How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
After meeting by way of mutual friends at an HBCU homecoming almost ten years ago, Tenesia and Terence exchanged numbers only to go their separate ways and move on with their lives. It wasn't until randomly meeting again at a club years later that the two would realize that their encounter wasn't a coincidence, it was fate.
After months of pursuing a long-distance relationship, the couple now shares a home with a few fur babies in Raleigh, NC and according to Tenesia and Terence, their love story is just getting started. In a recent interview with xoNecole, the couple opened up about their first encounter, taking the first steps in their relationship, and learning to cope when you and your partner speak different love languages.
While it's true that opposites attract, this fact can also cause a lot of friction in your relationship. Tenesia told xoNecole, "Terence and I are complete opposites in a lot of areas. And although that works to our advantage in so many ways, it can also cause challenges. I think the most challenging thing for me is acknowledging those differences and learning how to navigate around them, especially in communication."
The couple explained that although there have been times when their relationship has been challenging, there hasn't been a moment that it wasn't worth it. To read more about how Tenesia and Terence's chance encounter slowly but surely evolved into a modern-day love story, scroll below!
How They Met
Terence: I first met Tenesia at North Carolina A&T University's Homecoming almost a decade ago. I was leaving a concert with my line brothers and one of my line brothers wanted to meet up with some friends he knew as we walked back to our car. He began introducing me to everyone and all I wanted to know is who's the cutie in the backseat. He got to Tenesia and we exchanged some words, I showed my charm (laughs) which led to us exchanging numbers and guess what? We never texted each other after that day—talk about dropping the ball.
Years went by without us ever talking until one random night at the club where we met for the first time all over again, or at least that's what Tenesia thought at first. I always knew who she was. I mean how could I forget her? Anyways, we went to exchange numbers again and noticed we already had each other's contacts in our phone. After feeling stupid and laughing it over, we took a white gummy bear shot together—I'll never forget—and the rest was history.
Tenesia: Our "how we met" story will always be one of my favorite stories to tell because it happened twice. It was fate (laughs).
First Impressions
Terence: My first impression of Tenesia was that she was a true free spirit that loved to have fun. She gave off an amazing vibe that made me feel like no one ever did. Plus, she was drop-dead gorgeous and to this day she is saved in my phone as "Gorg".
Tenesia: My first impression was, "Well, he's gorgeous!" But after talking that night, it just felt so natural and easy. I could tell he was super respectful and I immediately felt comfortable around him.
Instagram/@tenesiaandterence
"We spent all night just talking and vibing on someone's dock at the beach. It was so good that we didn't realize we were out there until like 5am. It was a romantic's dream."
First Date
Terence: Tenesia will probably say our first date was at the state fair which was probably the first "planned" date but I always thought it was this night at the beach when we first started talking. I was in her town for the weekend and we, of course, met up. We spent all night just talking and vibing on someone's dock at the beach. It was so good that we didn't realize we were out there until like 5am. It was a romantic's dream.
Tenesia: Our first date was the North Carolina State Fair. I have always loved the fair so I was so excited! We took a picture at the cheesy little display they have when you walk in and rode pretty much every ride! Terence even convinced me to get on the Ferris wheel (which I am terrified of). I remember he played the game where you have to stand the glass bottle up straight using a ring connected to a string on a pole and he was so determined to win me the biggest prize. Now that we've been together for years, it makes perfect sense because Terence will keep working at something until he gets it right! He did end up winning me a huge bear and then he carried it around the rest of the night.
Making It Official
Terence: Tenesia's answer is probably funnier because she always believed she coerced me into being in a relationship with her after a couple's weekend mountain retreat. We were surrounding a bonfire and she basically said, "We're now together." And I was like, "Yeah, I guess so…" I didn't know that was going to be the weekend we made it official but she definitely did (laughs). We later confirmed we both wanted this relationship to be official during the car ride home but the night before was iffy.
Tenesia: I knew it was time to make it official when I went on a trip to the mountains with him and his friends. We had been dating a couple of months and I was just like, "I'm not letting this get away." I knew what I wanted and told him! It worked.
The “L” Word
Terence: Honestly, I cannot remember the first time I said I love you but I was definitely the first to say it for sure. Must be the Cancer in me...
Tenesia: This sounds so bad but I honestly can't remember the first time we said I love you! I know that I was feeling myself falling for him for so long before I ever said it though. And I'm 90% sure he said it first!
"Over time, I think I just knew Tenesia was the one. She became the only person I wanted to be around. She challenged me, encouraged me, and made me a better man. She loves me despite my flaws and I naturally wanted to create a future with her. We never second-guessed anything together, no matter how crazy it sounded."
The One
Terence: I always believed that someone becomes the one versus just finding "the one". You can have an amazing spark with someone but you may not be compatible long-term. You have to teach each other and show them how you need to be loved. Over time, I think I just knew Tenesia was the one. She became the only person I wanted to be around. She challenged me, encouraged me, and made me a better man. She loves me despite my flaws and I naturally wanted to create a future with her. We never second-guessed anything together, no matter how crazy it sounded.
Tenesia: I knew Terence was the one before we were ever officially together. It was when we first started talking/dating... he came down to visit me and we went out with my friends. The night was super fun and after the bar closed we went for a walk on the beach. We ended up talking for hours and it just felt right. Like everything that I thought had gone wrong before, went wrong for a reason to eventually lead me to meeting him (again) and to that night. I even texted my friend after that night and told her that I knew Terence was it!
Trading Spaces
Terence: Tenesia decided to be a travel nurse within our first year of dating. I had the idea of her taking a contract in the city where I lived and just staying with me. It just made sense, we were always traveling to see each other plus why not save money by staying together.
Tenesia: We made ourselves official in November and moved in together that next May. I'm pretty sure I brought it up because I wanted us to be able to spend more time together. Plus, I was tired of driving back and forth!
Building Together
Terence: Well, first comes marriage and then (laughs)... is there some bling-bling in Tenesia's future? Stay tuned. We really want to build our Tenesia And Terence empire and become financially free. We also want to move to our dream location and settle down.
Tenesia: We just bought our first house together in June 2019 and are already talking about moving again in the near future! But running Instagram and our blog together and trying to build our brand is one of our main focuses as far as building together. We are always brainstorming new ideas to build our empire!
Instagram/@tenesiaandterence
"We've learned that communication is key. We have different ways of communicating but we've both come to the understanding that we have to talk things out in order to get past them."
Overcoming Challenges
Terence: We rarely have a true confrontation with each other but when we do we just talk it out or realize it's not a big deal. The good thing about us is we can't stay mad at each other and always work it out.
Tenesia: We've learned that communication is key. We have different ways of communicating but we've both come to the understanding that we have to talk things out in order to get past them. We honestly don't argue often, but even in the little disagreements, we try to take a step back and understand where the other person is coming from.
Favorite Things
Terence: My favorite thing about Tenesia is the way she is never satisfied with being average and complacent in life. She is always dreaming of life without limits and believing that both of us can achieve anything. She has a very unorthodox way of thinking.
Tenesia: My favorite thing about Terence is how thoughtful he is. From tiny things he says or does that lets me know he was listening when I thought he wasn't. Making sure I chug water after I've been drinking so I don't have a headache the next day. Or never coming home without calling me first to see if I need anything. He really is just the sweetest guy!
For more Tenesia & Terence, follow them on Instagram!
Featured image by Instagram/@TenesiaandTerence.
RELATED
So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
Luckily, there are some things that you can do to either speed up the healing process of a cold or make having one more bearable than usual. Things that are affordable, all-natural, and easy to incorporate into your daily routine.
Are you ready to know how to nip a damn cold in the bud…before you even get one?
Here ya go.
1. Fire Cider
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Two drinks that I am gonna drink all the way down, each and every fall season, are hot chocolate and apple cider (that’s warmed up). So, when I read about something called “fire cider,” it absolutely caught my attention. If you’re not familiar with it, fire cider is a homemade drink that consists of things like apple cider vinegar, herbs and other ingredients that are specifically designed to boost your immune system.
I won’t lie to you — since some of the traditional recipes contain things like onion and garlic (sulfur has potent medicinal properties) and sometimes even hot peppers (which help to clear up congestion) — although fire cider might not be your favorite as far as your palate is concerned, the viruses (because there are reportedly somewhere around 200 of ‘em) that cause colds will lose a lot of their impact if you drink this; and that makes it worth a shot — well, swallow. Some fire cider recipes can be found here, here and here.
2. Probiotics
A few years ago, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “80% Of Your Immunity Is In Your Gut. Take Care Of It Like This.” — and that alone should explain why and how a probiotic can help to prevent colds and make it easier to get over them. The reality is that a healthy gut is what helps to monitor how your immune system reacts and responds to harmful pathogens that may try and get into your system, including ones that cause the common cold.
And since probiotics feed your gut with “good bacteria,” this gives your gut the ability to be better (and quicker) at fighting off the bad. So yeah, take a probiotic — all of the time and definitely while you have a cold. It helps.
3. Peppermint (or Eucalyptus) Oil
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Although I rarely get sick (praise the Lord!), when I do catch a cold, I think what I hate the most is not being able to comfortably breathe. Well, something that is proven to help with that is peppermint essential oil. That’s because it contains properties that act as a natural decongestant as well as a fever reducer. Another essential oil that can hook you up in this department is eucalyptus oil. It’s bomb because it helps to soothe a nagging cough, it can clear up chest congestion and ultimately makes it easier to breathe.
So, before turning in at night, either mix a few drops of one (or both) of these oils with a carrier oil like grapeseed, avocado or jojoba, warm it up for 10 seconds in the microwave and apply it to the sides of your nose or on your best or back. Or put the oil in a diffuser. It can quickly ease cold-related symptoms while also making it so much easier for you to rest (which is something else your body needs to get over a cold; more on that in a sec).
4. Zinc Lozenges
Zinc is a mineral that helps to keep your immune system healthy and strong — and since a weakened immunity is directly connected to having more colds (2-4 a year is considered to be “normal,” by the way), it’s always a good idea to have some zinc in your body. As it relates to colds, specifically, aside from the fact that zinc can help you from catching one to begin with, there are also studies which say that sucking on zinc lozenges can help to shorten the timespan of a cold as well.
To be fair, some people have said that zinc lozenges make them feel nauseated; however, everything has its pros and cons and so, how would you know if you’re one of these folks unless you try it? Oh, and while we are on this topic, there are also zinc supplements and foods that are high in zinc (like red meat, lentils, hemp seeds, cashews and quinoa) if you want to try and get more zinc into your system that way (although lozenges are gonna be your best bet on the shortening tip; just sayin’).
5. Foods Rich in Vitamin C
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Speaking of foods that can fight a cold, out of all of what you’ve read here, probably what you are quite familiar with is the fact that vitamin C and colds are mortal enemies. In fact, one pretty significant study says that by taking one gram of vitamin C a day during a cold, you can reduce the severity of your symptoms by as much as 15 percent.
That’s because vitamin C is packed with antioxidants, it helps to reduce bodily inflammation and it helps to strengthen your immunity too. Foods that are full of vitamin C include chili and yellow peppers, kale, kiwi, papaya, broccoli, kale and citrus fruits.
6. Elderberry Tea
If you’re someone who likes to put preserves on your biscuits or toast, have you ever tried one that is made from elderberries (recipe here)? It’s actually pretty good — and good for you because elderberries are high in vitamin C, fiber and antioxidants. And that is why they are great whenever you are trying to hurry up and get over a cold because they also contain properties that are literally antiviral — and since a cold is a virus…well, there you have it.
One of the best ways to get elderberries into your system? Elderberry tea. If you add honey to it, honey can help to shorten symptoms like a stuffy nose, sore throat and cough by 1-2 days. Very cool.
7. REST
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Did you know that even one day of not getting the sleep that you need to weaken your immune system and increase bodily inflammation at the same time too? That’s because one of the benefits of a good night’s rest is it rejuvenates and recharges your system, so that your immunity can work at its optimal level.
Not only that but, according to science, if you already have a cold, getting plenty of rest can benefit you on a few different levels as well. First, your cytokines (proteins that boost your immunity) are released when you sleep.
Second, your body temperature elevates enough to kill some of the bacteria and viruses that are making you sick. Finally, sleep provides you with the energy that you need in order to get through the day while you are healing from your sickness. So, if you want to get through your cold ASAP, be intentional about getting as much rest as you possibly can.
BONUS: A Humidifier
When you get a chance, please check out “10 Really Good Reasons To Get Yourself A Humidifier This Fall”. There really are all kinds of solid reasons to invest in a humidifier around this time of the year — and one of them is to make getting through the cold (and flu) season so much easier for you. Since humidifiers bring moisture into the air, that can help to loosen up congestion, soothe an irritated throat, decrease coughing, help with the healing process of respiratory infections and it can help you to sleep better — so that you can get past your cold sooner.
So, if you don’t already have a humidifier, cop one ASAP. Your future colds will absolutely hate that you did. LOL. For a list of some highly recommended humidifiers that are currently on the market, click here.
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Featured image by Casper1774 Studio/Shutterstock