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20 Dope Responses To The Question, "Why Are You Still Single?"
As a single woman of a certain age, I feel like I've often been unprepared when someone would ask me the question, "Why are you still single?" I didn't mind as much in my 20s because my single status was mostly due to circumstances where I initiated a breakup. But around 30, it started to become a nuisance of having to "explain" myself. Instead of giving in to my natural reaction of going on the defense or feeling personally attacked, I wanted to explore why the question of "Why are you still single?" is triggering because of the negative connotations that are implied.
Luckily, I've provided 20 responses including ways to redirect the conversation or turn it into a teachable moment to show why some people actually choose to remain single.
20 Ways To Respond To "Why Are You Still Single?"
1."Am I not allowed to be single?"
This response can be tricky so it's all about presentation. This could come off as defensive and that's the last thing you want to do, so tread lightly. Then again, depending on who's asking, you may want to throw off this vibe so they'll think before asking anyone else.
2."Because I enjoy the peace of mind of being solo right now."
If you haven't met someone who complements your life in a way that makes it better to not be single, that's totally fine. Between dating men with too much baggage or not wanting to commit, I once experienced burnout to the point where I decided it was best for me to be by myself for a while. My advice is to stay single until you find someone who makes being in a relationship worthwhile. After all, staying single and standing your ground is something to be commended, not shamed for.
3."I don’t know. I guess I'm overqualified."
Because sometimes a ridiculous question warrants a cute and ridiculous answer.
4."What makes you think I’m single?"
That's it. Keep them guessing because they shouldn't be in your business, anyway.
5."I’ve never really thought about it. Why? Are you still married?"
Diverting the conversation is a classic tool you can use to evade personal questions.
6."Because not everybody can handle me."
You're telling the truth, after all. Being fabulous comes at a cost.
7."Oh, I’m not single. I’m in a love affair with…"
Myself, food, my career, etc.This is a witty response with a bit of a curveball. Why not play into this uncomfortable conversation with a laugh.
8."That’s kind of personal. Would you like to tell me about your relationship?"
This answer is the perfect response to let someone know how invasive their question is. It's also an opportunity to redirect the conversation, whether you pivot to talking about your new business venture or turning the discussion back to them.
9."A relationship is not a priority for me right now (but if that changes, I’ll be sure to let you know)."
OK, so you don't have to add that last part unless you're feeling extra snappy, but there's nothing wrong with letting someone know that other things are more pressing in your life at the moment. It also gives you a chance to talk about all the great things you are currently doing.
10."I’m simply not interested in dating."
That's not to say your feelings won't change at some point, but right now, you may be more focused on a project at work, going back to school, or working on bettering yourself. If a relationship is not on your radar at the moment, that's OK.
11."What do you mean by 'still' single?"
Challenge them to elaborate on what they mean. It's one thing to ask if you're single, but when the word "still" is added, it implies that there is a timeframe that you've exceeded and that for some reason you shouldn't "still" be single.
12."I just am."
Shrug and offer no more information. Period.
13."Why do you ask?"
Probe them to find out why they're inquiring about your relationship status. Are they asking to be shady or do they know someone who would be a good fit for you? Perhaps they're genuinely interested to see why someone as fabulous as you is still on the market. If they want to ask questions, throw one back at them and see where the conversation leads.
14."Because, apparently, I’m really good at it."
Sometimes it's good to make light of a situation and laugh at yourself.
15."Currently, I’m looking for a significant income, not a significant other."
Who can be mad at a career-focused response? Perhaps you're more motivated by financial stability than a romantic partner. Maybe you're more interested in getting your degree or starting a business. These are things to be applauded, not appalled.
16."That’s not a bad thing, is it?"
Again, this is for clarification. If you can get an understanding of why the person is asking, then it may not be so triggering. For example, they may think you're such a catch and may genuinely be curious about your decision to be single.
17."Because I haven’t found anyone who adds value to my life."
You don't want to be in a relationship simply for the sake of being in a relationship and until someone comes along who makes your life better, then it's perfectly fine to stick to your guns.
18."You know, when the time is right and when I’m ready to be in a relationship, I have no doubt that my person will show up."
This great answer conveys that you are happy with your life just the way it is and optimistic about what it may hold in the future.
19."Single is the new 20."
Can you imagine getting a re-do of your 20s with all the knowledge of having lived through them? Of course, you can't get that time back, but being single at a certain age can be a chance to avoid some major pitfalls.
20."You know, I really like to keep my relationship details private. I hope you understand."
This sets a clear boundary for what you're willing to discuss and what's off-limits. And it rolls off the tongue easily with a smile. #Respectfully.
Be honest. If you're enjoying this time to focus on yourself, dating multiple people, or spending more time doing things you enjoy doing, then just say that. Maybe your last relationship gave you an opportunity to discover past traumas that you needed to heal from. Stand in your truth and embrace your decision to be single.
Featured image by svetikd/Getty Images
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Also known as The Real Black Carrie Bradshaw for her relentless love of shoes and emotionally unavailable men, DeJa K. Johnson is unapologetic in her pursuits to find love, happiness, and orgasms. A graduate of UA Little Rock, DeJa earned a Master's degree in Applied Communication with an emphasis on Interpersonal & Romantic relationships. She is also the founder of TheBreakupSpace.com, a safe space for men and women who need help getting over the loss of a romantic relationship. To connect, you can find her on all social media @TheRealBlackCarrieBradshaw or send her an email to love@TheRealBlackCarrieBradshaw.com.
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
In the vibrant world of travel influencers, Black women are making waves and offering fresh perspectives on globetrotting adventures. And when we say, “Book that trip,” we can’t help but recognize the women who fill our feeds with the inspiration to do so.
These trailblazing travel influencers capture breathtaking destinations and weave powerful narratives of enjoyment, leisure, and joy. From serene beaches to bustling cityscapes, these creators provide a unique lens through which we can experience the beauty and complexity of the world. It’s not just the photos that entice us. It’s the glimpses into local cultures, hidden gems, and the personal growth that comes from the second-hand exploration of new destinations.
Whether you're seeking travel inspiration, practical tips, or a vibrant community to connect with, following these Black women travel influencers will enrich your Instagram feed and ignite your wanderlust.
Jordan Aminah (@thebeautifuljordan)
Jordan is a dynamic travel influencer who stopped our scroll with her solo travel adventures to Juneau, Alaska — ever tried a reindeer hot dog? We love to see Black women try new things and explore the world through a fresh and lively perspective.
@thebeautifuljordan Welcome to Juneau, Capital of Alaska!🇦🇽❄️🦀🏔️ I picked this trip up to try something new and it turned out to be one of my favorite trips ive done so far! Alaska is beyond underrated! A while ago I heard about Tracys King Crab Shack and her world famous deadliest catch crabs. So when I found out we had super long layovers there I decided, imma get some 🦀! I also went whale watching🐳🐋Juneau is one of the best places to whale watch and I had the experience of a lifetime. I will detail this whole layover in another video. Please visit Alaska and add this to your list! #juneaualaska #juneau #tracyskingcrabshack #alaska #flightattendant #layoverdiaries #blacktravel #blacktraveler
Destiny Owusu (@ohwawa_)
Known as “Miss Enjoyment,” Destiny has been gracing our feed with a creative approach to travel and storytelling from London, Mexico, back to NYC.
Gezelle Renee (@gezellerenee)
With an eye for detail and a heart for adventure, Gezelle Renee captivates her followers with stunning photography and insightful travel tips. Her Instagram feed is a vibrant tapestry of global experiences, from Turkey to Thailand, with plenty of moments to add to your Pinterest board.
Skylar Marshai (@skylarmarshai)
If you follow Skylar Marshai, you know that her travel journey and storytelling are nothing short of mesmerizing. From her style to her creative documentation of her adventures, we love to see a Black woman expressing her passion for travel from coast to coast, land to sea, and beyond.
Oyin Edogi (@sweetlikeoyin)
Oyin not only catches flights, but she also puts on the best fits and the flyest makeup routines. Her content is filled with colorful destinations that will inspire you to pack your best looks and see that world.
Chelsea Davis (@chelseadoestravel)
Creator Chelsea Davis has traveled to over 100 countries by the age of 30 and did so through solo travel and making travel a priority. If you need the inspiration to stamp up your passport, she’s your girl.
Dr. N’Dea Bmekween (@bmekween)
TikTok creator Dr. N'Dea Bmekween is a dynamic content creator celebrated for her engaging and relatable videos. Her content captures the wonder of travel while providing helpful tips for aspiring travel influencers and content creators to make a living out of their passion.
@bmekween It’s totally possible to travel for free, you just have to plan and capitalize on these opportunities. If you want to learn my strategy for applying and winning travel scholarships, I teach you the details in my ebook “how to get paid to travel” #freetravel #travelrewards #travelcreditcards #biltrewards #hiltonhonors #scholarships #travelscholarship #paidtravel
Ciara Johnson (@hey_ciara)
Ciara quit her job “to travel the world solo,” and now she’s sharing her worldwide exploration through inspiring content for aspiring nomads.
Asiyami Gold (@asiyami_gold)
Asiyami’s seamless blend of travel, fashion, and lifestyle creates a sophisticated and inspiring feed. Add her to your summer travel mood board.
Lee Litumbe (@spiritedpursuit)
Lee Litumbe, the face behind Spirited Pursuit, is dedicated to exploring travel, adventure, and cultural experiences. A must-follow for a digital travel guide!
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