Meeting Us Where We Are: The Black Women Holding Space For Healing, One Session At A Time

This World Mental Health Day, we’re paying homage to the Black women who are carving out the safe spaces that we need the most - the safe space that is therapy.
In recent years, we’ve seen an upswing in not only the conversation and normalization of therapy, but we now have Black women openly sharing online the importance of discussing our mental health and allowing for therapy to be a tool that is just as important to our wellness routines as drinking water and getting daily exercise.
Black women are acknowledging that healing is our priority and we’re taking self-care a step further with not just moments of solitude in bubble baths, but creating sustainable wellness routines that center therapy to improve the quality of our lives and to heal from the trauma that many of us have carried with us our entire lives.
With therapists and online communities for Black women like The Loveland Foundation, Therapy For Black Girls, Transparent Black Girl, Heal Sis, Black Girls Smile, Sad Girls Club, A Safe Space Mentor, and more, alongside millions of Black women worldwide, we’re healing and growing together.
As Black women and the Black community as a whole prioritize therapy, the conversation of not just therapy but the type of therapy that we need specifically for us has become more important.
In honor of World Mental Health Day, xoNecole is discussing cultural competence and how the following mental health professionals center the unique needs of Black women within their work across the country.
Amari Denise - Chicago, IL and Houston, TX
"Mental wellness is uniting and reuniting Black families. Black women’s willingness to be the curse breakers has ignited a shift in how Black people view mental health. There is no education that can replace sitting across from someone who sees you and understands you culturally. Being a Black therapist means tailoring our services to meet the needs of the culture to help heal the masses."
Price Point: "Our average per-cost session is $150. We do provide slicing scales also based on income!"
Ryanne Smith - Vancouver, WA
"As a Black woman and therapist, my biggest motivator in serving the perinatal mental health community is recognition of our inherited trauma as Black birthing people and implications of societal expectations of navigating difficult seasons without wavering, meaning I speak to my patients with the understanding that it’s actually not okay to be okay and we are allowed to be unwell, and it doesn’t make us less."
Price Point: "Because I started a nonprofit to sponsor patient care, my providers are offering below-market prices to cover administrative expenses. While private pay therapy clients often pay $110-$150 depending on the provider, most of our providers are doing pro bono, or our organization pays based on a sponsorship program."
"Black women are consistently underdiagnosed, unheard, and unseen in medical spaces. Being a Black therapist also allows me to support my clients beyond their presenting concerns but in the context of their life, including workplace, dating, and family experiences that are unique to the Black experience."
Dr. Shaakira Haywood-Stewart - New York, New York
"My identity as a Black woman shapes the way that I perceive and provide support to my clients. Specifically, it allows me to understand what they are struggling with and enables me to assess for things such as depression, anxiety, and other diagnoses that present themselves differently in Black women. Black women are consistently underdiagnosed, unheard, and unseen in medical spaces. Being a Black therapist also allows me to support my clients beyond their presenting concerns but in the context of their life, including workplace, dating, and family experiences that are unique to the Black experience."
Price Point: "My session fee is $250 per session. I do work with folks who are unable to pay the full fee. For example, I refer them to The Loveland Foundation for therapy vouchers and let folks use those in full to cover the entire session cost. Additionally, if existing clients hit extenuating circumstances, I have them tell me a fee that they are able to pay and we go from there until their circumstances change."
Ashley Dominique - Fredericksburg, VA
"I prioritize cultural competence, asking questions instead of making assumptions, and creating spaces where the individuals I work with feel safe to be their full selves."
Price Point: "Intake Assessment: $150 and Individual Psychotherapy: $125. I use Open Path Collective to offer a sliding scale option."
Janelle Thompson - Jersey City, NJ
"As a Black woman therapist and founder of a group practice, I deeply understand the complexities of identity, lived experience, and intersectionality that Black women face when seeking mental health support. Building a culturally safe practice has always been a priority for me. Our approach is rooted in recognizing the unique challenges Black women navigate—whether it's societal pressures, confronting microaggressions, or simply finding spaces where they can fully unwind and heal.
"At Simply Redefining Wellness & Counseling, I’ve cultivated a team that is not only intentional about bringing their whole selves into their work but also deeply attuned to the needs and boundaries of our clients. We offer more than just professional expertise; we bring personal insight, [and] empathy, and create a space where our clients feel genuinely seen, heard, and understood. Our services are designed to empower Black women in their journey toward healing and strength through individual therapy, couples counseling, family therapy, and support groups."
Price Point: "Our session rates range from $120 to $200 without insurance, with reduced rates of $35 to $100 available through our graduate student interns and provisionally licensed clinicians. To ensure therapy is accessible, each fully licensed clinician takes on at least two pro bono clients annually. For clients with insurance, copays vary from $0 to $75, depending on the plan.
"We are dedicated to making mental health support both accessible and transformative, helping Black women move toward a place of healing, resilience, and empowerment. By creating safe spaces where Black women can unpack, release, and heal, we foster a community that encourages and celebrates their emotional wellness."
Justine Ashlee - Montclair, NJ
"Being a Black woman has made me more intentional about the therapeutic approaches I use. I tried to study the origins a little bit more and make sure that I'm not using a method of therapy or an approach that has an undertone of oppression because research will show you that not every form of therapy is healthy for Black women. I also make sure that the room in itself feels relaxing, like we play music [and] I have snacks.
"Normally therapists are taught to be a bit of a blank slate and keep everything neutral, but I do kind of play with that a little bit because I want the environment to have more of a communal feel, especially as a Black woman who understands that especially when it comes to therapy, you need to be handled with a special kind of care."
Price Point: "My current rate per session is $150."
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This Is How To Keep 'Holiday Season Stress' From Infecting Your Relationship
Hmph. Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like there is something really weird happening in the fall season air (because winter doesn’t officially begin until December 21) that cuddle season is in full swing while break-up season is as well. In fact, did you know that break-ups are so popular during the holiday season that December 11 is deemed Break-Up Day?
The reasons why relationships shift around this time vary; however, I did both roll my eyes and chuckle when I read that a very popular one is because it’s an easy way to get out of getting one’s significant other a Christmas present. SMDH.
Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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Dreaming Of A White Christmas? These 7 Winter Wonderland Destinations Are Perfect For The Holidays
While most people opt for a tropical vacation during the winter months, there are still many people who want to fulfill their winter wonderland fantasies, which are more than likely centered on watching snow by the fireplace while sipping some hot cocoa.
With Thanksgiving vastly approaching and Christmas a little under a month away, there is still time to ditch the traditional Christmas home to visit family or friends.
Whether you’re looking to put a new stamp on your passport and keep things domestic with a destination in the States, xoNecole has you covered with a few hotspots for those itching to go somewhere cold (but with cozy vibes) this holiday season.
Aspen, Colorado
Our Christmas queen, Mariah Carey, has been taking an annual trip to this snowy destination since 1997, just three years after dropping the track that would make her the unofficial (but official to us) ambassador of the winter holiday.
Aside from being a key vacation spot for one of the culture’s greatest musicians, Aspen also offers travelers access to world-class skiing and snowboarding and four distinct mountains that provide the perfect backdrop for a winter vacation.
Whistler, British Columbia, Canada
Home to the largest ski resort in North America, Whistler Blackcomb, this destination is located in the Coast Mountain Range and is about 75 miles north of Vancouver.
From luxury spas like Scandinave Spa Whistler to Olympic Park, this is another top winter vacation spot that offers a unique experience for people who love snow and the thrill of a good adventure.
Western Massachusetts
Dubbed the place for a magical holiday escape, Springfield, Massachusetts, blends the warmth of small-town charm with unforgettable experiences like Grinchmas at Springfield Museums, Winterlights at Naumkeag in Stockbridge, Historic Deerfield’s Winter Frolic, and many others.
This destination offers something for all ages, and it’s close to home, making it all the more reason to place on your radar for a winter getaway.
Rovaniemi, Finland
If you want to really get into the Christmas spirit, this just may be the place for you. As the official home to Saint Nick himself, Rovaniemi, Finland offers reindeer sleigh rides, the opportunity to stay in a glass igloo, as well as an opportunity to experience the Santa Claus Village.
Lake Tahoe, California/Nevada
Who says that visits to the lake house are only reserved for summer vacation? A winter trip to Lake Tahoe is equipped with stunning lake views and top-notch ski resorts, including Heavenly and Northstar.
Chamonix, France
Sitting at the base of Mont Blanc, Chamonix, France, is known for its skiing and mountaineering. This destination is home to the Aiguille du Midi cable car, the charming Alpine village, and is also close to various other European ski destinations.
Northeastern Pennsylvania
This area of the U.S. state is home to the Poconos Mountains, whose renowned ski resorts include Camelback Mountain, Blue Mountain, and Jack Frost Big Boulder. Whether you’re a ski expert, a beginner, or just there for the vibes, this destination makes for a winter vacation that balances fun adventures and cozy getaways. Additionally, Pennsylvania is home to the Christmas Tree Capital of the world.
Feature image by Shutterstock
Originally published on November 23, 2024









