I was close to entering my early twenties when I discovered the wonderful world of “pegging.” There was something so arousing about seeing a woman with her harness and dildo in tow, fully dominating a man in a way where he was fully submissive. I dabbled a time or two myself in that arena, and I’m convinced there’s nothing like it. I have yet to encounter another cisgender man who is comfortable enough with his sexuality to allow that terrain to be explored, but I’m just saying.
In addition to being used by straight women on straight men, strap-ons have long since been used for penetrative sex by lesbian women, trans men, people with erectile dysfunction, and more. Strap-ons can be used by anyone to penetrate anyone consensually. It is a sex toy for the purpose of evoking pleasure and that isn’t limited to any one gender or circumstance and it isn’t contingent on the genitalia of the giver or the receiver.
If you’ve ever wanted to explore strap-on play with your partner, xoNecole has you covered! We talked to certified sex educator Jennifer Eden who says, communication is key. “Talk about what you want to do, how you want to feel, and maybe even why you feel drawn to try it,” they advise. “Porn isn’t always a great sex ed resource, but it can be a great jumping-off point. Find a flick that shows what you want to do, and have a conversation with your partner about what you see. What do you like about it? What would you want to do differently?”
Here are Eden's best beginner strap-on tips to incorporate into your strap-on play.
1.When you go shopping for your first strap-on, know what you’re looking for.
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“A strap-on is technically two components - a harness and a dildo. And in most cases, those items are sold separately," Eden tells xoNecole. "When it comes to your harness, there are a lot of options: adjustable, padded, leather, briefs, boxers, and the list goes on. You want a style and fit that works best for your body and your self-concept. For example, if you would be distracted by straps pressing into the flesh of your hips and thighs, you may want to consider a brief- or boxer-brief-style harness for a smoother look and feel.”
2.Get over the heteronormative and queerphobic hang-ups around strap-ons
“Sex toys are inanimate objects and have no gender. So your orientation or the way you label your sexuality doesn’t change just because you’ve introduced a new activity or accessory to your sexual repertoire. Allow yourself to adopt the mindset of pleasure over everything - over labels, over stereotypes, over limiting beliefs, and especially over that little voice in your head that says ‘you shouldn’t be doing this.’ Ask yourself what’s more important to you - fitting a label or feeling good?”
3.Consider the material, size, and color of your dildo of choice.
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“When it comes to the dildo, there are even more options! You want to consider material, size, and color to narrow down your search. If it’s safe and accessible to you, I recommend going to your local adult store rather than shopping online. That way you can see things in person instead of relying on pictures and descriptions. Which aren’t always accurate.”
4.Spend time wearing your harness before introducing it into the bedroom.
“Your first time wearing your harness shouldn’t be when you and your partner are about to get it on," Eden says. "Spend some time wearing it before go-time. Put it on, stand in the mirror, and move your hips. Do some squats, some lunges, some toe-touches. You’re probably chuckling to yourself at this point but I’m serious. You want to see how the harness moves with your body and, more importantly, if it’s comfortable.
"Is it digging or pinching around your hips or thighs? Depending on the style of harness you have, you might be able to adjust it to your comfort. Is your dildo pointing at the floor? Your harness may not be able to support the weight of the dildo you chose. It’s best to find these things out before your debut performance.”
5.Lube is your friend.
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“The vagina self-lubricates, the bootyhole does not. Both these holes, and any other fold or crease you might want to play with, can always benefit from some added moisture. There’s this myth that using lube is a bad thing. But why make the body do extra work? The body’s natural moisture may change for a number of reasons. Maybe you haven’t been drinking as much water as you should. Maybe it’s cold in the room. Maybe you’ve recently switched up your medications or supplements.
"Whatever the reason, adding a little lube can make it a more comfortable and pleasurable experience for everyone involved.”
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The show is exactly what you’d expect when you put a media pro and a sports legend together—a mix of real talk, unfiltered moments, and guest interviews that feel like family kickbacks. As the duo wraps up their first season, Rocsi sat down with xoNecole to talk about teaming up with Deion, the wildest moments on set, and why streaming platforms like Tubi are shaking up the talk show world.
Scoring the Gig & Clicking Instantly with Deion
Photo by Paras Griffin/Getty Images for Essence
Deion Sanders had been dreaming of hosting a talk show, and when Tubi came calling, it was only right he made it happen. But before he found the perfect co-host, he held auditions with different women for the spot.
Lucky for us, Rocsi threw her hat in the ring, and the connection was instant. “You just can’t buy chemistry like we have,” she tells us. “We are legit like big brother, little sister—fighting, cracking jokes, telling each other off. When you watch the show, it’s like watching family.”
Mixing News, Culture & Sports—Minus the Snooze
With We Got Time Today, Rocsi and Deion cover everything from the latest headlines to celebrity tea and, of course, sports. But instead of stiff, rehearsed segments, the show keeps it loose and unpredictable.
“We’re not breaking the mold—it’s not rocket science,” Rocsi jokes. “We just bring our own flair, our authenticity, and our personalities to it. Deion has firsthand experience in sports, so when we talk about athletes, he brings a different perspective.”
And the best part? Unlike traditional talk shows that rush through quick interviews, We Got Time Today actually takes its time. “A lot of shows might give you one or two segments with a guest,” Rocsi says. “With us, we actually sit down and have real-life conversations.”
Her Top Guests (So Far!)
From music icons to relationship experts, the show has already had some unforgettable guests—but a few stand out for Rocsi.
“Ice Cube was our first guest, and he’s just legendary,” she says. “Kirk Franklin had us cracking up when he broke into a full choir freestyle for our Christmas special. And anytime we get Dr. Bryant on to put Deion in the hot seat? That’s my favorite!”
And of course, there’s Nick Cannon. “Nick was amazing,” she adds. “You already know he’s going to bring the energy and say something wild.”
Tag-Team Hosting with Deion: The Inside Scoop
While Deion Sanders is best known for his football greatness, Rocsi says he’s also one of the funniest people she’s ever worked with.
“He’s goofy—like, really goofy,” she laughs. “A lot of people didn’t know that side of him, but now they do. He can crack a joke, and if you’re too sensitive, good luck, because he will go in. But the best part? I throw it right back at him! Sometimes we just look at each other like, ‘Okay, that was a good one.’”
But beyond the laughs, she admires his insane work ethic. “Watching him juggle everything he does is just super admirable,” she says.
How "We Got Time Today" Brings That "106 & Park" Energy
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For those wondering if We Got Time Today feels like 106 & Park 2.0, Rocsi says it’s a whole different vibe.
“The only comparison I’d make is that it’s a destination for the culture,” she explains. “It’s a platform where our people can come, feel safe, and have real conversations. But other than that, this is Deion’s world—we’re just having fun in it.”
The Talk Show Shake-Up: Why This Show Hits Different
Unlike traditional networks, We Got Time Today lives exclusively on Tubi, proving that streaming platforms are changing how we watch talk shows.
“Tubi is giving more people opportunities and making content more accessible,” Rocsi says. “Deion is a huge Tubi fan—he literally loves Black cinema—so it just made sense for him. And honestly? He’s got me watching it too!”
Real Ones Only: Women Holding Each Other Down
Rocsi credits her best friend, Chantelle, for always keeping her grounded. “She kept pouring into me, reminding me of who I am,” she shares. Even Deion Sanders makes sure to give her flowers, often calling her “the hostess with the most.”
In the industry, she’s built lasting bonds with women like Julissa Bermundez, Angie Martinez, and Angela Yee. “Julissa and I still kick it—her house is basically Sephora, so I just shop there,” she jokes. She also cherishes her friendships with Melyssa Ford and Robin Roberts, who have offered unwavering support. “Robin has always been there for me,” Rocsi says, reflecting on the wisdom she’s gained from the legendary journalist.
With the show’s first season wrapping up, Rocsi is grateful for the experience and excited for what’s next. “We’re having a good time, and the audience can feel that,” she says.
And if you haven’t tuned in yet? Well, Rocsi and Deion got time—so you might as well make some too.
Catch We Got Time Today now streaming on Tubi!
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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