Something that I used to be in the habit of doing, that I actually need to get back into, is ending the week with a bouquet of fresh flowers. There’s something about having the presence of fresh blooms around that feels uber feminine — plus, the scent is pretty divine. And, as a bonus, when the petals begin to wilt, I’m able to repurpose my bouquets and turn them into all-natural beauty treatments.
Hey, I’m not kidding. If you’ve never steeped flower petals before, you should definitely give it a shot. Although many of them have medicinal properties that you may find to be beneficial, today I’m coming from the angle of what 12 different kinds of flowers can do for your hair and skin — whether you use them as a hair rinse, skin toner or you purchase an extract or oil version of them. Whatever you decide, I can almost guarantee you that with consistent use, you will see a real difference; the best part is, it’ll be all natural.
So, let’s get into some flowers that are beautiful to look at and are wonderful when it comes to bringing out the best in your appearance, shall we?
1. Rose
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I doubt there’s a flower that’s more popular than a rose, perhaps because it’s the classic “I love you” bloom. When it comes to your hair, the properties of a rose are pretty impressive because it contains an astringent that can remove excess build-up (if you’re looking for a natural way to clarify your locks), it has anti-inflammatory elements that can soothe an irritated scalp and it can even help to reduce frizzing. Your skin will like roses because they are loaded with antioxidants, they help to fight off free radicals, they’re a great skin moisturizer and, in rose water form, roses are a gentle and soothing make-up remover.
You can learn how to make your own rose water here.
2. Hibiscus
A flower that is known for being a “feminine one” is the hibiscus. It’s popular in Asia and represents things like femininity, beauty, and love.
If you’re currently on a mission to get your hair as healthy as possible, this flower not only helps to keep your tresses hydrated, it can help to give them thickness and more volume too. As if that’s not impressive enough, hibiscus can reduce dandruff, decrease hair shedding, and even help to prevent split ends. If slowing down the signs of aging is what you’re after, the hibiscus flower has you covered in that department as well, mostly because it helps to prevent collagen from breaking down in your skin, which ends up bringing more elasticity to it.
In fact, hibiscus is so effective in that department that it’s earned the nickname “natural Botox.” Some other things worth noting about this flower are it’s a gentle exfoliant, it helps to reduce skin inflammation and it can aid in preventing oxidative stress from wreaking havoc on your skin.
A recipe to make a face and neck cream with hibiscus in it is located here.
3. Sunflower
Sunflowers are full of vitamin E, oleic acid, and antioxidants. In oil form, they can help to reduce hair breakage, condition your hair, and soothe your scalp. Something else that sunflower oil can do is reduce some of the irritation that is associated with eczema, as well as treat acne since it can help to remove bacteria from your skin without clogging up your pores in the process.
4. Chrysanthemum
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Some of my favorite flowers to see during the fall (even though many bloom as soon as late July or early August) are chrysanthemums. Your hair likes them because they have properties that reduce hair loss and also encourage hair growth. As a tea, the antioxidants and anti-inflammatories in chrysanthemums can decrease stress levels, which can ultimately help to prevent breakouts and slow down the signs of aging skin.
5. Arnica
If you’re not familiar with what an arnica bloom is, it looks a lot like a daisy — only it’s completely yellow. Although it’s probably best known as a pain reliever, it does contain properties that help to reduce dandruff, reduce puffiness (especially underneath your eyes), and smooth out the appearance of wrinkles so that your skin is able to have a youthful and naturally radiant glow.
6. Moringa
In oil form, I’ve shouted out the moringa flower before (check out “Uncommon (But Totally Natural) Things That Are Great For Hair Growth”). Since it’s a great source of vitamins A and E as well as zinc, if you want to strengthen your strands so that you can retain more length, it’s a good idea to apply moringa oil at least a couple of times a week (especially to your ends).
Speaking of your ends, although there really is nothing that can “repair split ends” (it really is best to just cut them and then really nurture your remaining ends moving forward), moringa oil does have a way of hydrating your hair and smoothing your cuticles, so that split ends are less of an issue. If you have dry skin, moringa oil can help to seal in moisture for longer periods of time. It also has a reputation for softening the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles as well.
7. Passion Flower
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Honestly, since one of the best things that you could ever do for your hair and skin is consistently get a good night’s rest, if you like to soak in the tub before bedtime, add some passion flower petals to the water; they will help to decrease anxiety and ultimately improve your quality of sleep (just for the record, if you’re perimenopausal, they can help with hot flashes too). Beauty-wise, passion flowers can help to restore damaged hair and hydrate and soothe your skin.
Some recipes for how to make an all-natural body wash and hair serum are located here.
8. Jasmine
Just as a random FYI, one of the sexiest scents that you can ever wear is jasmine. It’s sweet, it’s fruity, and it’s…decadently sensual; that’s why it’s known as an aphrodisiac. Your hair will adore jasmine because it has antimicrobial and antiseptic properties that help to bring relief to dandruff as well as being able to strengthen your hair over time. Your skin will enjoy it, too, because it both tones and softens it (yep, you can definitely use jasmine as an all-natural skin toner).
9. Calendula
Last fall, a tea that I shouted out that’s great for your hair is calendula tea (check out “10 Teas That Are Great For The Fall Season — As Far As Hair Growth Is Concerned”). Yeah, if you’re looking for something that will give your curls more definition (because it reduces frizz), calendula is a sweet go-to. Your skin will also like this particular flower thanks to its antifungal, anti-inflammatory, and antibacterial properties that all work together to treat acne, protect your skin from damaging UV rays, and reduce the symptoms that are associated with eczema.
10. Tulip
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My all-time favorite flower is the tulip. I’m not 100 percent sure why, although I once read that it represents a “perfect deep love,” which is pretty cool. Anyway, because I enjoy them so much, I have done some research on them, and yep — they come with some hair and skin benefits , too. Since tulips are considered to be a humectant and humectants pull water from the air into your hair and skin, if you’re looking for a natural way to remain moisturized, that’s one reason to try them out. Also, tulips contain the type of amino acids that help to build collagen in your skin; this means they are a bloom that can help to fight the skin's aging. Dope.
11. Lotus
Lotus flowers represent things like rebirth, strength, and grace — all are the kinds of words that seem very fitting when you’re trying to maintain natural beauty. That said, because lotus flowers are full of antioxidants that help to decrease oxidative stress, that’s good to know because that’s the type of stress that accelerates the graying process of your hair and is tied to certain forms of alopecia. Since lotus flowers contain anti-inflammatory properties, too, this is another bloom that’s effective at naturally treating breakouts.
12. Honeysuckle
When I was a little girl, something that I liked to do was find honeysuckles and literally suck on them. Although, in hindsight, I definitely should’ve washed those suckers off (chile), I do recall that they did have a subtle sweetness to them. If you have similar memories, did you know that honeysuckle contains both health and beauty benefits? When it comes to your hair specifically, the properties in this flower can help to add moisture to your hair and prevent your locks from becoming brittle or developing split ends. Skin-wise, the antioxidants and anti-inflammatory properties in them can bring relief if you’ve got eczema or psoriasis.
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A study once revealed that people who keep fresh flowers in their homes are not only more compassionate, they are less anxious and are happier, too. So, at some point this week (if you haven’t already), treat yourself by stopping by, shoot somewhere, and copping yourself a bouquet. Use the blooms for your mental health first — then upcycle them for beauty reasons. True perfection and the ultimate investment, if you ask me.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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