
Watchen Nyanue Is Making Space For Black Women To Climb The Ladder Of Success On Their Own Terms

The ability to advocate for oneself can be one of the greatest tools in our arsenal of personal and professional growth. For Black women in the corporate world, specifically, this is a unique rite of passage earned through speaking up on your behalf for promotions, negotiating salaries, or even overcoming workplace bias and discrimination. This process, though challenging, can reveal to us the inner voice that will serve as both a guide and champion for our upward mobility. Thankfully, women like Watchen Nyanue, founder and CEO of I Choose the Ladder, are creating space for Black women to find their voice in the workplace to climb the ladder of success on their own terms.
Watchen grew up in Liberia during a time of civil war and national unrest. From the ages of six to eight, she watched as her country was tugged between war and peace, exposing her to the worst of what the world could be, and ultimately reshaping her views on fear. "I think living through that trauma gave me an appreciation for life, but it took fear away from me. Life can be very fleeting, so I always tell myself, 'Why not just try it?'"
After her family emigrated to the US, music and television served as a guide for who Watchen saw herself becoming. Unlike most traditional immigrant households where becoming a doctor or lawyer is revered, Watchen's parents gave her the license to discover her passions and explore her skills outside of these trades. "My dad is an engineer, and because he understood what it took to become that, he would say, 'Go find what you want to do and be the best at that.'"
Courtesy of Watchen Nyanue
This freedom to explore granted Watchen the space to gain clarity on the purpose of her work and the legacy she would shape in the long run to impact women like her. Because of her tenacity and the relationships she built along the way, Watchen has a resume that extends from companies like Comedy Central, Johnson Publishing Company, and now serves as the Senior Vice President of the WNBA, Chicago Sky; one of the youngest Black women to hold that position.
Today, Watchen applies the wisdom she's gained in her professional career to her work as the founder of the career summit, The Climb, and career consulting company, I Choose The Ladder, which bridge the gap between ambitious Black women and the corporate elevation that awaits them.
"I love us for real. If you get us in position to win, we're always going to make sure that we all win."
On reshaping the Women’s Empowerment/Conference space and launching the Climb Summit.
"For me, I tend to create what I need. If I need it, there are probably other people who need it too. There was a level of frustration that came with conferences. I'd receive all this information, but I don't know what the first step was to do with it. At the I Climb Summit, we take away all the fluff. We make sure we're intentional about the women who are leading and teaching and make sure they identify as Black women and feel comfortable talking about their journey as Black women because the challenges that we face are very unique to us. We don't need to see the highlight reel, we need to pull back the curtain a bit to show what it's really going to take to succeed."
Courtesy of Watchen Nyanue
"We don't need to see the highlight reel, we need to pull back the curtain a bit to show what it's really going to take to succeed."
On giving Black women the tools to advocate for themselves in the workplace.
"We launched our latest product, The Review Planner, because I feel like our annual reviews don't always get maximized. For me, it's always been about keeping receipts and having clarity around how my success is being measured. The planner helps you track your progress all year long so when it's time for your performance review, it's not your manager telling you what they think you did or you telling them what you remember, it's actual data that backs you up. It's your job to bring to their attention how much of a boss you are and what you bring to the table. If you don't find ways to infuse that into conversation with your managers, they may never know."
On how to navigate spaces when you’re the “only” in the room.
"My goal with I Choose the Ladder isn't to convince Black women to leave corporate, it's to make sure that once you do, you leave with as much as you gave. There's a price we pay to be in these spaces, so we need to make sure we're getting the benefits, which can't just be our title or salary because those things can be easily taken away.
"If you plan to be senior in any industry, most of the time, you're going to be the 'only'. But perspective matters: what do you want to get from the people in these rooms? Yes, it's going to be tough, but what reward do you want to receive for having to pay that price? Be very strategic about how you spend your time in these spaces."
"There's a price we pay to be in these spaces, so we need to make sure we're getting the benefits, which can't just be our title or salary because those things can be easily taken away."
On strategic networking and the power of building organic relationships.
"I have a solid squad of mentors and sponsors and everyone that I have, I found doing work -- whether on a committee or volunteering my time. So when they say 'be organic', don't put yourself in spaces because you have an ulterior motive. When you are engaged in the things that you care about, you tend to work harder, people see you as your best self, and you naturally gravitate towards each other.
"Another thing is, I have a natural curiosity about people; people are interesting. Ask folks about themselves, the books they're reading, the art in their office. It doesn't always have to be career advice. Figuring out your intercepting points of interest can take a lot of the pressure off and be a jumping-off point for a conversation that can lead to a relationship."
"When you are engaged in the things that you care about, you tend to work harder, people see you as your best self, and you naturally gravitate towards each other."
On denouncing shame around unemployment and how to pivot during a pandemic.
"If you're in this economy and find yourself unemployed, underemployed or just doing what you need to do to pay your bills, there's no shame in that. Give yourself some grace; it takes time to pivot. You can't control that you got laid off or if a company hires you. What you can control is how prepared you are for your interviews, how intentional you are about growing your network, and how much work you're putting into yourself to develop new skills for when, not if, that new role comes."
On the one piece of advice that shaped her the most in your career.
"Most of the things we fear never happen. And sometimes we don't try things because of fear of the unknown. Whenever I'm feeling uncertain about a decision, I do an exercise called, 'What if? What is?' I write out all my 'what if's' and in the 'what is' column, I balance it out with what's true. By the time you reach the end, you'll see that you've already handled a version of what you're afraid of. I tell people all the time that you have all that you need right now to do what you need, right now. Just trust the process."
To connect with Watchen, follow her endeavors on Instagram @ichoosetheladder, and tune into her podcast, I Choose the Ladder.
Featured image courtesy of Watchen Nyanue
Aley Arion is a writer and digital storyteller from the South, currently living in sunny Los Angeles. Her site, yagirlaley.com, serves as a digital diary to document personal essays, cultural commentary, and her insights into the Black Millennial experience. Follow her at @yagirlaley on all platforms!
On her debut album,CTRL,SZA crooned about her desire to be a “Normal Girl.” Now, nearly eight years since its release, her Not Beauty line represents her commitment to existing outside of traditional beauty norms.
The singer whose real name is Solána Imani Rowe first teased the idea of a lip gloss line during Super Bowl LIX in February, noting that the release would be happening “very shortly.” Not Beauty debuted simultaneously with the Grand National Tour, which she co-headlines with Kendrick Lamar, in Minneapolis on April 19.
Each Not Beauty pop-up would offer fans the opportunity to purchase the glosses, learn more about the brand, and have the opportunity to meet the superstar in the flesh regardless of their ticket status.
During the Los Angeles tour stop, which spanned three dates on May 21, May 23, with the finale on May 24, xoNecole had the opportunity to test out the glosses included in this soft launch, as SZA revealed in a statement that "this is just the start of other lip products, including plans to launch stains, liners, and creams all inspired by SZA's “infamous layered lip combinations.”
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So, what is included in the first Not Beauty launch?
The current Not Beauty products available are lip glosses that come in three shades: In the Flesh, Strawberry Jelly, and Quartz.
During my visit to the first LA Not Beauty pop-up activation, I not only had the chance to purchase all three glosses but also took a peek inside the blow-up log tent. Inside, fans got to experience SZA’s love for nature and her fascination with bugs, which are prominently featured in her performances for this tour. At one point, she even had human preying mantis prancing across the stage y'all.
There were blow-up photos of the beauty that is SZA for fans (myself included) to take photos, but in wooden-like tree trunks were a deeper dive into some of the ingredients featured in her products and their benefits.
For example, the glosses feature Hi-Shine Lip Jelly and Shea Butter as key ingredients and some of the listed benefits included are:
- Shea Butter - “A powerhouse ingredient, offering both functional and nourishing benefits.”
- Hi-Shine Lip Jelly (featured in the In the Flesh shade) - “Formula glides on with perfect adhesion to the lips without stickiness).
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What are in the products?
Featured in an orange package, with images of a bug and flower on the side, the back of the box reads: “It’s NOT BEAUTY, it just works. Developed by Solána “SZA” Rowe.
As someone who never leaves home without a good lip gloss, I loved how compact the wood panel packaging is. Perfect to slip into my purse, or in the case of the show at SoFi Stadium, into my pocket when I’m not carrying a bag.
Because I’m a sucker for a good black and brown lip liner and clear gloss combo, I decided to wear the Quartz flavor on night one of the Grand National Tour LA stop, and it did not disappoint. I’ll admit, it’s light weight feel made me nervous because it felt like there was nothing on my lips. However, when I checked my lips in my compact mirror several times throughout the night, I was shocked to find that my gloss was still intact. I only reapplied once out of the habit of looking cute and applying my gloss, but not necessity.
Here are some of the ingredients featured, but not limited to, in the Quartz flavor.
- Polyisoubutene
- Butyrospermum Parkii (Shea)Butter
- Ricinus Communis (Castor) Seed Oil
- Mentha Piperita (Peppermint) Oil
- Tocopherol
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Lip prep
I’m a simple girl who loves to stay true to her roots. So ahead of the show, I stopped by a local Inglewood Beauty Supply store and grabbed a Black and Brown shade lip pencil for just under $2 a piece.
Shading the outline of my lips with the black pencil first, I used the brown to lightly fill the inside of my lips before applying my Quartz Not Beauty shade gloss.
How to apply
There’s truly no right or wrong way to apply lip gloss (in my opinion), with this being a brush applicator sort of product, I simply untwisted the top and swiped the gloss around my top and bottom lip generously.
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Results
Again, my Not Beauty Quartz product stayed on my lips from the start of the show, which began with a fire DJ set from LA’s very own, Mustard, to the conclusion when Kendrick and SZA reunited on stage to send us home to their duet, “luther,” featured on the rapper's GNX album.
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It’s almost always “annoyingly fun” to have conversations with super churchy folks. Example? Recently, I had on an anklet that a particular woman took notice of. When she complimented it and asked what it was made of, I said, “Moonstone, which is one of my birthstones.” Oddly enough, she then turned up her nose and said that stones and crystals were tied to witchcraft, to which I casually replied, “Then I guess you hate Aaron’s breastplate, huh?” She paused and turned her nose up again — this time, though, because she just experienced a good old-fashioned “checkmate.”
This article is about crystals not Scripture, so when it comes to the latter, I’ll just briefly say that if you mosey on over to Exodus 28, you’ll see that a high priest breastplate is referenced; one that contains precious gems including topaz, sapphire, agate, onyx and jasper (and that’s just for starters!). Yeah, it really is important to not just throw judgments around like confetti — know of what you are actually speaking of first (because that’s what Matthew 7 is really all about).
I did think it was important to mention that for potential skeptics about why this article even exists. Because although there are Scriptural and evenscience-based individuals who roll their eyes at the power of what gemstones and crystals can (possibly) do, I’m pretty sure that some of you are not surprised that the holistic and Ayurveda worlds see it all very differently.In those realms, energy plays a big role in physical, emotional, and mental health, and crystals are believed to cultivate balance or intensify certain feelings or experiences through that said energy.
That said, when it comes to sex, specifically, there are certain stones (which are basically what crystals are;in fact, all gemstones are a type of crystal) that are believed to help make intimacy even more satisfying. If you’re curious about which ones are, I’ve got 10 for you below.
10 Crystals That May Enhance Your Intimate Life
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1. Garnet
Garnet is a rich shade of red that happens to be January’s gemstone. It’s considered to be one of the oldest gemstones around, one that Egyptians believed was a symbol of life and something that they oftentimes wore in their signet rings. As far as symbolism goes, garnet also represents love and vitality as well as energy, passion and even self-confidence — all of which are quite relevant when it comes to having an active and fulfilling sex life.
2. Amethyst
Queen Cleopatra and Leonardo da Vinci are just two powerful figures who were big fans of the purple gemstone amethyst. Interestingly enough, it is February’s birthstone — the month that Valentine’s Day falls under. Another interesting fact is many early Christians relied on this gem in order to increase their spirituality while many Greeks used to see it as a stone that provided protection. When it comes to intimacy, amethyst is also associated with love and devotion as well as feelings of calm and reduced anxiety — and since the less calm you feel, the easier it is to climax…well. #wink
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3. Orange Carnelian
Looking to experience more joy and happiness? Or maybe you want to strengthen your friendships. Or perhaps it’s time to increase your pleasure levels or to go into deeper levels of sensuality. For all of these things, orange carnelian is a top-tier pick. As I did a bit more research on this stone, it’s considered to be a royal one and something that can bring forth peace. One of my favorite things about orange carnelian is it comes in different hues of orange — the deeper the color, the more passion it exudes. Just an FYI.
4. Rose Quartz
If you want to take your romantic relationship to another level, rose quartz has a solid reputation for helping to make that happen for you. In fact, this pink crystal is oftentimes referred to as being the stone of unconditional love because it encourages the wearers of it to both give as well as put themselves in the position to receive love too. Since rose quartz is also tied to things like emotional healing, restored trust and harmony, if you’re looking to make a much deeper intimate connection with your partner, this just might be the stone for you.
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5. Rhodochrosite
Rhodochrosite is a red-rose colored stone that I personally hold dear. I say that because, as a survivor of sexual abuse, it is one that helps recovering individuals to work through sexual trauma (and trauma, in general). It is associated with love, compassion and strength as it helps you to process your emotions in a positive way, so that you are able to effectively release past pain and deal with any PTSD that you might have. You know, I know a wife who sexually struggled in her marriage for years because she had been sexually assaulted in college and never told her husband.
A stone of compassion is a precious one — including when it comes to dealing with sexual trauma and intimacy challenges and learning how to face them. Salute to this stone right here.
6. Citrine
Citrine is November’s birthstone and its rich yellow color explains why it represents things like abundance, prosperity, radiance and happiness. Aside from this, whether you’re seeking clarity, you’d like to be more creative or you’re interested in becoming more sensual, citrine encourages all of this. Sensuality is a dope word because it’s all about appealing to all five senses; especially during intimacy. To learn more about how to do that, check out “How To Incorporate All Five Senses To Have The Best Sex Ever.”
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7. Red Jasper
While doing my own research on what red jasper represents, what I liked the most is it’s something that encourages emotional stability which is always a wonderful thing to have. Although it is a fiery red color, it also contains grounding properties and it symbolizes strength, courage and, another word that can always make sex more pleasurable: stamina. Since stamina is what helps both men and women to last longer during sex, anything that is a “stamina hack” earns an automatic mention when it comes to sex-themed content — including this.
8. Clear Quartz
A fun fact about quartz is it’s one of the most common minerals on this planet. When it comes to clear quartz, specifically, I like the way that it looks because it’s either a cloudy white or something that you can see straight through. As far as its symbolism is concerned, if you want to reduce physical discomfort, remove distractions and focus more on heightened levels of yourself, this crystal represents all of that. Clear quartz also encourages healing, spiritual growth and balance. To me, it seems like if you want to cultivate a spiritual or meditative (check out “What Exactly Is 'Orgasmic Meditation'?”) experience with your partner, clear quartz is a stone to try.
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9. Shiva Lingam
I ain’t got no lies to tell you — when I first happened upon this particular stone, the first thing that came to my mind was an article that I penned for the site back in the day entitled, “Blow Your Man's Mind By Giving Him This Tantalizing Massage.” That’s because it explains what a lingam massage is and, as you can see, this crystal has that word all up in it. The history of lingam is a bit layered (you can read about it here); however, because it is considered by many to be a phallic symbol and that typically represents the penis — shiva lingam is a neutral-colored crystal that represents both sexuality as well as fertility. Shocking, right? #sarcasm
10. Pyrite
It doesn’t escape me that it’s kind of funny that I’m closing this out with a crystal that has the nickname “fool’s gold.” That’s due to its appearance. That said, it’s also a stone that has some interesting symbolism to it. Since it comes from a Greek word that means fire — of course, it’s a crystal of passion. Since it also taps into things like heightened energy, self-esteem, creativity, awakened senses and the removal of toxic thoughts — if any stone should be in your “let’s get it on” crystal collection, pyrite would be the one!
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Know what’s kinda wild? While I was on Etsy’s site looking for another moonstone, a sake popped up in my feed on what the merchant calls their “libido crystal set” — and six of the 10 stones that I’ve mentioned throughout this article are featured in the collection.
Yeah, I’ll take that as a confirmation that whether you purchase a piece of jewelry that has one (or more) of these stones or you buy a piece of crystal itself to place somewhere in your bedroom — just putting your own energy into wanting a better sex life is a powerful step in the right direction to achieving it.
And what science can’t refute is the benefits of positive thoughts and actions — crystals or not.
So, if precious stones are totally your thing — enjoy, sis. Enjoy!
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