If there's one thing that I can promise you is consistent about my writing content, it's that I'm ever on the quest to have as many people have as much fulfilling sex, on a consistent basis, as absolutely possible. Today, it's all about some little things that can make a really big difference as it directly relates to sexual pleasure. Some are already in your house, some are up the street at your local grocery store and a few you'll have to order online. Just know that if you're willing to add, even five of these tips, you and your partner will be wondering what the hell took you so long to do just that. So, let's make sex even better with the following 15 things, shall we?
1. Pop Rocks
Wanna bring even more excitement to fellatio? When's the last time you put some Pop Rocks into your mouth beforehand? If you haven't thought about them since you were a kid, they're the candies that create a popping/sizzling sensation.
Between that and the flavor of your choice, Pop Rocks can make going down more appealing to your taste buds while offering up a totally indescribable "vibration" for your partner.
Oh, and if you have a hard time finding them at your local store, you can always get some Pop Rocks on its company website here.
Speaking of creating cool sensations during oral sex, if you like the taste of mint, try gargling some Listerine and then keeping a little bit of it in your mouth before taking him into yours. It creates a cool menthol feel that also can make him go all the way in…if you know what I mean.
3. Ice Cream
While we're on the topic of creating amazing sensations on genital regions, when's the last time that you had some ice cream put onto your labia during oral sex? If it's your man's favorite flavor, he will be sure to eat it up (pun totally intended). Plus, the cool sensation of the ice cream along with the warmth of his mouth will easily have you climbing the walls. Just make sure to put down a towel or prepare to wash your sheets afterwards. This can make a mess, although it's the best kind of one.
4. Clit Pump
I know, right? You learn something new every day. Today, for me, it's clit pumps. If you've never heard of them before, they're basically mini vacuums that you place over your clitoris in order to increase blood circulation to it. The benefit? Well, the more sensitive your clitoris is, the easier it is to climax. Many women sing its praises because the combo of the vacuum and oral action happening simultaneously can create the most intense orgasm ever. Cop one here and then report back. #wink
5. Masturbation Sleeve (or Banana Peels)
Never heard of a masturbation sleeve before? That's OK. I'll break it down. Long story short, it's the kind of sex toy that a man puts his penis into that feels somewhat like a vagina or even a mouth. Some come with lube. Some vibrate. While it might initially sound like the kind of game only one can play, a lot of couples enjoy them because they say it's great when it comes to mutual masturbation or oral sex. Men's Health once did a feature on this entitled, "I Tried 6 Male Masturbation Sleeves, and This One Was Definitely the Best". It might be able to point you into the right direction of which masturbation sleeve to get.
On the other hand, if money is tight or sex gadgets aren't really your thing, some people are all about using banana peels as an alternative. Yep. Literally putting their package in between a peel. Hey, if the grapefruit trick worked, I don't see why a banana peel wouldn't.
6. Delay Spray
Whether your man struggles with premature ejaculation, it takes you a bit longer to "get there" or your stuff is just so good that he sometimes releases before either of you planned, something that he might want to try is Delay Spray. If you've never heard of it before, it's the kind of spray that relaxes the sensitive nerves in his penis so that he can go for a longer period of time. The key is to apply the spray 10-15 minutes prior to intercourse. And if you're wondering — it will not affect your vagina, you can use it even if oral sex is going to happen (after the spray is applied; just wait about 10 minutes) and it can go on a flaccid or erect penis. If it's piqued your interest, you can purchase a bottle by going here.
7. “Honey Oil”
A couple of years ago, when I wrote an article onfall-themed sex, one of the things that I shouted out was cinnamon oil. Chile…chile. It's sweet, it's warm and it's such a non-sticky way to enjoy "tongue-cleaning" — and getting cleaned. Along these same lines, adding a teaspoon of honey to one-third cup of sweet almond oil, zapping it into the microwave for 10 minutes and then applying it to each other's bodies and licking it off can be pure bliss. There's honestly no other way to put it.
If low-key bondage is totally your thing but handcuffs are uncomfortable as hell, there are some cool cuffs known as Cuffies. What makes them a standout item is they are super strong yet because they are made out of silicone, they are uber comfortable too.
The real bonus? They're only $18. Definitely worth having in one of your nightstands, if you ask me. If you're interested, you can cop a pair here.
While you're waiting on your Cuffies to arrive in the mail, a more-than-fair substitute is a necktie. It's soft. It's sexy. And it can double up as a bondage tool or a blindfold. Preferably both.
10. CBD Oil
Last fall, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, "7 Proven Ways Weed Makes Sex So Much Better". One of the things that I shouted out in it is CBD lube; not only does it make things wetter, the properties in CBD can also heighten sensitivity in the genital region. Along these same lines, CBD oil is dope because it helps to relax your body's blood vessels, so that blood flow is able to increase and your orgasms can intensify. Using it as a warm massage oil is the perfect way to up the ante as far as foreplay goes. Not "maybe" — definitely.
11. Partial Clothing
Most of the men I know, when it comes between choosing lingerie or nudity, they are totally doing for Door #2. However, I think there is something that is really sexy about having sex while partially clothed. A dress with no undies underneath. Breasts that are exposed with the bra still on. Panties moved over to the side. To me, it sends the message of, "You're so damn hot that I don't want to waste any more time trying to get all of your clothes off." And sex that is full of that kind of passion? It never misses.
12. “Sex Gratitude”
Out of all of the things on this list, perhaps my favorite one is this particular tip. If you want to have some truly incredible sex, the more dopamine that's surging throughout your body, the better. That's because dopamine is a type of neurotransmitter that sends messages back and forth between your body cells.
On the sex tip, dopamine is great because it plays a significant role in why and how we feel pleasure. Well, keeping this in mind, did you know that something that naturally triggers dopamine in your system is gratitude? When we express it and hear it, our brain releases a bit of dopamine which causes us to feel really good. So, whether it's during the act of foreplay or sex itself, tell your partner what you appreciate about them, especially sexually. I'd be shocked if he didn't return the favor and that the words you both hear won't prove to be the ultimate turn-on.
13. Open Blinds
If you consider yourself to be a closet exhibitionist (you like to be watched) yet you've never been bold enough to do something along the lines of having sex outdoors, a happy medium could be to open up some blinds in a room in your house. Whether it's in the day when the neighbors could actually see what's going on or at night when not a soul is looking, it's a simple way to "scratch the itch" without taking a really big risk.
14. Memory Foam Mattress Cover
Whether you have a squeaky bed or a house full of kids (check out "How To Make Sex Easier (& More Fun) When You've Got Kids"), don't let either stop you from getting as buckwild as you wanna be. A very easy and affordable way to "quiet your bed down" is to put a memory foam mattress cover on top of your mattress. Also, if you've got some box springs or a metal frame, spray some WD-40 on it could get your bed to shut up so that you can turn up as well.
15. “Sex Rewards”
I'm pretty sure you've heard of sex coupons before. Sex rewards are similar in the sense that you literally find fun and creative ways to "reward" for your partner for a job well done. If he makes you cum three times in a row, he gets his favorite meal prepared the following day. If you get into his favorite position, he runs the errands for you that you hate. The objective here isn't to use sex as a form of manipulation so much as an incentive to get excited about things outside of the bedroom. After all, rewarding people is one of the most effective ways to get them to do even more for you — or in the case of sex, to you. And what could possibly be wrong with that? Exactly.
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Different puzzle pieces are creating bigger pictures these days. 2024 will mark a milestone on a few different levels, including the release of my third book next June (yay!).
I am also a Professional Certified Coach. My main mission for attaining that particular goal is to use my formal credentials to help people navigate through the sometimes tumultuous waters, both on and offline, when it comes to information about marriage, sex and relationships that is oftentimes misinformation (because "coach" is a word that gets thrown around a lot, oftentimes quite poorly).
I am also still super devoted to helping to bring life into this world as a doula, marriage life coaching will always be my first love (next to writing, of course), a platform that advocates for good Black men is currently in the works and my keystrokes continue to be devoted to HEALTHY over HAPPY in the areas of holistic intimacy, spiritual evolution, purpose manifestation and self-love...because maturity teaches that it's impossible to be happy all of the time when it comes to reaching goals yet healthy is a choice that can be made on a daily basis (amen?).
If you have any PERSONAL QUESTIONS (please do not contact me with any story pitches; that is an *editorial* need), feel free to reach out at email@example.com. A sistah will certainly do what she can. ;)
This article is in partnership with Sensodyne.
Our teeth are connected to so many things - our nutrition, our confidence, and our overall mood. We often take for granted how important healthy teeth are, until issues like tooth sensitivity or gum recession come to remind us. Like most things related to our bodies, prevention is the best medicine. Here are five things you can do immediately to improve your oral hygiene, prevent tooth sensitivity, and avoid dental issues down the road.
1) Go Easy On the Rough Brushing: Brushing your teeth is and always will be priority number one in the oral hygiene department. No surprises there! However, there is such a thing as applying too much pressure when brushing…and that can lead to problems over time. Use a toothbrush with soft bristles and brush in smooth, circular motions. It may seem counterintuitive, but a gentle approach to brushing is the most effective way to clean those pearly whites without wearing away enamel and exposing sensitive areas of the teeth.
2) Use A Desensitizing Toothpaste: As everyone knows, mouth pain can be highly uncomfortable; but tooth sensitivity is a whole different beast. Hot weather favorites like ice cream and popsicles have the ability to trigger tooth sensitivity, which might make you want to stay away from icy foods altogether. But as always, prevention is the best medicine here. Switching to a toothpaste like Sensodyne’s Sensitivity & Gum toothpaste specifically designed for sensitive teeth will help build a protective layer over sensitive areas of the tooth. Over time, those sharp sensations that occur with extremely cold foods will subside, and you’ll be back to treating yourself to your icy faves like this one!
3) Floss, Rinse, Brush. (And In That Order!): Have you ever heard the saying, “It’s not what you do, but how you do it”? Well, the same thing applies to taking care of your teeth. Even if you are flossing and brushing religiously, you could be missing out on some of the benefits simply because you aren’t doing so in the right order. Flossing is best to do before brushing because it removes food particles and plaque from places your toothbrush can’t reach. After a proper flossing sesh, it is important to rinse out your mouth with water after. Finally, you can whip out your toothbrush and get to brushing. Though many of us commonly rinse with water after brushing to remove excess toothpaste, it may not be the best thing for our teeth. That’s because fluoride, the active ingredient in toothpaste that protects your enamel, works best when it gets to sit on the teeth and continue working its magic. Rinsing with water after brushing doesn’t let the toothpaste go to work like it really can. Changing up your order may take some getting used to, but over time, you’ll see the difference.
4) Stay Hydrated: Upping your water supply is a no-fail way to level up your health overall, and your teeth are no exception to this rule. Drinking water not only helps maintain a healthy pH balance in your mouth, but it also washes away residue and acids that can cause enamel erosion. It also helps you steer clear of dry mouth, which is a gateway to bad breath. And who needs that?
5) Show Your Gums Some Love: When it comes to improving your smile, you may be laser-focused on getting your teeth whiter, straighter, and overall healthier. Rightfully so, as these are all attributes of a megawatt smile; but you certainly don’t want to leave gum health out of the equation. If you neglect your gums, you’ll start to notice the effects of plaque buildup, which can irritate the gums and cause gingivitis, the earliest stage of gum disease. Seeing blood while brushing and flossing is a tell-tale sign that your gums are suffering. You may also experience gum recession — a condition where the gum tissue surrounding your teeth pulls back, exposing more of your tooth. Brushing at least twice a day with a gum-protecting toothpaste like Sensodyne Sensitivity and Gum, coupled with regular dentist visits, will keep your gums shining as bright as those pearly whites.
In the crazy world of dating, so much attention is placed on the behavior during actual dates. Whether it is choosing the right outfit or making a good first impression, the focus tends to center on the in-person time spent together. But something that often gets overlooked is the significance of "between date behavior (BDB)." BDB is not just generic good morning text messages (that can be sent to 10 women in one minute), but rather text check-ins during the day and even nightly phone calls. This is the time when two people are apart but still find time for connection.
It is during these in-between moments that the foundation of a truly meaningful relationship is often built. A glaring example of what happens when there isn’t BDB is the early relationship between Carrie and Big from Sex and the City. At the beginning of the series, she was so hyper-focused on the time she spent together that she ignored that Big wasn’t calling or texting her often between dates. Instead, he would reach out and send cars based on his convenience… and not hers.
When it comes to dating, don’t be Carrie!
BDB in Dating
BDB in Dating #datingtips #datingadvice #singleblackfemale #singleblackwoman #blackfemininity #femininityforblackwomen #blackdatingadvice #blackdating #singlelatina #singlelatinas
Please realize that 80-90% of your time will NOT be with your partner while seriously dating, so the BDB will also be a significant part of your relationship. Here are some other reasons why what happens when you're not together is just as, if not more, significant than the hours spent face-to-face…
One of the key factors that makes BDB so crucial is authenticity. When we are with someone on a date, it is easy to put on a front (show one’s representative), showcasing our best qualities and concealing our flaws. But it is in our day-to-day interactions, the text messages and phone calls, that our true selves shine through.
Consistency in behavior is an indicator of authenticity. And authenticity builds trust. And trust is the cornerstone of any meaningful relationship.
Speaking of trust, it is one of the foundations of a successful relationship. Building it doesn't happen in a single evening. It's the consistency in behavior between dates that solidifies trust. When your person consistently communicates, shows interest, and keeps it respectful in the moments between your dates, it is reassuring that your potential partner is seriously interested and invested in the relationship.
Also, in between dates, the channels of communication become lifelines that connect two people and nurture emotional intimacy. How you communicate and what you choose to communicate about can significantly impact a growing relationship. Consistent, thoughtful messages and meaningful conversations like sharing your thoughts, dreams, and vulnerabilities can help create a strong emotional bond. Being supportive and understanding during difficult moments can bring you closer together.
While the time spent on a date is super important, the BDB, I would argue, should not be slept on. It's the glue that holds the connection together, builds trust, and sets the stage for a healthy, long-lasting relationship. So, the next time you find yourself waiting for that next date, remember that the journey between those dates is just as significant, if not more so, in the grand scheme of building a meaningful connection.
Hope this helps!
Coach Anwar is a certified dating and relationship coach who has 13 years of experience helping Black and brown women date with strategy, meet relationship-ready men, and get into the best relationship of their lives.
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