Although I’m personally someone who doesn’t wear much makeup at all (mascara and lipstick are pretty much my thing), I will be the first to say that there is an art in being able to create the perfect “makeup face” — especially when it comes to blending eyeshadows. Yeah, whether you opt to use cosmetics to subtly enhance some of your natural features or you enjoy seeing just how creative you can get with all of your makeup products when you get it right…it’s so…RIGHT.
Since it’s the fall season and there are sure to be some family get-togethers, office parties, and holiday-themed events with your bae that are coming up, if you are someone who enjoys all things makeup, I want to share with you some of the colors that will be big trends for autumn, as well as winter, along with some color psychology behind each and every one.
That way, you can choose hues that not only are currently in style but will reflect how you want to feel from the inside out whenever you have them on too.
1. Smoky Gray Eyes
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For the longest time, I wasn’t exactly sure what my favorite color was. Although I do tend to lean into neutrals, now more than ever, as I was looking at my closet a few months ago, I realized that, hands down, from head to toe, it’s gray. From a color psychology standpoint, gray represents things like wisdom, knowledge, being calm, and remaining composed. Although it also symbolizes things like neutrality and not being stimulated (which definitely isn’t me — LOL), I just feel — feminine and cozy in gray, especially during this time of the year.
Anyway, if you’re someone who has an upcoming date that requires dressing up, try the currently popular smoky gray eye. Not only does it provide a really dramatic effect, but it also brings out the best in your eyes if they are brown; plus, it’s a great complement for your gray hair stands (if you happen to have any). Yeah, nothing says “stunningly regal and sexy” like a well-done smoky gray eye does.
2. Plum Cheeks
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Pretty recently, ESSENCE ran an article entitled, “9 Times Sanaa Lathan Proved She’s The Queen Of Blush.” It wasn’t until I skimmed it that I thought about how impacting blush really can be. Although I’ve always known that it can bring out the best in cheekbones, what I really like is how it can provide a radiant glow while contouring our features. As far as which shade is gonna be big this season, it’s plum.
Since plum is in the purple family, it’s a color that symbolizes things like royalty, luxury, extravagance and ambition. Also, from what I’ve read and researched, plum, specifically, is all about spirituality and enlightenment. So, if you’re down to brush a lil’ bit of plum onto your cheeks this fall and winter, that’s the kind of energy that you will be bringing into your personal space. Beautiful.
3. Cranberry Lips
Next to pumpkins, cranberries would definitely have to be the signature fruit for fall and wintertime. That’s why it makes all of the sense in the world that it would be a trending color for the latter part of this year. Since it’s a shade of red, cranberry represents things like love, passion, power, and dominance. Hmph. The main thing that I think of when I think of the color red is the need for balance because, when it’s not controlled, it can lead to aggression and anger, too.
Anyway, as far as makeup application goes, cranberry is pretty bomb because it complements pretty much every skin tone, and from a lipstick standpoint, it’s a great (cosmetic) way to brighten your smile. Honestly, probably every woman should have a cranberry tube of lipstick (or at least lip gloss) in her possession. Do you?
4. Metallic Eyeshadow
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If you do some Googling on fall and winter makeup trends, you’re probably going to see a lot about eyes that look “iced out” or futuristic — and the way to achieve this look is to go with a metallic color of eyeshadow like gold, silver or bronze. That’s cool because metallic hues evoke things like creativity and excitement. Something that gold can do, specifically, is cause you to feel wealthy, while silver encourages you to tap into your intuition, and bronze reminds you to embrace strength and stability.
That said, if a metallic eye is something that you would like to try but have absolutely no idea of how to make it happen on the DIY tip, YouTuber Ale Jay has a video tutorial that combines a smoky and metallic eye in a very eye-catching way. You can check it out here.
5. Shades of Pink
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Pink is romantic. Pink is feminine. Pink is nurturing, sweet, kind, and soft — so, I’m all about it. Interestingly enough, although I tend to associate this color with spring and summer more, this year, you’ll be seeing all shades of pink in makeup during the colder seasons.
Actually, now that I come to think of it, an icy almost-white, pink sweater or a monochromatic blush outfit would probably be perfect for the cold. So, if you’re a fan of pink, this is your time to shine from eyeshadow to blush to lipstick. Have at it, sis.
6. Black Makeup
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So, what’s up with all of the black this year? As King Solomon once said, there is truly nothing new that is under the sun, and it appears that '90s grunge is back — only with a bit of an ungraded twist. Before I tackle that, let’s first talk about what black symbolizes: sophistication, seduction, strength, mystery, and being dignified. So, if anyone has ever tried to convince you that you are “hiding yourself” in black (black makeup, black clothing, whatever), school them on what black is all about.
Also, if you decide to wear black makeup this year, spice it up a bit by going with a black eyeshadow that has some sparkle in it or, if you’re going to wear black lipstick, apply a lip gloss that has a bit of glitter in it. Also, keep in mind that grunge comes in hues like burgundy or a smoky eye with a nude lip. You can check out different variations of the look (if black isn’t your thing but you’d like to experiment with the grunge look anyway) here.
7. Classic Red Lipstick
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This one, we’ve already touched on as far as what red represents, so let’s just hop into why you should definitely have a classic red lipstick in your possession. I mean, have you seen yourself in red before? LAWD. If you’re shy about it, look at YouTuber Okemute Ugwuamaka in a red lip here, RaggedyRoyal in an ombré red lip here, Karen Michelle’s matte red lip here, Nyla Akua in a red lip (short) here and ND MAKE-UP’s perfect red lip tutorial here.
Chile, if after viewing those, you don’t see how fabulous a classic red lip can be in and for your life…you simply don’t want to. SMDH.
8. Your Own Skin
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And what if you want to just — pardon the pun — chill and take the less is more approach this fall and winter? Believe it or not, you’ll actually be on-trend if you do; that’s because another big cosmetic look for this season and the next is not wearing much of anything at all.
As someone who pretty much lives this way, trend or not, what I really like about it is it reminds you to prioritize skincare so that you don’t have to worry (at least as much) about trying to cover up blemishes and discoloration (check out “Why Your Skin, Hair, And Nails Need Hyaluronic Acid Like...Yesterday,” “I've Been Doing At-Home Chemical Peels. Here Are The Pros And Cons.” and “Resolving To Kick Your Product Junkie Habit? Here's Your Game Plan For 2024.”).
Just apply a bit of bronzer and your favorite lip gloss (again, along with some mascara, of course), and you’ll look gorgeous in whatever you choose to wear. Plus, brown symbolizes things like health, nurturing, dependability, reliability, comfort, and honesty — so why not let your skin shine through?
Welcome to fall, y’all.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
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Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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Now, before we get into what that is, let me just say that NOTHING is 100 percent foolproof (when it comes to avoiding pregnancy) besides abstinence. Let me also say that other birth control options (like the condom, the pill, and IUDs…oh, and a vasectomy) have more odds at consistent success than what we are about to explore today.
Still, if you are looking for something that is hormone-free, there is a natural oil that has been known to pleasantly surprise some folks when it comes to avoiding conception for many, many years at this point: Neem oil.
Is It True That Neem Oil Is an All-Natural Form of Birth Control?
Okay, so you saw what this sistah in the Instagram post just did, right? If it low-key sounds crazy to you…it shouldn’t. The reality is there is science to back up that, at the very least, neem oil can be treated as an all-natural type of spermicide. The way it works is, if you apply it to your vaginal opening and to your partner’s penis right before intercourse, neem oil has the ability to kill sperm.
In fact, one study revealed that when 238 women used neem oil in this way, approximately five minutes before intercourse, only nine became pregnant during a 1-3 year period. Hmph. When you stop to think that 1 in 5 women typically get pregnant from the pull-out method, those odds are actually semi-impressive.
So, should you just run out to your local health store and cop a bottle of the oil? Well, you definitely should run your decision by your doctor first so that you can get even more intel about the pros, cons and risks. It’s also a good idea to keep in mind that this method is not FDA-approved and it can sometimes be so potent that you could end up irritating your vagina.
Still, even with all that I just said, it can’t hurt to do your own additional research when it comes to using neem oil as a contraceptive alternative; especially if hormonal birth control is something that really doesn’t sit well with you (for whatever the reason).
Oh, and while we’re on the topic of neem oil, even if you don’t need it for birth control reasons, there are still several solid reasons for why you should have a couple of bottles in your possession. I’ve included seven of ‘em.
1. Neem Oil Is a Solid Antioxidant
Something that is pretty darn impressive about neem (extract) oil is it contains a whopping 140 different active compounds including ones that are potent antioxidants. Since it also has anti-inflammatory properties in it too, if you happen to have an ulcer or you simply want to reduce some oxidative stress (so that your liver and kidneys can remain in an optimal state), neem oil is an all-natural way to benefit your health and well-being when it comes to both of these issues…and much more.
2. Neem Oil Can Help to Heal Skin Issues
Whenever you get a pimple, there is some inflammation that transpires. In fact, hyperpigmentation that comes after a breakout is typically because your body overproduced melanin in order to get the inflammation down. That said, because neem oil is so powerful when it comes to its anti-inflammation elements and since it also contains antimicrobial properties and fatty acids as well, you can apply it to a zit to speed up the healing process or mix it with a carrier oil to achieve/maintain healthy skin altogether (especially if you happen to have eczema or psoriasis or you want your skin to look younger for a longer period of time).
3. Neem Oil Reduces Dandruff
Dandruff transpires as the direct result of your scalp producing too much fungus/yeast known as Malassezia. That said, guess what else neem oil is considered to be? It’s an antifungal oil too! Not only that but it contains an active ingredient known as nimbidin that can help to hinder the build-up of Malassezia, reduce scalp irritation and suppress the inflammation that is sometimes associated with dandruff. Very cool.
4. Neem Oil Can Keep Your Hair Healthy
Aside from what I just said about dandruff, there are properties in neem oil that can help to keep your hair healthy, period. For instance, if you blend it with a carrier oil like jojoba, it can significantly reduce any frizz that you may have; that way, your natural curls can end up having more curl definition. Also, since it helps to strengthen your hair follicles, neem oil may be able to assist in you experiencing less hair breakage — which means that you will be able to retain more hair length over time.
5. Neem Oil Helps to Maintain Oral Health
This month, I have to have minor oral surgery — and a sistah is not at all thrilled about it. Although I adore my (new) dentist, who wants to get cut and drilled on (which is exactly why I am opting to be sedated)? On top of that, even though I have dental insurance, this ish is not about to be cheap. SMDH.
Moral to the story here — always be as proactive as possible about your oral health and, thanks to the antibacterial and anti-inflammatory properties that are in neem oil, it can help you out with your teeth and gums too.
Whether you are trying to naturally treat or prevent tooth decay, you want to try to avoid gum disease, you want your teeth to appear whiter, you desire stronger enamel or you’re looking for temporary relief from a toothache — it’s neem oil to the rescue on all fronts.
6. Neem Oil Improves Digestive Health
It’s super important to always remember that 80 percent of your immunity is housed in your gut. That said, in the realm of Ayurvedic medicine (check out “10 Ayurveda-Inspired Wellness Practices For A Balanced Fall & Winter”), neem oil has been long hailed as a way to bring relief to minor digestive issues. It does this by using its properties to soothe an upset stomach while reducing unpleasant symptoms such as gas and bloating.
7. Neem Oil May Lower Blood Sugar Levels
As if we haven’t already learn enough about how neem oil can be a real blessing, if you’re someone who wants to keep your blood sugar levels where they need to be, this oil may be able to help in this department too. The long story short with this one is some studies have revealed that neem oil has the ability to revive some of the cells that help to produce insulin. As a direct result, that can help to lower blood sugar levels. Now how dope is that?
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Hmph. Talk about an oil that is an unsung hero.
What are you waiting for? Cop some and see how (well) it works for you!
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