How Designer Carmen Alexandra Protects Her Peace by Being Selfish With Her Time
In xoNecole's Mother/Hustler series, we sit down with influential mom bosses who open up about the ups and downs of motherhood, as well as how they kill it in their respective industries, all while keeping their sanity and being intentional about self-care.
Have you ever wondered how much of your life is actually about you? From the kids to your job, to your man, to the bills––can you actually say that you spent more than five minutes of your day investing in your damn self? While being self-centered is frowned upon, fashion designer and owner of She. The Collection, Carmen Alexandra wants you to know how important it is for you to designate time every day to center yourself, sis.
Anyone who's ever started a business knows that these entrepreneurial streets ain't easy, but Carmen refuses to let burnout get the upper hand. The blogger knows that you can't pour from an empty cup and says the key to manifesting the overflow you've been looking for is being selfish about your self-care. "You have to put yourself first. You can't take care of them if you can't take care of you," Carmen told xoNecole in an exclusive interview. "The person you were before you became a mother still matters and still deserves her selfish times."
"You have to put yourself first. You can't take care of them if you can't take care of you. The person you were before you became a mother still matters and still deserves her selfish times."
To Carmen, one of the most important lessons she wants to teach her daughter is the power of peace, and she can only do that through action. She explained, "I want my kids to be in tune with their peace, to know that they are in control of their peace of mind. I want them to be able to identify things that disrupt it so they can work through it."
We sat down with this smooth mother/hustler, who spilled all the details on focusing on self-care and securing the bag at the same damn time.
How do you handle moments when you feel overwhelmed?
Deep breaths and short meditations keep me sane! I also make lists to help me prioritize and work more efficiently.
What’s the hardest part of your day?
The hardest part of my day is from 4 to 5 pm when I'm trying to ship and make it to the post office. It seems like so many mistakes and errors happen within the hour.
How do you practice self-care?
I take myself to dinner and a movie every Tuesday, and I tell myself plenty of positive affirmations daily.
When do you feel most productive?
I feel most productive Monday through Wednesday when my daughter is with her dad.
What is your favorite way to spend “me time”?
Home alone, looking crazy---a little medicated, a little tipsy---dancing around my apartment to my favorite songs.
Why was it important to you to be an entrepreneur even though some people may think that a 9 to 5 offers more stability?
There's so much beauty in being able to create. I get to make clothes for people around the world, and the clothes make them look and feel good. I get to work with brands that are diverse and make amazing products. A 9 to 5 never fulfilled me.
How has being a mother helped you become a better entrepreneur (or vice versa)?
Being a mother has taught me balance. I've learned to work productively so I can sit down and enjoy moments and share my creativity with my daughter.
What is the biggest challenge you’ve faced as a mom who runs a business?
My biggest challenge was my postpartum body and regaining my confidence. I felt after giving birth I would be able to jump back into my old clothes the same way.
What advice do you have for moms who are looking to start their business but haven’t taken a step out on faith yet?
What are you waiting for girl? The time is now! Take that leap of faith and don't give up. Be consistent and push yourself the way you would push your kid(s) or your best friend.
Do you think it’s important to keep your personal and professional life separate? Why or why not?
I think it's important to be honest about life because it's not as pretty as it is on social media. It's important to balance it. I may tell my followers that co-parenting is hard but I will never dog my daughter's father out because I'm upset that we miscommunicated over something.
As a mogul mommy, what advice do you have about time management?
Write! Make to-do lists with timeframes. It feels amazing scratching things off of that list. And sometimes there are things that need to be moved up, switched to tomorrow, or things that are too time-consuming, which allows you to see that you may need to hire someone to help you.
What tips do you have for financial planning, both professionally and for your family?
Spending diaries will really show you where your money goes and how you can spend and save more efficiently.
For more Carmen, follow her on Instagram at @caxshe!
Featured image by Instagram/@CarmenAlexandra.
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
Yung Miami Opens Up About Personal And Career Struggles: 'I Lost Myself'
Caresha Brownlee, aka Yung Miami, is getting vocal about recent struggles in her personal life and career. Yung Miami rose to fame in 2018 as one-half of the City Girls.
Together with JT, they released party anthems like "Act Up" and became a symbol of women's empowerment. However, after four albums, the duo decided to split, and many people have speculated about the behind-the-scenes drama between the former bandmates.
Both have admitted to the drama and say they are focusing on their separate projects. JT just released her album, City Cinderella, and Miami revealed that she is working on new music. But during her recent episode of "Caresha Please," which she co-hosted with Saucy Santana, the mom of two shared that she is struggling to find herself again after constantly being hit with negative comments about herself from people online.
Yung Miami (L) and JT (R)
Photo by Roy Rochlin/Getty Images
"You know what it is, Santana, I feel like I lost my personality," she started. "The reason why I lost my personality is because everything is so literally now. Like we can just be at the pool talking something, and the next day, you wake up, and it's a headline and it just goes so deep."
She continued, "It just feels like I lost myself because normally, you know, I used to be on (Instagram) Live all day, Santana. We'll be riding around and call Juicy Crab anywhere we on Live.
"Now, I'm scared to pop up my Live. That's like the other day, we at the pool, I'm like Santana I'mma turn off my Live 'cause I feel like people build you up to break you down."
Aside from the music, Miami became known for her big personality. She and best friend Santana would often get on Instagram Live together and joke on each other and share funny stories, which went viral from time to time. However, she feels that what helped her appeal to a broader audience is now one of the negative criticisms she receives.
"So the reason why people fell in love with me, now it's just like, oh you so ignorant, you so this, and I just feel like I don't have a personality no more, and it just really hurts," she admitted.
The "Rap Freaks" artist also talked about her relationship with Diddy and finally broke her silence about the abuse allegations made against him. While Miami said she has experienced abuse in previous relationships, that was not her experience with the Bad Boy founder.
Diddy and Yung Miami in September 2023
Photo by Shareif Ziyadat/Getty Images
“I can’t speak on something that wasn’t my experience and I can’t speak on something that I don’t know,” she said after people condemned her for being silent. “I can’t speak on these allegations because I wasn’t around at the time.”
She continued, “I met Diddy when the world was celebrating him and giving him his flowers while he was still alive,” she said. “So I was celebrating him with the world and I just feel like everybody is crucifying me for it.”
In November 2023, singer Cassie Ventura sued Diddy and accused him of rape, domestic abuse and other heinous acts. They quickly settled the next day, and months later, a video came out showing the rapper chasing down the "Long Way 2 Go" singer and physically abusing her.
Miami admitted that their relationship was mutually beneficial and that they did fall in love, but she is against domestic violence, and they ultimately separated.
The 30 year-old, however, was able to take what she learned from the disgraced mogul and apply it to her businesses and her career going forward.
"I think that when you get around people, you see certain things. You should be able to learn from somebody and I felt like I was able to see how should my business be operating," she said.
"I should have a chief of staff, I should have a business manager, I should have all these things in place and that's what I was learning. I took that more of like a learning experience as far as tryna become a mogul. That's why I'm like, I'm a mogul. I'm a businesswoman. I'm not just a rapper like I'm bigger than rap."
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Feature image by Aaron J. Thornton/Getty Images