want to give in order to receive the results that you want. For instance, do you want a passionate night? You might want to go with red.
On the other hand, if you’d like to experience a little of what I call “comfort sex” (check out “What Is 'Comfy Sex'? How Can You Get More Of It?”), you might want to bring some brown into the picture. Interesting how each shade can bring about something different, right?
How to Use Color to Improve the Quality of Your Sex Life
GiphyOkay, sonow that you know that there is some straight-up legitimacy that comes with incorporating color into, not just your life, but your bedroom (activities) as well, let’s briefly explore a few practical ways that you can do just that.
Sleepwear. Sometimes, the topic of lingerie comes up with my clients (check out “Lingerie Hacks: How To Choose The Best Kind For Your Body Type”). When it does, I will recommend that the wife wear something that is in her husband’s favorite color — because if she’s already in something that’s hella sexy, if it’s also in a color that he really likes, that can cause his eyes to light up all the more!
However, when it comes to color psychology, specifically, if you want to get your partner to try something new, maybe an orange teddy will subconsciously convey the message. Bottom line here, try wearing something in the color that represents the kind of night you want to have — and see if it helps to push things into that direction.
Bedding.A firm mattress. Some breathable bedding (like cotton or sateen). Scented sheets. All of this can play a seductive role in having a great night with your bae — and so can selecting sheets that are of a particular color. For this one, you might want to go with a darker hue like purple or even charcoal because they both can make you feel extravagant — and since one definition of that word is “going beyond bounds” — well…I’ll leave that to your imagination. #wink
Lighting. This one just might surprise you. Although you might automatically think that going with something like a red light bulb is the best route to take on the “set the mood” lighting tip, you actually should opt for brown instead. I actuallyread an article that said in a lot of sex scenes from popular movies (like Fifty Shades of Grey), brown was used because it’s a very inviting color. Hmph, when you think about the warm'n'cozy thing, that definitely tracks.
Footwear. When you get a chance, check out TIME’s “Science Proves It: Men Really Do Find High Heels Sexier.” When I shared it with a few “feet men” that I know and asked them if this also applies to sex, each of them said that they are super turned on by women who wear stilettos in the bedroom. I was told that they like it because it makes their legs look longer, it’s unbelievably feminine, and if it’s even erotic. The best color to go with? Black is a classic choice — and since it also symbolizes things like power and authority, if you want to be a bit dominant tonight, a black pump will certainly help to get the message across.
Lipstick. And yes, the lips. A little over a year ago, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “The Secret To The Ultimate Oral Sex Experience? Lip Gloss.” When you get a chance, check it out and then think about applying a coat of it to some red or pink lips. It will make your lips look unbelievably sensual and will be sure to ramp up his desire for you…even more.
____
When it comes to having a truly fulfilling sex life, it doesn’t always take a lot of effort. Sometimes, just the change of color can make it happen. At least, that’s what science says.
Try a new color — then report back about which one worked best for you.
I can’t wait to hear it. #wink
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Featured image by Giphy