There are a billion-and-one reasons why all women should consider themselves to be extraordinary beings with supernatural powers. Shoot, I am reminded of this every time my period rolls around. Although I've been fortunate to not experience a ton of cramping or any real menstrual-related discomfort, I do bloat, I am drained, a period pimple or two is sure to pop up (and leave a mark), the first two days are like bleed central…and, then there's the cravings. The week before and a couple of days into my period, anything processed and/or sugary, I'm all for it!
If you can totally relate to that last part, don't let anyone cause you to think that it's all in your head. The sugar that you desire is due to the drop in progesterone and estrogen that your body is experiencing. The dip in your serotonin (the feel-good hormone in your system) is why you want carbs like potato chips, pastries and all things white (white rice, white bread, white pasta, etc.). Problem is, while these foods may taste really good, they actually can make your period so much worse due to them causing things like fluctuating hormones, dehydration and a lack of sleep.
So, what exactly should you be eating in order to have a more pleasant menstrual cycle? According to science—and a little taste-testing on my end—here are some that will definitely make that one week a month, so much easier to bear.
1. Dark Chocolate
In every way and form that I can possibly think of, dark chocolate is dope. On the health tip, all of the antioxidants in it makes dark chocolate good for your heart, libido, blood pressure, vision and moods. And yes, get totally excited because dark chocolate is something that you shouldn't feel the least bit guilty about eating when you're on your period.
If you eat a high-quality form of it (it needs to have at least 65 percent cacao in it), the magnesium that's in dark chocolate will reduce the intensity of your cramps and trigger the endorphins in your system so that you feel happier—or at least less stressed.
2. Bananas
A naturally sweet way to get a good amount of potassium and fiber into your system is to have a banana. Some other cool things about this particular fruit is it can help to prevent diabetes, asthma, high blood pressure and cardiovascular disease. If you've got a Charlie horse, bananas can bring instant relief and, the Vitamin A in bananas make them a great way to keep your eyes healthy and strong.
Eating a banana is good for you during your period because oftentimes cramping worsens as the result of having too little potassium in our bodies. Not only that, but the Vitamin B6 that's also in this kind of fruit can soothe any back discomfort that your period may bring to your body.
3. Watermelon
When I'm writing on topics like this, I like to mention when foods are in season; that way, you can get them when they've got the most nutrients and they taste the best. As far as watermelon goes, it's a fruit that is at its peak from May-September. This is a food that will not only keep you hydrated (something that you definitely need when you're on your period; more on that in just a sec), it also has a good amount of vitamins A and C, is able to help prevent certain types of cancer, reduce bodily inflammation and, if you eat some of it following a workout, the citrulline (an amino acid) that is in watermelon can help to decrease any muscle soreness that you may be experiencing.
Since watermelon is made up of so much water (92 percent), it, along with its natural sugar (6 percent), can also soothe your period cramps. It's definitely a healthier alternative to OTC meds.
4. Infused Water
The reason why we all need to drink more water than usual whenever we're on our period is because it's the shift in our progesterone and estrogen levels that causes us to feel bloated and can sometimes end up causing constipation. If you'd honestly rather drink anything but water, make your own infused kind. That way, the water will have a little extra flavor to it, plus the fresh fruits, veggies and/or herbs will give your system some more of the nutrients that it probably needs.
Whatever you do, just make sure that you don't eat a billion bowls of cereal or get a large milkshake. Dairy contains something known as arachidonic acid that can trigger cramps or make them more intense. Also, soda and coffee aren't really your friends either. They are good at putting your hormones on even more of a roller coaster ride. Who wants that?!
5. Saffron
Let's throw a spice in here, shall we? When's the last time you cooked with a little bit of saffron? It's got the kind of antioxidants that fight cancer, lower blood sugar levels, reduce heart disease risk and can increase the libido in both men and women (if you take a 30 mg supplement on a daily basis, that is).
What a lot of people don't know is saffron is also pretty awesome at treating PMS and mood swings. On the PMS tip, saffron soothes food cravings, headaches and any pain that's associated with your period. Also, if you typically find yourself feeling kinda blue (or straight-up pissed) during that time of the month, this a spice that is effective at treating mild depression (again, so long as you consume it on a regular basis).
6. Popcorn
OK, before you get too excited, I'm not talking about movie popcorn that's doused in butter and salt. But yes, popcorn (especially if you pop it yourself—on the stove and not in the microwave) that has as little "extra" on it as possible is a multi-grain food that contains vitamins B1, B3 and B6, magnesium, manganese (a ton of that!), zinc, potassium, copper, phosphorus and iron. Something else that popcorn has in it is a good amount of antioxidants. So yeah, possibly without you even knowing it, it's the kind of snack food that can boost your immune system.
The reason why it's perfectly fine to curl up with a bowl of popcorn and binge-watch your favorite show while you're on your cycle is because popcorn also triggers the production of serotonin in your system. When serotonin is flowing, you end up being in a better mood and getting a sounder night's rest too.
7. Spinach
Spinach is a low-calorie (25 of 'em per serving) vegetable that offers all sorts of nutrients. It's got vitamins A, B6, C, E, K, folic acid, calcium and iron in it. It also contains plant compounds like lutein, quercetin and zeaxanthin. All of these nutrients make it possible for spinach to fight off free radicals, improve your vision and lower your blood pressure. At the same time, if you are prone to kidney stones, you probably shouldn't eat spinach on a daily basis; the calcium and oxalates that's in it could actually cause a kidney stone to form (#themoreyouknow).
Since spinach does have a lot of iron in it, eating some is a good way to get your blood back on track. And, since it also contains Vitamin E, a little green juice or spinach salad can decrease any menstrual discomfort you might be feeling too.
8. Blackberries
The peak season for blackberries is July thru August. I recommend getting some because, not only do they have a lot of vitamins A, C and K in them, they also are full of fiber and manganese too. Aside from the fact that, the antibacterial and anti-inflammatory properties in blackberries can keep the cavities away. And this fruit can boost your brain health too.
Another plus with blackberries is they are able to bring balance back to your hormones (that just may be all over the place during your period). Also, if you are naturally low in estrogen, they just might give that a bit of a boost as well. (For the record, blueberries can also accomplish a lot of these same things.)
9. Cramp Bark Tea
Gee, it's almost poetic that the herb viburnum is also known as cramp bark. Because it contains properties that suppress muscle spasms and reduce muscle tension, it's the type of herb that can relieve symptoms that are related to inflammation, tension headaches and even arthritis. If you're dealing with symptoms related to perimenopause or menopause, it can reduce some of those as well.
Since this is the type of herb that works so well with muscle discomfort, it makes perfect sense why it would be a great herb to treat menstrual cramps. Not only that, but the phenolic compounds in cramp bark can also aid in treating endometriosis or speed up the physical healing process of a miscarriage.
You can take this herb in supplement form, but I recommend drinking it as a hot tea because that can feel super soothing. A brand of cramp bark that's good is Tea Haven's Cramp Bark Tea.
10. Lentils
I don't know about you, but something that I find to be a great comfort food (especially when the cold weather sets in) is some homemade lentil soup. It's a good source of protein and fiber, contains a pretty impressive amount of calcium (38 grams per cup) and, if you're pregnant, it's also a good way to get some (more) folic acid into your system. I decided to end this particular food round up with lentils because two other nutrients that it contains are iron and magnesium.
Due to all of the blood that is lost during our period (the average is around 16 teaspoons), we need the iron replenishment, for sure. And, as far as magnesium goes, if you tend to have trouble sleeping during your period, having some lentils for dinner may help you to get some much needed z-z-z's so that you—and your period—can tackle another day. (If you want to make some of your own soup, Chef Mama Rosa has a recipe for you here. Enjoy!)
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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1. Go All Out with the Christmas Décor
GiphyThere is someone I know who is so obsessed with Christmas, she’s damn near annoying-borderline-terrifying. I’m. Not. Kidding. Yet hey, if you’re going to do a holiday-themed staycation (emphasis on “holiday-themed”), that’s kind of how you’ve got to be. Some décor ideas include:
- A fresh Christmas tree (is the most ideal) that is ultimately decorated
- Wreaths on outside and inside doors
- Garland (with twinkle lights) in predictable and unpredictable places
- Poinsettias
- Mistletoes
- Snow globes
- A stocking (with some of your favorite things in it)
- Fake snow
- Stars
- Angels
- Candy canes
- A BLACK Santa (LOL)
I mean, since you are going to be spending a lot of time at home, it can feel like a mini-winter wonderland if you are intentional about doing more decorating to your living space than you ever have before!
2. Buy a Couple of Christmas-Themed PJs
GiphyWhile I was doing some research on a totally different topic, I happened upon an article that talked about the psychology behind why we should be intentional about what we wear to bed. When you stop to think about the fact that (hopefully) you are sleeping somewhere between 6-8 hours every night, it would make sense that things like the color and fabric of your sleepwear would have a real impact on you — even subconsciously.
Well, when it comes to Christmas décor, specifically, not only does it take you back to nostalgic memories, it can also boost your moods. So, aside from being on-10 with your Christmas décor, also invest in some Christmas-themed PJs. Since you’re going to be doing a lot of lounging around (RIGHT?), do it in something that makes you think about all of your favorite things about this time of year.
3. Cop Some Christmas-Scented Candles
GiphyThere really is no telling how many articles that I’ve written where I am singing the praises of scented soy candles. Candles are soothing, comforting and a very easy way to reduce stress. Also, since it gets darker quicker and for a longer period of time around this time of the year, candles provide a relaxing vibe to your home. Since it is Christmastime, go with scents that are reminiscent of the season:
- Cinnamon
- Vanilla
- Cranberry
- Apple
- Pine
- Frankincense and Myrrh
- Peppermint
- Cashmere
- Ginger(bread)
- Orange
- Sugar Cookies
- Sandalwood
- Cloves
- Cedarwood
- (Hot) Chocolate
Personally, one of my favorite candle companies is Goose Creek. Their signature collections will have your entire house smelling like a high-end bakery. No exaggeration.
4. Play Some Winter-Themed ASMR Sounds
GiphyI’m from Nebraska and my mother was a New Yorker. So, if there is one thing that I like, it’s seasons and that includes snow during wintertime. Unfortunately, Nashville is cray-cray when it comes to that. If, where you live, the weather is all over the place too (which is why I think it’s insane that some people still give pushback to global warming) and you would like for it to at least seem like you are in your own winter wonderland — invest in some fake snow to strategically place around your home.
Oh, and don’t forget to turn on some winter-themed ASMR sounds too. YouTube has videos that run for hours on end that feature blizzards and howling winds that really can make you feel like you are in the midst of an ice storm.
5. Host a Holiday Movie Marathon
GiphyOne thing to remember about a staycation is it doesn’t mean that you have to be alone or that the only people who can participate are the ones who live with you. Since a staycation is simply about staying close to home instead of traveling afar — absolutely consider having some of your favorite people over for a holiday-themed movie marathon. Shoot, Black America Web even did you a solid by publishing “25 Best Black Christmas Movies Of All Time;” plus, Tubi has a Black holiday hits section of indie films too.
Oh, and make sure to get creative with the Christmas-themed snacks. Some ideas? Some Kentucky-fried turkey tenders with cranberry hot sauce (recipe here), some Holiday Hot Spinach Dip (recipe here), some Grinch Kabobs (recipe here), some roasted pecans (recipe here) and some Pomegranate Guacamole (recipe here).
6. Spend a Night (or Two) at a Hotel or Vacation House
GiphyJust like you don’t have to be alone during a staycation, you also don’t have to be cooped up in your house the entire time. Get a change of scenery in your own city by spending the night in a hotel that you’ve always wanted to try out or renting a vacation house for you and some of your folks to hang out in during the time between Christmas and New Year’s Day. I have a “love little sister” who does this randomly when she needs a break from her work as a therapist. She says that it’s damn near like taking a trip (and she has PLENTY of passport stamps; trust me).
7. Have Brunch or Dinner at a Christmas-Themed Restaurant
GiphyIf nothing puts a bigger smile on your face than the thought of DoorDashing meals and barely even touching your stove during your staycation — hey, I am right there with you. Do consider going out to brunch or dinner during your chill time, though. It’s another way to bond with people and create some current holiday memories. And if you’ve got a bae and you opt for dinner, it can be a wonderful type of Christmas-themed date.
8. Go to a Holiday-Themed Concert
GiphyBeing that I got my start as an entertainment writer, hear me when I say that I’m not someone who just has to go to a live concert every chance that I get. Oh, but baby, when I saw that El DeBarge was doing a City Winery tour and he was going to be here right before Christmas — I booked myself a ticket quick, fast and in a super-duper hurry! Shoot, I didn’t even want to go with someone because I plan to give him and that falsetto voice of his my complete and undivided attention. LOL.
I don’t know what it is about the holiday season that makes live music that much more enjoyable — but if there is a concert that features one of your favorite artists happening right through here, consider that to be a cool way to “tour your city” while cultivating a really awesome memory at the same time.
9. Also, Go Ice Skating
GiphyOne of my fondest memories of time with my father is going ice skating. We actually would do it in the summer (because that is when I would visit him) and, every year, he would get me a new ice skating outfit. Even now, when I watch someone ice skate (even in movies; like in the classic movie Garden State), I will have warm fuzzies.
Anyway, if you’ve never been before, go. If it’s been forever since you have, also go. There is something that is very sweet and so signature Christmas about it. Plus, it’s a top-tier form of exercise.
10. Take a Christmas Lights Tour
GiphyAnother one of my favorite Christmas memories is driving through neighborhoods and looking at the Christmas lights. And just like a Christmas concert can be a form of hometown touring, so can doing this if you decide to choose a couple of areas where you’ve never really been or rarely frequent.
Now are you excited about the thought of experiencing a holiday-themed staycation?
I thought you would be. ENJOY!
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